#baeiha

[findmykin]

hi, this is akira kurusu from persona 5. i'm looking for the rest of the PT except for ryuji and yusuke! im 17, so please no one under 15 or over 22. idc about doubles, like this post and ill contact you!

!!!

[theyoungestoowada-blog]

baeiha replied to your post:"So I left... what's the big deal?"

"Well, I’m here now, aren’t I? That’s gotta count for something… or something, right?"

The sneer never left Crissy's face. How dare he? How fucking dare he show his face after all this time? "Tch, yer lucky I don't have my boys lock yer ass in one 'a' these fuckin' cellars to keep ya from causin' fuckin' trouble." 

[theyoungestoowada-blog]

"So I left... what's the big deal?"

"Big deal?" She seethed, hobbling over toward him on her cane. "The big deal, is that ya fuckin' VANISH and now I'm fuckin' stuck tryin' to clean up yer goddamn mess!"

[ayatsuri]

{-- the smallest ｍｅｍｏｒｙ | baeiha }

        Sympathy in genuine form was something she never expected, thus the extent of his reaction did very little to unsettle her. Admittedly, though, she sought to pinpoint some guilt at his core-- for some proof that he was human enough to mourn for those who had acted as his soldiers. If not for her sake, then for the others-- who had so much more to lose than she. She hadn't yet ruled out the possibility that they were his playthings, convinced by his voice, by his vision. While she had, to some extent, control of her decision... he convinced her when she was at her lowest. Whilst she hadn't the right to shed responsibility from her shoulders, resentment still smoldered beneath her skin. There he was again, emerging from the shadows... conveniently for him, whilst she was rendered helpless. 

Swallowing down saccharine medications and attempting to stay put; Peko was nothing more than an obedient, husk of a girl confined to a hospital bed for months. Monitored constantly, her every antic questioned and drilled. There was nothing left for her to do, perhaps, but dwell on just how far she had fallen. The way she spent so many years, devoting herself to her resolve. Bettering herself so that she would not be replaced, so that she would always meet the expectations set for her. While she wasn’t granted the privilage of experiencing humanity at its’ finest, being treated as any decent person should be— she had her strength. Memorized footwork, balance, technique. Her body was no longer what it was-- a willowy framework of what used to be. People looked on her with pity, treated like a broken doll beyond repair. Talked down to as though she had the mindset of a child who didn't know what was best for her. She was incapable of free thought, still devoid of identity. No one understood just what it was like to have the mindset of a 'tool'. She despised it. Every minute of it.

Stripped of dreams and a prospect of a real future of her own from a young age, she had no motive or drive. She had no idea where to go next. It was as though she was running, seeking a destination, attempting to catch up to something… but never quite making it. The sheer purpose in the shaman was something she craved. His words enticed her-- a serpent draped over her shoulders, wrenching weakness and vulnerability from her very being. Perhaps that was also what fueled some of her resentment towards him. He had the potential to control her, a puppet under a mastermind's navigation. All that was left was for him to tighten the grip and reel her in. Crafting sentences fit to her desires, that going with him was equivalent to her freedom from this prison. 

The nurses told her to endure treatment and to stay put… They bolted her door up tight and kept her under heavy surveillance. Although these precautions were taken for good reason— sometimes she wondered if they prolonged her recovery intentionally for the sake of maintaining her condition. Would she simply sit forever, eagerly swallowing false promises of a better life that seemed so distant? Hope was a label slapped on with fake smiles, promising golden roads and rainbows. It was not that simple, however… and false hope tended to breed despair.  While it was true that he was the reason why she was locked up in this room, it was prospective that he might be the reason why she could leave this place as well. If anything, she could take advantage of an easy escape. It was a matter of understanding whether or not she would be capable of escaping him, should she need to. Given her current condition, she wasn't incredibly optimistic about her odds.

Here he was, skirting around the important details of his scheme. Presenting an opportunity that would change her life significantly-- should she decide to take advantage of it. However, to allow him to compose her actions with his words… that was something she could not submit to. Not yet. Her resolve to stay by Bocchan’s side was still strong enough to refute such claims. Doubt wreathed itself in ruby eyes— a gaze angled downwards as she reflected on her options. Almost cringing at the fact that he would be granted the satisfaction of knowing that his tactics were taking a toll on her mind.

          Are you really all right with this? Living like this?

"I'm not." She agreed with the statement almost immediately, hoping that hearing the sound of her own voice would force the thoughts that would surely follow away. Seeing eye to eye with reason was important, despite how much she longed to lift herself up and leave. There was an almost magnetic quality to his presence, pulling her back into a troublesome state of mind. 

She wasn't all right with this. Equivalent to a breathing corpse. Nothing had changed since she was rendered comatose, despite the fact that her eyes were hatched open. But there was someone she was holding on for. Dare she even have the courage to deem him a beacon of hope, in her dilemma. Fuyuhiko claimed that he wanted to protect her for once. The shaman was off the radar, practically having thrown her, and all of the others, away once he was through with them. He stayed at her side, through everything. What would happen to him, should she throw his attempts to change away and take the hand of the man who lead them all into this hell?

The terrifying aspect was whether or not the Hagakure would take no for an answer. Now that he had revealed himself, it would be simple for her to alert those who were eager to hunt him down. She could hardly sit upright. If she went and disagreed, he could easily just rest her aside and leave her for dead. Cruelly mirroring the way her parents rid of her when she was too young to help herself. 

"This is what became of me after I followed your lead." Her words twisted, authoritative and no longer corrupted by fear. Instead, perhaps, a desire to know why it came to this. "For what reason should I trust you over them?"

Tipping her chin back, she attempted to look him in the eye. A chill ran down her spine when she did, hating that he could easily tower over her if he so pleased it. Her attempts to sit up on her own before had only solidified the fact that she hadn't the strength to produce a power behind her words. How did the saying go? All bark, no bite? Stare adrift, she let a heavy sigh escape to force the tension to dissolve from her shoulders.

Kindness had never been offered to her freely-- it always came tacked on with a heavy price. Her stare was practical, dull. She wasn't naive enough to think that he was here for her best interest. What would she gain from going with him? What would she... lose? How was she supposed to measure it out? What did she want? She had never really known the answer to that question. 

"What do you expect from me?"  She fixated her stare on her hands, color draining as her skin stretched over a row of jutting knuckles. "There is only so much I can endure, like this. This is my second chance. I'll... lose everything if I go with you.”  

Given the fact that they discovered their encounter, she may very well have already lost everything. If they deemed her inner workings weak to his words...

That could be the very reason they needed to put her down for good.

[theyoungestoowada-blog]

baeiha replied to your post: ((ugh ok im back, losing so many follo...

[ Fuck them. In the not fun way. That was a shitty pep talk, but HEY! Don’t pay attention to them! Dancing turtle!]

((aww turtle i fuckin love you ok? *hugs*))

[theyoungestoowada-blog]

baeiha replied to your post: ((I kinda wanna look up some Teddy/Kan...

[ That’s news to come back to. :’) ]

((:3))

[theyoungestoowada-blog]

baeiha replied to your post:((ok who should i go for? Naoto is outta the...

[ Marie. And her eclectic loutwits. ]

((TURTLE I JUST CHOKED THAT WAS MY FAV THING SHE EVER DID))

[deathbybirthright]

baeiha replied to your post “Off Of Hiatus”

[ - intense vibrating - deaR RAZIQ IS BACK ]

Yes I am :P It's been a while. Doing well I take it?