Summary: You've seen it on the news. Carter Baizen and a woman who can make your insecurities go wild. Serena Van der Woodsen kissing the love of your life.
Prompt: "I want to help you through this, I really do, just not as your girlfriend.", "Please, just stay a little longer.", "Why won't you admit it?!", "When she told you to leave, you should have stayed." (Forgot where I got this from, but I think its from Tumblr)
Warning: Mention of ya'no but no ya'no? Do ya get me? Heehee! 😂 Sad reader and Carter. ANGST!
Words: 1,600+ (This was supposed to only be a drabble but what happened. Damn it.
A/N: THIS IS MY FIRST ONE SHOT OF CARTER. PLEASE BE GOOD TO ME. I HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT THE PLOT OF GOSSIP GIRL. I'VE JUST WATCHED SCENES WHERE SEB IS IN IT AND I TRIED TO KNOW HIS BACKGROUND BY ASKING MY FRIEND. I'M NO CARTER BAIZEN EXPERT. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE TYPOS AND GRAMMATICAL ERRORS. I'M CURRENTLY SICK WHILE WRITING THIS AND I DECIDED TO UPDATE SO Y'ALL KNOW I'M ALIVE AND KICKING. HEEHEE!
LIKE, COMMENT AND REBLOG PLEASE, TATER TOTS?
Disclaimer: GIF'S and pictures used are not mine. Only the edits are and the oneshot of course. 😉 Credits to the owners of the GIFS and pictures.
Oneshot taglists: @anxiousamandapanda
You've heard the news. It was on the internet and even spread by Gossip Girl itself. People of Manhattan knew you were his girlfriend. The accused gold-digger, garbage collector of some rich woman's trash that you gladly accepted because you were more of a trash than Carter Baizen in the flesh.
You huffed, trying to ignore the way his eyes were pale waves of the ocean that meant that tears were threatening to fall as you finally bursted his happy bubble.
"I want to help you through this, I really do, just not as your girlfriend." You mumbled, clicking your tongue out of habit. You could feel his gloomy, piercing blue eyes staring right through you. Begging for you not to leave his miserable, pathetic, complicated ass.
"No," Carter pleaded, his voice turning smaller like you were slowly killing him. You were. On the inside. "Please don't do this," He repeated over and over again, wanting nothing more than to fall down on his knees and keep his arms around your knees, praying to the heavens that you wouldn't leave him. "Please, just stay a little longer."
Your eyes were stinging for it to leave tears from your eyes. But, you didn't want to cry. No. You didn't want to cry for Carter. Despite of how you gave the only thing that you could give. Your heart. "Do you really love me?" You spat, staring straight into his puffy, reddish Steele blue eyes that looked nothing but hurt. "Or is it still Serena?"
The question made him shake his head furiously, he knew how insecure you were with the famous, rich, gorgeous, meticulous Serena Van der Woodsen.
Well, who were you anyways? You were just a mere human who works as a waitress in a restaurant in which you happen to meet Carter Baizen who was dating Serena back then.
"Y/N--" He started, his eyes pricking tears that were threatening to fall any minute now. "Why won't you admit it?!" You shouted, completely hopeless and wanted nothing more than to erase the fresh memories of Carter kissing Serena in a field full of trees.
"It's you! It's been you all along, Y/N!" Carter answered back with the same intensity. Though his eyes tell different. Carter didn't want to lose you, however he fucked up. He knew he fucked up and because of it he knows what consequences will be charged from his stupidity. "You know I love you,"
"Wow," You faked a laugh. Those laugh of yours was full of pain and betrayal. Carter had never seen you laugh so hostile and he wanted nothing more than to bring back the time and push Serena out of his way. "I've never heard that in months, Baizen."
"--When she told you to leave, you should have stayed." You muttered nonchalantly, voice all monotone and swerving his eyes as you stare at the parked car beside you. Your next words adding salt to the wounds he created. "So, you wouldn't have used somebody else's heart for the sake of your happiness,"
Traitors. Your tears were your best traitors because it fell before you could even know it. Carter tried to reach out for you, he planned to wipe away those tears that he happened to make. Though, all his plans were wasted when you pushed his hands away with fury. Spitting your next words like it was vile. "That is if you were even happy with me!"
Your tears were left to dry from the city's polluted air and Carter can do nothing but stare at how his girl was breaking because of his doing. It was all his fault. Everything was. "--Because you've meant the world to me, Carter." Your voice began to helplessly crack and Carter could only stare back at you with his bloodshot eyes. Everything you were saying was giving him pain because seeing you burst and cry in front of him was the last thing he wanted to see.
Yet, you still did and it was because of his mistakes.
It was like your hands have a mind of its own when it automatically lifted halfway through to wipe the subtle tears that fell on the sides of Carter's eyes. Though, he was quick to harshly wash it away with the back of his hands. Not wanting to let you see how bad you were breaking him but he was too late.
You choked in your own tears, as you stuttered. The undeniably painful truth was hurting you the most. "I-Is it because I'm not those high-socialites you've hanged out with?"
After a blink, another tear came flowing down your face. You were lucky you didn't use any mascara because if you did, you probably looked horrible as hell as of the moment. It was like your tongue felt numb, some kind of bane that poisoned your tongue from saying the next painful, distressing truth. "Or is it because I wasn't as beautiful as Serena or Blaire?"
From the moment you said those words, Carter was quick to grab your face with his soft palms, his Steele blue eyes completely broken in despair. Desperate to wash away those horrible thoughts that was haunting your self-confidence or yourself.
"D-Don't say that!" He pleaded, tenderly wiping your tears away with his thumbs. You gave in and let him hold you like you were fragile. You just missed how he cradled you when you were feeling down. The look in your eyes made him desperately scan your face. You bit your lip, attempting to stop the tears from falling but that just made it fall even more. "I-I know I am not the slightest ideal woman that you've ever wanted, Car." You paused, sniffing. "I have never been," You choked, voice cracking and sounding hoarse from the cries. "And the only useful thing that I could do was to love you unconditionally,"
Carter have desperately grabbed onto you, wrapping his desperate arms around you and constantly giving your forehead a lot of desperate kisses which came with his pleads. "No, no, no," His voice cracked as he sobbed through his beseeching. "I love you, Y/N."
"--I love you very much,"
He hugged you tight. So tight that you were wondering how you were able to breath. You could faintly smell the masculine, spicy scent of his cologne that you loved that was always trapped in your sheets whenever he came over to spend the night. Though, you might need to not get used it anymore.
"No,no,no.." Carter pleaded for the hundredth time, hastily grabbing your face and melting into his gorgeous, watery, Steel blue eyes. "Don't go. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It was all a misunderstanding! You got it all wrong--"
You blinked, hopelessly staring back into his eyes. Completely disappointed and broken. "I know what I saw, Carter! I'm poor, uneducated but not entirely stupid!" On a weak attempt, you grabbed onto his hands. Unclasping his hands as he dropped it on either side of him defeatedly.
Carter wanted nothing more than to keep you in his arms. His faithless eyes pierced into your pained heart, snapping the melancholy state of Carter Baizen, saving it inside the memories that you've been keeping to remember it forever.
"Good bye, Carter Baizen." You spun on your heels, another set of tears falling from the sides of your eyes like Niagara falls. Your next words seeming quieter as it cracked for the tenth time.
"I hope it hurts to think of me,"
Y/N hoped at the back of her mind. Wanting nothing more than for Carter Baizen to cry in his sleep. As he tries to remember how precious and important she ever was in his complicated life.
"What am I going to do without you?" Carter whispered, his breath hitting your ear. The both of you were cuddled in his king sized bed, his warmth was enveloping you in a hug. Not that he wasn't being the big spoon and you were the little spoon. You shivered as his fingers cascaded from your arms towards your back. The coldness of his rings was comforting you in a way that can make your heart beat pump so hard, knowing that only one touch can make you feel like you were in cloud 9. It was definitely the Baizen effect that only he can give.
You laughed ever so tiredly from your previous toing and froing beneath the sheets. "Probably crash and burn?"
"I bet cha', Baby." Carter chuckled, lifting his head to lightly kiss your naked shoulder.
Crash and burn. Well, the same goes for you if it was the other way around.
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