I think I am pansexual, but I'm not sure, because I feel like pansexuality has to do with not caring about someones gender and just being attracted to the person. But I DO care about someone's gender, but it's not a factor in the POSSIBILITY of me being attracted to them. Idk if that makes sense, but what I mean is that I won't NOT like someone SIMPLY BECAUSE of their gender, but I feel like gender does still matter to me in a way that doesn't seem to fit the definition (like preferences sorta?)
sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask…!
actually, whatever definition of pansexuality you are familiar with and are referring to is incorrect. pansexuality has nothing to do with not caring about someone’s gender. in fact, i think it would be highly offensive to someone if a pansexual was to tell them that they didn’t care about their gender because for some people their gender is an important part of who they are. saying that you don’t give a damn about that or that your attraction has nothing to do with that very important part of them is insulting and offensive. people who spread such a ridiculous and offensive definition of what it is to be pansexual need to rethink what it is that they’re saying.
it is perfectly fine, and in fact NORMAL, for someone’s gender identity to factor into your feelings for them. pansexuals aren’t mythical creatures who are somehow magically oblivious to someone’s gender identity or incapable of being attracted to it. furthermore, ANYONE who is attracted to someone else is attracted to that person for who they are as a person. pansexuality doesn’t have a monopoly on that either.
having said all that, if you feel that you are pansexual then you have every right to identify as one. everyone’s attraction to others is complicated and never boils down to attraction to personality vs sex— don’t let people who try to claim that it does fool you. there are definitely other pansexuals who experience attraction that involves gender. :)
