guys guys ok so I was merrily washing the bathroom because today was cleaning day right and I was like singing and dancing around with the broom because well it's cold as fuck and I had to keep warm somehow ok so naturally I closed the door because I wouldn't risk anyone (my grandma) walking in on me singing at the top of my lungs and dancing all stripper like to Nicki Minaj but because I closed the door and had the music blasting as loud as it goes I didn't see that the water wasn't going down the drain because it's clogged and no one (my grandma) remembered to warn me about it so by the time I realized that the bathroom basically became a kiddie pool of soap and bleach the water was up to my knees and obviously because what is my luck the door wouldn't open because old wooden door plus water equals not good and in my panic it took me like two minutes to realize that I could easily shut the water off thing is that in those two minutes I may have screamed bloody murder because my brain kept reminding me that I can't swim and in my panicked mind the bathroom would fill up with water and I'd die so anyways I come to my senses and shut the water off and then proceed to use all my inexistent strength to yank the door open like I'm talking all my strength which may have resulted in some undignified grunts being released but whatever the point is that when I finally manage to pry the door open is to find not only two of the most beautiful cops I've ever seen in my life about to kick the bathroom door down but also the fire department coming up the stairs because my neighbor heard my screaming and called them and when no one responded to the front door and they heard grunting they burst in so I'm standing there soaking wet from head to toe (because I PANICKED EARLIER AND MIGHT HAVE SPLASHED AROUND A LOT OK) holding the door knob that came out during my attempt to free myself staring wide eyed at the cops and the firemen who were by then also soaked up to the ankles because the water from the bathroom broke free at the same time I did and because I'm me and I have the mind that I do I immediately think OH I'VE WATCHED PORN THAT STARTED KINDA LIKE THIS so of course I immediately start laughing uncontrollably to add to the confusion of those poor men in uniform SO LONG STORY SHORT the fire department unclogged my drain and I made ten new friends today including my neighbor whom I profusely thanked for coming to my aid when I mistakenly thought my end was nigh and all of them laughed until they cried when I told them exactly what happened all while freaking anaconda and freaking pound the alarm blasted on the background so this was my day
