#babey rants

[adhbabey]

I think people need to understand that the inability to work, is the inability to work well, not necessarily the inability to work at all.

Like for me? Yeah, I can probably work. But can I work enough to complete my job everyday? No. I'd probably get fucking fired, because I cannot complete things everyday.

Think about people who need mobility aids, can they walk without mobility aids? Probably. Can they walk without mobility aids, without a lot of pain and struggle? No.

So if you hear people talking about being unable to work, they mean they are not consistent, easily stressed, unable to complete tasks, unable to go to work or go everyday, etc. It's not always not having to work because they can't do anything, it's usually because they can't do it enough to working standards.

So please stop attacking disabled people for "being lazy", we're not lazy, we just cannot function enough to maintain workflow. It's not our fucking faults.

[adhbabey]

Im so sad the queer community is always so divided. It's the lesbophobia, then it's the biphobia, then it's the bi/pan discourse when yall are supposed to be both mspec. Then it's the aphobia, like man, how many do we have to say it? It's still queer even if you don't like anybody. And then it's the transphobia, drop the T? Really?? Then, it's inter-trans discourse like transmedicalism, transmisogyny, transandrophobia/transmisandry, all of those are equally bad!!! They really are!!! And then you get to folks like me, who have to deal with enbyphobia/exorsexism, like buddy, pal, there's no right or wrong way do to gender, there really isn't and you better shut the fuck up already. AND THEN THERE'S EVEN MORE!!! Intersexism!!! Intersex isn't inherently queer, but for many, it is very queer!! And for people to go on and say that doesn't matter is incredibly appalling. Intersex people are having it really bad right now, and nobody is willing to listen!!

So, let's stop. Let's stop alllllllll of this. Queer discourse is ALWAYS stupid!! There are even things I did not mention here. There's no wrong way to be, so SUCK IT UP!!! And be more fucking accepting. HOLY SHIT.

[adhbabey]

I've noticed a lot of people unfollowing me lately after I posted NPD positivity and support.

Well, I'm someone with a stigmatized disorder too, Dissociative Identity Disorder. And I honestly see all of us with stigmatized disorders in the same boat, whether it be personality disorders, dissociative disorders, bipolar or other mood disorders, schizo-spectrum disorders, etc. I see all of us in solidarity, even if I don't have every single disorder that I support.

So if you can't handle that, if you choose to see everyone with a stigmatized disorder as an enemy, if you see us as lesser or as dangerous, just unfollow me completely. My blog isn't for you just because you can "accept" less stigmatized mental disorders and not other ones.

I hope all trauma survivors who stand by the term of "narcissistic abuse", know that you make a mockery of those of us with severe trauma. You make a mockery of the trauma community in general, and you are a fool. How dare you? When you never faced jack shit in comparison to what some of us had to face. If you can't accept that people develop painful and difficult disorders due to trauma, especially childhood trauma, then you know nothing about what it means to be supportive to other trauma survivors.

How dare you treat other trauma survivors like this? Its fucking pathetic. And you say someone like me knows nothing about being abused? I literally have dissociative identity disorder, you know, the one caused by prolonged childhood trauma? Not only that, it's polyfragmented, meaning I have several layers of trauma that causes me to split more alters on average. And you say I know nothing about what it's like to be abused? You're pathetic and ignorant of the struggles of other trauma survivors and it shows.

All of you say that you have empathy, that you're empaths, but yet you won't share a shred of empathy to anyone who you deem as bad, just because they have unpalatable symptoms? Its fucking hypocrisy. Get a grip and give me a fucking break. You have it bad? Go fuck yourself if you're using your abuse as an excuse to enact ableist abuse and harassment onto others. My blog will never be for you. Give me a fucking break.

[adhbabey]

I do not care. I do not care if it's to prevent shit. Make it an option. Make it a fucking option for people like me.

Y'all never had a panic attack taking medication and it shows. Y'all never convulsed uncontrollably and cried. Y'all never picked the pain of sickness and infection over not taking meds, because you couldn't fucking take it. I have. I have just chosen not to take medication when I desperately needed it.

Make medication more accessible. Make it easier to take. I don't care if it's to prevent overdose. Y'all never experienced restraint and abuse, being forced to take shit and it shows.

[adhbabey]

yknow what, I'm gonna make a fun post about my identity and I wanna talk about shit I'm tired of.

So basically, I am someone who's young looking, sounds young and dresses cutely, and likes cutesy things, and I'm fucking sick and tired of people acting like I, and other people like me, are catering to fucking pedophiles. No the fuck I am not and even if I was associating my shit with kink, I'm still not fucking pedo-bait.

Like, I've seen so many, many people act like any girl or feminine person who likes creepy cute things or just cute things for that matter, are inherently catering to shit that they didn't fucking consent to. Like artists such as Melanie Martinez, get fucking written down as for shit for pedophiles, and I'm fucking tired of people putting labels on people like us, just because our identities may be associated heavily with childhood or innocence or even fucking pink.

I'm a disabled person, and I definitely lived life not reaching developmental goals as soon as other people. I still can't drive a car, I still live with my family, I still haven't had sex, I definitely didn't start wearing more adult clothes until later, I was overprotected and sheltered to the point that I didn't start knowing what swears meant until I was older. I have all my life been associated with being younger or more innocent or more childish, and you're fucking telling me that I can't make that part of my identity or else I'm fucking catering to pedophiles? Fuck you.

Even if it was a kink thing, even if people were calling their boyfriend Daddy or their girlfriend Mommy, or wearing collars and cat ears, or dressing up like anime girls and doing fucking roleplay, even if they wanted to be tied up in fluffy pink handcuffs, who the fuck do you think you are to label them like that? To act like they're too fucking taboo and too fucking weird and cringe and shit, to even grace their goddamn presence to you.

I feel fucking stunted in life, I didn't feel like a fucking adult when I was 18. I feel like my fucking childhood was wasted on trauma and being disabled. I wanted to fucking kill myself at 12 years old. So what gives you motherfuckers the right to label other people as people who want to fucking violate themselves for predators?!

I feel more violated by these words that condescend me and patronize me and attack me, than I do just existing how I normally do. If I want to wear dresses and frilly socks and mary janes and meow, I will fucking do it and its not your right to judge me on that.

And before anyone comes here and says "well it triggers me because I have childhood trauma", well so do I, motherfucker. You can curate your online experience, but you can't harass people like me, who act way too young for their age, because they can't fucking help it, or maybe they just fucking want to be like this.

[adhbabey]

It genuinely drives me up the wall that people will try to say why self dx is bad and caveats on why people aren't allowed to self diagnose and yadda yadda.

And all I have to say to that is, you don't know what it's like.

If you haven't experienced the amount of ableism one can have by not being diagnosed, and people just forcibly give you so much imposter syndrome to last a life time, then you don't know what it's like.

And yes, most disabled people I've met, whether professionally diagnosed or not, know what it's like. Because people don't punish you just because you aren't diagnosed, they punish your disabled traits and make you feel like shit, like you aren't good enough. Anyone with "disabled traits" can experience this.

I don't know why people have privileged and ignorant takes like this then. I can understand people being bitter, but not people gatekeeping just because they had the privilege of being diagnosed. Like it's an "I'm better than you, I deserve more because I went through this legitimately." They don't understand that everyone with any disabled traits gets treated like this.

I'll tell you a story of mine, in middle school, I had a hyperfixation about something, something cute, something simple. And I still have that hyperfixation to this day. But I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD in middle school, I was basically left to fend for myself on this factor, people tried helping me, they just didn't know what the issue was. So anyway, I was horrendously harassed and bullied for my hyperfixation, all my harassers said they would "kill" and "eat" it, they would harm my thing if they had the chance. It was ingrained in my mind that they would hurt it. It makes me nauseous thinking about it. I have a trigger now, because of it. Almost all my memories of middle school are gone because of the harassment. Just because I had a silly, cute hyperfixation/obsession. Just because I had this "disabled trait", even disabled people bullied me. One of my harassers had autism, another had ADHD. I was an easy target.

I don't proudly wear my scars on display, I'm not disabled for internet clout, I'm just a human being, who deserves respect, just like any other human being.

So, you don't get to tell me that undiagnosed people don't struggle, we have, we do. I've been diagnosed officially now, but no one has to justify or explain it to you. You are not entitled to disabled people's life stories and struggles, whether or not they're diagnosed.

So, don't pull your "I'm officially diagnosed" card at undiagnosed people, don't gatekeep or dictate them, don't be shitty people to them. I don't fucking care if you don't think they're valid. They will always be fucking valid to me.

All disabled people deserve respect, especially the ones who don't have the same privileges to get diagnosed.

[adhbabey]

I'm just gonna say it, it's extremely fucking cringe if you replace "pride" with "awareness" for more stigmatized disorders and it's not fucking fair. It's not like we're comparing disorders with queer identities. We're having pride in our disabilities/disorders.

Disability pride is there for a REASON. Mad pride is there for a reason! Dyspunktional, cpunk, madpunk,, all of that is there for a reason.

Don't let people insinuate otherwise. Don't call it selfish that those with serious or stigmatized disorders, such as personality disorders, like their disorder pride.

Suck my dick if this offends you. This should NOT be offensive.

[adhbabey]

Y'know what, I'm fucking tired of hearing "this is what boys will be boys should mean" or some shit like that. What if *I* wanna be one of the boys? Why'd you gender this just because there's two guys in this video? Bro. It makes me so fucking upset. I don't care if it's the boys, it's me too, and you just ruined my fucking day.