♪ ✎
♪: I’ve put all of my songs on shuffle- now I have to write a drabble involving our muses with the next song that comes on.
Freight Train; Sara Jackson-Holman
"Hope is fast car, only takes you so far, when you’ve got a lot to learn."
Marcus handed Sydney the keys to his most recent car - one that he’d stolen just so that he could be the one to pick her up - and turned his back on her, half-contemplating canceling the entire trip to Mexico. Was it really necessary he go? Wade and Amelia were both bright people; they could navigate the country without any serious problems. But you’re their leader, an annoyingly responsible voice sounded in his head, and he let out a sigh. He couldn’t bail on them now; he couldn’t turn his back on them when he’d sworn he wouldn’t.
A hot flash of anger shot through him, and he cast a disapproving look back at Sydney who was already turning out of the station. She’d called him and promised him that she were coming, and then she’d bailed at the last second. Her words rang through his head too. “You run away and skulk around. How is any of this actually helping?” Well, at least he knew what she thought of him and his cause. She thought he was useless, a big-talker and nothing more. Perhaps the worst part was that he’d disappointed her. She talked as though she’d expected him to be some kind of life-altering hero, which he wasn’t. And he didn’t claim to be. He was just one person after-all, and it wasn’t like he’d chosen to run away from things. He’d had to. If he hadn’t, he would’ve been brainwashed, and even more useless than he supposedly was now.
Marcus had thought he’d gotten through to her, he’d thought that she’d understood him, but he’d realized when she’d spoken in the car, the understanding was very one-sided. Their relationship wasn’t what it had once been; she might’ve been his little sister, but to her…well, he was just a stranger, a lousy one at that. She had no idea who he really was underneath his facades and his secrets, which caused a dull ache to throb in his chest. The ache of losing his family never went away completely, but over the years, he’d learned to work through it. Now, it felt as though he was losing her all over again, and this time… she wasn’t even going to miss him. The thought of her staying behind for some boy was even more of a slap in the face. Sydney might not have remembered it, but for years, he had been the only boy that had had any place in her heart.
Deep down, a part of him welled with pride at her determination, at her headstrong approach, but he knew that her dreams of a clean and easy route would shatter and crumble right before her very eyes. She had a lot of agonizing lessons to learn, and since she was as stubborn as he was, she was going to have to learn them the hard way, which scared him the most. He’d barely escaped, and if Sydney didn’t… well, he wasn’t sure what he would do if he lost her for good.
✎: For an unsent letter from my muse (May be AU if you want, just let me know what kind of AU you want).
Canon verse. Found hidden in a box under her father’s desk at home. Asshole.
Sydney,
My heart is heavy as I write this, for so many reasons. Perhaps one of the most obvious reasons is that I have no idea how to put what I’m feeling or what I need to say into words. But I’m going to try my best.
I don’t know that you remember me. I’ve heard rumors that the Alchemists have access to spirit users, and that there is no limit to what their compulsion can do. I sincerely hope they haven’t erased me from your memories, but the sinking feeling I have while writing this is suggesting that it will be otherwise.
I wouldn’t have left had I seen another way out. I didn’t want to, believe me, but I can’t keep turning the other cheek. I can’t keep ignoring what’s right in front of me. I hope that by embarking on this journey, I can help create a better life for others trapped like me, and for you. Maybe if I succeed with… well, whatever it is I’m going to do, you can be free. We can be free.
I’m going to miss you terribly. Sure, you get on my nerves, sometimes – okay a lot of the time – but I’m going to miss everything, even that. I’m going to miss playing skee ball (you’re never going to be able to beat me), going out for coffee, talking about books, and everything in between. I can’t imagine my life without you, which is why I intend to come back for you when I can. For a while, my life will be too dangerous, but I promise that when I’m ready – and you’re ready – I’ll come back for you. And we’ll do all of those awesome things again.
I just… I want you to know how sorry I am. I hope that you aren’t too angry with me. If you are, I understand, though I hope that in time you can forgive me. I never wanted to hurt you; I never would, not if it was avoidable. I love you, and I always will love you, no matter what. I only hope that you can regard me that way as well, after everything that I’ve done. I don’t expect forgiveness from Dad, which in turn means I can’t expect it from Mom, not fully. I don’t expect it from Carly or Zoe either, so, I’ve kind of got a lot riding on you. Please don’t let me down. I promise to do whatever I can to make everything up to you.
If you’re resourceful enough to find this box – which I’m sure you will be – I trust that you’re resourceful enough to find me. Although, odds are, I’ve already found you. I doubt I’ll let you out of my sight, even when I’m not around.
Love, your favorite - and only - big brother,
Marcus (Mah-cus)