#avpd positivity

[gh0stlymoth]

Wishing all my fellow AvPD havers a fantastic day, reminder to drink some water, get some rest, be kind to your brain, it needs redirection, it needs to relearn a lot of thought patterns, and it's exhausting, but at the end of the day, it only wants to protect you, you deserve a space, relapsing into bad patterns doesn't eradicate the progress you already made, healing is not linear, you deserve to express yourself in whatever way you choose, people don't hate you for merely existing, your friends don't hate you for being yourself, you are not an annoyance, you are worth the oxygen you breathe. I know it's hard, i know it feels like none of this could ever be true, but I am here to tell you it is, it's going to get better, and i am glad you are here. 

[avpdvoidspace]

leaving messages on read isn’t a moral failing. Don’t beat yourself up for it.

A better solution is to be open with your friends about your limitations and difficulties. A good friend will try to understand how avpd works and have compassion for you. If someone takes personal offense to you having symptoms of a personality disorder you didn’t choose to have, especially when you’ve been upfront about it, that’s a them problem.

[avpdvoidspace]

I know so many mental health posts and resources list self isolation as a warning sign that your mental health is getting bad, but it’s okay to use it as a form of self care.

We don’t need to feel guilty about isolating ourselves when we’re overwhelmed. Being social for us can be exhausting. There’s nothing wrong with just chilling in the void for a while until you feel better.

Our coping mechanisms can be good things.

[zella-rose]

there’s a post in my queue about how to have productive arguments (with your parents, even)

and it got me thinking,

dealing with conflict, and talking to people who (perhaps by definition) disagree with you ... is so so hard and so scary

but / and

it gets so much more ... doable, after you’ve had a few successful experiences.

or even observed someone else succeed in standing up for themselves a few times

it becomes conceivable.

and (this is a thing I’m not sure I can put into words)

realizing, even after the fact, even in a very limited way, that you can make things happen

or that you can change things

or that you can take something that has been a looming, oppressive, guilt-ridden Problem in your Life, and turn it into something that is resolved and stable and no longer a source of stress every day

....... is super empowering. (because! literally! you have power! wow, wait, for real.)

so. yes. just putting this out there:

other ways to experience conflict exist

and, even if you never become fully comfortable disagreeing (or confronting or arguing) with someone,

the way that it currently feels to you (overwhelming, terrifying, surrender-inducing)

is not necessarily the way that it will always feel.

(because, we learn! we grow! and new people teach us new things: new relationships, new ways of being, & of feeling.)

things that are hard, are sometimes still worth doing.

because sometimes you can actually influence what happens ... and not be forced to simply tolerate & adapt to how Everyone Else decides it should be.

it is OK to have opinions! and disagree! it is OK to want things. it is OK to show up, and be visible.

even if in the past, you have learned otherwise, I just want to say:

this is your life, and you are allowed to exist in it.