#autism hell

[fishfearer]

im like super neurotypical about phighting as you can tell. it got me out of a month long art rut but like idec about it that much . Yeah

+ species hcs if u even care. bc i think about these guys a normal amount. clearly

[namelessbenji]

Was at a hot ass 4th of July event with my parents (forcibly). It sucked but they had some community chalk (and bubbles) at one of the rest areas so of course I had to draw the first thing that came to my mind

[dapperinsanity]

Any low support needs/“high functioning” autistic folk out there who can’t work? Either solely because of your autism or if you have other comorbidities like me. Just curious because I’m feeling a bit disappointed in myself at this point in my life. I’m not really seen as disabled despite me having multiple other conditions including a (sorta) physical one.

[unpluggedlamp1]

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH THIS ARTEMIS II MARCH 3RD NET RUMOR FUCKERY HELP. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO RESCHEDULE EVERYTHING ON A HUNCH. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. THIS IS TORTURE. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING. I CAN'T MISS THIS I CAN'T MISS THIS I CAN'T MISS THIS I CAN'T

[paragonerrr]

She’s canonically a cannibal. She’s sacrilegious. She’s a nuisance in every route. She has aura IN CANON. She has a god complex. She wields a big ass sword. She has fangs. She unashamedly shows her face in a culture where it’s a sign of surrender, and THEN kills someone. She

[connorjared]

there are so many things I could say and back up with my annotations but there are some things I want to say

- connor is an unreliable narrator, but in an interesting way. unlike evan, connor's text is purposely written like he's trying to seem WORSE than he is. that's why I think rereading the book as an adult (especially if you have worked with kids) is so incredibly tragic. it's easier to see every way he was utterly failed both personally and systemically when you are no longer the child being failed personally and systemically

- connor is canonically a victim of the troubled teen industry and says it was BETTER than rehab. this genuinely breaks my heart because you can catch little pieces of CPTSD throughout his text and dialogue—he becomes extremely defensive and assumes evan is "tricking him into looking crazy," he states relief there's no longer anyone "waiting around the corner to catch him or check for red in his eyes" this child was treated like a criminal and the one place he felt safe in was removed when he chose to take the blame for something that he didn't do (see below)

- connor taking the fall for his... situationshipfriend miguel because he knew his parents were rich enough and he was white enough to get a more lenient punishment for WEED (which. the criminalization of that and the stigma is a whole OTHER thing) this haunts me. the act itself is noble, unhealthily self sacrificing, but that's not what gets me. his proclaimed friend not only allows him to do this, but even after connor GOES TO REHAB FOR HIM miguel doesn't tell his own mom the truth, causing her to ban the two of them hanging out and connor LOSES his only safe space right after undergoing rehab that he never even needed

- connor canonically has been put on and off multiple medications , we unfortunately don't know when this started but we DO know it was not in his control. SSRIs take a long time to work and shouldn't be switched quickly even for adults, let alone teenagers, and they ESPECIALLY should not be used as stand-ins for accommodations of a disability. there's far more I could say about other medications this might have been such as an SNRI (which connor has said to have less than favorable opinions of) and this is possibly even MORE concerning

- there has been a BUZZ on tiktok about how zoe was a girl icon for being forced to mourn her "abusive brother" and while they definitely had a toxic sibling dynamic fed by their toxic parental dynamic, the idea the toxicity was one sided is just... wrong. not even subjectively, the narrative WANTS you to know this is wrong, at least in the book. the musical... lets just say, im glad they wrote the book. it doesn't undo the honestly pretty shit messaging of the musical, but it adds context that helps derail claims like the one above that add further stigma to victims of suicide. zoe is verbally degrading to connor in recollections and in the small amount of time we hear her speak about him (though, this does change as her character develops throughout the book and she begins to mourn him properly.) zoe is a glass child. she resents all of the negative attention connor received because she didn't get any attention at all. so, she often sides with larry through the book, who is said to have more or less gotten tired of connor and considered him attention seeking, which would be something INCREDIBLY validating for a glass child to hear. zoe is, unfortunately and ironically, often written with detail but no substance. evan, who I could talk about at length and very angrily, constantly prattles small things he notices about her—but, and im not sure if this is the author's intention or not, she barely gets any true characterization outside of her interactions with others, which strangely almost makes her a side character (which i suppose she is) but there are some core parts of HER identity and her character alone that can be picked up throughout the book and i could go on for hours about that and i will not now but i will

- i didn't even touch on cynthia and larry and their abuse (yes! people can love their children and be abusive) but by god i will. by god

dear evan hansen fandom please interact. if u disagree i will probably point an autism beam at you in the form of a personally crafted video essay on why I am right and you are wrong. I have read this book inside and out

[feedtheriver]

required event tomorrow involving being split up from my friends and being forced to talk about results of a personality test. not thrilled

[metromorgue]

Do NOT try to use a different color palette on this app that isn’t dark mode