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Every time something I say gets a negative reaction I remove it from the mental container of "things I can say". Which means eventually I will reach zero sayable words. And then I win, roll credits

#avpdposting #avpd #avoidant personality disorder #actually avpd #cluster c #actually avoidant #personality disorder #avoidant

Scientists should invent an existing that is entirely invisible and private and imperceivable to anyone

#I am literally home alone. but I still feel too exposed. what the fuck #I just need to hide in a cave somewhere for maybe 3 years #maybe that would fix me #avpdposting #avpd #avoidant personality disorder #actually avpd #cluster c #actually avoidant #vent-ish

(Pretending to be a real person) yeah I love talking to people. I love social interaction with other members of my species. Conveying meaning to fellow humans through words and sentences is so fun. I voluntarily spend time in the same physical space as another person at least once a week

#can someone knock me out with a frying pan like in Tangled #I hope I never have to speak to another person ever again #why is this so difficult #I'm grinding my teeth like hell #avpdposting #avpd #avoidant personality disorder #actually avpd #cluster c #actually avoidant #vent-ish

AVPD is like every sentence I say makes a [LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER] sound ring inside my head

#described it in this way to my partner yesterday and I think that's my magnum opus of analogies #that is exactly what it feels like #avpdposting #avoidant personality disorder #avpd #actually avpd #actually avoidant #cluster c

Amazing how a single negative experience with someone, a single instance of judgement, criticism or rejection, is enough for me to shut down and avoid them like the plague. Honestly a wonder I have any social relationships at all, I was clearly meant to be a snail, not a human

#oh to be a small terrestrial gastropod retreating into my shell at the slightest perceived danger #vent-ish #sometimes it's hard to go for a joke with those posts #avpdposting #can we do the pandemic again but like just for me without the deaths and all that #i don't think I'm good at this whole being a social creature thing #avoidant personality disorder #avpd #actually avpd #cluster c #actually avoidant

Avoidance as an anxiety response is extremely weird, because, at least for me, it can sometimes feel almost indistinguishable from not caring. Which is so counterintuitive it feels ironic, like I worry so much about this thing that I circle right back to not giving a shit

#I think the difference between avoidance and genuinely not caring is that I usually avoid things that I know will fuck me up so bad #I know that the more I avoid it the more likely it is it will ruin my life. But I still avoid it #particularly *because* I know the potential it has to fuck everything up. I stay away from it because it's the only thing I know #I think the uncaring feeling might just be emotional avoidance to prevent truly grasping how much this can Ruin My Life and panicking #avpdposting #avpd #actually avoidant #avoidant personality disorder #cluster c

Inferiority "complex"? I find it quite simple really

#avpdposting #avpd #avoidant personality disorder #cluster c #actually avoidant

AVPD is like my brain is constantly running a simulation that tries to predict other (hypothetical) people's possible criticisms of every action I take. The simulation is kinda broken so it always returns the worst outcome possible. I can't turn the simulation off. It's trying to predict possible criticisms of a thing I thought about making, that no one would even know about, because I would do it alone in my own house and not show it to anyone. The simulation says everyone would think I'm stupid for it. Everyone WHO you dumb brain machine?????

#avpdposting #avpd #actually avpd #avoidant personality disorder #hell brain FR #read the last sentence in the tone of HBomberGuy's “sell their houses to who Ben???”

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