#b+tb

[acepolish]

Kaela: *says a shitty pun*

Lily: *gasps* *heart eyes*

Keith, done: I want to die.

[conformityvictim]

It’s not like Beauty and the Beast takes place in France or nothing....

Gaston: She has that sort of

Le Fou: je nais se quoi?

Gaston: I don't know what that means.

[acepolish]

hey stop scrolling

keith/lily's broship name is hoshiflick

thank you now you may continue scrolling.

[acepolish]

kaela is a-spec lesbian no i will not elaborate on that

[conformityvictim]

Beauty and the Beast: To Watch or Not?

Spoilers Ahead

Cons:

- wtf is with the begger woman's entrance? like, that's NOT how you darken the royal family's door. Magical or not - YOU DON'T JUST BARGE OPEN THE DOOR.

- what is this 'in the middle of the village' crap? No, there was a reason that Belle and Maurice lived on the outskirts. It emphasized that they were 'out'-casts. {hahahah GET IT?!] Yes, they have a garden - I don't give a crap. WTF is this in the village crap?

- Emma Watson can sing - great! why are we hearing a recording studio and not a girl walking in a village?

- where's my 'generous bookshop' man scene? Why is she just borrowing another book?

- 'Her nose stuck in a book'....right when she's buying a cupcake, looking DIRECTLY at the saleswoman. Right boys....

- Speaking of which, why isn't Belle reading ALL the time? Yes, walking and reading is hard but - hey! you're on a set. Choreography is a thing on a set.

- Uhm....Camera man? Pick a distance? A close-up can show the crowdedness of the small village. A long shot also has the same effect. This middle-shot shit you're doing - uh-uh, it don't work. It has pauses and slow pacing and it's just awkward.

- "Good book?" "I haven't read it?" Uhm...then how do you have a favorite part? How do you know what happens in Ch. 3?

- Uhm....where's my 'No Matter What'? I was told this was broadway on-screen, not just the animated soundtrack made live. Where's my broadway???!!!

- Ok, spilling her laundry? Just straight-up dick move. That's it, just dick move. I got nothing more to say on that other than dick, dick, dick-ish move.

- You don't just throw chicken feed, I'm pretty sure. Farmer-side of tumblr, can you tell me if the Chickens should be afraid of her or not? I mean, she nearly stepped on them before.

- You just ran off to be dramatic. That hill is not right outside your door - you just ran a mile + for the aesthetic.

- Why is there just a stable and hay just lying there...what up?

- That horse has run for a very...very long time. Not really a con, just something I noticed.

- WTF with those staircases? Somebody's got a stair-kink.

- Uhm...that's easily escapable. Okay, not EASILY, but Belle and Maurice are smart. They could VERY MUCH escape that.

- Hi! Uhm...easy explaination of the West Wing. "The West Wing is forbidden." "What's in the West Wing?" "Those are the Master's private rooms. It'd be very rude to intrude on his privacy." DONE!

- Where's my 'Home'? I hear you playing in the background - don't you run away from me.

- You don't just crawl out of a crinolin. There's wires and shit.

- Belle just marched off to the window - why is she huddling in the corner??? She  ould be working - this scene makes no sense.

- 'Be Our Guest' has been re-titled 'Belle never gets to eat'

- Emma...Emma, I know everything in front of you is CG, but hon...try and show some emotion?? Please??

- We're just....LETTING her walk on her own. Even though we SEE HER LOOKING AT THE WEST WING, WE'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING???

- Why does Cogsworth have a whistle? Why does a clock have a whistle?

- So....Belle knows about the curse. That's not, like, an important scene the audience would've liked to see.

- Oh, Hi! Experiencing sympathy because both of your mothers are dead. Hello, more evidence of Stockholm Syndrome. [point of fact: I am in the boat of Beauty and the Beast is NOT stockholm syndrome. If anything, it's Lima Syndrome]

- What is this music? Uhm...if you were gonna make your own musical, you could've told us. We would've been OK with that. What are you doing movie?

- Where are Chip's siblings??? The other cups and saucers??

- If Beast hasn't gotten up, how did you get a shirt on him?

- Why is Beast just wearing clothes now? Just...Abby wants an explanation.

- Uhm....where are the Beast’s fangs??? I mean - he had OBVIOUS fangs in the first scene. Where are the fangs???

- Ok, I know you're not including broadway songs, but COME ON - Human Again was cut from the MOVIE! you could've included Human Again!

- Again, it's not like we would've LIKED TO EXPERIENCE BELLE LEARNING ABOUT THE CURSE!!! Obviously, she finds out about it!

- Who ti fuck is Agatha?

- Also would've liked to see Beast trying to flirt, exploring the castle, BELLE AND BEAST ACTUALLY INTERACTING!!!

- Obligatory post about the dres - Point of fact: I don't think the dress is TERRIBLE - I think it's pretty. But it's not BELLE's dress. Like, Disney, I'm sorry - but Belle's dress is ICONIC. Like, even more than Cinderella, since she has so many incarnations.

- Why couldn't you just say that you'll come back? Like, I see you trying to. Why didn't you just say that?

- what is this 'Forevermore' crap? You guys had 'If I Can't Love Her'. It's awesome - just use that.

- Also - hi! You're singing from the rooftops - literally. How are you NOT belting at the top of your lungs? What is this flat and quiet stuff?

- Uhm....okay. Let's just shoot Beast right off the bat.

- Ok! We're shooting him THREE TIMES APPARENTLY [wtf?]

- Uhm...this woman is just walking through and NOBODY IS POINTING HER OUT???!! Also, wtf are you? why do we care about you?

- Boy! That was an anti-climatic transformation scene.

- And we're apparently saying nothing. Just like every other Disney fairytale......

Pros:

- Sarcastic Beast is BEST BEAST!!! I love him, he is now my favorite.

- Le Fou is also my child now. Redemption arc - ho!

- One of Gaston's men finding he feels pretty in a dress. Yes child - blossom and be all the pretty <3

- Audra McDonald - yes. Just yes.

- Phobos is Maurice. Yesyesyesyesyesyes.

- Belle asking Beast to grow a beard