#averias

[disventure-rewrite-takes]

Redo because I wanted to edit a few things: I actually like how Alec and Fiore's relationship falls apart in Season 1. I don't really see it as shock factor (honestly he feels like the most predictable choice to be eliminated that episode for both in-universe and out-of-universe reasons) or as Fiore being turned into a one-dimensional character, but rather as the show's villain succumbing to her character flaws of mistrust and selfishness and choosing the game over her friendship with Alec, ruining it in the process. And the cracks in the image of Alec as Fiore's ideal father figure start to show more prominently as he ends up rather pettily throwing the words of her parents back at her.

What I don't like is how their reconciliation is handled. It's sped-run. It starts well enough. The first few episodes set up that there's a rift between them, but then Alec takes pity on Fiore and saves her from elimination a few times and then invites her to his alliance. And then nothing happens between them until the comeback episode where they're all buddy buddy with each other again. Is Alec still mad about Fiore's betrayal? Guess not! Does Fiore, who has a bad relationship with her own parents, have any thoughts on her friend being a shifty father? Guess not! It is utterly baffling how the writers did the bare minimum to get Alec and Fiore back together and I think most people agree that Fiore was wasted as a character.

So, for a rewrite, actually give them an arc where they make up and grow as people instead of shoving their relationship aside. Where maybe Fiore learns to value her friendship with Alec over the game and Alec improves in his treatment of children.

official last batch of asks

[bramblepaws]

To be fair to Sandy when she tries to end the call, she is half-asleep. I also think that is really a conversation they should be having when both people are, you know, fully awake.

i agree! but frankly i’d rather it be happening at a bad time than not at all, and it seems like it’s nigh impossible for Mike to get ahold of Sandy when it’s not a 4 Am Emergency. it would definitely be WAY better for them to talk at a different time, and Mike should have brought this up eons ago before it became an emergency. but im just happy that it’s finally happening dlkndkg

[bittersweetcandybowl]

I'm kind of surprised you actually redid the early parts of the comic, since normally webcomic artists tend to take the approach that it would take too much time and they'd rather spend that time moving forward to new material.

[thewebcomicsreview]

So the first bombshell of the Dumbing of Age timeskip dropped. Thoughts?

That Joyce is atheist (or agnostic or even just non-religious and Sarah is overstating things) now isn’t that much of a bombshell. We’ve seen that Joyce has been feeling disconnected from her religion for a while. It feels big character change to simply gloss over in a timeskip like this, but also we’ve been shown enough context that “and this went on for a few months and Joyce is non-religious now” is fair. I doubt she’s flipped to full on Euphoric Reddit Atheist or anything.

The bigger bombshell is that she’s keeping it a secret from Becky, who is very religious still. In fact, didn’t Joyce raise some anti-religious thoughts around Becky who shut her down? Let me check the archive for all strips with Becky and Joyce both in them (God, the ComicPress archive is so amazing if you actually bother to use them! You can do the same thing on Saffron and Sage, too like this search for pages with both Saffron and Liri, and it’s super easy to set up why doesn’t every Comicpress comic do this)

Ah, that was a dream sequence

But Becky does still believe in God.

And while it would be a funny crazy twist if Becky was super-not-okay with Joyce being an atheist and turned into a radical skateboarding lesbian version of Mary...

Becky is dating Dina who is also atheist and shit-talks religion while standing next to her, so I’d imagine the resolution is that Becky finds out and is hurt that Joyce was keeping secrets from her and maybe they stop being friends and make up at the end of the episode. One of those things, I think.

[samrosemodblog]

Amara is actually my favorite character in The Fate of The Lost Princess because -- well, to be honest, I didn't really find it all that interesting before she came in. I think my biggest problem with the story is that it feels like a lot of other "Person from a fantasy world ends up in the real world and is a fish out of water" stories. Amara is the first thing in the story I'm genuinely invested in, if only because she feels the most unique and I'm not 100% sure where you're going with her.

Yeah, I kind of knew this would be the case, just simply for the fact that I really needed to establish the characters one by one and the world they find themselves in. 

I have a lot of interesting things LIKE Amara planned, but in order for them to land with sufficient interest, I need people to be aware of where things are and what the current stakes are. 

Chapter 1 was pretty much Tina finding herself lost in this world. 

Chapter 2 was introducing Noah and how he fits into Tina’s life.

Chapter 3 was Tina’s ‘Fish out of Water’ experience and having reality catch up with her.

And Chapter 4 is introducing Amara and her role in the story.

When Chapter 5 finally comes around, it’s going to be sitting everyone down and having them all agree where the story is going from here. And that way, Chapter 6 going on will have these characters you’ve all come to enjoy, know their situations, and know their plights, dealing with the reality they’ve found themselves in and how that effects all of their lives. Twists and turns included!

I’m really glad Amara’s been such a big hit, she’s been a ton of fun to write for and she IS one of the main characters (It’s a Trio story after all), though I certainly hope by the end all 3 of the characters can be equally as interesting. 

After all, Amara’s constantly gotta put up with Noah’s himbo energy, and Tina’s shown that there’s more going on inside of her than she letting on but she’s been trained to not show that side of her.

And I do also recognize that it’s not that Amara is the ONLY interesting character so far, as I’ve gotten a lot of compliments over Noah and Tina too, but I do recognize she’s probably the most popular so far and I’m happy for that either way hehe

[disventure-rewrite-takes]

Hot Take: Fiore’s rivalry with Ashley actually had potential. It was actually the most interesting relationship Ashley had and informed a lot of her other relationships, including her relationship with Jake. But in the end all it amounted to was Ashley going: "I'm going to vote out Fiore and get my revenge!" "But not this time." "Not this time." "Okay, now!" *Fiore is voted out* "Ah did it." Literally the most interesting thing that happens, besides the set-up that these two are going to have a rivalry, is when Ashley thwarts Fiore’s attempt to get back in the game by lassoing her to the ground, because then something’s actually happening.

It would’ve been great if they had actually done something with this, because on one level, Fiore’s never quite had a rival before. Enemies, sure, but never someone who could accurately described as a nemesis. It might’ve been fun to see that dynamic.

Or, hell, maybe actually explore the morality of having an evil child for an enemy. How do you handle that? How far is too far? Question if Ashley is actually just in this situation or if she’s simply pursuing vengeance because her pride was wounded? Explore their relationship. Have it end in a different place from where it started or deepen and flesh it out.

In other words, for a rewrite we’d do something with the premise they presented here.

nodding along. this is very good. it felt like a very one dimensional relationship. 'aw boohoo a child hurt my feelings two years ago now im a petty bitch and shes gone yay arc over' does not cut it for ALL STARS.

[disventure-rewrite-takes]

According to the Disventure Camp Episode Insider for Episode 4, it was planned to show some kind of flashback for Ashley's story, but it was abandoned due to budget limitations.

definitely not budget limitations. their original plan was to make ashley the winner, and jared never said they went against this plan because of any budget restrictions. they just decided to throw her character away for jake and his drama.

[disventure-rewrite-takes]

People want the show to explore Lake's attraction to girls, which is fine, but if you want to do that you need to identify a girl for her to be, well, attracted to. So maybe in Season 2 she has an unrequited crush on Rosa Maria.

ooooo i like what youre thinking