Anyone else just so sick of arguing their side of things? Like yeah, I'm opinionated as hell. Yes, I have sufficient research and arguments for the things I believe to be true, I challenge my own beliefs regularly and I discuss them regularly with myself, my friends, family, and the divine. So don't argue with me :/
I have ADHD, and I fucking love arguments. Or at least I used to. But I feel like recently, with the absolute overload of information about the world and politics, and my own family drifting further and further down the alt-right pipeline, I've gotten so tired of it. I don't want to have to defend basic human rights against the ignorant stupidity of people who just don't get it. I've argued all my life, and I'm tired. So tired.
I get such dopamine hits out of arguing...but these days, I avoid it. I shut down difficult topics as soon as they emerge in conversation. I've got my stance on things, and I no longer need outward validation for them. I remember realizing for the first time that my need to argue about all of my opinions comes from the subconscious belief that if other people don't come to the same conclusion as me when presented with all of the evidence, then I must somehow be wrong (this was stupid of me to believe, and I blame it on autism).
Turns out, people will outright refuse to look at the evidence, or approach it with a bias of hate or intolerance, and therefore have wildly different views on topics than me. And I am sick of trying to make people apply logic and reason. I'm tired of explaining the same things over and over again.
I think that big part of that was what I've been talking about with lord Bael. Some things just don't deserve a reaction. I expected him to teach me about war, and the first thing he taught me was how to avoid it. Which is really helpful. Can recommend it.
If feeling indifferent to people's stupid fucking claims is what it means to mature, then I am so fucking ready to become the maturest of all people. Take me already, maturity. People are so boring, they all repeat the same, stupid patterns. No one is interested in having real conversations where the outcome is open. People will not change their minds. I can change nobody's mind until they decide to wake up themselves. I only argue with my own reflection these days, it has some really interesting takes for me to consider.