The Bachelorette Australia Recap S2 E12 – FINALE
Wow – here we are! The final episode! Who will win Georgia’s heart? Probably Matty.
But first, let’s recap the final two for the people who haven’t been watching the whole season. Seriously, who tunes in to the final episode without watching any of the season? The recap goes for about ten hours and basically, they’re both great, but she likes Matty more. We know this, because WE’VE JUST WATCHED THE WHOLE SEASON. Georgia says that she can’t imagine her life without Matty in it. If that’s not confirmation, what is?
- Side note: In the flashback of the first episode, Matty gives Georgia a mix tape. How come we’ve never heard that mix tape? Could it be that he didn’t really make one and it was just a prop?
In present day, the two boys enter a plane separately, but they both sit on opposite sides, so you know it’s the same plane. What, are we supposed to believe they flew to Singapore separately? The budget doesn’t stretch that far, guys.
Georgia sits in the Singapore sunshine contemplating her life, when Georgia’s dad and her sister Katie arrive. Unfortunately, Georgia’s mum can’t make it as she’s unwell, and Georgia seems quite upset about this because she always asks for her mum’s advice. However, her mum has recorded a video message. She tells Georgia to follow both her heart, and her head, and tells her how much she loves her. I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING.
Shattering us down to reality, Dad says in the broadest Australian accent, “Well, there we are. That was a nice message, wasn’t it?”
- Side note: I think it’s a really typical Dad/male Australian thing to want to downplay the moment like this. What’s that about?
Georgia sets Dad and Katie up to meet her chosen two, saying, “The guys I’ve met have been so unbelievable.” *Cough-Sam-cough*.
Then this happens:
Georgia: I want your opinion.
Dad: (Laughing) You haven’t listened to my opinion in your whole life.
Georgia: (Laughing) Well maybe that’s why I’m here and single.
Katie: Maybe that’s why we got stuck with some of them for as long as we did.
…
Man, Katie’s spouting some home truths. Way to ruin the mood. She says she’s got a lot of questions to ask of the boys, so let’s get to it.
Matty Meets the Family
Matty is the first sacrifice. He says he hopes he gets a chance to meet Georgia’s mum in the future, and it’s very sweet.
Talking-Head-Matty admits that location plays an important factor in a relationship: “Right now I’m in Sydney with my sister and Georgia’s in Melbourne.” With his sister is right…there’s definitely a weird relationship going on there.
Matty is introduced to Dad and Katie, and it’s relatively uneventful.
Talking-Head-Katie’s making the thoughtful observations, saying that Matty is handsome and tall, “which is nice for Georgia.” What does that even mean? Surely everything he is is nice for Georgia, given she’s the one who would be with him.
Katie asks how old he is, which number child he is, how he is with cats (remember Georgia has a cat THAT HAS ONLY BEEN MENTIONED ONCE BEFORE). But the real bombshell is when it’s revealed that Matty is from Sydney. Uh oh, Dad’s not happy. It’s time for their one-on-one time.
While Matty and Dad walk to their secret alone-time spot, Matty slips and asks Dad when he “flies back to Sydney…Oh, sorry, Melbourne.” It’s a strange moment, but telling that the producers have included it, because remember how these two don’t live in the same city? You bet it’s going to be a problem.
Dad and Matty have their secret chats. Dad doesn’t pull any punches when he says that Georgia’s mum being sick would influence her decision, and that they want Georgia in Melbourne for the foreseeable future. Matty wants long distance with the view to relocate to Melbourne, but Dad’s not buying it.
Talking-Head-Dad thinks that Matty says he’ll move to Melbourne but doesn’t get the feeling his heart is in it. He says, “He knows the right things to say, but I get the feeling I’m not seeing the real man.” Man, Dad takes no shit.
While the new boy duo is bonding, Georgia and Katie get some time to have some private chats. Katie reluctantly says that she doesn’t get a great vibe from Matty. But haha lols she’s totes kidding, how hilarious! Sigh.
Then the boys come back, and then that’s it, it’s time to say goodbye to the family. Wait, really? I hope Georgia gets more time to speak to her family about this, because this was over so super quickly. Is it just me, or was this so much quicker than every other “meet the family” sequence? They asked him, like, two questions.
Anyway, we’re moving on apparently.
Lee Meets the Family
Lee Volunteers next as tribute.
He tells Georgia he’s sorry her mum isn’t there, while they hold hands weirdly half in the air.
Lee is introduced to Dad and Katie, and it’s relatively uneventful.
Dad thinks the body language is very “touchy-feely” and that there’s more of a connection there. Thanks, Dad, for your commentary on their sexual chemistry.
Lee says again that he hopes he has the pleasure of meeting Georgia’s mum soon, in front of the family this time so everyone knows what a great guy he is. He also mentions Melbourne a billion times.
Talking-Head-Katie says she’s getting a vibe that he’s very smooth and is worried Georgia’s getting a bit swept-up with Lee: “He’s saying the right things, and he knows he’s saying the right things.” So basically Katie feels about Lee like Dad feels about Matty. Sigh. This isn’t very helpful, you guys.
But it’s ok because Katie is going to give Lee an interrogation during their one-on-one time. Geez, she’s very intense. She says, “You’re coming across quite articulate and like you have feelings for Georgia. You are quite smooth and know the right things to say.” She then asks how he feels about Georgia. Oh my God, Katie, you can’t just ask people how they feel. (Reference, anyone?)
After a minute of fumbling about, Lee finally tells Katie that he’s falling in love with Georgia. “Once I said it, everything felt right.”
- Side note: Why does Lee keep saying “your sister” to Katie? Why can’t he just call her Georgia? It’s like how Trump can’t say the names of women he meets, it’s all “her” and “she” and “my wife”.
Talking-Head-Katie doesn’t hold back when she says she thinks Lee is “ingenuine” (not a word, Katie) with his feelings. Ouch. She questions why he hasn’t told Georgia he loves her yet, forgetting for a moment that Lee’s only spent about 20 minutes in total with Georgia and has been competing against other guys.
Before he can even get the seat warm back with Dad and Georgia, Lee is off. That’s it, your ten-second meeting is up. Nice to meet you both, thanks very much, see you later.
While Georgia is walking Lee out, Dad and Katie discuss:
Dad: You’re more vocal than me. Maybe you should do the talking
Katie: Oh, so she can get angry at me?
Dad: I’ll play peace-keeper.
Nice one, Dad.
Georgia returns to see what they think of Lee. Katie ums and ahs. For someone who’s not held back in saying they’re tough and forthright and not afraid of saying the hard things, she sure isn’t very forthright in this moment.
Katie says, “Ultimately it’s your decision.”
Georgia rolls her eyes, and says, “Yeah, but I’ve brought you here to ask you.”
Katie says, “We’ve had such a short period of time with both of them.”
Georgia says, “Yeah, but what we have is all we have. Who would be a better fit for me?”
Katie says, “I can’t give you an ‘A’ or ‘B’ answer.”
Georgia says, “I need you to. I’m asking you to. Who can you see sitting around our dinner table?”
Katie says, “Both.”
I swear, if Georgia doesn’t flip a table soon, then I’ll do it.
Katie eventually admits to Georgia that she thinks Lee is a little bit smooth. Talking-Head-Katie expands, saying that she doesn’t think Lee is as natural as Matty, and that Matty is the front-runner for her. God, Katie, just marry him already.
Dad finally pipes up and straightforwardly says to Georgia that Lee is his favourite, because he doesn’t think Matty would move from Sydney.
Well, what a gigantic waste of time in asking them out here. One likes Matty; the other likes Lee. We need a tiebreaker. Thankfully, after this scene was filmed, Georgia called Osher and asked if it was too late to make the boys fight to the death.
The Final Date with Matty
Because her family were bloody useless in helping her make a decision, poor Georgia has to choose the love of her life on her own. To help her do this, it’s very important that she has an extravagant final date with each of the boys.
Matty is first, and they’re going somewhere secret. All I see are bells. Oh, they’re at the Bell of Happiness. Of course they are. Georgia explains the tradition that if two or more people ring it together, it brings everlasting peace and happiness. You can then write a message on a little bell and hang it so it’s in the Bell of Happiness forever. This actually sounds amazing and very romantic and I want to go immediately.
They joke about going deaf from the bell and mishearing each other and man she really loves him, doesn’t she? If this isn’t a winner’s date, I don’t know what is. They mush a billion times.
Their next stop is something adventurous. Read: a zip-line.
Speaking of which, I’ve seen a couple of people Tweet about this and I totally agree - why do you have to be adventurous and love adrenaline to be considered worthy of the Bachelor/Bachelorette? I couldn’t think of anything worse than zip-lining. My date to test if a guy would be the one for me would be: What movie do you pick for us to watch, what’s your favourite type of chocolate, and what’s your McDonald’s takeaway order? I think I could make a pretty good judgement based on that. But is it wrong that two of the questions are food-based? Also I’d see how Sam appreciated his lap, and if said man would go out of his way to not disturb Sam while he’s asleep on his chest, so that’s something.
Matty and Georgia decide to race and joke about if one wins, they have to give the other kiss at the end. They both seem really natural and like they’d be happy together.
SIGH. FINE. MATTY J, YOU’VE DONE IT. I’M WON OVER, OK? I THOUGHT YOU WERE ANNOYING AND WEIRD, AND I WAS GOING FOR LEE, BUT YOU’RE ACTUALLY PRETTY NICE. AND GEORGIA SEEMS THE MOST NATURAL AND HAPPY AROUND YOU. I KNOW YOU’RE PROBABLY GOING TO WIN, AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I’M NOT EVEN MAD ABOUT IT ANYMORE. I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M STILL TYPING IN CAPITALS.
OMG, stop everything. She’s in a butterfly park. They’re just sitting while there are butterflies everywhere. They’re picking them up and everything. This looks amazing. This is like my dream date, minus the zip-line.
Matty’s final thoughts are: he loves her. He misses her when he’s not with her. There’s lots of kissing. Matty says, “This doesn’t feel like a goodbye, it feels like the beginning.”
The Final Date with Lee
Here are my first observations: He’s wearing very white short-shorts, and is very fidgety.
For their super-romantic date, Lee and Georgia ride a trishaw. Around Singapore. Looking at the city. I’m worried this is all the date is.
But it’s ok, they arrive at…nope, nowhere, they just keep riding on.
Now, at night, and in different outfits, they’re on a boat looking at the city. How many angles can you look at one city? I mean, it’s pretty and everything, but this isn’t a winner’s date, is it?
- Side note: Although, remember that time we all thought Sam wasn’t going to choose Snezana because she got the picnic on the dirt while the other girl got a fancy date? They’ve pulled this trick on us before, so let’s not place our bets just yet…
Lee asks Georgia what her family thought of him, and she tries to get out of it by saying, “Um…well…Dad loved you.” Almost as if instructed by producers, Lee says that Katie confronted him about being “too smooth”. Georgia is shocked, because OMG Katie totally said the same thing to her. How totally crazy!
- Side note: I’m not sure what the problem is here. Is it the fact that Lee was too prepared, like Hillary is for Presidential Debates? If anyone’s too smooth, it was Jake. This is just the “he’s too perfect” thing all over again.
Georgia and Lee are still on the boat, and watch as the city does this crazy psychedelic laser light show for some inexplicable reason.
Lee’s nervous because he’s going to tell her he loves her.
But, oh, wait, not there. The location must be perfect. They’re going to have some sexy pool time on the top of a building. You know, the one that looks over the city. It’s pretty cool, actually. I don’t know why I’m making fun of it.
Lee is about to say it, but Georgia’s leaning back and actually looks a bit scared. Did anyone else notice this weird body language?
He stalls for ages, and finally says he’s fallen in love with her. They mush. Recycling the audio from his time with Katie, Lee says, “as soon as I said it, everything felt right.”
The Finale
Talking-Head-Georgia is crying talking about who she should choose. Present-Day-Contemplative Georgia does yoga (what?) and contemplates.
Ahhhh it’s happening!
Cue tracking shots of half-naked guys getting dressed.
Cue last minute sponsor shoe-ins.
Cue slow-motion diamond draping.
Cue double doors opening and a power walk straight to camera.
And who is waiting at the end of the walkway? None other than the always-reliable Osher.
Right, so, I’m not as invested in this moment after Richie broke my heart by not choosing Nikki. I don’t trust this show anymore, so I have no idea who’s winning. I’ve been burnt before. I’m trying very hard to not fall in love with either of them. However, I think Georgia definitely clicks more with Matty. They just seem to connect in a natural way. They seem like they’d be best friends, as well as romantic partners. I want her to pick Matty for herself, not for me, and I never thought I’d be backing him.
Osher says this is as far as he goes, and walks Georgia to the limo. Geez…does he go and get shot after this? #SaveOsher
Georgia now stands at the end of a rose petal walkway beside a pool in the back courtyard of a hotel in the randomest location ever.
Now, we all know first out of the limo is the runner-up. Thanks to a strategically-placed ad break, the tension is heightened. Who will it be?
Lucky for you, you’re reading this, and you don’t have to wait.
- Side note: The following is my completely un-edited reaction to what happened.
First out of the limo is…fuck, no way. IT’S MATTY J. JESUS. I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING, AGAIN. SHOW, WHY DO YOU DO THIS?!
We listen to Georgia say nice things to him. Before breaking his heart.
Oh Matty, I’m so sorry. He drops her hands. He can’t even look at her. Jesus. He’s crying. This is intense. He can’t talk, the poor thing. He says he’s absolutely devastated. Well, it isn’t any Nikki concession speech.
He hugs her and says, “I really don’t want to let you go.” Oh man and he said he felt like it was the beginning when he was in the butterfly enclosure. This is awful. I’m crying, I’ll fully admit it.
In his Rejection-Limo, Matty says, “I kind of wish that I didn’t love her right now. I wish you could flip a switch and stop having those feelings for someone.” Oh, God. Excuse me while my heart just smashes into a million pieces.
Meanwhile, in Happy Fairytale Land, Georgia says that “Lee makes me laugh more than anyone else has.” Um, I don’t think we’ve ever seen her laugh with Lee, but you know who she has laughed with? MATTY. MATTY BROUGHT HER MORE JOY THAN AN ICE CREAM ON A HOT SUMMER’S DAY.
Georgia says that “When Lee told me he loved me, that was the happiest moment of my life.”
They say nice things to each other, she finally gets to say she loves him, and they mush. The donkey even gets a mention. It’s very romantic. He keeps trying to say romantic things while all she wants to do is kiss him. He’s so happy. She’s so happy. He’s scooped her up! There’s a dramatic pan across the city! The music swells!
And that’s it. All over, red rover.
Well, I can’t believe I’m disappointed that Georgia didn’t choose Matty, when I really disliked him from the start. I backed Donkey Lee, and he’s got it, but for some reason, I feel unfulfilled. I guess we don’t know what happens behind the scenes, and we’ll never know how someone truly feels, and if Georgia says she loves Lee, then I guess we’ll just have to believe her. EVEN IF WE SAW NO EVIDENCE FOR THIS AND STACKS OF EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY.
Thank you to everyone who has read these recaps – I hope you’ve all enjoyed them. Thanks to the love of my life for reading every single one of them with me hanging over his shoulder asking which bit he was up to. I love you.
I’m really proud of myself for sticking with it and recapping a whole season of this show. It’s been tiring and frustrating at times, but it’s also been a really great experience. I love this show, and it’s been really fun analysing it and sharing my thoughts, even if no one else is reading them.
Who knows, maybe there’ll be some more Bachelor reviews in the future…