#azeiox

[mayuthemage]

Same and Difference

I spent the evening at Grindstone to support Zero as he fought. And fight he did. He moved quickly and his fights were short. Often he waited and I stood with him as we determined who his next opponent would be. Serethis told me over the linkpearl he wanted to see me after. Fortunately I heard him out and about with others from conversation on the Rose Linkpearl. I was glad he was about. Though, I was a little disappointed I wasn’t cheering him on here as well. Zero ended up winning his bracket at the Bridge but lost to the Rock champion. It was a shame as the man was very rude.

I went to see Serethis after and he took me to the beach in Costa del Sol. It had become a favorite place of his to take me. I have enjoyed it each time even if my mind has wandered to the dark. We talked and he explained his worries and I asked mine. He told me that they were one person and that sometimes one took over the other at times but in all they were just one person. I was content with that answer. But also, to go with this new change and that he was neither Serethis or Azeiox, he wanted a new name.

Alzein Chevalier.

I can actually say that one. So I am not opposed. I could never say Luchiervent. It was difficult for me. But now we’ve come to a better understanding of what is going on and that is what matters.

[mayuthemage]

Contemplation and Life

I have been in my state of contemplation for days now. Each fleeting moment feels as if it is merely a dream. As if I am observing but not truly present. It makes my head cloudy, my eyes feeling foggy. Nothing seems to truly be in focus. Though I do what I always do. Take it one day at a time. I support my husband. I do my job. I make time for those who need me. I take care of myself. But then, it seems as if something seems off. I knew what it was when Serethis went to see Dash, to show her what had become of him. Of how he was a blend of Azeiox now. But now, I’m wondering if he is a blend or not.

The context is simple really. Sako likes to go out as a masked wrestler. No one is to know who he was. I knew. Zero knew. But not many did and Serethis was one of them. Sako mentioned his pass time between the four of us and I had to let him know that Serethis didn’t know. But what Serethis said next took me off guard. “I knew. He didn’t.” I have thought on these words since then. What... happened to my husband? I did care about Azeiox and I always will. I took much care to separate that Serethis and Azeiox were two different people over the time we’ve been together. I came to the conclusion that Azeiox really loved Yuki, an apprentice of mine, over me but a love to a miko is forbidden. I took great care to make sure Serethis knew that I never expected him to be Azeiox. That I loved him and I had married him not Azeiox.

What happened to my husband? What happened to Serethis? Is he still in there? I pray that he is a part of this person before me other than his body.

I was brought out of my thoughts quickly as Dash decided she was ready to give birth. She had taken the whole reuniting with Azeiox very easily. With a graceful stride that simply befits her. But as she got up and announced she was going to have Stein induce her. She wasn’t going to wait until she popped. (Which mind you could have been within the week) So, Serethis and I were dragged off to the Infirmary to meet Stein. We were there to help with support as Madame Red arrived and as did others of her family. I felt oddly out of place there but I observed and assisted. I healed her up once all was said and done but the body was exhausted and a new baby girl was in the world. The little Miqo’te girl named C’sandra and in a sense, my new niece.

[mayuthemage]

Shaking Hands

I sat in the living room. The images playing before me over and over again. I did not wish to do this but I needed to if I was going to save him. I saw it. I saw every last bit and the first time it was the worst. I did not want Serethis to see me so I had waited for him to go to work. It was better that way. He would want to protect me from it, turn it off. But if I’m going to make sure he’s going to stay alive I need to watch it. I need to relive it.

I don’t feel it like I did. I remember it and I feel a phantom feeling of the blade going through my gut but it was never there. My eyes watching as Azeiox pulled himself more to the blade, cooling it to prevent me from hurting. Even then he worried on how I would feel. It is now I see the look on his face. He knew he wasn’t coming back. Despite us speaking of a future together. Despite all of it, he wasn’t coming back and he knew it in that second and look of sadness in his eyes. The bits of regret but peace... and it just made my heart hurt to see it. My hands shook and I had to set the mask down, allow it to just play. I watched as he held Relis to him to keep her from escaping. I watched as each Rune on the star activated and I can hear my screams. I see as the flash of shadow pierces through them both. I see as they both fall to the ground. I see as I abandon my mask in the grass and I see me rush to him. I see Nick there and I grow angry. I remember how he got upset that I wished to be with the one I loved in his dying breathes. I see Tenha’a give him a kiss on the forehead in good bye. And I see me trying to heal him but now I can see the aether moving together like oil and water. His body could not be healed. His body was already too far gone. I see the blood on my hands and I look down and I can see the images in the very seconds I sit there. I see his last breath and me going to Matthias for comfort.

I feel the pain all over again and I clutch at my chest. I don’t remember it hurting this much but it tears open like a scab and a fresh wound but I did not see what I needed and I played it again. Each time it hurt but the longer I watched the more numb I became and the less tears that welled in my eyes. I watched it over and over and over looking for what I needed. I needed to see it for sure. What. Went. Wrong? But it wasn’t the rune. It was just the nature of the creature. He held on like the parasite he was and he held to Azeiox’s soul and disappeared to what I now know as going to Serethis. I searched for flaws. I searched for anything. I even... could not help but search to see if there had been ways to save him. But even then, there was nothing and it was already too late.

I don’t remember how many times I watched it. The images are burned in my mind that I could recall it even more so now that it isn’t a blur. But even as the last image played and the last time I let it play, my hands still shook and my heart will always ache.