After the shitshow that was the morning of the wedding, Conrad gets the fuck out of this situation and finds happiness - post love confession edition | post season 2 edition Fandom: The Summer I Turned Pretty This was supposed to be a “Conrad’s takes the first flight after the confession” but then I watched the new episode….Belly didn’t marry Jeremiah, don’t worry, but Conrad hasn’t talk to anyone since the wedding.
Disclaimers: English is not my first language, and I’m not American so I have no idea how colleges work there (I barely know how my uni works). Also don’t know anything about hospitals and surgical programs, but I grew up watching Grey’s Anatomy, so I’m basing it off of that.
To keep his dead mother’s last wish, he destroyed all his relationships.
Taylor never liked him, Jeremiah always resented him, Belly hated him and even Steven was against him.
At least he had Laurel. Loosing her would be a pain comparable to the one he felt when he lost Belly, just below the one he felt when his mother died.
But if he could go back, he would probably still do it. Maybe not the Belly part, but doing everything in his power to keep his promise to his mum? Always, no hesitation.
He knew that a lot of it was his own fault, that he was the one who held himself to impossible standards and bottled up everything and always tried to be as perfect as humanly possible.
But it still hurt, the fact that he couldn’t be human, that he couldn’t be selfish just this once, without being treated like he was the worst person ever. Just for one day he wanted to be treated like everyone treated the other, without being put high up on a pedestal, without being accused of not being the good person he “pretended” to be.
Being punched twice by his brother was the final straw.
His mother’s words kept repeating in his head while he sat back in his car, ready to drive to the country club to say goodbye to Belly and leave for good. He couldn’t disappoint his mum.
So, he went straight to the house, grabbed his things and back into his car to go to the airport. On his way there he called Agnes, who was kept in the loop up until the bachelor party and who didn’t know the latest happenings.
Talking to her helped a lot, and kept him company while he waited for his flight. The ticket was expensive, but he could pick up a job or something to make up for it. He wasn’t sure his father would be paying anything for him anymore.
His face hurt, but instead of seeking help, or at least an ice pack, he let it be. He deserved it. He deserved worse, in fact.
Or, that’s what he thought.
His therapist, not so much.
Honestly, thank god he met Agnes all those years ago when he started at Stanford. During their call she was also texting the campus’s therapist office to book him an appointment as soon as the plane landed.
And he finally talked about Belly. From the beginning to the end, from the glass unicorns, to him teaching her how to dance, from their first kiss to their last fight two nights before.
He put blame and guilt and shame on himself. How could he not? The people that were once his family did that not even ten hours before.
His therapist tried to make him see a new perspective on the subject, telling him that he is not the only villain in the story, that he is not a villain at all. He was a 17 years old boy who was struggling with the weight of his mother's death and keeping it a secret, his father's affair and keeping it a secret, protecting his brother, anxiety and probable depression.
He shouldn't have pushed everybody away, he shouldn't have bottled everything up, but that was the only way he knew how to handle things. He never had a different example on how to do it in a healthy way.
He did argue with that, saying that his grief didn't give him the right to be an horrendous boyfriend to Belly. Grief didn't give him the right to be an asshole.
They spent an extra hour (he would by Agnes a giant pizza as a thank you for booking him a two hour session) going back and forth about him being an asshole or not.
"Conrad, if you shouldn't have acted distant, Belly shouldn't have said those things to you at your mum's funeral." "She didn't mean it. She was grieving, my mum was important for her too." "So were you, and yet you're calling yourself an asshole for it."
That was eye opening. Yeah, he somewhat knew about his tendency of keeping himself to higher standards, impossible standards, but hearing someone tell him that so directly and simply was different.
His first instinct was to bury himself into school work, seeing his second year of med school was starting soon. It was to make himself so busy he couldn't even think about anything.
But it was something past Conrad would've done. And while he didn't feel like an exactly improved version in that moment, he knew he couldn't go back to his bad habits.
Two sessions a week with his therapist helped a lot. Finally talking about Belly felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders.
After a while, the ever present pain started to feel less strong, always there but more in the back of everything else.
He met some people Agnes knew from the clinic job, they would all study together, quiz each other and just hang out.
He resumed his trip to the beach. He finally accepted that he probably would never see Cousins or the beach house ever again, not after Belly and Jeremiah got married. Honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if some day his brother called to buy from him his part of the house, so Conrad would have no reason to go there anymore.
Once med school came to an end, he got into one of the best surgical residencies of the country (also in California) and got an apartment with Agnes.
The hours were exhausting, but it felt so good. For a little bit he thought about going down the oncology route, but he didn't know if he could ever manage seeing people in the same conditions his mum was every single day of his life.
Dating was not on the front of his mind, and definitely not a priority. He barely had time to cook a semi complete meal in the down time between one shift, a nap, and another shift, so going to a bar and meet people or even doing it online was kind of difficult.
During his first year he got close with some of the interns in his group, and one of them introduced him to their sibling.
Initially he refused. He still believed he wasn’t ready to find someone new and that he was still in love with Belly, even after three years since she married his brother.
But after two long chats, one with his best friend and the other with his therapist, he found out that those feeling weren’t there anymore. Sure, he would probably always feel a little fondness for Belly, because she was the first girl he ever loved, and he had known here for all of her life and basically all of his.
But the pain he caused her and the pain she caused him (he was finally able to admit that Belly’s words at prom and at the funeral and on the beach really did hurt him) kind of covered everything else.
So he went on that date. And he had so much fun. He had a full two days of off time, so they spent an entire day together, walking and talking and laughing and eating.
They took it slow. By the third year of residency they moved together. At the end of the fifth, after his big final exam to become a surgeon, he proposed on the beach where they went during their first date.
A part of him was sad that he didn’t have his mother’s ring, but knowing Susannah he knew that the only person who could have it was Belly.
Susannah was a big part of the talks he had with his therapist. She always was, but with the Belly part of the subject unlocked he had so much more to talk about. And he had some revelations.
He would always love his mother, and he could never resent her, but he could recognize that some of her behaviours were not exactly healthy, and that some of her words shouldn’t have been said to her sons and her de facto daughter when they were so young.
Writing his wedding letter all about Belly was kind of messed up. Thankfully he already read it, because reading it on the day of his wedding to someone else would’ve been devastating. He would’ve felt like he was going against his mother wishes.
But, like his therapist said, he could value his mother’s opinion, but he was still his own person. And he was going to marry the love of his life, even if it was not the one his mother expected.
It was after the engagement that he heard from Steven again. Apparently one of his friends posted something from the celebration they had in their usual bar after he proposed, and he was tagged.
He didn't think Steven (or anyone from that part of his life) still followed him. Not that he used social that much. So imagine his surprise when he got a call at 5 am from his ex best friend who hadn't talk to him in eight years.
It was then that he found out that Jeremiah and Belly never married. Apparently they called it off right after Conrad left, and Belly literally ran away to Paris.
They got back to their usual banter with no problems, and Conrad was informed about everything he missed.
Steven and Taylor were together again. Forever, this time. they had been together with no break ups for six years now and Steven was apparently thinking of proposing. He never expected the two to wait so long, but apparently the failed Jellyfish (as Taylor used to say) wedding installed fear in all of them. Or maybe it was Adam's reaction when he learned that he payed so much money for nothing.
Jeremiah finally started therapy. He still worked for their dad but didn't try anymore to emulate him in everything. He hadn't had a stable relationship yet, but he said he was finally ready to settle down.
Belly spent three years in Paris, finishing college and getting her master. Now she worked in Philly as a counselor in one of the best school of the city. She had a boyfriend, they had been dating for a year and thankfully he didn't have brothers.
Conrad was ready for the truth to destroy him, and to made him second guess every single choice. But he didn't. He was just sad for him brother and his friend. And a little bit happy at his father's suffering. (After he saw Kayleigh as his plus one he decided that he didn't want anything to do with him ever again.)
Steven told him he regretted what he said, and that he now knew why he did what he did.
They kept in touch. One or twice a month. Then they started to text. It was nice having back one of his childhood friends.
He started talking with Laurel again. Cutting her off was one of the hardest things he had to do, but he couldn't handle the thought of her cutting him off after what he did. He knew that she cared about his and his happiness, but he also knew that Belly (and Steven) were the most important thing in the woman's life.
He invited them at the wedding. It was going to be a simple affair on the beach, just him, his partner, their family, and their friends.
He really thought he was going to be without family on one of the most important days of his life. But he wasn't. Steven was there with Taylor, sitting with his friends, and Laurel walked with him to the altar. Next to her, an empty seat with blue hydrangeas.
That day he cried like he never did before, but not a single tear was of sadness.
