#badfic meme

[drcalvin]

The tall actress had hair the color of a dying crocus in late spring, which waved elegantly across a forehead that resembled the sky over the horizon of a tranquil rural village. She was, in a word, really hot. "Welcome to the theatre." The young artist said, gazing at her with his sculpted cheekbones. "I would be honored if you would read my script." He held out a piece of toilet paper, calligraphed with a work of such genius the purple-haired actress began to weep, but not in a gross way.

I ONLY WISH I HAD THE HAIR COLOR OF A DYING CROCUS RN

/weeps with laughter/

(meme)

[captainswank]

Hi my name is Captainswank Alastair Genki Min and I have blonde hair that is amazing. I am not related to Pagan Min but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. (I can't do any more pastiche of My Immortal... I'm laughing to hard at the fic for this to be productive.)

Incredible

[bastardwarden]

Hi my name is Alistair Chee'secake Gouda Swiss Theirin and I have short ???? color hair that flips up in the front and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Lance Bass (AN: if u dont know who he is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Zevran Arainai but I wish I was cause he's a major fucking hottie. I'm also a Grey Warden (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly armor. I love Abercombie & Fitch and I buy all my armor from there. (1/2)

For example today I was wearing a brown cuirass with matching straps and brown greaves and brown boots. A lot of Darkspawn stared at me. I put my middle finger up at them. (AN: I hate darkspawn ok if you’re a darkspawn don’t read!!) (2/2)

[bastardwarden]

"Alistair was blonde. Like, really blonde. Like he could have been John Smith from the Pocahontas movie if John Smith was from Ferelden which he isn't because he's from England even though he had an American accent before America was a thing because he was voiced by Mel Gibson. John Smith also wasn't a Disney prince like Alistair should be but I can't think of any other blonde Disney princes. So Alistair was so blonde he was basically Cinderella except kind of the opposite? That's Alistair."

describe me like a bad fanfic, baby