Not Alone
So, these last couple days have been incredibly shitty for my mental health. Tonight I decided to write this to help get out my feelings. Please be warned that there is a mention of s*****e and it is a little depressing at the start. But there is a happy ending. Enjoy and stay strong friends. ❤️
Yelena watched as you once again walked right past her, heading straight to your room and slamming the door behind you, laying on your side on the bed and blankly staring at the wall ahead.
You had been shutting yourself away for quite a while now, you concluded that it was best for the entire compound if you just stayed away from them. They probably secretly hated you anyway, why wouldn’t they? You spent the last few days snacking on a few things you had in your room and only briefly leaving to use the bathroom, you always made sure that no one was around before you made that sneaky trip. You cursed to yourself when you came out the bathroom just now to see Yelena.
The two of you were on casual talking levels, but you never had chance to spend time with just the two of you together. You were quick to conclude that it was because she didn’t like you, and left it at that, so didn’t bother trying to be friends with her.
However, Yelena had a completely different opinion on you, her heart sunk when you walked past her as she was on her way to check in on you. She had wanted to be friends with you for a while now, but she had been so busy that she hadn’t had chance. She saw how sweet you were around her older sister Natasha, and wanted to join in on the action, but she knew you were anxious, so didn’t want to push things too far.
She decided to keep going on her mission, and followed you to your room, taking a small breath before knocking on the door, opening it a little.
“Y/N? Hey, it’s Yelena, can I come in?” She asked, her voice soft so she didn’t make you anxious. You simply shrugged in response, not looking away from the seemingly fascinating wall. The blonde didn’t take that as a no and entered the room, sitting on the floor next to you and putting a hand on your arm.
“How are you? I have not seen you in a couple days and we are all getting worried.” She told you, rubbing your arm gently as you rolled your eyes.
“Why? Because they haven’t had my cupcakes for a few days? I doubt anyone has missed my stupid company.” You responded dryly. You were a pretty good baker and everyone loved your cupcakes in particular, you assumed that was probably the only reason they tolerated you.
“You do make a pretty mean cupcake but everyone misses you as an actual human being, it is weirdly quiet without you, uncomfortable, even.” Yelena told you, but your blank expression told her that you didn’t believe her at all.
“That’s hilarious, Yelena. We have barely spoken before now and now you have probably drawn the short straw to come up and pretend to care about me. I bet you are all having a wonderful time without my stupid existence being a burden on you all.” You told her, sincerity in every word, you had a strong belief that everyone put up with you because Natasha had took you in after finding you almost dead in the HYDRA headquarters. Sometimes you wish you were left there to die, at least everyone would be happier.
“What? Nonono Y/N that’s not the case at all.” Yelena told you gently, now holding your hand and squeezing it gently. “Y/N everyone here loves you, and I haven’t tried to get to know you because I know that anxiety is a bitch and you already seem overwhelmed, I did not want to add to it.” The blonde Widow started as she gently brushed your hair out of your face so she could look you in the eyes.
“Not only that, but the vibe around here has been so different, and not in a good way. Your kind, funny and sweet presence has made this place numb, like a ray of sunshine has been whisked away. We’ve been trying to think of what to do for a while and after a lot of persuasion, they let me come up and work my charm on you.” Yelena explained, giving your side a gentle squeeze during the last few words.
Your gazed moved to Yelena as she spoke, you were able to tell that she meant what she was saying. You didn’t realise that you did actually bring something to the Avengers other than doom and gloom. The thought of it made you soften a little, nodding silently in response.
“Sweet Y/N, is there anything I can do to cheer you up? Cookies? Games? Hugs?” She offered, willing to do pretty much anything to help you feel better.
You thought for a moment, remembering the brief squeeze to the side Yelena gave you earlier. You were often the target for random tickle attacks around the compound, and you didn’t necessarily hate it. You saw Yelena get Kate and Peter a few times, and you’d be lying if you didn’t wish you were the one getting tickled by Yelena when you watched the wrecking.
Deciding it would cheer you up, you bit your lip and hesitantly held Yelena’s hand and put it on your side, hoping she would catch on.
Yelena smirked and raised her eyebrows, immediately understanding what you wanted as she started to spider up and down your side. “Oh? Is this what you wanted?” She asked with a teasing grin, jumping up to sit next to you on the bed, adding her other hand to squeeze just above your knee.
You immediately broke into hysterical giggles, nodding in response as you kicked and curled up, not realising that Yelena was always taking notes whenever Natasha or Steve tickled you, so she knew all your worst spots.
“Awww! There’s the giggly Y/N we all know and love!” Yelena teased, smiling brightly as she gently pulled you so you were laying on your back, she gently shook her fingers into your ribs and grinned.
“Ahahaha Yehehehehelenahahahah!” You cackled and arched your back, gently shoving at Yelena’s hands as you squirmed from side to side. The two of you knew that you weren’t using your full strength to try and push Yelena away, so she quickly moved to dig gently under your arms.
“Yessss? What is it little Y/N? Huh?” She asked teasingly, leaning down to blow a tiny raspberry onto your next as her nimble fingers moved to dance up and down your ribs, grinning proudly as she watched your face light up as your giggles continued to pour out.
“NAHAHAHAH RIHIHIHIBS!” You cackled out, squealing as you arched your back and kept kicking out. Yelena just smirked and shook her fingers in swiftly.
“Yes Y/N! I’m already at your ribs, you silly thing! I can go faster though.” Yelena smirked, shaking her fingers in between the bones and up and down them so every single part of your ribs got wrecked by Yelena’s mean fingers.
“OHOHOHOHOH SHUHUHUT UHUHUP!” You laugh, not appreciating her sarcasm as you thrashed around from side to side, squealing helplessly as you proceeded to cover your face with your hands to muffle your giggles and hide your bright smile.
Yelena paused, smirking fondly as she took one of your hands, then the other, grinning as she bit the bottom of your shirt to pull it up, revealing a strip of skin.
“You do not tell me to shut up.” She told you with an evil grin before blowing a huge raspberry on your belly, nuzzling her face in like she’s seen her sister do to you a million and one times.
You screeched with laughter and attempted to kick the blonde Widow away, which simply earned you another raspberry. You shook your head from side to side as you squirmed around in hopes your shirt would fall down over your belly. “YEHEHEHELENA I’M SOHOHOHOHORRY!” You screamed out in one last attempt to get her to stop before your laughter went silent, your body went weak and no longer pulled at Yelena’s gentle hold, which prompted her to let you go and pull you into a hug.
“I guess you are forgiven, young Y/N. You seem to have cheered up enough.” Yelena smiled and kissed your cheek, wrapping her arms around you even tighter and rocking you from side to side to help can you down.
You’re quick to relax into the feeling, loving Yelena’s comfort as you felt close to her for the very first time, and you felt like you could happily glue yourself to her arms forever.
“Thank you, Yelena… I don’t feel like a burden as much anymore.” You tell her quietly when you had recovered enough to be able to talk. The blonde gave you an extra squeeze as she kissed your head this time, rubbing your back gently.
“You aren’t a burden Y/N, ever. You know you can talk to any of us if you feel that way, okay? We all love you and want to be here for you.” Yelena reassured. “You’re not alone.”
Those three words put a small smile on your face, as for the first time in what felt like forever, you didn’t feel as alone. You melted into her touch as the two of you fell into a comfortable silence before eventually settling in your bed and cuddling each other until you fell into a deep sleep.








