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♥ lynxgirlpaws tubmlr ♥

Hey y'all ! Welcome to my silly little tumblr. I uh. I do stuff sometimes, uhm. Feel free to hang around !! . T. There's some info u. under the cut i. if you ca re. Oh ueah if you follow me a. and You're under 18 or don't have an age in your bio,. I'm gonna block you immediately. Like, instantly. Okay thankgs.

Hey!! uh,. so. I'm a Girl [recent update] who . does YouTube . and the doodles. uh. S. So here's that stuff about me I promised!! ♥ I !!! Use She/Her !! I won't die if you use they but y'know. girl. ♥ I am . 18. My birht day is on the 20th of June !! ♥ I live in. Connecticut. ♥ I used to be RamenBoy21 before the whole Girl thing so. If you were wondering where my old blog came from , hi ! I'm here now !! sorry for leaving ! ♥ I am ! African American ! (My Dad's Black and Mom was White [As German as an American can claim to be] for anyone curious. Nein, meine deutsch ist nicht sehr gut. Es tut mir leid) ♥ Oh yeah I'm bisexual! Like. I like people. All the people. Have you ever seen them? People. Prredty /w\ ♥ I am absolputely a girlfailure . Just. Trust me on this. I'm like if they made a girl that really sucks lol Okay. With that out of the way... now for . Uh. Links !!! If you wanna find/support me off of Tumblr! YouTube - I make silly little videos. Currently working on a Friendlocke I did a few months back with some pals, and singleplayer Vic2 stuff but. There'll be more in the future - and there's a lot of old stuff on there so. Feel free to check that out ! SFTV Lounge [Discord] - The silly little discord me and my pals own !! feel free to join . always good to have more cool people in there, y'know? BlueSky - I have not used this in literal months but. I deleted Twitter so like. It's the alternative lol If I make any other social medias I!! will update this!! And... now here's stuff for if you wanna find me here on Tumblr !! Accounts- Firstly,,, my NSFT Alt! - Sorry chat, I'm not gonna be horny on main. But, if you click that link, you can't be mad if I talk about dick or nuts or pussy or boobs. You just cannot be upset. them's the rules Tags- #AskAvie - I couldn't think of a better asks tag. It's alliteration. I'm sorry. You're always welcome to send me asks btw !! #AvieDoodles - Well I can't use RamenDoodles anymore. For reasons obvious in the rant. So... AvieDoodles? It doesn't work as well. But it has to work. I'm never gonna call it drawing properly, that makes it seem way higher quality than it is lmfao #AvieRants - I used to call when I'd ventpost Ramen Rants... so. AvieRants will be an ACTUAL tag you can block. I should come up with better names eventually. So yeah!! That's ! My silly little tumblr page! I. I still don't know how to properly make pinned posts but. This one seems good enough so uh, .yeah!! Hope you enjoy my dumb little corner of the internet! Have a lovely day! ^^

#Pinned Post #AskAvie #AvieDoodles #AvieRants #yeah there we go that's a good enough pinned #:D

that thing bocchi did where she suddenly felt like shit and downward spiraled the second someone would mention a happy topic was so fucking real she was spitting for that

#avierant #avierants #i wanna be so supportive... of all my friens... but i will just start feeling like shit . it sucks.#i try my best . i love you all #my friends #<3

Probably the less pressing of the two brainworms but the most concerning from an outside view probably. This is kinda two sub things actually. Uhh. Self harm chat below the cut. Sorry.

So like. As y'all may know, I . Cut . Well, not really anymore. It's been like a few weeks. But I've got a few (a lot) scars. I personally don't really care. Like, oh no there's some lines on my thighs noooo :/

My issue is... The opposite. While it's weirdly comforting seeing others with scars (even if it's a horny post, I'll stop being horny and. Just wanna give op a hug) I. Have noticed the stupidest thing. Whenever I see... Deeper cuts? I feel like shit. Like I'm somehow a faker. There were times when I was cutting where I seriously started doing it more just because I thought I wasn't doing enough to. Deserve... To self harm? It's like how I can't take punching or biting my tongue or scratching my neck seriously either, like. Those don't count c'mon. Except. Much worse.

I dunno. It's just something that worries me when I rember it. Thought I'd get it out

I. I feel so bad for this one dude I. Okay so, I had a class last year right? It was like a weight lifting class. We'd just go to the weights room and fuck around. But it was mostly the super athletic sporty type. Except for like. Me and one freshman. I mean there was one other dude but he was in football or something so he's basically sporty. Anyways me and this guy would chit chat. He's cool as hell . I think the poor bastard looked up to me, like "woaaah the smart upperclassman" when really I was a fuckin mess. I wouldn't call him a friend since we didn't talk outside of that class. But. Whatever. I think he looked up to me. Ig I was kinda like "hey. Dumbass nerds can make it too lol". I remember him talking about how he liked to play Minecraft & thought it wasn't cool and I was like "dude. I know this dude doing internships with NASA and studying architecture and stuff. Guess what his favorite game is? Minecraft lol" (shoutout dako) like. "Hey lil dude you can make it and keep doing what you enjoy". Anyways... One day we're sitting on the bench y'know. Waiting for class to start... And. Some of my cuts show. I. Like he asks if I'm alright, and I laugh it off and cover my legs you know. But. Looking back on it... That's so fucked. Like, imagine you have a role model. Who's managing themselves and not getting involved in bullshit and smart and funny and. One day you get a peak into the fact that they're a complete fuckign mess. I. I dunno I. Feel bad. Also last night remembering that genuine "are you okay?" Had me fucked up. I. There's not really a point to this just. On my head. In my mind

Anyways that's the self harm part of tonight's rants done. I'm alright tonight to my knowledge, so. Don't worry about me !!!

#avierant #avierants #sorry btw if i havent been chatty lately #I've been trying but #deadass will have like hours and hours in a day where i don't wanna talk to anyone... especially high energy people #like i still will but!!! it will be! a struggle! lol

>do nothing all day >finally start editing >hear my voice >massive self hatred god I fujcking love this

#going on /lgbt/ to look for funnies immediately after didn't help either lmfao #avierant #avierants #again i forgot which is the right one #why the fuck did I have to be the 6'3" fatass with hair that refuses to cooperate that's too lazy to even fix her voice #i can't even be like “my friends will never see me as a woman” bc i don't even have irl friends that COULD not see me as a woman ...#it's so fucking over #I have 13 hours of footage to edit #13 hours of just talking to myself #isn't that great #god i WISH i drank the alcoholic birch beer before snitching on myself... am i stupid?#how the fuck do any of you see pictures of me and still play along with this bullshit? have you fucking seen me? why do you even try #“erm actions make you cute!! how you look doesn't matte-” shut up. actually shut up. fuck off.#ugh #i gotta stop stalling on editing ... .#(girl who has been up 12 hours and will now probably stay up four more so i don't have to stay up for like 20 editing tomorrow)

I have GOT to get more normal about not being good and/or failing at things . I am so used to . just hating when I am not good/amazing at a thing immediately,,, then stopping . I . must learn how to be not good. and also to make mistakes.

#especially in drawing #AvieRants #and socializing also #i have GOT to STOP BEING JUDGEMENTAL of the ME #>:T #[i am doodling and . not doing amazing immediately (obvious cause for surrender]#i already have one lynx drawing in the back that I'm not 100% on so I haven't posted yet ;~;

<- girl who remembered she is not a virgin and has had the first kiss, first hug, first hand-hold and first fuck by the same person on the same night

#aviead #avierants #god i fucking hate remembering this #i mean i've still got like. dick-in-ass virginity but .#god i . regret the night :<#s #the nights #me watching my only friend try to force my dick into his ass after i said i wasn't interested in that and said no repeatedly [he failed]#me watching my only friend tell me after getting me to take off my pants when i just wanted to give head that #“you were tired so I knew you'd go with it”#me watchi- okay that's enough #and the worst part is i'm so lonely i'd probably do it again...#welp! that's enough recollection for tonight!!!!#i've got editing to do!

If i am not productive for 30 whole secomds i will explodr .

#avierant #avierants #i am trying to convince myself to not both draw and voice train right now #at 2:55am #i have 19 hours of footage to get through today ans tomorrow #im so fucking normal

Im like if they made a bitch whos only uswful for her weekly uploaf schedule and her mediocre tits

#avierant #avierants

Probably the less pressing of the two brainworms but the most concerning from an outside view probably. This is kinda two sub things actually. Uhh. Self harm chat below the cut. Sorry.

I dunno. It's just something that worries me when I rember it. Thought I'd get it out

Anyways that's the self harm part of tonight's rants done. I'm alright tonight to my knowledge, so. Don't worry about me !!!

#avierants

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