Bacon stretched and opened his eyes. When he tried to rub them awake, he realized he had little paws. He yelped in surprise and ran over to Chanyeol, jumping on his stomach.
“Oof!” he said. “Good morning little pug Bacon.”
“Woof!?” he exclaimed, before scampering away to take a good look at himself. No, his squished in face wasn’t because he had just ran into the mirror. He was supposed to be a beagle! Or a corgi. Or a bagel. MMmmm, bagels…
NO! Must stay focused! Chanyeol must help.
“Sorry my little Bacon bit, you have to have true love’s kiss.”
TRUE LOFF, Bacon thought, and ran out the door. He searched high and low , eventually ending up at a drive-through because he was super hungry.
“Josh, there’s a pug at the window. Am I supposed to give him this cheeseburger?” a pretty lady (with ‘Julie’ in gold letters on her nametag) said to her co-worker.
“Nah,” said Josh, who looked suspiciously like a mango lady in disguise.
“I’ll come in there, Josh. I’ll come in there and I’ll get it myself,” Bacon suddenly said, acquiring speech.
But when he saw the beautiful woman holding a cheeseburger, he merely screamed - “MY LOFF.”
She jumped out the window and into his car, and they drove into the sunset with a trunk full of cheeseburgers. She kissed him on the forehead and as he returned the favour once turning back into a human - she tried to ignore that he was naked but his butt was too tempting to poke so they just got to babymaking and lived happily ever after.
Not crack, so it’s under the cut. This is a Bacon x Reader scenario.
Originally posted on my other sideblog, candiedbaconbaby! A Bacon x You oneshot written as a gift. But in this reposting, I dedicate it to taterbyun~
This was supposed to be fluffy, but it’s romance with a little angst.
“Please, Bacon?”
He gave a sigh but you could practically hear him smiling over the phone.
“Ah, will you keep calling me Bacon, even in front of the members? You embarrass me when you do that, you know!” he exclaimed unconvincingly.
“Don’t change the subject! You’re already late and we scheduled this hangout a month ago, so I really don’t want to have to reschedule again. I cooked dinner for you and I want you to enjoy it before it gets cold. Can’t your manager drop you off to see your old friend for a couple of hours?”
“It will take me a while because the manager already left with the car to go to a meeting, so give me maybe a half hour.”
“Okay, Bacon,” you said, feigning anger. “But I will eat it all myself if you don’t get here soon.”
You hung up, glad that he was on his way. You busied yourself over the stove, stirring the homemade sauce you were making, adding a little bit of sugar to balance out the tartness of the cheese. Baekhyun didn’t always eat western food, but when he begged you to make him your homemade macaroni and cheese with broccoli, onions, and bits of bacon in it, you couldn’t refuse. After all, this dish was the reason you had started calling him the allegedly ‘embarrassing’ nickname back in high school, much to his mock chagrin.
You turned off the stove and let the sauce cool, checking that the noodles were well strained.
Suddenly, you heard a crack of thunder. Rushing to the window, you saw the rain start to beat down upon the awning below you, pelting the dusty cars down the street unabashedly.
Fearing the worst, you nervously dialed his number. One of the other boys picked up, and said he had already left a while ago, but forgot his phone. You bit your lip, wondering where he was now. Half an hour came and went, and you paced frantically around your apartment, worried.
“Where could he be?!” You exclaimed, turning on the radio to ease some of your nerves. EXO’s Moonlight was playing, and you sat down on your couch, calmed somewhat by his voice. You had always loved his soothing tone, powerful at times but also capable of much sweetness. You closed your eyes and prayed he was somewhere safe, hopefully on his way back home if he wasn’t stuck in the downpour.
In what felt like just a few minutes later, a loud thumping was heard. Your eyes flew open and were surprised to be engulfed in darkness. All the lights were off, as well as your radio, and the rain and noise at your door were all you could hear. You rushed to your small lobby and flung the door open to find a shivering and wet Baekhyun on your doorstep.
“Bacon!” You gasped, pulling him inside, hugging him tightly, not caring if you got wet, too. “What on earth were you thinking? Why didn’t you go back to your dorm once it started raining? Or why didn’t you call a taxi?!”
“I w-w-want-t-ted t-to…” He tried to continue, as you fussed around in the dark, lighting the remnants of your last candle on your living room table and rushing to the hallway closet to grab as many towels and blankets as you could. Dropping them off on your couch, you ran to your bedroom and dug around your drawers for an extra pair of sweatpants and a sweater, as well as your battery-powered mini hairdryer, rushing back to him and shushing him when he tried to speak. You got to work toweling his hair off, but soon after, told him to change. As he did so, you went to your room and quickly sent his phone a text saying he was alright, hoping one of the other members would see it.
Upon returning, he was still shivering, so you sat him down on the couch, wrapped him in a cocoon of fuzzy blankets, and began to dry his hair properly.
“I w-w-wanted t-to…” he tried again, but you put your warm fingers on his already-blue lips and continued your work, hoping being backlit by the candlelight would allow your expression to stay hidden. As he closed his eyes, you could start to see him become less pale, and the chills wracking his body were starting to subside. Yet, he still looked so tired.
He smiled and began tilting his head from side to side, enjoying the warmth from the hair dryer, making little appreciative sounds as you discarded the comb you had picked up and just used your hands to ruffle his hair. You were hardly paying attention, wrapped up in your own thoughts, but you still managed to smile a little to yourself, enjoying how much he really was like a little puppy.
As the moments dragged by, your smile disappeared and you could feel a tightness in your throat. You were upset with yourself that you insisted he come tonight, angry that he didn’t just go home, worried that your selfishness would cost him his health, guilty that he still came all this way on his own just to see you when he obviously already had enough on his plate with his last breakup still inciting a grand backlash from anti-fans– though it was already four months in the past. The list went on and on, and before you knew it, you were no longer smiling. And yet, the inside of your chest ached just from seeing him grin at you, and the corners of your mouth twitched upwards involuntarily.
“Why are you crying?” he suddenly questioned softly, his eyes growing wide in the dark room. His hair was now no longer damp and entirely fluffy, sticking up every which way. His words barely registered as you put down the hair dryer and slowly ran your fingers through his hair, smoothing it down. Pulling his arms out of his cocoon, he put his hands over your own, which had slid down to cup his face.
“I wanted to see you,” he finally whispered, answering your unvoiced thoughts as simply as he could.
“I wanted to see you,” he repeated, as his graceful thumbs grazed the back of your hands, turning his face slightly to kiss one of your palms, closing his elegant fingers over your wrists. His hands were warm now, warmer than yours. He closed his eyes again and nuzzled his face into your hands.
He peeked one eye open shyly from behind your fingers, earning a small, waterlogged smile from you.
“I wanted to see you,” he said, as he slowly brought your hands down onto his chest, loosening the blankets around him and encircling you with them into a gentle embrace, bringing his face close to yours. Waiting. Testing the waters, giving you a chance to breathe and push him away, but everything from his soft eyelashes to his familiar scent only drew you nearer. His heart beat slowly, but intensely. The vibrations resonated throughout your body until you could swear your heartbeat was keeping time with his. Even the candles seemed to dim and fade as he drew closer and closer, his beautiful fingers tracing over the features of your face before brushing your hair out of the way, the tears in your eyes blurring your vision as the sound of rain splattering onto concrete became the only thing accompanying the feeling of his lips on yours, blending sweetly into the darkness of the night.
this was originally titled "baekchen fluff for jooli"...
18/12/2014
For hrhkimjongdae! prettyprincessofchina, you’re in here too!
"Gull," Jongdae said slowly, looking her in the eyes.
"Ah can’t iksplain hau ah feerl."
"Aniyo," a voice exclaimed. "Ey! Ey! Ey! Yeah."
"She’s mine!" Chenchen roared, his tiny dinosaur arms waving around.
"Andwaeeeeeeee!" Bacon fought back. Or, he WOULD have fought back, but being a strip of meat, he had no arms.
Kim Jongdae jumped into Jooli’s arms.
"BE MINE 5EVER," he screeched, releasing a high note from his unfathomable cheekbones. She was confused and looked up at the shelf he had come from.
She looked down on the table and said sadly, “I can’t have you, Bacon. Mother put me on a diet because she doesn’t like that I have 6 jobs.”
No one could hear his greasy cries. Chen cackled in victory, but was sad when she placed him near the bathroom mirror. She patted his head while he purred.
The panda in the corner chuckled, eating waffles and browsing tumblr for photos of Do Kyungsoo.
Janine walked in, but saw Julbrie and Jongdae together. She began to cry out of her left eye, and her left eye only.
Chen felt horrible, but Bacon yelled out to her as she began to retreat, “I will take you. TO THE. SECRET PLACE. Drop the SHADES AND crank THE b—”
"SIREO!" Ja9 screamed. "YOU’RE NOT MY GALAXY HUSBAND AND YOU NEVER WILL BE."
She ran away. Jongdae wanted to run after her, but he turned his head and saw his reflection. He looked like Rex from Toy Story. He was only a plastic dinosaur, but his heart was real and on it was imprinted the hashtag “CHENINE”.
The panda snuggled up to a body pillow of The Soo and dreamt dreams of heart-shaped lips.
Julsinneverland looked left, and looked right.
"We will be together now. Our love is for us and us alone," she said, eyes bright, and ate all her breakfast, smiling like she had never smiled before.
Merrey Kreasmiz, admin J of ayowatupkrease! This is for you, too, hrhkimjongdae.
"Where is Kyungsoo?" Megs asked, disappointed.
"He’ll get here soon, he’s just practicing his speech to you." promised Bacon, but was too busy decorating Julie with tinsel to elaborate further.
Jools cried happy tears, eating stringed popcorn to alleviate her feels at what she had waited her whole life to happen.
"Let my husband and I soothe your agitation with our song of love." Lou looked to Jongdae and he merely screeched in response.
Suddenly, a man in Draco Malfoy garb came running in.
"HAPPuu new Yer," Yifan shouted, drowning out the #CHENINE ballad, holding up mistletoe over Mars and Louise.
Chen bit Krease’s elbow, causing him to let go of the mistletoe. They ran off together, hand in hand.
"More girls for me," chuckled Bacon, kissing Julbrie on the forehead and pulling mistletoe out of Megan’s hair to kiss her on the nose.
"U r not Lu Juan or a dinosaur," whispered J9 dramatically, crying out of her left ear. "Someone call a doctor!"
"U rang?" Dr. Kim Kai walked in. "Nurse Soo, will u halp meh?"
"Of course, Jonginnie." Kyungsoo was wearing a bowtie, glasses, had a brilliant undercut and his eyebrow game was strong as his hair was red.
"I heard yesterday some guy tried to give you his card. Ain’t no one gon’ try and give my girl his card," he said seriously, putting a brand new pink MCM backpack on Megs’ shoulders, and when she shook it around, it seemed it was filled with cards of his own.
He took a wet wipe and disinfected Megan’s nose, said “Here is ur medicine,” and gave her the biggest, most beautiful hug that ever existed.
"Hyung, u were supposed to treat the other patient too."
Overlord Soo threw a mango at Ja9 and Chanyeol came running, tackling her into the nearest bedroom. 9 other boys followed.
martinsmcfly replied to your post:/throws a pillow at u/ that baek gifset was...
IT’S MY ICON BC HE’S A CUTE LITTLE SHIT. LIKE YOU. THAT’S WHY Y’ALL ARE PERFECT TOGETHER. #KAIRA
The denial is strong up in here. It's okay, I understand that you're trying to avoid the subject because Baek is too hot for you to handle. I advise fully accepting him as your significant other- oh wait, IT'S ALREADY HAPPENED ^^
