#b;speak

[bxhn]

⁇

Send ⁇ for a worried text

[ sms > wrong number ] hello..? are you even still alive? listen to me, damnit. tell me where you are now. [ sms > wrong number ] i don't know what kinda joke you think it is to not let me help you out when i LITERALLY SAW YOU getting into some kind of altercation but fine.. let yourself get killed.. it's not like i care. [ sms > wrong number ] i'm tracking your cell. thank you, find friends app on iphone. [ sms > wrong number ] this is... the totally wrong person.. isn't it.

[bxhn]

☏

Send ☏ for a vague text

[ sms > wrong number ] so are you coming tonight or not? things are gonna get busy; lots of people. i gotta know if you're bringing the shit we talked about or not. the show can't go on without it, you know.

[bxhn]

♔

Send ♔ for an angry text

[ sms > wrong number ] are you fucking kidding me? i ask you not 1, not 2, but 3 times to stop leaving your goddamn used condoms in that one bathroom of the bar, but what do you do? you do it again. i do NOT need your stds and whatever god forsaken bacterial or viral creatures or whatever the hell lives in your genitals to get anywhere near my workplace. also, why someone would even wanna do anything even remotely close to sexual with you is absolutely fucking unfathomable. so please. do us all a favor and just stop even doing anything that could possibly result in offspring getting your genes for stupidity. please.

[bxhn]

[ text ] The text was meant for my room mate as a joke, of course. I'll double check next time, one wrong digit makes a difference. Don't send your nudes. [ text ] Thanks for the gold star though.

[ sms > unknown ] Aw, damn.. you sure you don't want nudes? Glad you appreciated the gold star, though. 

[bxhn]

[ text ; wrong number ] You climbed the fence and then started crying because you were scared of hamsters, I really don’t know what you took, but you need a babysitter

[ sms > unknown ] Huh? Listen man, you got the wrong number. I promise I'm not scared of hamsters. I had one when I was younger. It was a cute thing, too, orange and fuzzy. [ sms > unknown ] Really, though, I hope you find whoever did that. Sounds like they need some.. assistance of some sort.

[bxhn]

[ text ] Oh fucking great. Another wrong number. [ text ] I promise you I'm not an old pedophile, but first day back on the job and the boss has hired this nutcase. Please save me. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

[ sms > 'bird call dude' ] All right, all right, chill. I'll call ya, just gimme a sec. 

Baekhyun’s eyes scan over the stranger’s text message a few times, chuckling quietly to himself at the situation. With his free hand, he reaches for the TV remote, turning the volume down so when he finally calls the other, he’ll at least be able to hear the stranger’s voice. Moments later, he presses the ‘call’ button, waiting patiently to hear the voice of the person in the, well, rather strange situation.

[bxhn]

[text] send me a picture and i’ll be home quicker ;) [text] DO NOT READ THE LAST MESSAGE IT WASN’T MEANT FOR YOU

[ mms > unknown ] attachment [ sms > unknown ] You should reaaally double check who you're sending these things to, you know. I could send you nudes right now and you'd be stuck there with a stranger's nudes. 

[bxhn]

[text] I think I’m a mermaid

[ sms > unknown ] Is there some sudden mermaid outbreak..? Because you're the second person that texted me this. Have you got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty? Have you got whozits and whatzits galore? I want thingamabobs, I hear you've got twenty. [ sms > unknown ] But who cares. No big deal.