#authwith

[sacrochymeia-kalos]

yuo like cats...? WOE PURUGLY BE UPON YE

INCINEROAR

THE THREE VERSIONS OF MEOWTH

[poor guy is probably having some serious Cat Visions right now]

"Oh, my God that's a lot of fucking weird cats. Why is the last cat gay?"

[sacrochymeia-kalos]

welcome to applebees you want apples or bees

"Finally, a voice that makes goddamn sense. Bees, please. With a side of spiders on the side." The sun shines down from its zenith. Flowers circle the path.

[sacrochymeia-kalos]

A loud snapping sound.

Elliot crashes on out of the undergrowth, waking up with a start as he tumbles out of a crack in space. A short minute later, his bag is thrown directly into the back of his head.

Getting spiked into the dirt isn't a great wake-up call for anyone. Elliot least of all. He was getting some gladly-needed sleep, something of a rarity for him, and now he's... somewhere green, with grass in his mouth and probably tetanus or some kind of tapeworm. And then, with a quiet snap, the hole in reality is gone.

After a long, sustained second of thinking, Elliot finally moves. He buries his head in his hands, groaning. "God, I just can't get nice things. Okay. Probably just a malfunctioned Harm getting tested way past the normal date. Just like all the other times. You just have to figure out where you are and contact the BAW to get back to Petra. Just an inconvenience. Nothing more."

With that, he stands. There's a few things nearby him- his bag has a change of clothes for exactly this reason (just a regular t-shirt, sweatpants, and hoodie), as well as his phone, identification, and some cash. There's obviously his scythe, which lies on the ground breaking grass, and then there's some shoes. At least whoever sent him through that portal was thoughtful. He didn't sleep with those on.

But in any case, this is much better than he thought. Elliot quickly gets dressed, putting his pajamas away, and then picks up his scythe. He clips it to the side of the backpack, with a mild grimace. His day just had to be like this, right? Though he supposes maybe it's the middle of the night and he's just on the other side of the world.

Eugh. If that was the case, he would have to call Petr-!

A young, somewhat shrill voice calls out. The light filtering through the trees shows a... girl? Maybe a young teenager, still wearing school clothing. One who is yelling right now.

"HEY!!! HEY YOU!!! Fight me!!! Fight me already it's been AGES!!!" Her eyes blaze with determination, and she's already pulling out some kind of ball with a cheeky grin.

Elliot blinks, and then ice slides down his spine. This fucker really was going to fight, wasn't she? Though the matchup wasn't too bad- he just has to make sure he doesn't get hit with that ball. Harms can do basically goddamn anything, and he highly doubts that even a boisterous teenager at the peak of their idiocy would start a fight using what are basically glorified tennis balls.

So, he can't get hit. Easy. With practiced precision and smoothness built on implanted instinct (courtesy of his Harm, of course), Elliot un-clips his scythe from his backpack and flips it dangerous edge towards the ground.

Even if he was in possibly mortal danger right now, he can't just... kill a kid, right?

Throughout all of this, the lass still stands there jabbering even with her eyes closed. "-RCEUS it's been fuckin' ages since I've had a proper battle with someone and I NEED CASH! Also it's fun as hell! You'd fuckin' expect people would take more walks in the forest- I found fucking leaf stones in here and NOBODY believed me until I showed them, and STILL NOBODY'S HERE!!! Jeez, it's like they're superstitious or someth-!"

Elliot, with a grim look on his face, slowly walked up to the kid and was pulling back to hit her in the noggin. Not hard, and not with the sharp side of the blade- the thing could cut STEEL, let alone a random child's skull- he was rather trying to incapacitate her so he could notify the local authorities as soon as possible. And he knew his strength! He wouldn't have- It's not like he would have done any lasting damage- but still.

The kid is clearly terrified. And at a distance of only around four feet away, it's extremely obvious she is, in fact, a kid. "Er- H- M- Mister? Ha! Ha ha! Uh! That's! A pretty cool Pokemon you have there! Uh! We don't have to fight, you know! I mean, not really! Not like melee commmmbat like in, whatever platform fighter you're going for! I just, wanted, a Pokemon battle! Please don't bash my head in???" Oh god.

Now he's confused, but he understands what he must come off as- some random guy holding up a bladed instrument against a fucking child- so Elliot backs up a bit. Still in ready stance, but only enough so for another scythe expert to see. Or... if this kid is using her parent's Harm, he supposes she could see as well. Sidetracked!

"Right, sorry, what do you mean by Pokemon battle? I thought you wanted to fucking kill me- what the hell is that kind of Harm? Activated, it looks like? Greater or Lesser? Where are your parents??"

Just like that, she's immediately confused and the tone has shifted from somber and melancholy to... completely fucking amused? "W-Huh??? You don't know what- what do you MEAN, Harm???" Wild gesticulation punctuates every overblown statement. "This is a Poke Ball? The one that I was gonna use to send out my Pokemon to fight your one with?? Is that thing just an actual honest-to-Arceus scythe??? I mean, cool, but also, please keep it away from me holy shit??? Wow! You! Don't know what a Pokemon is!"

"Yes, I can hardly contain my amusement as well." Elliot groans, clipping his scythe back onto his backpack and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Do you want to educate me on what, perchance, a 'Pokemon' is or like, at least point me towards the nearest library?"

She was all too happy to point him towards the nearest town- Santalune City, it was? And this was "Santalune Forest"- because, in her words, she was "DEFINITELY not ready to explain that right now." So, making his way through the forest, and avoiding all the tall grass reaching up to his midsection, Elliot trudged his way towards Santalune City.

The odd stares he was getting were honestly probably better than his commute would have been. And if he had signal (damn ISP, cutting corners), he would have called his girlfriend Petra- but that was second to getting back into a civilized area. He still clung to the hope that he was just... somewhere strange.

And he was. But somewhere far stranger than he had any right to be.

Asks are now open. Drive this fucker crazy, y'all.

[sacrochymeia-kalos]

maybe that one anon was wrong abt murder. you should see whether or not you can kill people in this world

"You are weirdly personable and also I think insane. Either I A. kill someone and then get fucking arrested for it, or B. I don't kill someone and I get nothing." Elliot stands in place at the top of the hill for a second. A solid few minutes of walking up a steep slope isn't great. "Oh, good, walls. But yeah, I'm not gonna fucking try to kill someone what the hell."

The town sits at the bottom of this hill, with the paved brick entrance tantalizingly close. Elliot still sits, waiting for a bit to catch his breath.

[sacrochymeia-kalos]

"Well, he was nice!" The voice chuckles rather joyously. "Alright, to the city! Maybe stop by the Pokemart, if there's one nearby, to stock up on supplies. They're buildings like the Pokecenter but with a blue roof. But... you probably don't have the proper currency, now that I think about it... so maybe see if the Pokecenter will give you some things for free! That guy mentioned that, yeah? Red roof, he said. Hopefully Nurse Joy will be thoughtful and lend you a hand in stocking up!" -HS anon

"Yeah, yeah, I would, but... there's probably someone else who needs the supplies more than I do. Me? I've got ol' trusty here. I'll be fine. And it's likely that Lumiose will have more supplies. So..." He trails off, eyes closed.

A moment of thought later. "Argh! Fine, whatever. That's probably the best idea, but I really don't want to cause any trouble so I'll just pop in, ask about it, and then leave." Elliot starts off towards the Pokecenter.

Once he gets there, the doors automatically open (to his dismay.) Nurse Joy waves happily from behind the counter.

"Hi, just asking if you had any medical supplies? No particular reason, and I can't really pay. Just gauze or something. Prepping for a hike, don't want to get caught off guard."

The nurse tilts her head. "Well, you're forward. I like that! Here, I believe I can give you a roll and some Potions for topical use! Do you have any Pokemon you'd like to heal?"

"Uh," Elliot stammers. "Well, no, not really. That's, sort of what I'm going for. Heading to Lumiose."

"Oh! You're just starting out, isn't that cute? Good luck!" She rummages around in the cabinets underneath the desk, then pulls out a roll of medical bandages and a few almost-rectangular purple spray bottles. "The gauze and Potions, as you asked! Apply sparingly with these, they're intended for both humans and Pokemon but that makes them a little strong. Have a nice day!"

She seems like the kind of person to enjoy her work, and moves back to tapping on the screens behind the desk to log the inventory change as Elliot nods and awkwardly shuffles right back out the door.

Now it's time for him to start walking through Route 4.

[sacrochymeia-kalos]

"I suppose that's fair, but I doubt we're connected to those. Most of us didn't even know what Harms are, until you explained them, that is. Also what are your pronouns? Mine are he/him, though I'm considering using others." -HS anon

"As I said, I'm currently using he/him pronouns. And I dunno. Maybe the Harm connected me to some extradimensional web of people. Wouldn't be the strangest thing."

Elliot is at the gate. There's no guards or anything. "...I mean, there's people here. Where to first?"

There are several buildings in the city. If you do not suggest a place for him to go, he will go somewhere himself.

[sacrochymeia-kalos]

"You're weirdly calm about hearing voices in your head. What if we're particularly harmful? Well, most of us are nice, but there are cruel voices. We're called askers, specifically! The cruel ones are typically known as Mean Anons. Hopefully you won't have to deal with that." -HS anon

"Eh, I don't care?" Elliot pops his hands into his hoodie pockets. "I mean, weirder Harms exist. Who knows, maybe you're unrelated to those, but... what are you gonna do, jam my brain up with random garbage. Pfft, I've already got that down."

There's a few buildings peeking out over the next hill, and Elliot speeds his pace up a bit. "In any case, water off my back. Can't possibly- huff- be that bad."

[sacrochymeia-kalos]

The image is loaded into his head like a scanline printer, destroying any semblance of thought that Elliot previously had. "Wuh."