#003 Codenames
One of the most important things about establishing yourself as a superhero is picking a kick-butt, awe-inspiring, codename. A good name is what separates world-famous-beloved-by-all-even-cranky-old-people heroes from who-are-they-I-never-heard-of-them-and-I’ve-been-on-the-internet heroes. Having cool superpowers means literally diddly-squat (and not in the figurative sense we’re talking literal diddly-squat here) if you don’t have a cool name to go with it; likewise, a cool name can elevate a hero with lamer powers into a household name. Nobody cares if you have the powers to summon time-displaced dinosaurs if you’re going by the name Professor Paleontologist, but a name like Nightron captures the imagination even if your only power is the ability run slightly faster when it’s night time.
When picking a codename there are many things you’re going to want to consider. For starters you want to remember that one of the main reasons to even take a codename in the first place is in order to keep your real identity a secret. So you definitely don’t want to choose a codename that contains references to your actual secret identity real name. That means no using your actual name anywhere in the name (don’t use Nightron if your name is actually Ron, or Night). No making puns based on your name (Professor Paleontologist is especially off-limits for people who like dinosaurs and are named Leon!) And, if you want to really go the distance in terms of protecting your secret identity, don’t even reveal your gender in your codename. None of this Noun-Man or Adjective-Woman or Mr. Who-What or Ms. Where-Why nonsense, if you pull this garbage you’re already disqualifying approximately 50% of the planet, your enemies are that much more likely to find out who you really are.
You also want to make sure your name is easy to pronounce and easy to exclaim in excitement. Keep it short, two words at most, the fewer syllables the better. Alliterative names are a good idea, they’re easy to remember and roll off the tongue well, for the most part. Beware of falling into the tricky tongue twister trap. You want people to be able to say your times five times fast, in the event of an emergency. Rhyming names are also fun and easy to remember. But watch out, rhyming names are especially susceptible to puns and clever word play. Heroes with rhyming names are that much more likely to be made fun of by late night talk show hosts or tabloid magazine headline writers (I imagine there’s just one guy whose sole job it is to come up with clever headlines, I bet he makes good money too.) On the flip-side of that you might want to consider a name that’s easy to rhyme things with. This way people can write odes and ballads about your impressive feats of heroism so that they can be remembered for all time.
Another pit you need to avoid falling into is that of the fraudulent job title. Don’t stick military rankings like captain or general or chief petty officer into your name cuz that’s just opening the door for the full weight of the military to come down on your star-spangled boxer briefs… Not like legally since impersonating a military officer is not a felony but like the army might resent you and say mean things about you to their friends and that is not good for you public image!
When you go about picking your codename you need to do some background research first. To start you’re going to want to make sure that no other crime fighters are already using the name you’ve picked out. You never want to accidentally step on another hero’s toes or hurt their reputation (or let them ride on your coattails) by using the same name as them. Plus, that’s just going to lead to awkward confrontations later when another superhero accidentally sends you an invitation to a new team or a pool party that was meant for the other hero with whom you share a name. You also need to make sure a supervillain isn’t already using that name. If there’s anything worse than sharing a name with another hero, it’s sharing a name with an arsonist or a breaker and enterer or an evil undead zombie witch! You want your name to inspire hope, not fear, and you also want to avoid any confusion with law enforcement or with other heroes who might think that you’re just the villain in a new costume or something. Originality is key.
Not only do you have to make sure you’re not stealing another hero or villain’s name, you also need to make sure you’re not taking the name of any trademarked or highly recognizable product or location. If you’re not careful about this you’re leaving yourself wide open to corporate lawsuits, which can be costly, time consuming, and, damaging to your superheroic image. Nobody is inspired by seeing someone in a cape and mask in court. Honestly you’re probably running the risk of being held in contempt if you show up like that, forcing you to either reveal your secret identity to the court, or be arrested. Neither of these scenarios is something you want. Obviously. The best way to get around any legal hassles is to go with an out of the box spelling of your name. Replace all the c’s with k’s, all the i’s with y’s, throw in some x’s, some z’s, some numbers, turn your r’s backwards like you’re a toy store, go crazy with it. The more outlandish the spelling the less likely you are to run into any of the problems I have painstakingly laid out for you here. And the more hip you’ll be with the youngsters and their texting language. It’s important to be hip with the youngsters.
Once you’ve got a name picked out (heres to you Ny™@R3, the talking nocturnal horse that keeps our streets safe and clean) you’re just about ready to start saving reporters from falling out windows and babies from burning buildings (the babies are inside the burning buildings they are not the ones burning the buildings). After all, the first step to success in any career is making a name for yourself.











