Prompt for @fictober-event ‘s prompt challenge - Fan fiction category.
Warnings: Angst, violent flashback, broken Bucky, Tough-Love Reader...like seriously almost teared up writing this
Prompt: “You can’t give more than yourself.”
FANDOM: MCU
Bucky x Reader Fic
The Winter Soldier moved without a single sound, not a soul knew he was there. He was actually presented a challenge with this mission, he had a single target and a single blade with him. There was very little he was able to carry with him in the ridiculous suit he had to wear. But this was the mission: get in, locate target, silence target, get out. The operatives thought that the best way to do this was to have him blend in. Meaning he had to wear the suit - extremely uncomfortable.
Taking the last hall way on his route, he arrived to the door leading to the stairs flowing into the cold basement. Closing the door behind him, the only evidence he had entered was the sudden flooding of light from the hall into the basement. With deliberate and well-placed steps, he made his way down the stairs to stand in front of a cold metal door. There was not window, just dark, beaten steal with a sliding lock and a push panel.
He pushed the lock over, and moved the door into the room. It was pitch black, cold, almost damp, and the faint sound of metal across concrete was the only noise in the room. He closed the door behind him and waited on his eyes to adjust to the black.
“go away...” the voice of a small, desperate, and weak girl was presented into the darkness. “there’s nothing else I can give you...” he scanned the room in attempt to locate the voice. The soldier moved forward, step, step, step ... ste - crunch.. he recognized the feel of a chain under his foot. “there’s nothing else you can do... just leave”
she was broken.
The soldier needed to locate this target and eliminate her. She was a threat to Hydra and was selling their secrets - a failed recruit who got away working as a double agent. He needed light. Walking back to the door, he slid it open and left it filling the concrete box with light from the basement hall. There she was: the target. The target curled along her side on the ground. The threat bound by her ankles in heavy, rusted chains. The failed recruit in nothing more than a then shredded, torn slip dress. The double agent bleeding and bruised along every inch of her skin. broken,
She didn’t even lift her head, a small groan left her mouth as she prepared herself for what ever was going to happen. The winter soldier remembered his mission: get in, locate target, silence target, get out. Three confident strides to the girl and he held her by her hair, pulled off the ground. Target. He examined her for a moment as she struggled against him. Threat. Pathetic attempts to pull herself loose from his grip. Failed Recruit. He pulled his knife sharp, designed for stealth, crafted for his hand. Double Agent. One smooth, lightning fast movement she was gone.
“AHHHGHGHGHGHHHHHHGHGH”
You woke to Bucky screaming, eyes shut tight, and gripping for anything he could. He rolled to his left, out of the bed, and his hands found the lamp sitting on the table crushing it in his flying hands. His eyes were still clamped shut and would not yield - his screaming continued as you scurried through the sheets chasing after him.
He was walking, quickly, across the room until he met the couch with his legs. “Bucky!” you yelled, in a desperate attempt to wake him up.
His thighs hit the back of the couch, but he kept going forward. He flipped over the backing, rolled across the seat, and landed on the coffee table in front of the couch. CRACCKCKCKK! The table shattered under him and his eyes shot open.
“James Buchanan Barnes!” You screamed as you approached him - hair a mess, tank top straps falling off, and barely able to walk in a straight line. “You wake up right now or I swear I’ll -” you noticed his eyes were open now.
He was panting on the floor, under a shattered and splintered heap of stained wood. Eyes searching the room, grabbing for anything that seemed real, longing for an explanation. His hands shook, unable to release the small piece of the table from his unyielding grip.
Whispering to yourself, you thanked God that he was awake. He was still pulling shallow breaths in and barely releasing them. You straightened your straps and knelt down beside the pile of ruins. You watched the fear in his eyes search the scene as he tried to find out if he was alive or not. You watched the piece of wood in his hands begin to splinter from the pressure he put on it.
“Bucky..” a whisper left your mouth as you reached towards him arm enslaving the wooden shard. “Come on...” you desperately pleaded, “come back to me...” your hand touched him arm and immediately the shard exploded under your arm. His hand crushing the wooden piece into oblivion. Shocking yourself, you realize your hand had maintained it’s spot on his arm. His fear filled eyes met yours.
“... I ...” with raspy breaths, “ .. I’m..” His head fell back landing hard on the pile under him.
“Bucky...” You began rubbing up and down on his arm, trying anything to comfort him. He had never had a nightmare this bad before. “You’re awake now, I’m here...”
You simply stayed on your knees beside him, rubbing small designs on his arm as he muttered nonsense. “Bruised...” Words that confused you more than anything. “I..I..without...” Waiting for his breath to steady. “Where was I?” Him pleading for answers that didn’t exist. “why?”
Slowly, hours later, he calmed down - his breath steadied. Neither of you were going to be sleeping anymore tonight. So, you laid down beside him as close as you could get without hurting yourself.
With a deep breath, you saw him wipe away the tears that had stained his face. He reached for your hand and lightly grasped for your palm. You opened your hand and let him set his against yours and wrapped your fingers around his hand.
Both of you laying on broken shards of splintering wood, fingers interlaced together, he stared at the ceiling and whispered “I don’t deserve you.”
You let a slow breath leave your lips, then turned your head to watch him stare at nothing, “you deserve everything I can give you”
“No,” in the most heart breaking voice you had ever heard, “I don’t”
“Bucky,” you huffed as you propped yourself up on your elbow to look him in the eye, “Who are you?” Authority dripping off your tone.
“What?”
“Who. Are. You?” dragging out each of your words.
“I’m Bucky?...”
“Who did whatever he did in that dream?”
“ I -”
“Wrong!” you cut him off, “You are James Buchanan Barnes, not the Winter Soldier.”
“But -” tilting his head to look at you, an almost confused expression on his face.
“I’m not done,” lifting your hand to place it on his chest, “Whatever the Winter Soldier did was directed by some ass-hat that programmed your body to take orders.” You sat up and turned around to look at him, “your body being programmed to do something does not mean you did it.”
He dropped his head again and studied the ceiling. For a long while, you both sat in silence as you watched his face process what you had said. Finally, he looked at you, scanning your features. A small smile gracing his face, “I still don’t deserve everything you give me.”
You smiled. Half shocked that your speech had worked and half relieved that he was coming back to himself, “I’d give you the world, Bucky”
“You can’t give me more than yourself,” he said...completely serious.
Your smile faded, maybe you were wrong. Had you made him angry, made him feel worse than he already did? Why would he say that? He had to know that would hurt. You looked down trying to rationalize that he wasn’t himself yet. Maybe he’s still trying to coop with his dream.
You really would, though. You would give him the world if you could. He was a victim, not the bad guy. He deserved everything the world had to offer. He deserved more than the average man, because he had endured more than the average man. HE DESERVED THE WORLD
He sat up now, pushing away the ruined table pieces, looking down, “which is exactly...” looking up to meet your defeated eyes, “and everything I need.”
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Thanks for reading, everyone. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
AN:Hey guys i am very sick atm so i made this short imagine to comfort myself ^^ contains a nightmares!
You were used to having bad dreams, they had been haunting you for the last years. The nightmares used to be mild horrible and you would awoke form them but they didn’t really effect you more then that. But this time it was different.
you where in your house frantically looking for Jimmy. Everything around you were so dark.’’Jimmy where are you?’’ You asked with a shaky voice. You were so cold that you shivered, it made it difficult to move further. Suddenly you started to hear tiny whispers that came through the floorboards. First they didn’t make sense to you but then you could make out some sort of meaning from them. They were whispering about you. ‘’death (Y/N)’’ ‘’not everyone gets to be old’’ said the whispers from underneath you. Trying to escape this you tried to backaway.
And Then you saw Death, as he griped a zombie like Jimmy and disappeared under ground. You strated to scream frantically. ‘’oh my god no! pleas no! JIMMY COME BACK TO ME!’’
Your eyes opend in a panic as you grabbed the sheets, breathing uncontrollabled and on the verge of tears Jimmy rolled over an enclosed himself around you. ‘’ dont worrie, I will protect you (Y/N)’’ He said with a soothing voice. His body felt heavy around you and for a second you felt like nothing in the world could hurt you.
