It was, admittedly, something you forced yourself to look past. Bakugou Katsuki warned you from the beginning that his work was first. It always would be, his dreams and goals, that was who he was.
“Take it or leave it,” he’d told you once, many years ago. “This is what I do.”
And back then, a fool completely head over heels for Katsuki, you’d take it. That was your life, too- texts that went unanswered for days, random updates about his day, calling maybe twice a week to see how you were, and you were fine to sacrifice that part of your sanity all those years ago.
But now, Kirishima posts the random flowers he got his partner on any random Wednesday. Midoriya’s hand clasped under the left hand of his fiancée’s on his timeline. Even Kaminari, who posts tangled legs of his person before he gets up to start the day. It makes you feel sick.
All you want, all you crave, all you’d sell for, is for flowers on any day. A wedding ring that would mean something. Tangled legs in the morning that beg and plead to stay in the warmth of the sheets.
But Katsuki has never been good at giving you that; he’s not a Prince Charming and his life is not a fairytale, you are not his number one priority and it fucking destroys you on the inside.
For years, you try to let it go, to no damn avail. It just hurts too much to think about for too long, knowing that nothings to change or give, and as long as your heart will love him, you’ll be right there waiting, and knowing not whether that love and excitement will always be returned.
But tonight, your dinner sits cold. One place setting untouched, unused and unloved, with your head resting on your hand as the rest of dinner is untouched. The steam stopped flowing from the plates hours ago, and you find yourself still sitting at the table. Your elbows grow sore from perching your chin in your palm.
Your lip quivers as you move to hang your head in sadness, hopelessness, until a knock rouses you from your wallowing. You wipe your eyes and make your way to the locked door, and smile at the guest on the otherside.
"Shoto," you sigh. "Here for your key?"
"Yes," he says simply, nodding his head in appreciation. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate you taking care of the cats. It truly means a lot."
You raise your hand in an attempt to show nonchalance, "it's no big deal at all. I know how busy you get, it's the least I can do for such a good neighbor."
He chuckles, and you forgot how good the sound felt falling from someone else's lips. It feels like it's been ages since you've heard it. He nods his head again, "well, thank you again," he turns on his heel to start walking away.
"Shoto," you say. He stops in his tracks and turns to look at you. You fiddle with the door handle, "could I interest you in some cold dinner? I cooked for Katsuki, but he's not here and leftovers never get eaten in this house, and... I... don't mind reheating some for you."
A glimmer of sympathy crosses his eyes, offering a hum, "I would certainly appreciate the warm meal. Thank you."
It's not the guest you'd hoped, but you've had dinner with worse people. Todoroki's been in your life for longer than you care to remember, what's one more dinner shared together?
It's not like Katsuki is here to say otherwise.
Over a lukewarm, slightly-rubberized-from-microwaving dinner, Todoroki listens to you, holding onto every word as he always does when you speak. It feels nice to be heard again, to not be forced to talk to the walls of your home.
You're not sure how long it's been before the front door opens again, and you feel yourself tense up at the heavy boots crossing the threshold, a snarly "I'm home" ringing in the air.
"Hey," you call back. "Shoto and I were wrapping up dinner, I saved-"
"The fuck's he doing here?" He snarls, and Todoroki merely blinks, bored.
"Is it not friendly to drop in for some company?" He asks, and if you knew Todoroki any less, you'd never know it was his way of riling Katsuki up.
And it hasn't failed once.
Katsuki balls his fist, "not when I'm not fucking home, you freak!"
"Katsuki, enough," you snarl back. Two heads whip towards you, one set of eyes filled with fury, the other with surprise. “Maybe you should’ve been here when Shoto stopped by. This weird complex you’re in wouldn’t be a damn issue.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” His words are a growl deep behind a wall of teeth, but you’re so tired it doesn’t deter you. You clench your hands and finally curl them into fists. “You got something to say to me?”
You grit your teeth, “Shoto's been here for how long? You haven’t. You wanted him out so bad? You should’ve fucking been here. You weren’t. So bite me.” You quickly spin on your heel as stinging tears burn your waterline, leaving the two heroes alone in the living room.
Katsuki barks your name, “we’re not done here!”
“I am.”
You purposely slam the door, knowing it’s one of his biggest pet peeves. He deserves it, and a lot more. Katsuki yells a bit more, too much of a ferocious tone to fully grasp what he’s saying, and it’s matched with Todoroki’s calm demeanor. He kicks Todoroki out, which you hear, and you brace yourself as he stomps into the bedroom, ready for the explosion that's hurdling straight towards you.
But it never comes.
Instead, you watch the bathroom door open and close, and then a few moments later, you hear the shower turn on. Confusion twists through your mind as you try to piece together just exactly what happened, but ultimately drawing only blanks. You sigh and strip into your pajamas, deciding to call it a night before he comes in and stirs the pot more.
He can do it tomorrow.
Though your heart does break a little when you wake up to find the bed next to you cold and made; he must’ve crashed on the couch last night, too enveloped with his fury to come and make amends.
That's fine. You're patient.
Sunday is tense, a day Katsuki usually reserves off to spend time at home, he's made the executive decision to go into work, leaving you to mourn the love lost in the day, love you usually receive in the melting day. Todoroki comes by again, this time to check in on you after the fight he'd witnessed the day before. And to your disappointment, Katsuki arrives home at the same time, briskly brushing past you and your friend.
Monday comes and goes, once again the bed next to you remains cold in wordless grudge. You're not going to apologize, you have no need to.
Even if this is the end of your relationship.
What's there to work through? After forcing you into a life where affection is miniscule and tokes of appreciation are seen as nothing more than an option, perhaps its for the best to let the embers die, and-
No.
You don't want it to be the end. Not like this. Not now. Not after years of giving Bakugou Katsuki your entire life, promising to stand by him through thick and thin.
You'll bite your tongue until it hurts. Until he decides what he wants to do. You're loyal as a dog to him, after all. The ball remains in his court, always.
By Tuesday, Katsuki comes in, and he doesn’t even look at you. He washes his hands before shambling off to the showers to mimic some form of warmth you’d once provided him. When you hear the shower head turn on, you curl deeper into your corner of the couch, lowering your eyes to try and fight back the tears that sting at your waterline.
Maybe he is done. Maybe this is it. He’s sick of waiting for you, sick of your shit and tired of the exhaust you put on his mentality. Work comes first, and if there was ever a time to enforce it, it would be now.
With a soft whimper to mask your cries, you click off the tv and creep your way up the stairs. It’s dark in your room, the pictures of you and Katsuki invisible until you flick on the light- even then, they’re not as pristine as they had looked just days ago.
The bed is once again cold and feels far too big as you curl up on your side, knowing if you roll onto his, you’ll be met with a hand waking you up and pushing you away.
You’re not in the mood for that tonight.
Not when for months at a time, he’s been shoving you away, be it with mean words or snaps of venom or just actually moving you from his space, you can’t possibly conjure the mood in your little pity party to care for him to disregard you in such brutal ways.
But fuck, god, no matter how much you want to believe it, that you can just as easily fall asleep without him next to you, snores punching through the air and the occasional lull of his head next to yours, you can't, and you hate how bitter and horrible a life without Bakugou Katsuki sounds.
You hate how your life revolves around him, and you wish it didn't, you hate how empty your soul would be without his name coming up on your phone, you hate that you fell so hard for Bakugou Katsuki that a life without him doesn't exist.
You'll never leave him. It makes you feel sick.
What you wouldn't sell, what you wouldn't give, to have Bakugou Katsuki love you just as much as you do, him.
But, as if manifested, no more than an hour later, he does come in. Your name falling from his lips sounds timid, like he's unsure if he should be saying it. "Listen," he snips, lip quivering as he sinks his teeth into the fat, eyes swollen from tears and looking so defeated you're almost convinced it’s not even the Bakugou Katsuki you fell in love with all those years ago.
You slowly sit up, curling up by the pillows as he stands in the doorway, disheveled and frustrated and extremely, clearly, hurt.
“You win,” he whimpers, hands cupped over his mouth to mimic a paper bag, regulating his breathing. They suddenly drop to the side, “you-you-you win. I can’t do this anymore, I won’t, I fucking give, you win-“
“Win what?” You ask, but it’s clear in your demeanor that you know exactly what he’s confessing to, even as you’re dazed from sleep.
You just want him to say it.
Katsuki uses his sleeve to roughly rub the tears out of his eyes, “just fucking stop, okay?” He growls, and it sends a shiver through you as it passes his teeth. “You fucking win, okay? I-I-I was wrong, I never should’ve said shit about you and Todoroki’s friendship, or said shit-fuck about you spending time with him when I should’ve been here.” He lets one, saliva filled sob sneak past his lips, it’s like a dam of words break loose. “But fuck, please just fucking look at me again, I’m sorry, I just hate the idea that you’ll fall for him while trying to get back at me, so please just love me again-“
At that, you jump up to your feet and quickly scurry over to him, brows furrowed in concern but lip pouting out as you toss your arms around him, his knees buckling under your touch and arms limply hanging. “-because I sure wouldn’t blame you if you did leave me for him after how I’ve been treating you.”
“Katsuki,” you soothe, a hand reaching up to scratch at his scalp. “That’s not going to happen. That’s not what this was to show you.” You plant kisses along his jawline, hating the feeling of it quivering under your affection. “This wasn’t to show you that my feelings for Shoto become more romantic when you’re not here; it was to show you what you were missing when you could’ve been here.” He slouches further at your words, and you wonder if they were the correct ones to say.
“Katsuki,” you say again, firmly, gathering his cheeks in your hands. They’re hot, fuck they’re so warm from his distress, and and you feel what little coolness your palms held disappear into the swells. “You’re not going to lose me to Shoto. I would never leave you for Shoto- I’d never leave you for anyone.” He blinks unconvinced at you, and one of his tears roll over your fingers. “But you will miss dinners. You will miss movies. You will miss time with me if you don’t stop only thinking of yourself in this relationship. What you’re doing now clearly isn’t meshing with what I need. What we need from each other. I can only be so flexible before I wonder when we’ll… when I’ll stop bothering.”
“I don’t want to stop,” he mumbles, trying to chase even more coolness in your palms. “I just… I want to be the best-“
“And you are, but you can’t betray yourself by overworking yourself-“
“No,” he bites through his teeth. “The best for you. But… Todoroki can give you the best shit effortlessly, I fucking see it. And…” he winces as he stands up, as if disgusted to even say what dares to slip past his tongue. “And he can give you the life you want, the life you deserve; I just cant fucking watch it anymore.”
“Shhh,” you soothe, pulling his reluctant form into a hug. He tenses, but eventually rests his head in the crook of your neck, trembling hands settling on your waist gently, as if scared you’d break under the touch. Your nails move up to his scalp, scratching lovingly.
“Shoto is a mild-mannered, quiet spoken person who thinks logically about everything he says and does,” You whisper, planting a soft kiss to his pounding temple.
“I love that about him, as a friend- but you, Katsuki, are exciting. And you make loving you just as addictive.”
He does, finally, perk up at that, and you smile against his skin. “Say more stuff like that,” he mumbles, sniffling, but you tighten your arms around him while you giggle softly at the idea of having your old Bakugo back.
“Shoto and I go to the market together, we’re in and out in twenty minutes tops- but if that’s what I wanted, I’d go alone,” he lets out a breathy chuckle, and you grin, “I like bickering with you in the dairy aisle about flavors of milk to get.”
“If I wanted chocolate milk, I’d get the syrup,” he defends, as if you’re standing in the aisle and not picking up the pieces of your relationship in your bedroom.
“And then when the milk is all gone, I have you bitching at me about the syrup getting wasted,” you snort. “It’s just easier if I get-“
“I love you,” he whispers, his hot breath fanning out over your neck. You pause and smile, relishing in the scent of his post-shower aroma.
“I love you,” you say back, kissing whatever your lips can reach against his head. “Once a week, Katsuki. I want to go to bed with you at least once a week, and not be left away absolutely panicked over where the hell you may have gone. I’d like to have dinner with you at some point in the week. I hate missing you, I always have, even when we were teens.” When he finally nods softly, you pull back with your hands cupping his cheeks, the swollen apples looking foreign on your usually solid man. You smirk and use your thumb to wipe his tears, “you’ve always been an ugly crier.”
He chokes softly on a laugh, “why do you think I never do it?” He licks his dry lips before looking you up and down, “leave that shit to you.”
“It is nice seeing you emotional over me for once.”
“Yeah?” He rasps. Then, he tugs you in for a kiss, one that sears and tears at your teeth and tongue, one that feels exhilarating and exhausting all at once, one that encapsulates Katsuki in one swift, dominating move.
It’s jagged and rough, but familiar enough to have you swooning in his bulky, caring arms.
"So, you don't love me anymore?" You mumbled, hands in your lap, shoulders hunched, the defeated look in your eyes, as if you are genuinely questioning his love for you.
"You are seriously asking me that." Bakugou groans, impatiently taping his foot on the ground as he waits for the driver to be here, "I have your full name tattooed on my rib."
"Love can fade, you know." You sigh dramatically, laying down on the carpet as you stare at the ceiling, "There are thousand others with my name." You close your eyes, turning away from him, "You are slipping through my fingers, Bakugou."
He watches, as you pretend to die from heart ache in your dressing room, amused smile painting his lips, "All this because I didn't let you mess up my face."
"You refused my kiss!" You sit up abruptly, hunching forward as you kneel infront of him, "Be honest, Bakugou, you didn't want your other girlfriend to see my lipstick on you-"
He steps forward, cutting your words, pressing his lips messily against yours, when he pulls away, there is a thick, glossy, cherry pink gloss smeared around his lips.
"Done throwing a tantrum?" He rasps, baritone voice deep, sending tingles down your core, you shake your head, "Wanna mark me up more?" He huffs a laugh, as you hazily nod your head.
He leans over, grabbing the tube of gloss, applying it carefully over your lips, before capping it, he watches you shuffle closer. "Be patient, brat." He rasps, squeezing your cheeks together to pucker your lips.
You lean in clumsily, intending to press your lips against his, but reaching his chin, you sit up straighter, arms wrapping around his shoulders, as you plant kisses all across his face. Laying back down, to admire his stained skin with love sick eyes.
"Done?" He hums, parting your legs and laying in between them, one hand slipping under your head, to cushion it against the carpeted floor. "Have to be a menace every damn day."
"A lady can't even love her man now." You huff, pushing a his chest in faux annoyance, trying to get his weight of yourself.
"Oi," He rasps against the column of your throat, free hand rubbing against your sides, he leans in further, putting more weight on you, "I let you love me just fine." Dipping down to suckle against your pulse.
Your breath hitches, warmth spreading in your belly, fingers scratching his undercut, as you pull him closer, toes curling.
He groans, hand fisting the hem of your shirt, silently asking for your permission, you hummed against him, letting him tuck it under your chin, lips wrapping around your bare nipple, suckling gently.
"Ah Suki-" You let out a breath, hips rutting weakly against his jeans clad thigh, hoping for friction against your needy little clit.
And suddenly he gets off you, large frame hulking over you as he stands up, "Have a meeting, babe, the one you were marking me up for."
He snorts at you dumbfounded expression, brows furrowed as you looked at him in confusion and annoyance, "I'll return all that loving when I get back." He struts out of the room, before you could drag him back down.
warnings:- a lot of swearing, mentions of bullying.
part 1 part 2 part 3
you felt numb. time flowed on, moving forward without any empathy for you. for the first few days, you barely registered anything that happened around you. you walked the halls of ua as a ghost. your friends were concerned for you, alarmed at your state. they kept trying to talk to you, to comfort you but you shut them all out.
you came to class, doing everything in your power not to look at the blonde figure sitting a few desks away from you. he sat at his desk, relaxed, his feet on the table, like absolutely nothing had happened. like everything was normal.
it filled you with an indescribable rage. you wanted to go over there and punch that stupid fucking nonchalant look off his face. but you were too scared that if you went there, you would accidentally collapse into his arms, seeking his warmth, always.
you were mourning someone who was still alive.
you walked to the cafeteria, taking a seat by mina, not really registering any of the conversation around you. you looked ahead, strictly looking ahead in a straight line so that it didn't stray to the blonde man sitting a few tables to your left, alone and on his fucking phone again.
probably texting his girlfriend. you tried to hide the heart wrenching jab you felt at that thought by rolling your eyes, but you could feel the tears again. pissed off, you wiped at your eyes. you were not going to shed any more tears on him.
you stood up, your food half finished. you didn't feel like eating anymore, your appetite suddenly gone.
you stood at the balcony in one of the ua hallways. class wasn't for another hour and you needed some air. you closed your eyes and breathed in the cool breeze falling on your face, blowing a few strands of your hair away from your face.
it felt nice and...familiar. like that day you told bakugou that you loved him. you shook your head. absolutely not.
you were not going to let your mind stray there again. you let your head rest in your hands on the railing, taking deep breaths.
then you felt someone standing beside you. your eyes snapped open as you instinctively took a step back, already on flight or fight mode. your eyes widened and you relaxed slightly as they landed on a head of green hair, belonging to...midoriya?
he was standing in the same position you were a minute ago, hands on the railing, head leaned outwards to take in the air, but his eyes shifted from the view to you.
your lips parted but no sound came out at first. you cleared your throat and looked away, "um..why are you here?" midoriya's eyes widened a little, as if he was caught off guard by your question.
he looked away as well, scratching the back of his head with his hand, a sheepish look on his face, "i..uh i saw you walk out of the cafeteria and i guess i...followed you?"
both of you realize what he just said at the same time and you frown as he starts visibly sweatdropping, shaking his hands in front of you as he tries to explain himself,
"w-wait no..not in that way, of course! i had absolutely zero ulterior motives, i'm not creepy i swear! i just..i saw how you were so quiet recently compared to how energetic you are usually. and i got worried so i followed you out here, not that i think you can't take care of yourself of course! i just-"
you tune him out as he rambles on like his usual self but your mind remains stuck on his words, 'i was worried about you.'
had you heard him right? why in the world would midoriya out of all people be worried about you?
"i.." your softly utter, breaking him out of his rambling trance. "did you just say.. that you were worried about me?"
he frowns softly, "well, yes obviously. how could i not be? you've been acting very different recently, and i noticed that baku-"
"but why? you should..you should hate me."
his eyes widened drastically as he took a tiny step towards you, "why would i hate you?" the way he looked at you, confused and head tilted, like there was actually a possibility that he didn't hate you, you could feel yourself cracking, tearing at the seams,
"why wouldn't you? i was horrible to you! i saw him hurt you so many times and i did nothing! i never helped you, not once! you should absolutely detest me!"
he looked alarmed as he saw something in your face, taking a full step toward you now, hands reaching out, "yn, you were the reason kacchan stopped. if i were to hate anyone, it would never be you. you were the one who told him to stop."
now you were confused, "what..? i..all i did was tell him to stop giving you attention. i said it literally once. how could i possibly be the reason he stopped?"
midoriya pressed on, "you were the only person he actually listened to, yn. you made him lay off-" "that was still the bare minimum, midoriya. i never helped you. i was horrible to you, i saw the way you looked at me for help and i never did any-"
"you did help! you couldn't do more because you were worried you would loose kacchan, right?"
you eyes widened to saucers. he had read you like a book. you looked down.
"so...you don't hate me?"
he smiled softly, "of course not yn."
and you didn't know what it was. if it was the wind blowing all around you, making you dizzy with nostalgia, or the fucking warmth in his gaze, but the seams broke open as your bag of guilt came smashing against the wall you'd erected around your emotions, only hardened after bakugou left, making all your emotions rush out like an avalanche.
sobs racked your body as you curled over yourself, folding your body in half as relief and deep rooted guilt as well as overwhelming sadness flooded through you. midoriya was immediately alarmed and right at your side, patting your shoulder for comfort, wondering what exactly was appropriate to do in this situation.
however, appropriateness flew out the window for you as you fell into his arms. they instinctively wrapped around you, holding you close.
you could barely stand because of the way your sobs made your whole body convulse and lurch forward. you were certain you would have collapsed into a heap on the floor if not for midoriya.
"s-sorry..for getting y-your shirt w-wet.." you stammered out in between sobs, still not making any move to get out of his embrace. he chuckled a little, in spite of himself, "it's fine yn. i have plenty of shirts. you can let it all out. i'm here."
you sobbed into his shirt for a bit longer before stepping out of his arms. you both sat down, leaning your backs on the railings as you took a few deep breaths, "..thanks for that. i honestly needed it." "no problem."
you looked down at your lap, "midoriya...i..i know you think you shouldn't hate me. and you can't believe how relieved i am that you actually don't. but you truly had every right to do so. i may not have hurt you directly but by seeing it all happen and doing absolutely nothing to stop it, i was just as guilty."
you looked up at him. his eyes were wide and his lips were slightly parted, "i know i don't deserve your forgiveness. but i am truly so so sorry midoriya. if i could go back in time, i would be right there beside you. i would have helped you up and i am so sorry that i didn't. nothing excuses my behaviour...and i know i have no right to but..i really hope we can..be friends?"
he smiled after you spilled your word vomit and softly said, "friends. i like the sound of that." you smiled right back at him.
bakugou absentmindedly fumbled with his phone, going from the calculator to the calendar app, having absolutely no idea what he was doing.
he kept sneaking glances at the table a little farther away to his right. his friends were sitting there and..so were you. he had noticed the change in your demeanour. of course he fucking had. even the neighbouring classes had started sending worried glances your way.
and every time he thought about the reason behind it, his chest would do a weird little spasm and it hurt like fucking hell so he just didn't. he couldn't. because that look on your face that day. fuck. he had never hated himself any more than he had at that moment. not when he had ended all might's career or even when that dumbass deku got ahead of him.
his chest had felt like it was being crushed with a sledgehammer and he just couldn't get your face from that day out of his mind. he swore for the god knows how many-eth time that day, trying to redirect his mind.
he suddenly noticed movement in the corner of his way. you were getting up and he followed your figure in his peripheral vision. he felt the urge to go follow you when he saw something green chase after you...what the fuck? was that fucking deku?!
he didn't even register his feet standing up but soon enough he was hiding behind a wall, like a fucking coward as he eavesdropped on your conversation with deku. his frown grew more and more as the minutes passed. his whole body jolted and he almost gave himself away when he heard you sobbing.
he quickly hid behind the wall again, but his eyes widened to the size of plates as he looked over and saw you shaking in deku's arms. now he was shaking, his whole body protesting against him as it begged him to go there. to hold you. to make your tears stop.
but he couldn't.
he stood frozen in place as you calmed down, sitting down on the floor with deku beside you. he was green with envy as he saw how you smiled up at deku.
his heart gave a painful lurch as he wondered if he would ever get to make you laugh again as you fucking giggled at something that stupid deku said.
the sledgehammer feeling was back again as he saw you walk by with deku on your heels, both of you smiling and talking like a happy fucking couple.
that should be him. why the fuck would you give all of that to deku of all people?!
his thoughts raced at a hundred miles an hour, going too fast for him to keep up. had you moved on already? were you with that fucking broccoli head now?! he rubbed at his chest when it felt as if someone was brutally ripping his heart out. a single tear rolled down his cheek as he slid to the floor.
he had lost you and he had no one to blame but himself.
: ̗̀➛ takes place during their third year, mentions of injuries and blood, forced intake of aphrodisiac, unestablished relationship, mutual pining, love confession, both characters are 18, protected sex, implied unprotected sex, virgnity loss, misunderstandings, a bit angsty, bakugou is lowky ooc and gentle, this is really long
following a rough battle with a rather inconvenient villian and his quirk, y/n finds herself induced with aphrodisiac against her will. she wins the encounter, only to be told if she doesn't relieve her sexual desires within 24 hours with another individual she will die.
"i'll be the one to do it," mineta says, trying to sound nonchalant about the situation, flipping his non-existent hair off to the side if his shoulder. the girls, in unison, disagree verbally, knowing of his creepy tendencies.
"can't she just do it with a girl?" tsuyuri thinks aloud, attempting to find an easy way for you to feel more comfortable with the situation. "if that's the case, then i'll do it!" ashido declares, raising her hand in the air.
this has been the subject of conversation for the past hour or so. yes, your classmates and even teachers are conversing on what to do about your current state, on who will be the one to sleep with you. it's almost heartwarming, to know that your classmates care so much about you that they'd be willing to sleep with you if it means you'll live.
which is exactly what it means. exactly nine hours ago, you had a confrontation with a well-wanted villian. you knew of the risks, you knew of his horrendous and taboo quirk. you knew that he used his quirk to take advantage of women who were defenseless and practically leaving them for dead within 24 hours of interaction.
quirks like these were rare, none of your classmates nor teachers had any experience with this type of thing. originally, the teachers were going to discuss of this situation privately, but after almost three hours had gone by with no real possible solutions, they had decided to involve your dearest classmates to come up with something, anything to help save your life.
"no, according to the villian and the tiny information we were able to get out of him, it has to be done with a male." midnight had said, rubbing at her temple to ease her stress. your female classmates groaned with frustration, side-eyeing mineta with disgust.
"t-then i'll do it!" a new contender had volunteered. "y-you? y/n needs a real man, denki—," jirou had said, trying to play of her nervousness with a chuckle. "i agree." momo said sternly.
"no offense but.. how about the boys leave this discussion to the boys." she added on, having distrust in the intentions of her male classmates. "i know you boys just want to do what you can to help her, but we also have to think about how this will affect her mentally."
the topic carried on with the girls, occasionally one of the boys attempted to give a idea, but were almost immediately shot down due to it's risk.
admist to all the tension and debate, there was one who was uncharacteristically quiet. bakugou katsuki.
all of the boys were huddled into a circle, behind the girls, listening into their plan. however, it was bakugou who stuck out like a sore thumb. he kept his hands in his pockets, a rather stoic expression written onto his face as he stared up to the ceiling.
"i'll do it! you guys just gotta trust me!" mineta yelled once more, his body jolting with fear when he was met with clear resistance from the girls.
everyone was too wrapped up in figuring out a game-plan to even notice that bakugou had taken his leave, muttering a scoff at his classmates's immaturity and perversion.
he made his way to the dorms, his hand rubbing at the tense skin of his nape. bakugou stopped in his tracks, seemingly he wasn't the only one who had the same idea. his hands returned to their place in his pockets, his eyebrows furrowing at the sight of his classmate, todoroki shouto, standing a few feet away from your dorm room.
"what are you doing here?" bakugou asked, resting his body weight on his right leg. todoroki looked back at bakugou calmly, observing the blonde's stiff movements. "i want to help y/n-san." todoroki stated, glancing back at the door of your room.
bakugou scoffed at his answer, rolling his eyes to the back of his head. "yeah right—you?" he hissed, coming up to todoroki and shoving him away from your door. "don't make me laugh. i'll be the one to do it."
todoroki stayed in place for a moment, blinking at bakugou's aggression and determination. he glanced once more at your door, and then back to bakugou before sighing with defeat and turning around to head god knows where.
bakugou scoffed once more, not taking his eyes off todoroki until he was well out of his sight. bakugou turned around, his red eyes staring intently at your door. he chewed on the walls of his mouth, wondering how to go about the situation.
as brash as he may be—he's not an idiot. he knows that if you don't end up getting any help within a few mere hours, you'll die. and thats not what he wants. to stand and watch while his dumb classmates argue over who will be the one to have the honor of having sex with you is something he won't abide with.
ೄྀ࿐
a soft moan escaped your lips at the feel of your fingers caressing against your sensitive folds. a drop of sweat ran down your flushed face, running down to your collarbone and dampening the sheer tank you were wearing.
there was a knot in your abdomen, a very tight knot, that has been yet to be undone. normally, when you had this kind of urge, you'd be able to satisfy it yourself. but it's been nearly eight hours since you'be been drugged, and the effects only get more and more intense with every passing minute.
you're tired. your body is coated in a thick layer of sweat, the room smells grossly of your own scent, and it's been eight hours—yet no release. tears sting at your waterline, your hand coming up to cover your pathetic whines and cries as your fingers scissor their way into your cunt, trying to find relief to your frustration.
you gasp with pleasure when your finger nails press ever so slightly against that one spot, hazy eyes going wide when you finally find it. your back arches off the bed, toes curling when you can barely press your fingerpads against that sweet spot, but nonetheless it's something.
your body jolts when you hear a light knock at your door, hands flying to grab onto your blanket to hide your half-naked body. you sat frozen on your bed, eyes watching the door.
a couple of moments later, once again the visitor knocked, snapping you out of your haze. you rushed to find any pajamas or clothes to wear, eventually settling on a pair of grey pajama shorts. the visitor knocks again once more, earning a groan from you. "g-give me a second!" you hiss loudly, dusting off your body and finally walking up to your door.
with a deep inhale, you open up your door a few inches, hiding your sweat-ridden body behind the large frame and peeking out your head to see the visitor.
your heart drops into your stomach at the sight of the familar blonde, his red eyes lidded low at you. "b-bakugou?" you stutter out, your cheeks blushing intensely when you feel your core throb at just the sight of him. "what... are you doing here?" you say, swallowing down the fat lump in your throat.
bakugou stares at you, his facial expressions uncharacteristically calm and unreadable. "..isn't it obvious?" he says nonchalantly, taking a step towards the door. his low tone heats up your body, making you impossibly warmer with embarrassment to top it off with your seemingly insatiable desire.
still, you don't move from the door, and if anything, push it forward so only a few centimeters remain between the frame and the door itself. your forehead rests against the wood, contemplating your options.
bakugou katsuki has come to your door to do the obvious with you. for many others, this would be a dream come true—and it almost is, for you, almost. tears cloud your vision once more at the thoughts that run throughout your head, he's only here because you'll die.
"let me in y/n,—", "no, i don't want you here." you interrupt, still hiding behind the door. bakugou's eyes widen slightly at your refrusal, not expecting you to shut him down given the situation.
to you, it's almost insulting—bakugou katsuki is here to have sex with you, to save you. your crush of many years, is here to have sex with you, but only because he feels the need to save you, not because he wants to.
bakugou sighs silently, he knows its a sensitive matter, that you're practically forced to have sex with someome that you possibly don't like just to live. his fists tighten up into a ball, his eyebrows furrowing at your stubbornness. but he won't have you die, he won't knowing he could help you.
"y/n. open the door or i'm going to break it down myself." he says sternly, his voice raising slightly. it sends shivers down your spine, but still you hold your ground. alas, you find it within yourself to close the door, only for it to be held open by bakugou who most definitely overpowers you when it comes to strength. with a grunt, your already weak arms give in, quickly dropping back to the floor as the door slams against the wall now that bakugou has won the short game of tug-o-war.
bakugou makes his way into your room, not even caring to check if the door handle has made a new hole in the wall. his mouth opens, ready to say something, only to purse into a straight line when he sees the tears flowing down your cheeks.
"i don't want you here." you mumble out, attempting to hide your tears by wiping them away as quick as they came.
with a grunt, bakugou is pulling you up to your feet, his hands gripping onto your shoulders while his lips smash against yours. the kiss is rough, almost uncomfortably stiff. and yet, you almost let out a moan of satisfaction just by him giving the worst kiss ever. he pulls away a moment later, his hands keeping you in place.
not like you'd be able to walk away even if you wanted, your gaze was fixated on his soft features, eyeing those lips of his. this time, it's bakugou whose walking away—and it's you who is running after him.
with haste, you push yourself forward to the blonde, your hand wrapping around his wrist and pulling him back to you. bakugou breathes out a grunt when your lips collide with his once more, desperate and clumsy, more teeth than tongue. you can't help but grab into bakugou's broad shoulders before finding better purchase by wrapping them around his neck, feet on all toes in order to reach his lips.
bakugou pulls away from you, quickly shutting the door and locking it. though, he barely has time to do the second, as soon as the door is closed, you're pushing him against it and shoving your body against his, encapturing his lips with yours once again. he swallows your desperate whines, his tongue fighting for dominance against yours. it's messy, it's not at all in sync—but just that alone has your body heating up than what you thought was possible.
and bakugou can feel it. his hands find purchase on the small of your waist—your skin is hot to the touch, almost fever hot. he raises an eyebrow when the feel of his skin on yours alone has you letting out a soft moan, much to your embarrassment. experimentally, bakugou's hands travel down to the curve of your ass, squeezing the plump flesh lightly, earning a gasp from your lips.
seeing this, bakugou pulls away from you, a fat string of saliva connecting the two of you. his red eyes watch you tortuously, watching the way your delicate features contort with pleasure as his hands explore your ass, his squeezes getting more and more rough as your body reacts. his finger glides up to the hems of your shorts, playing with the drawstrings and eventually pulling on one to untie the knot, allowing your flimsy excuse of so-called shorts to drop and lay around your feet.
your cheeks burn at the way he stares closely at your half-naked body, eyes darting down to the ground when you realize that you didn't even put on any underwear. to you, bakugou is eyeing your body, looking for any imperfections and unsatisfying marks.
but to bakugou, he has to hold back a groan by biting on his lower lip at the sight of your bare cunt. his hands tighten it's grip on your hips, attempting to keep his composure. bakugou finally pushes himself off the door, leading you quickly by the small of your waist to your bed.
with a gentle shove, you're laying down onto your back, your legs dangling off the edge of the mattress. your eyes widen when bakugou's hands grab the hems of his shirt, pulling it up to his head and discarding of his shirt, revealing his rather toned abs and few scars he's gained in the various fights he's gotten into as a hero.
your mouth is agape in awe, practically drooling at the sight of his fit muscles and small waist. without another word, your hand subconsciously reaches for him, generously touching the muscles of his abdomen. for the first time of the night, bakugou finally shows some emotion, smirking widely at your infatuation with his abs.
"i know i got some great abs, huh?" he grins, his hand coming up to rest on the flesh of your thigh. his grin flattens to an slightly agape 'O' when your hand travels down lower to his lower pelvis, your nails caressing the skin, sending shivers down his spine. dangerously, it continues, your fingers meddling with the edge of his baggy pants, circling the metal button.
before you could do anything else, bakugou is grabbing your hand away, and much to your surprise, settles himself inbetween your bare legs, eyeing your exposed cunt. naturally, you rush to close your legs, but are stopped by his hands that rest on both of your inner thighs.
"don't try to hide yourself from me." he growls lowly, his cock growing hard in his pants at the fuller sight of your glistening cunt. a yelp leaves your throat when you are pulled closer to the edge of your bed, cunt mere centimeters from bakugou's face. your eyes close shut, palm hiding your face in embarrassment.
"open your damn eyes, you're gonna watch as i eat this pretty pussy." he hisses out before blowing lightly onto your folds, enjoying the way your thighs shiver. with a lick of his lips, bakugou dives into your cunt, his tongue dragging across your folds and into your core. you let out a rather loud moan at the feel of his tongue exploring your cunt, your hands diving down to entangle themselves in his short blonde locks.
as told, you watch bakugou devour your poor pussy through tears, moaning into your palm to not let anyone hear the way you're getting eaten out by one of your classmates. your eyes roll to the back of your head when you feel bakugou enter his index finger into your tight walls, massaging your gummy walls without mercy.
"bakugou.." you mewl out, back arching off the bed when you feel the knot in your stomach begin to unravel. the fingers tied in his hair pull tightly on his roots, earning a hum of satisfaction leave his lips, vibrating against your clit so deliciously it has you sobbing out his name within seconds and squirming within his tight hold as you cum. tears run down your cheeks as your body convulses with pleasure, eyebrows furrowed intensely as your first orgasm of the night washes over you.
a minute later, you finally come down to earth, chest heaving heavily as your eyes focus down to bakugou who licks up the remains of your delicious juices. it's so over stimulating, but it feels so good, the way his tongue laps up your cum as if he was a starved man.
for a second, you close your eyes, basking in the sweet after-glow of your orgasm before a familar vibrating sound snaps you out of your bliss. bakugou holds up the pink bullet-vibrator within his hand, cocking his head to the right. "this yours?" he asks teasingly, a sly grin painted into his face.
before you could respond, bakugou is pressing the bullet against your clit, sending waves of overstimulated pleasure up your spine. you wiggle and shift on your bed, attempting to get away from it, from him, but in the heat of the moment you seem to have forgotten of bakugou's trained strength. he pins your hips onto the bed with ease with one hand, and holds the bullet to your clit with the other.
he evilly chuckles into your cunt, his tongue gliding into your tight hole. your cries and pleas are melodies to his ears, and he only stops when your thighs are shaking for a second time around his head and your pussy walls are tightening up around his tongue. he hungrily laps up your fluids once more, the tip of his nose brushing up against your clit as he discards of the vibrator in order to grab onto the back of your thighs and practically smothers himself into your pussy.
finally, once he's deemed you cleaned up and not an ounce of your cum wasted, he pulls away from your drenched pussy. his chin glistens with your juices, his tongue lapping up any remains on his lips. his ruby red eyes watch as your chest heaves up and down, his hand grabbing your wrist that was covering your flushed face and discarding it to the side.
he passionately kisses you, not like the kisses you two shared earlier. rather, your inhaling his heavy breaths as his hips roll subconsciously into yours, his hard-on poking against your inner thigh. "bakugou.." you exhaled against his lips, your hand sliding inbetween your close bodies to palm his confined cock.
bakugou lets out a almost pained groan, his eyebrows furrowing at the feel of your hand brushing against his cock's tip. "fuck.." he groans, his head dipping down to your chest when your hand slides below his trousers and over his confined boner. "wanna help you too bakugou," you mumble shyly, batting those pretty eyelashes at him.
the tempered blonde seems to have been frozen in place at your unexpected boldness, his cock growing impossibly harder at your words. he curses under his breath when your hand glides in between the gap of his boxers, your fingers coming into contact with the skin of his cock.
you're so unexpected. it's all bakugou can ever think of. unlike all the others, you've surprised him the most. you've surprised him with your wits—instead of strength and speed. no matter how mean or offensive he's been to you, you've been nothing but a saint—going so far to even nurse him back to health after a particularly aggressive battle with a villian.
thats why he had to be the one to help you. after all you've done for him, he had to return the favor in the one time he could save your life, even if it meant having sex would save you. he wasn't about to let those ungrateful, clueless extras do it with you either when they didn't deserve the opportunity to have you so vulnerable for them.
and having sex with you doesn't seem too bad, not in the slightest. especially not when your hand is pumping his cock so deliciously. bakugou's lips apart slightly, a sharp gasp escaping when your palm tightens around his sensitive cock.
you jolt when bakugou's own hand wraps around your wrist firmly, practically slapping it away from his cock. you look up at him with filmy eyes, looking for an explanation within his own. "gotta focus on you," he mumbles under his breath, his hands coming down to your hips and dragging you down to him.
bakugou finally begins to undo his belt, the metal buckle causing your ears to tingle. he pushes down his pants to his lower thighs, for a second he glances up at you, to which you can see a small glimpse of the red tint that covers the apples of his cheeks and the way he stares intently at your features, most likely waiting to see your reaction.
he slides his dark red boxers down to the middle of his thighs, just enough to free his cock of his uncomfortable confines. and, just wow, maybe it's because you're quite literally drugged with a sex drug, or maybe he's just that perfect—but just the sight of his cock has your pathetic pussy walls clenching and throbbing around nothing.
your mouth salivates at the mere thought of his cock, and just now seeing it—god you just want him to fuck you already. without a thought, your hand reaches once more for him, only for bakugou to pin your wrist down to the side of your body, his own climbing on top of the bed. your legs come to rest on each sides of his hips, his thighs underneath yours while he sits on his knees.
it seems you're not the only one so horny, afterall, as bakugou wrapped his hand around cock, his hips inching closer to yours, his body jolted, eyes widening. his sudden movement has your heart dropping in your stomach, a cold sweat breaking out on your body. "w-what? what is it?" you stutter out, your hand crossing defensively over your clothed chest.
bakugou's cheeks seem to bloom more a shade of red as he leans back, searching for something in his pocket. "hah.. i almost forgot the condom.." he says, taking out the unmistaken small square packet out of his pocket.
you chuckle lightly at the mistake, feeling embarrassment for yourself as well. to think that you two were so wrapped up in the heat of the moment that you almost forgot the condom gives such a strange feeling in your stomach.
finally, bakugou puts the condom on, a bit shaky with embarrassment as he slides it on. all prepared, he looks up at you—possibly the calmest you've ever seen him, but there's a hint of seriousness and maybe even care with the way his eyebrows are furrowed lightly or how his eyes never leave your face.
"ready?" he asks cautiously, his hand gripped onto the underside of your thigh with the other resting on the side of your lower stomach. with your nod of approval, bakugou meets his thighs to your ass, his cock tip pressing lightly against your virgin hole.
before bakugou could go any further, your soft sobs stop him. his head immediately snaps up to yours, his eyes wide with shock. your eyes are once again wet with tears, eyebrows arched and lips frowning.
"i know this is not very convenient, y/n, but if we don't do this, you'll die-", he tries to say before he's interrupted by your sobs and hiccups. through fat tears and incoherent sentences, you finally manage to say something clear.
"it's not that." you practically hiss, surprising the blonde. "..then what is it?" he urges, a confused expression forming on his face. with a loud sigh, you groan loudly with anger and sadness, practically throwing your hands to your face as you try to wipe away your never-ending tears.
"i d-didn't want it to be like t-this!" you sob loudly, your shoulders jumping with every hiccup. before bakugou could press any further, the years of untold suffering and thoughts just came rushing to you, spilling out of your mouth like vomit. "i-i didn't w-want it to be l-like this! to happen like this!"
"oh my g-god! bakugou i've been in love with you since i've m-met you—and it–it hurts—for it to happen this way—you're only doing this just b-because you f-feel obligated to do i-it—not because you l-love me—" you mumble out, hands covering your eyes to avoid seeing his reaction.
"for it to ha-happen this way—it's like a whole prank..! like a fucking—slap in the face!" you say, practically yelling the last part as your hands fly down to the bed with frustration, finally meeting bakugou's gaze. your sobs quiet down, stomach churning at the realization of the word vomit you just had.
you thought he would be weirded out, maybe even make fun of you for it. but instead, bakugou is now looking at you with an unfamiliar gaze, full of something that seems to just be more than politeness and friendly care. sure, he's not smiling, but the way his red eyes are half-lidded, pupils dilated so big they might as well just be black, his eyebrows no longer furrowed but instead arched upwards with what seems to be surprise.
before you could say anything else, waves of sharp pain are shot up your spine as bakugou unexpectedly pushes in the tip of his cock, his arms now finding purchase by wrapping around your waist, lowering himself closer to you.
his lips press yours, slow and steady as he inches his fat cock into you. he pulls away from your lips with a grunt, his eyebrows arched downwards as he tries to set aside the way your cunt feels so heavenly wrapped around the end of his cock.
"i'm sorry for how i've been treating you." he says lowly, his teeth nipping at the pristine skin of your collarbone. "i just didn't know how to tell you—didn't think you felt the s-same," he breathes out, stuttering the last word when your walls clench around his cock. bakugou curses under his breath, trying to ground himself by pawing at your clothed breasts, sliding his hands under your tank to feel the bare skin.
bakugou's words has fresh tears forming once again at your water line. "the same..?" you think out loud, a hiccup escaping your throat at the realization.
"f-fuck, y/n—," he chokes out, his balls becoming flush with the curve of your ass. "bakugou.. the same?" you urge on, a small gasp leaving your lips when his cock tip glazes against your sweet spot. it takes bakugou to find the strength to answer, but he does with a groan, rising his upper body to have a better look at the sight of you.
"..yes the same you dummy." he finally confirms, his eyes unable to lock with yours, instead choosing to glue themselves to the sight of your tight pussy swallowing his cock. without wasting another second, your hands fly to his nape, pulling him back down to kiss him roughly. the two of you moan into the kiss, your hands desperately exploring the skin of his back while his continue to grope and massage your breasts.
"hah—i just couldn't allow it.. i didn't want the others to have you.." he groans out, his hips speeding up against yours. his teeth bite at your breasts possessively, leaving dark red marks over the unmarked flesh. his possessiveness sends a shiver up your spine, making you impossibly more hornier than you thought possible.
"baku—katsuki," you mewl out, your fingernails digging trails of red into the skin of his back. his head nods silently at your use of his first name, his ears tingling intensely.
his head tilts up to face yours, unprepared for what you were about to say. "please fuck me. i need you."
with a few words of heavy profanity, all previously known touches of gentleness are thrown out the window and bakugou is throwing your leg over shoulder and practically folding you in half. bakugou is quick to cover your mouth with his palm, if not your screams of pleasure would be heard by all the other people in these dorms—and he's not quite on board with any nobodies hearing your pretty moans.
bakugou practically jackhammers his hips into yours, his cock tip bullying your cervix. your eyes roll to the back of your head at the foreign feeling of your cervix being fucked, of your cunt being mercilessly destroyed by a fat cock. your hand flies up to the head board, desperately attempting to find purchase on anything to keep you grounded.
his cock grazing your sweet spot has you screaming once more into his palm, creaming around him for the first time that night. "f-fuck—" bakugou curses loudly, his teeth drawing blood on his lower lip in an attempt to hide own moans.
your cunt walls have a vice grip on his cock, practical almost leaving him unable to move as you cum around him. still, bakugou works his hips in and out, doing everything in his power to prevent himself from cumming just yet.
in an last ditch effort to do so, bakugou lifts his palm up from your mouth, flipping your body so you lay onto your stomach. he's quick to shove his cock back into your overstimulated cunt, rutting into you like a dog in heat. bakugou doesn't find it within himself to care when you're moaning so loud that the first floor can probably hear you, neither does he care that he's fucking you so hard that the bed frame begins to slam against the wall.
all he cares about is destroying your cunt, destroying you, something he's been wanting to do since he's met you. "fuck, fuck, fuck, y/n you feel so fuckin' good—i'm gonna cum," he babbles, his cock growing hard at the sight of your fat ass bouncing with every impact of his thrusts.
you're no better off than him, moaning his name desperately like a mantra. bakugou finally comes with a sharp and deep thrust, pushing his cock so deep it has the tip flush with your bruised cervix. he groans incoherent words, most likely profanities, as he cums into the condom, his hands gripping on the swell of your hips as he tries to ground himself.
you cum just at the unmistaken warmth that pools inside of you, tongue lolling out of your mouth pathetically. your body twitches underneath his weight, hands weakly grabbing onto his biceps. "katssshuki.." you mewl out, stars practically twinkling in your eyes.
bakugou pulls out of you with a sharp inhale, taking off the filled condom. his cock twitches when you stop him just as he's about to throw away, taking the cum-filled latex from his hand and holding it over your mouth, allowing the cum to drip onto your tongue and into your throat.
he watches you with wide eyes as you practically suck the cum out of the condom before throwing it into the trash bin on the side of your bed. you look at him with a grin, licking your lips generously before giggling.
bakugou's face twitches uncontrollably, any remains of the composure and the obvious "better safe than sorry", he has left is discarded before he practically pounces on you like a wild beast.
ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-
bakugou is jolted awake, his eyes darting to the door of your room. theres a couple of knocks, his eyes look for your clock, '5:04 AM'.
he shuts his eyes, fully okay with ignoring the late visitor before theres more knocks. bakugou, begrudgingly, gets up, only because he doesn't want you to wake up.
he wraps his lower body in a spare blanket, taking a few seconds to rub awaken more before he's inching the door open, just barely enough to see who the visitor is. though, his shoulders relax when he sees it's just mr. aizawa at the door, most likely checking up on your state.
mr. aizawa blinks unexpectedly at bakugou, surely not expecting him to answer the door. his expression softens at the realization, being quick to offer an explanation. "i was just coming here to see if y/l/n was alright.. but i see it's under control, right?"
aizawa punctuates the last word of his sentence with the tilt of his head, his eyes pointing out bakugou's half-naked body. bakugou in response sheepishly shrugs, muttering out a groggy 'yeah' before closing the door.
he stands at the closed door for a second, rubbing his eyes tiredly before turning around to go back to bed, your bed more specifically. he stops in his tracks for a moment before continuing, seeing that you're now sitting up and staring at him.
"katsuki.." you breathe out tiredly, practically purring when you feel his hand settle onto your hip, bringing you back down onto the bed with him.
the two of you share a chaste kiss, departing only to get a short breathe in before you're pushing your body against his, deepening the kiss once more for the nth time that night.
[Disclaimer] As always with this character, heavy cursing, swearing, inappropriate language, HEAVY angst, and SEXUAL THEMES MENTIONED. Mentions of cheating and alcohol use. Every character is aged up to their mid-twenties! MDNI!!
“I’m heading to work.”
The gruff voice of your fiancé startled you, his words slowly causing your brain to signal your body to get rid of the sleep and get up. Slowly, your body got up to sit against the headrest of the bedframe to look at your fiancé better. He stood in the doorway wearing sweats and a hoodie, his hero suitcase in hand. He stared at you with his original scowling expression. Usually, you could read his expressions like a children’s book, but lately it’s been feeling like the highest level of philosophy in a foreign language of the dinosaur age to read. Foreign, strange, and unknown.
“Is this how it’s gonna be?” You asked lowly, eyes cascading down to your hands gripping your bedsheets tightly in your palms.
“What?” His gruff voice strikes your heart and mind, aggravating and upsetting your mood.
“Is this how our marriage is going to be? You running away from our problems and straight to work instead of fighting?”
“I don’t wanna bother with this,” Katsuki sneered as he scoffed and turned away to the hut of your shared apartment. You quickly sprang out of bed, grabbing a robe that lay on the bed bench in front of your bed. You quickly scurried after your fiancé while slipping on your robe, blood boiling.
“Are you serious? You’re gonna run? Avoid confrontation, that’s vital for our relationship. Do you even care, Katsuki?” Your voice grew with each word you spat. Katsuki stopped in his tracks and spun around to give you what you wanted.
“God fucking dammit, Y/n, I don’t wanna fight with you!”
“I’m fighting with you! I want to fight with you, fight with me, fight for me, for fucks sake!”
“What else do you want me to do?! I said my peace last fuckin’ night Y/n, I have nothing else to fuckin’ spat at you!”
“You barely said shit last night-”
“Because there’s no reason to fuckin’ defend myself! You want me to fight you over a fucking allegation?! You’re fuckin’ serious?!”
“Is it so unreasonable?! You didn’t think the grandest suspicion of that allegation was the open threat you gave Midoriya that you’d beat him at everything? In every aspect of your lives, especially relationships?” You quoted.
“Are you fuckin’ serious? Does that not mean exactly what it sounds like?! That I’d have a better relationship with you than that nerd does with Ochako?!”
“Ochako?”
“ ‘s that not her fuckin’ name?”
“Since when did you call people by their first names, Katsuki?” You asked in a stern and demanding tone. Eyes narrowed fiercely with growing rage.
“What? Come on, Y/n, I can’t say fuckin’ shit without you shitting on me!”
“WHEN do you call anyone by their first name, Katsuki?! Or even last name?! When do you ever even adress me that way?!” She screamed.
“It’s not a big fuckin’ deal, Y/n! It slipped because I’m fuckin’ overwhelmed with all this bitchin’ you’re givin’ me!”
“Tell me, Katsuki, when were you going to stop seeing her?”
“What?” Katsuki’s eyes widened as his face paled with offense and shock. He was shocked because he couldn’t believe his ears. Couldn’t fathom those words spilling from those perfect lips, let alone fathom the thought itself.
“When were you gonna plan to stop seeing her?” You held a stern expression, yet your eyebrows creasing gave away your hurt.
“Are you serious?” Katsuki genuinely asked, not believing you could actually believe those filthy lies the news and journalists spat about him.
“Answer Katsuki.” You spoke through your teeth. Your jaw was tense and firm while your body echoed with pain. Pain of the thought of your beloved with another.
“You’re fuckin’ serious, Y/n?”
“Answer the fucking question, Katsuki!” You cried more angrily from the frustration of his avoidance of answering your question. That one answer to that one question every girl dreads asking and hearing.
“Never! Never because I’d never do that to you!” His tone was desperate and genuine as he approached you with long strides.
“Tch, yeah right! Midoriya suspects it, too! You’re not fucking slick, Katsuki!” You emphasized with your hands.
“Y/n, stop! It’s not true. Those accusations are just accusations. I’d never do that-”
“That’s such bullshit! Why are you lying to me?!”
“I’m not, I’m telling you the truth, Y/n!” He whined as he desperately reached for your hands and grasped them tightly in his.
“You really think I’m stupid?! Who does your laundry, Katsuki?” You tugged your hands roughly away from his grasp as he desperately tried to follow them to hold them again. Desperate to feel your touch to ground him.
“What-”
“You don’t think I see the makeup on your shirts? Or the fuckin’ cum stains in your boxers when you know damn well we haven’t come close to having sex, let alone kissing, for nearly a year now! Don’t fucking play with me, Katsuki! Just say it!”
“Y-You’ve got it wrong!” He begs desperately.
You throw you’re arms up in the air, frustration of the deceit and refusal to admit the betrayal is upsetting you to no end. Your hand reached up to firmly grasp your face as it slid down to rub some of the tension off your face before you turned abruptly to speak again.
“Bakugou, please, just tell me the truth.” You sighed exasperatedly.
“I am Y/n! I wouldn’t do that to you!” He cried from his frustration and desperation.
“Do you really think I’m that stupid?! Midoriya suspects it, too!”
“That fuckin’ nerd doesn’t know shit!” He yelled, angry upon hearing his name.
“Again, that’s all you fuckin’ care about! Beating him! Being better than him! Having what he does and more!”
“No! That’s bullshit! I don’t care about that shit!”
“Why are you lying?!” You cried out.
“Tch. I can’t fuckin’ do this with you.” He scoffed, frustrated and tired of sounding like a broken record. His hand came up to his forehead and rubbed it soothingly to dull his upcoming headache.
“Seriously?” You scoffed in disbelief.
“Yes! I told ya earlier I don’t wanna fight over a minor fuckin’ allegation, Y/n!” Katsuki cried in exasperation.
“Well, I want to fight you!” Your hand repeatedly stabbed against your chest to emphasize your point as you yelled.
“What’s the fuckin’ point?! What are you gonna fuckin’ gain?!”
“I don’t know, maybe a feeling that you actually care! All you do is come home, eat the cold portions of food I've made for you, shower, and sleep. You never talk to me anymore, and whenever I do anything with you, you ignore me! You’re never home anymore! You barely even sleep here and choose to sleep at your fucking office. What is this, Katsuki? Is this even living? Are we even engaged? Is this what our marriage will be like?” You cried angrily.
“What? I’m always here, what are you on about?!”
“No, you’re not! You’re only home late into the night, and if you're home, you’re on your phone texting God knows who, or you choose to be on call 24/7! And let’s not forget the ungodly hours of the night you slip out of our place to go do lord knows what with whom!” You shouted as you gave a little stomp to the ground at the end of your sentence. Your frustration, your anger, your pain, all your emotions that have been bottled up are rising to the tip of the bottle, threatening to explode.
“You really think I’d waste my fuckin’ time with you and choose to cheat on you?! You reckon I’d do that?!”
“I don’t know what to think of you anymore.” You shook your head slightly in your disappointment.
“Y/n, I would never do that to you. You know that.”
The sound of a phone ringing brings you both out of your frenzy. Katsuki reaches for his back pocket and pulls his phone out. His eyes scan it before looking back at you. His lips parting, throat feeling dry, causing him to gulp a fresh batch of saliva to wet and lubricate his throat. His Adam's apple bobbed before his lips parted again to speak.
“I gotta go,” He says as he reaches for his hero suitcase again and begins to head for the front door.
“Katsuki! We aren’t done here!”
“That’s enough, Y/n!” He screamed.
You flinched back slightly at his loud and angry tone.
“That’s enough! I don’t wanna hear anymore of this fuckin’ shit!” His loud, aggressive tone has you still. "You want a fight? You want me to open up and bleed all over the floor so that you can feel something for once?" He seethed angrily. Pupils blown to slits with pure, fiery rage.
"I want the truth! Not this… emotionally neutered version of you. If you're angry, then be angry!" You cried desperately. Bakugou laughs bitterly.
"Fine! You wanna know why I stopped trying? Because you're a goddamn black hole, Y/n. Everything I give, you swallow up and come back starving for more. It's never fuckin’ enough for you!"
You responded quietly.
"That's not fair..."
"No, what's not fair is me walking on eggshells because your insecurities need a fuckin’ escape! You cry over every little thing I do, invent villains, stories, and call it your love, like what the fuck!" He ranted as he paced back and forth. His body language is pouring with frustration. He’s charging up with his anger, and you can almost taste it.
"I just wanted—" You began as you trembled with tears brimming in the waterline of her eyes, her irises shaking when Katsuki cut her off.
"You wanted drama! You wanted a villain so you could be the tragic heroine! Well, congratu-fucking-lations Y/n! You made me one!" Bakugou seethed with boiling skin. His body was on fire, which couldn’t be put out.
You stumbled back, tears flooding your eyes. You sink to the floor, a broken sob escaping your lips. Your hands tremble as you try to catch your breath. Bakugou pauses. Something soft flickers in his irises, regret? But he kills it instantly, like he always does.
Katsuki is loud. He’s always been loud. He screams and shouts at anything and everything, yet he’s never yelled at you like this before. No. This was laced with true venom. His eyes were red like the hatred poured out from the depths of his burning belly. His face contorted to one of pure anger. With all you’re emotions you’ve been storing in a tiny jar, and now this, you’re overflowing with emotion, and now the bottle exploded into a million sharp, broken glass pieces.
A hoarse sob broke first as your eyes glazed with tears before more small sobs began erupting from your soul. You always tried your best not to crumble, but you’ve reached your capacity to let things boil over. Feeling too used to letting things slide, and you just couldn’t do it anymore. You cracked in every way possible, which now has you sobbing on the floor.
Katsuki’s heart tore painfully in his chest. He hated seeing you upset with a passion. He’s always wanted to protect you from everything in your lives. He just never thought he’d have to protect you from himself. He’s done this to you. The thought fills him with so much more anger. The one thing Katsuki excels at is being angry and not controlling it like a wildfire.
“For fucks sake, Y/n, why the fuck are you crying?! Isn’t this what you wanted?! A fucking fight?! Grow up!” Katsuki has always had two sides to himself that no one knew of.
His front, which is his protective front of aggression and coldness, and on his inside, his child self, full of insecurities. That’s your Katsuki. The real him. His true self only he’s let you see. Had. Was. He had let you see it, but it wasn’t easy. It took him years to finally fully open up to you. It took a great deal of work, but he eventually did. Then, somewhere down the line, he shut off again. When did it happen? Sometime after Uravity came back to Japan. Sometime after she and Deku announced their relationship, his condition worsened, especially with you, and that’s when you lost him. You just didn’t realize it.
Your Katsuki hadn’t been yours for a long time. The sudden realization hits you like a freight train. But what hurts more is him. His words are filled with vile and venom, injecting themselves into your fragile and vulnerable body. Infecting your limbs and organs, turning them into a lifeless body. That’s what it felt like to love Katsuki Bakugou—sweet, addictive, toxic, venomous, numbingly vile, love. As Katsuki spits his venom, his inner turmoil stirs. It’s like he’s looking through the eyes of someone else. Watching through someone else's angry eyes as he sees you crumble before him. Watches as this stranger screams vile things at you. Stop. Stop, what are you doing to her? Leave her alone! Stop this, please!
“Look at you! Pathetic! Crying like that’s going to fix anything! You always do this! Collapse like a fucking weakling the second shit gets real!” He doesn’t mean that. He doesn’t know why he’s saying that.
You looked up at him, shattered.
Bakugou then speaks in the coldest tone he’s ever spoken in.
"You asked for this. This is what it looks like when someone finally tells you you’re not worth the fairytale you’ve built in your head." Why is he saying that? He wants that fairytale you dream of. He wants it with you and only you. It’s why he asked for your hand. Why’s his mouth spitting such bullshit?
You remained on the floor, curled in on yourself. Your sobs have quieted to shaky breaths. Bakugou stands over you, fists balled at his side, jaw tight, pacing now like he can’t decide whether to walk away or twist the knife deeper. Bakugou has this sick, twisted idea that every time he sees you in pain, it kills him, angers him, but he can never find where to aim it at. Unfortunately, it is always aimed back at you.
"You think tears are some kind of magic quirk, don’t you? Like if you cry hard enough, I’ll suddenly forget how exhausting it is to love you." That’s not true, he loves you like he’s loved nothing before. You’re his air that he breathes, why can’t he say what he really feels for fucks sake?!
You speak softly, barely audible. "Why are you doing this?"
Bakugou crouches to your level, his voice a cold whisper.
"Because you begged for it. You practically dragged this out of me. You said you wanted a fight, so now you’ll sit in it. Drown in it even." He wants to hold you. Hold you tight for dear life for forever, not this…
"Stop… stop it..."
"You think you’re the only one who hurts? You think you're some delicate porcelain doll that shatters when I raise my voice? I carry you, Y/n. I carry your moods, your spirals, your goddamn silence. And the moment I crack, you act like I’m a fucking monster."
You stood up before speaking hoarsely. "You are a monster."
Silence. The air shifts into something eerie.
"Say that again." He seethed. Eyes narrowing to thin, angry slits.
"A monster. You twist everything. You break me and then blame me for the mess!"
Bakugou approaches you slowly. Deadly. Like a predator does with its prey.
"And yet you’re still here. Still begging for me to see you. Still craving this chaos you pretend to hate. You want me to tell you I’ve been cheating on you. You want to be a victim, Y/n. Beggin’ me to tell you what fuckin’ delusional fantasy you’ve cooked up in that fucked up head of yers! That’s not fuckin’ fair when I’ve done nothing!"
"I’m not begging for that… Or at all… I-" Your voice trembled.
"Your tears are."
You flinch, and his smile fades into a sneer.
"You’re addicted to this. To me. The pain, the drama, the validation when I choose to stay. You don’t want love. You want a cage you can fuckin’ rattle with me in it."
“Why’re you so angry all of a sudden? So defensive. Suddenly willing to fight only when I mention your betrayal?!”
“Oh fuck off! Would you be sane if yer boyfriend berates you for an accusation you never fuckin’ committed!” He screamed.
“Why can’t you just admit it to me, Katsuki? Just say it! Tell me the truth, just talk to me!”
“Because I didn’t fuckin do shit with her ever, Y/n! Not one thing!”
“Then convince me! Talk to me! Tell me what you’ve been doing! Just talk! Not this heartless piece of shit you’re playing!”
“Why do I have to tell you my entire fuckin’ business when I clearly don’t wanna talk about it just because you’re fuckin’ insecure! How’s that my fuckin’ fault?”
“I can’t believe you…”
“I can’t believe you! You’re fucking mental!”
Through clenched teeth, you speak, "Then leave. Just leave."
Towering above you, he seethes back. "I should’ve. I should’ve left a while ago, but you just kept fuckin’ pushing me, Y/n. Turning nothin’ into this whole fuckin’ thing. I’m tired of your outbursts of insecurities and putting’ shit on me. Makin’ me feel like shit because you don’t fuckin’ love yerself!"
“Get the fuck out!” You screamed angrily. Saliva flaring out of your mouth at the force of your words, and crying as you stood up.
“No, no fuck you! This is what you wanted, Y/n! You don’t get to change your mind now! We are far too into this shit now to take it back! This is what you fuckin’ wanted, so let’s fuckin’ go!”
“All I wanted was you!” You shouted at the top of your lungs. Throat red and hoarse from the screaming match and sobs. Your words froze Katsuki in place.
Bakugou’s heart stammered. He was still in there. Crying actually. Internally panicking as he watched through a scope of his body, committing these heinous acts towards you. Everything he was saying, everything he was shouting, lies, all lies, he just wanted to hold you and beg for your love, not this fighting. Yes, you asked for this, but you didn’t ask for this. Not him going beyond what you wanted. He knew, he’s not stupid. He’s mother fuckin’ Dynamight, he’s far from stupid, but lately he has been. That’s all he’s been with you. You asked for a fight, not just an argument, but a fight for you, not with you. Here he was screwing it up because he was cursed with failing at the one thing he desperately wanted more than anything. A love life with you.
“Y-You have me Y/n!”
“No, I don’t! I haven’t for a while…Just go, Katsuki.”
“Y/n-” He croaked a sob.
“Go, please!" You sobbed.
“No-”
“I’m not asking you-”
“No, Y/n! I’m not, I need you to-”
“I’m done!” You shouted, and the room fell eerily quiet. All that could be heard was the heavy breathing from both your and Katsuki’s bodies.
“I’m tired! I’m over this! I need you out!” You croaked with rushed words as you pointed a harsh finger at the door.
“Y/n please just fuckin’ listen-”
“I’m done, Katsuki! I’m fuckin’ done!” You repeated angrily as you turned your hands to point at yourself, animating your pain and exhaustion towards the relationship.
Air. Air, breathe. Breath, it’s gone. Disappeared from his lungs like he sees the flame of your love in your eyes dissipate. The burning flame, in desperate need of oxygen, was extinguished due to a lack of it. More so, the suffocation of no air. Nothing to pump it alive, that was his job. What it was supposed to be, though he never put effort into completing his everlasting mission, to keep the burning embers of your love for him alive by reciprocating your passion, instead, he proved the one-sided-ness of the effort to you. Now the flames are put out. That fire of love is now lost to the lack of oxygen he carelessly didn’t tend to. A love, now lost. It terrified him. This whole fucked up situation. Where he is now.
“Y/-” He started, voice soft, broken, desperate, before you interrupted.
“Get the fuck out!” Your voice leaked with strain and exhaustion. Pain and heartbreak laced within the words you cried.
His heart tore, but of course, his cursed fuckin’ mouth just has a mind of its own.
“About time I fuckin’ leave this shitty ass relationship,” He grumbled, low, cold, and heartless, all the while he was crumbling.
An explosion waiting to burst open. His footsteps felt heavy, his head pounding, and his heart constricting painfully as he grabbed his keys, hero suit, and headed towards the door. He walks out of the room, slamming the door behind him. You stare at it, the door, too stunned to cry, your chest hollow — the aftermath worse than the storm. The sparks of love you once had died down, barely crackling alive until it just vanished..
It had been two days since the argument on that gloomy, cold, and rainy day, such as this one. You were in your apartment, once shared, still shared technically, but it’s been two horrible days since you and Katsuki last talked. You considered this a break. You were heated, thoughts spiraling, and feeling nauseous when you were fighting with him. After a few days cooling off, you were able to think more clearly about everything. Both of your tempers got the best of you, and maybe you pushed too hard for something you couldn’t handle.
You were just worried about your wedding schedule for five months down the road; you weren’t getting cold feet, just horrified that you were walking straight into a divorce, knowing it in the back of your mind. Izuku called you one night a few months ago, right before the argument, asking if you knew the whereabouts of his fiancée. She was supposed to work late, but not till 2:12 AM. The same was going on with your Katsuki, yet he never gives you exact times when he tells you he’ll be home late. He just shows up when he does.
When he came home that night, you found him smelling of something smelly, with the tiniest hint of floral, which was odd, because your scents are all naturally fresh or citrusy. The next morning, you were doing laundry and saw a bizarre color on his black shirt. A different color foundation than yours was smudged lightly near the collar of his shirt. You thumbed it out of curiosity as you analyzed the makeup smudge. You huffed in denial and refusal as you threw the shirt in the washer and bent down to grab the following item, which was his boxers. You flipped them inside out, and before tossing them inside, a slight shine on them caught your attention. You looked closely before you realized what it was. You’re heart sank.
You and Katsuki haven’t been intimate like that for a very long time. To see this right after the makeup stain is fucking with your head, especially with all the distance being put between you both lately. But to see that he’s been getting off doing god knows what, with whom. It started worsening your insecurities. Thinking on it presently, it caused you to bite your lower lip in anxiety as you sat cross-legged on your couch. You huffed before getting up to change into casual clothes. You then rushed to your front door, but not before stopping to collect your purse and keys, then heading out and slamming the door behind you. You had to find Katsuki and apologize for the fight and talk like mature adults.
Rain soaked your hair as you stood under the overhang at the café, clutching a bag of Katsuki’s favorite takeout, smiling like a fool. You hadn’t meant to show up unannounced—you just missed him. You needed to see him and talk to him. You had been the one to push him over the edge during your last argument, and this was your attempt at mending things. A quiet apology, a surprise meal, and hopefully a fresh start. You knew he’d be here because you texted Kirishima if he knew where Katsuki was, and he told you he was at your favorite cafe.
You pushed the glass door open, heart fluttering with nervous excitement. The chimes above the door echoed throughout the cafe as you walked in.
And there they were.
Katsuki and Ochako. Sitting close. On the same seat of the booth. Laughing.
Ochako’s hand lingered on his. His eyes—god, his eyes—were soft in a way you hadn’t seen in weeks. Hell, months. He looks comfortable. Relaxed. As if the weight of your relationship had been lifted the moment he left.
You froze.
The bag of his favorite dish slipped from your fingers and hit the floor with a dull thud, the food inside forgotten.
Katsuki’s head whipped around. His eyes widened in shock and dread the moment he saw you.
"Y/n—" He called in an out-of-breath tone.
You turned and stormed out into the rain, bumping into a woman on your way out, but not caring. All you cared about was getting out of there.
He chased after you without a second thought.
"Wait! Please, wait! It’s not what it looks like!" He shouted behind you desperately as he ran after you.
You spun around, soaked, mascara streaking your cheeks as it ran down from the mix of the raindrops and your tears. Your umbrella is long forgotten. Your voice cracked as you spoke.
"Not what it looks like? Her hand was on yours, Katsuki! You looked happy! Happier than you ever were with me!" Your voice broke painfully.
"She needed someone to talk to—she and Deku have been fighting and—"
"And that’s your excuse? That she needed a shoulder to cry on, so you gave her your hands, your eyes, your smile? The ones that used to be mine? The ones I desperately needed?" You shouted with a break at the end of your words.
His voice rose. "It didn’t mean anything! I didn’t cheat on you! I didn’t before, and I didn’t now!"
"But you could have! And maybe not physically, but emotionally! You were already gone, weren’t you? You left me weeks ago, months ago, fuck, maybe even a year ago, Katsuki, and I was too stupid to see it." Your voice lowered as you finished your sentence. The realization is hitting you harder now. He could see it—your thoughts stirring in your head.
"That’s not fair," he growled. "You’ve been pushing me away for months. I didn’t even know where we stood!"
“Me?” You shouted in disbelief at his words. “Me, Katsuki? I pushed you away? That’s bullshit and you know it!”
“You were the one always pushing me and my boundaries! Never accepting, I was too tired from work to deal with you!”
“Oh yeah, let’s not forget how you deal with your problems by running away from them, right?” You spat.
“That’s not fuckin’ fair-”
“Ya know what’s not fair, you running out on me and not once checking in on me since you left. Then I have to put in effort to go out and find you, and be the bigger person, apologizing when I’m completely justified in this, and I find you with the woman you’re rumored to have had an affair with, and you gaslight me to think I’m overreacting and it’s my fault, and you think I’m being fucking unfair?” You shouted your ramble. You’re voice is breaking with exhaustion and crumbling with pain.
Katsuki shouted back with equal desperation, "I never cheated on you! I never even thought about it! But if you really believe I could hurt you like that, then maybe the problem isn’t what I did! Maybe it’s that you never really trusted me in the first place!"
"So your answer was to move on before you even walked out the door?" You shouted, your voice sharp with betrayal. "You knew I was trying, and you still let me try and fight for us, and you let me walk in and see that!" You exclaimed as you thrust your hands in the direction of the cafe.
He stepped forward, rain dripping from his hair, his hand reaching for yours. "Y/n, I swear to you—nothing happened! I love you. I love you still." His face was etched with pain and desperation as he spoke.
You yanked your hand away. "No. Don’t say that. Don’t you dare. You don’t get to say that after everything. You don’t get to love me now."
His voice broke. "I never stopped."
"Well, I did." You replied. Your voice is cold, painfully cold and stern, straight to the point and straight to his heart.
“W-What the hell are you sayin’?” He whimpered as he stepped forward, and you answered with a step back and away from him. His eyes pleading with yours.
The silence between you both was deafening, punctuated only by the sound of the downpour.
You took a trembling breath, your eyes red, chest heaving. "We’re done, Katsuki. I’m done. I don’t want to see you anymore, or ever again! I don’t want to hear from you or about you! I don’t want anything to do with you ever again!"
His lips parted, his throat tightened, and his lips wobbled. Voice dangerously close to that of a desperate cry. "Y/n—"
"I hate you," she whispered, barely audible but venomous. "I hate you so much for what you did to me." Your trembling fingers reached for the other that bore your engagement ring. In a swift motion, you pulled it off and let it fall to the ground.
Clink. A light, sharp sound echoed throughout Katsuki’s ears as he watched with slow eyes the engagement ring he spent countless hours of several weeks creating a perfect masterpiece to decorate your finger with his love, now chipped and bruised like his heart when it hit the cold, wet pavement.
And then you turned.
And walked away.
This time, he didn’t follow.
He stood in the rain, fists clenched at his sides, staring at the spot where you’d disappeared. He didn’t cry. Katsuki Bakugou didn’t cry. He almost, but he held it in. His red iris color spread throughout his entire eyes as they were red from pain and tears that he fought incredibly hard to keep from falling, with the drops of rain that cascaded down his cheeks that acted as his tears for him. His chest hurt so badly that it felt like his lungs were collapsing. Like the rain wasn’t outside but inside him, flooding everything.
And for the first time in a long time, he felt alone.
Completely, devastatingly alone. And his fiery, burning spark of light from his flame burnt out...
He tried everything that night and the day after. Called. Texted. Showed up at your apartment once—never again after that. You slammed the door in his face with eyes swollen from crying. And he couldn’t blame you.
But he never cheated, you had to know that. You needed to know that.
It was a misunderstanding. Ochako had been going through it with Deku and needed a friend. Katsuki was that friend. Nothing more. But to you, it had looked like everything you were insecure about. He couldn’t believe he let it get this bad. Let the relationship, more specifically, you get so insecure within it, to honestly believe he was lying with another woman in such an intimate setting. The kind he only wished to be in with you. So he let you go. Because not only did you no longer want him, but you now hated him. Hated how horrible he’s treated you and expected you to be okay with it—hated how insecure and pathetic he’s made you feel. Hated how much he’s neglected you to make you think and believe he’s been with another woman.
The mere thought makes vile crawl up his throat and threaten to spill from his lips, the same way those awful words he spat at you did. He regrets it all so much. He cared about Ochako and Izuku more than he likes to admit, but he wonders why he’s put so much of his time and effort into their relationship over his. He knew. He knew deep down that he was only trying to make it up to Izuku for all he’d done in their youth. He thought that if he did Izuku an excellent service by saving something as important as a relationship, he could put his past behind him. All his guilt from his past actions could truly be forgiven, for he knew how amazing and precious a relationship with a person you truly loved was. If only he prioritized his savings over someone else’s. Maybe he could’ve saved yours. He’d give anything to rekindle the sparks...
For a year, he watched you from a distance. Silently watched out for you and protected you on missions, which you repaid him with an angry scowl, with painful reminders of betrayal flickering in those beautiful irises he adored. One time, you yelled at him. Badly. That caused him to calm down from being on missions with you.
“What the fuck is your problem?” You shouted with a heavy exhale of breath from your exhaustion. The battle had been an easy one.
It would’ve been so simple to take this ambitious villain with no skill or talent, just a big dreamer down, but he just had to complicate things, not by his presence but his actions. You were sent to stop this villain alone with Mt.Lady, you as her partner. It was supposed to be just you both; you two were more than enough, but the second word got out that you were there, he blew everything off to go. He got there quickly and was quick to put himself in front of you and put you out of harm's way. Instead, he worsened the situation by going beyond, trying to have you avoid the fighting and instead ended up putting you even more in harm's way.
You took a knife to the thigh when the villain managed to get behind you and slip past Katsuki, and when you knocked the villain out, you stormed at Katsuki, angry. Katsuki was taken aback; all he wanted was to protect you. It was his job, was..was his job. And he’d be lying if he said he didn’t use this as an excuse to be near you. Pathetic right. Everything he criticized you for, being an overbearing, beyond clingy, attention whore, he was acting the same way, even worse, honestly. He caused you to be stabbed unnecessarily because he wanted to see you, beyond pathetic and hypocritical. He couldn’t respond to you. He was too lost in his thoughts, overwhelmed by all that was going on, so you spoke before him.
“I told you to stay away from me, and I meant it. I don’t need your fucking help, and I certainly don’t need you around me.”
“Y/n, please. I just wanted to help you-“ His hands came up as he walked to you, aiming to help hold you up by your arms.
“I didn’t need you or your help!” You seethed through angry teeth as you shoved him away from you with a hand and a limp leg. All neighboring eyes were on both of you.
“I don’t need you. I don’t want your fucking help. I want you to stay away from me. What I need is for you to stay out of my life.” You seethed a final sentence you’d ever say to him, before turning on your heels and limply walking to Mount Lady and a medic. Katsuki stood there. Unable to move. And he stayed there for a while before Kirishima came to snap him out of it.
Since then, he’s resorted to sending anonymous coffee orders to the agency you worked for when he knew you were overworking yourself. He resorted to watching you from afar, silently, carefully, yearningly.
You had been his everything. Still are.
Katsuki hadn’t been the same since that night. He didn’t sleep—couldn’t sleep. Not when every time he shut his eyes, he saw your face crumbling in front of him, heard your voice breaking into pieces, the words “I hate you” or “stay away from me, I meant what I said,” playing on a loop like a curse he couldn’t shake.
No calls. No messages. No sign of Y/n.
He kept his distance, just like you asked. More so demanded. But gods, it was killing him.
He stared at his phone every night until the numbers blurred and the background light burned his retinas. He typed out messages only to delete them seconds later. Pathetic. That’s what he was.
“Just give her time,” Kirishima had said. His palm rested firmly on Katsuki’s shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze of reassurance. Not that it gave Katsuki any, but he silently appreciated the support over a twenty-minute lecture, Pinky or Dunce face given as if they knew everything.
But time didn’t fix the hollowness in his chest.
The boys in his friend group began forcing him to go out more after work or whenever they could—anything to help Katsuki get his depressive mind off of you. But whenever Katsuki went, all it did was make it worse. He saw you everywhere. In a woman holding hands with her lover. In a woman petting a dog. In a woman getting coffee or tea. In a cat that refused to get down from a tree branch. To a bird flying over his head. His mind no longer belonged to him, just you. Whenever he went to clubs or bars, he blocked out every other woman who tried to come close. Every place he went to reminded him of you—the coffee shop you both used to sneak off to between patrols. The one where you last had your conversation as an engaged couple outside of. The stupid claw machine you always won at. His apartment—still filled with traces of you. You’re favorite hoodie here. A hair tie still on the bathroom counter that he refused to throw away. Your ghost lingered in everything.
He tried to train it out. Fought harder, longer, meaner. But even battle scars couldn’t mask heartbreak.
He thought back to the way you looked when you left him. The rain was soaking through your clothes, and the anger and betrayal that was swimming in your eyes. He hated that he was the reason you looked like that. Hated that even when he screamed, he hadn’t cheated, it didn’t matter.
Because he still broke you. Aside from the cheating allegation, he still couldn’t deny his other actions. He remembered the way you flinched when he said he still loved you. Like it was the cruelest thing he could’ve said.
“Damn it!” he shouted, hurling something that was glass against the wall of his apartment. It shattered. So did he, just like you. Bakugou slid down the wall and buried his face in his hands.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered to no one. “I’m so damn sorry.”
But you weren’t there to hear it.
And he was sure you never would be again.
The anniversary of their breakup hit harder than he expected.
It had been a year since that night. One whole year of silence.
He came home to a cold and empty apartment, per usual. Exhausted, grimy, and smelly. He limped to his bathroom to take a warm shower after a long day of hero work. After he took care of himself, he plopped down onto his messy bed and stared at the ceiling. He knew what day it was. He dreaded it. Still, he couldn’t get you out of his mind a whole year later. Pathetic, yet-
He cracked. Called her.
She didn’t answer. Half expected, but he was ever so hopeful.
He doom scrolled on Instagram before pausing on a story. It was a story on Pinky’s page—a repost of your post. You posted a layout of multiple pictures, one of which was taken that night with some guy in it. His arm around your shoulders. His head is too close to yours; if you both turned, your lips would touch the others. Smiling. Arms around each other. Happy. Katsuki stared at it until his vision blurred. Then he threw his phone across the room and screamed into the empty apartment for the hundredth time in a year.
Six months have passed since.
Y/n and the new guy broke up. Katsuki found out accidentally through a blabbering Mina when she came to Kirishima’s apartment and he was there visiting. Although the news would've been something to be celebrated from a yearning man, he didn’t. Just felt the crushing weight of guilt and regret all over again. He was pained hearing how heartbroken you were. Still under clouds and the mystery of why the breakup was initiated, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was you. Your health. You. So he tried again. Slower this time. Less pushy and ten times more careful.
He saw you at Japan’s annual hero gala. It was the Hero Gala that every professional hero and citizen looked forward to. It was the gala where rising heroes and veterans were honored for their achievements and recognized by the world for their tireless efforts. He knew you’d be here. You always showed up. But what he loved about you was how you didn’t care whether you got an award or not. All you cared about was the actual work of the job, not like some of these B-listers who do the job for the money and fame. You were the rare ones, much like his friends, who genuinely valued the work of a pro-hero and not the outcome. But you came to these events to appreciate your friends' rewards and yours. Additionally, PR always encourages every hero to pursue good publicity, as the gala will be aired on TV.
He approached you cautiously.
"Y/n." He called you softly.
You looked at him like he was the dirt beneath your boots. That was the start of change. "Don’t." You sounded tired. Exhausted even. But you didn’t walk away. That was something.
“You look beautiful.” He whispered. Your head lowered at his words. He assumed you were shutting down; instead, he was surprised by your reply. “Thank you.” Before focusing your attention back on the stage. You didn’t give him any more of your time. But that was more than he’s gotten in years, and that’s all he needed to move forward.
You got transferred to the agency he was working for when yours was under construction. He started with small interactions throughout your everyday lives. It started so small. He wouldn’t say a word to you, just nod in acknowledgement whenever your paths crossed. Silently giving you your paperwork, coffee, or tea, or lunch, or anything without uttering a word. Then he started to grow. Offering help during missions. Letting you take over battle plans and have a say in things. Letting you have the last word in work-related arguments. And for once, not bothering with fighting back. He didn’t want to give you any more reason to ignore him and completely shut him out. He just got his foot in the tiniest crack in the door. He wasn’t gonna budge out for anything.
You didn’t smile, you never smiled at him anymore, but you didn’t curse him out either, not in anger.
Progress.
Over the months of working at the same agency, you began to fall back into old habits. You let him inch closer into your life again. You started to acknowledge his presence. You must admit, it took a lot of Mount Lady practically forcing you to be cordial with Bakugou strictly for work reasons, which was understandable. You needed to put your grudge behind you out in the field. So you did. What you didn’t mean to do was lose that grudge entirely and become cordial outside of work. Your work phone had Katsuki’s phone work number, and one night, you had to text Katsuki for the meet-up location and time for a stakeout opp. You didn’t mean for it to lead to a friendly conversation. Nor did you mean for the messaging to continue for days after. A message here. A sarcastic comment there. But you never forgot to mention, "Don’t think this makes us friends."
"Didn’t say it did. Just saying your aim’s still shit."
You flipped him off with your back turned as you walked down the hallway of his agency.
He smiled. For the first time in years, he actually smiled.
Eventually, you both started talking more. About missions. About everything. About nothing. One thing he never did was bring up the past. Thankfully. But he always thought about it. Thought about how different this felt. Different from your days in high school. Different from a few years ago. Just different, but a significant difference. A difference you both needed. A change. A do-over. Your talks were as if you were both strangers just becoming friends. And maybe that was the truth because you’ve both grown in different ways from a few years ago. Both of you have grown into people for the better, for yourselves, for others.
One night, you actually called him for something other than work.
"You up?"
And his heart stopped.
You talked for two hours. Then three. Then, every night after. Talked about work, about everything, about nothing.
It was a Monday night. A Friday night for you and Katsuki, as you both had two days off from work. You both sat on your couch. A movie playing with snacks and alcoholic drinks on your living room table. Your favorite horror movie playing that neither of you were paying attention to, just mindlessly watching as you both were too into your thoughts. You, worrying if that once vanished spark has rekindled, and Katsuki is fighting hard to bite his tongue from saying something he might regret. Might scare you away with. The air was heavy with unspoken tension. You both could feel it. Practically taste it. Katsuki’s fingers twitch with the feral human need to touch the skin of your hand with his. To revel in the warmth your hand emits into his sweaty palms.
The very feeling he’s been deprived of for years. So, he very carefully and slowly reached for your hand. And you let him. He tested the waters at first. A finger lay atop yours, unmoving for a few minutes, before it traveled atop your hand and slowly intertwined with yours. Your heart began beating incredibly fast, just like it had when you first started dating Katsuki. Your mind was racing with an angel and devil on your shoulders, one telling you this felt so right, perfect, you needed this, the other telling you this wasn’t right. Too quick, too soon, too wrong. But it was too late. The sin of greed and lust took over your senses, and the desires became too grand to control. The hunger for sins outweighed the saint.
Your gaze shifted to Katsuki’s slowly, almost fearfully. When you turned, you were met with Katsuki’s gaze already on yours. His eyes shone not just with the illuminating light of the television, but with something more, more profound, lighter.
Yearning.
A primal need to relish in you. All of you. The entirety of you. To dive deep and far with the hope of absolutely drowning in you if you let him. He’d never come up for air.
His gaze shifted from your eyes to your nose, to your lips, and back up again. Analyzing and memorizing you. The way your nose expanded when you took a deep breath. The new faint pigment you developed on your face from your travels. Your lashes are more curled, and your eyes are less puffy from aging. Your lips have a deeper natural shade and are slightly bigger. You’ve both grown, but he could never forget the smallest features you adorned.
You saw it. His mind is working to study your face. It had your heart palpitating. Your belly is on fire, rumbling with desire. A particular need you haven’t felt in years. The kind of hunger you thought to have quenched years ago. It all came back. Hitting with such ferocity, it was untameable now. Curse this beautiful man. Curse his long, straight lashes. His deep carmine eyes shine bright under the luminary light. His fair lips and that tip of his nose that bumped your when you kissed. Kissed—his soft lips. The feeling, it’ll never go away. There will never be a world where you don’t remember how soft his lips were. How could you? A rough, sharp-edged man with the world's most gentle lips. God damn this perfect-looking man. God damn those perfect lips. His heart raced as he watched your eyes focus on his lips.
Your lips were on his. Hungry. Desperate. Familiar.
A yearning kiss between lost lovers is not just the meeting of lips—it is the collision of everything you’ve carried in silence, all the ache and longing that has swelled between you over the distance of time apart. It begins with hesitation, that trembling pause where your breaths mingle, as though both are afraid the moment might shatter if you move too quickly. When your mouths finally meet, it is not gentle in the way of new love, but desperate in the way of something nearly lost forever. The kiss tastes of tears unshed, of apologies unspoken, of promises that once fractured but still refuse to die.
It is a kiss that clings, that lingers, as if each press of your lips could bridge the chasm carved by absence. Your hands clutch at one another, searching not just for warmth but for proof—proof that the other is real, present, still theirs to hold. Every breath drawn between kisses feels ragged, as though you're relearning how to breathe in the same rhythm. It is fire and ache at once: fire, because your bodies remember too well; ache, because your hearts recall the emptiness of separation. In that kiss, there is both grief and healing, both punishment and forgiveness. It feels like drowning and being saved in the same heartbeat—a moment where love, loss, and desperate hope all crash together into something neither of you can let go.
The need for air, a living essential, suddenly hits you both as if you've forgotten breathing was something you needed. You pulled your head towards yourself, your forehead resting on Katsuki’s as you panted heavily, your lungs desperate for air. Katsuki tried chasing your lips but decided to chase his own need for air in his lungs as well. The night pressed heavily around you both, the silence broken only by the faint hum of the city in the distance. He rested his forehead against yours, eyes searching your beautiful pools desperately for something, needing an understanding of whether you’re burning for him as he is for you. His sharp eyes, so usually filled with fire and pride, now held something fractured—something raw.
“Damn it, Y/n,” he rasped, his voice roughened with the weight of years spent apart. “You have no idea how much I fucking missed you.”
Your lips trembled, though you bit down to steady them. “You think I didn’t? Every day felt like I was trying to breathe underwater. You left me with pieces I couldn’t put back together.”
The words hung between you, heavier than the air itself. Katsuki shifted a bit closer until he was close enough that you could feel the heat radiating off him. His hands clenched at your sides, as if he were afraid that if he let go of you and you pulled away, it would wreck him.
“Tell me to back off,” he whispered, his breath brushing against your lips. “Tell me you don’t want this, and I’ll walk away for good.” He nosed your cheek and slowly moved down to your neck.
But you didn’t speak. Couldn’t. Every part of you screamed with the desperate need to touch him, to hold onto him, to taste the pieces of yourself you’d lost when he was gone.
So you reached for him again.
The kiss wasn’t soft—it was desperate, aching, the kind of kiss that burned with every second of longing they had endured apart. His lips crashed against yours with a deeper force than before. That was almost painful, yet it felt like oxygen flooding your lungs after too long without air. Your hands gripped his shirt, clinging as if letting go would mean losing him all over again. Katsuki’s fingers tangled in your hair, pulling you impossibly closer, as though he could anchor himself in your presence.
Tears welled in your eyes, spilling down your cheeks and mingling with the kiss. He kissed them away without words, his mouth moving against yours with a hunger that carried both apology and promise. Every press of his lips said what neither had dared to say aloud: I’m sorry. I need you. Don’t let this end again.
When you finally broke apart, both were gasping, foreheads pressed together, breaths mixing in the fragile space between. Katsuki’s voice was low, almost broken as he begged.
“Tell me.” He couldn’t finish, his words failing him from numb lips, but he didn’t need to. You knew him better than anyone, and he, you. So with one look up into his carmine eyes, that was all he needed to know.
He moved quickly. Arms reaching around you, pressing you close to him from under your thighs, and hoisting you up with him as he stood from the couch. His lips instantly attached themselves to yours. He moved to your bedroom. Kicking your door open without a care and dropping you down onto your bed. Your hair falls beautifully behind you, framing you like an intimate painting. He was on you quickly. His hands explored every inch of you as his lips did the same. Your mouths were dancing together as you tugged your blouse up your body to tear off. His hands immediately found home on your bare hot skin, but as his hands traced the outline of your waist, the memory hit you.
The rain. Your heartbeat. Ochako’s laugh. That goddamn café.
You pulled away quickly with a gasp. Scrambling away and tugging your cover over yourself like a shield. He saw the look in your eyes, crazy with doubt, pain, trauma, insecurity, heartbreak. He reached to comfort you before you spat.
"Get out."
"Y/n—"
"Just—go. Please." You let out in a broken whisper. Fresh tears, once filled with joyful remembrance, now filled with fearful heartbreak. He promised he’d never hurt you again.
So he left. Again…
No contact.
Again.
He was spiraling. Worse than the first time. Constantly on edge. His phone glued to his hand or body, continually checking for messages or calls. He was always returning home drunk and late. Izuku noticed before Kirishima brought it up to him. Green eyes scanned his old friend with worrisome eyes. Enough was enough; he wouldn’t let his friend suffer. Part of this was his fault. If he hadn’t filled his own head with overwhelming pressure and insecurity, he’d never have pushed Ochako and Katsuki’s alleged affair onto you. You wouldn’t have left him. You would’ve been happy and probably married, like he and Ochako are. And Katsuki still helped him and Ochako work it out even after your split. He owed him and you this and more.
"Come on, man," Midoriya said over lunch. "You look like hell." He joked, aiming to lighten the mood, but Katsuki didn’t respond. He forked some of his chicken salad and shoved it in his mouth with such a saddened expression that hadn’t left his face since the almost rekindling night. Izuku swallowed his drink before resorting to Katsuki’s usual strategy, going straight to the point.
"You still love her. I know. But she doesn’t know the truth, does she? About the Ochako thing, does she?" Midoriya asked carefully.
“ ‘Doesn’t matter,” Katsuki grumbled.
“It does-” Izuku started before Katsuki exploded.
"She wouldn’t believe me." He snarled with a nasty, aggressive tone.
"Then let us tell her." Ochako placed a hand on Izuku’s shoulder, as the green-haired male instantly reached a hand up to hold his wife’s on his shoulder.
Izuku agreed as he nodded and kept his gaze on Katsuki with a warm, closed-lipped smile.
You opened your door to Midoriya and Ochako with a confused frown. Great, right when you were about to head out to buy some alcohol, you were met with Izuku and her. You turned your gaze to Izuku with a serious and agitated expression.
“What’dya want?” If Izuku didn’t know already, he would’ve thought he was talking to Kacchan. These two were surely meant for each other; it was sad they didn’t see it. How much in love they are with each other, they’ve adapted each other's mannerisms.
"This is about Katsuki," Ochako said gently. "There’s something you need to know."
“I don’t wanna hear anything about-”
“Please, Y/n,” Ochako urged, releasing her hold on her husband's arm as her hands came to reach for yours, making you stumble back, not wanting to be touched. Izuku may have forgiven them, but you couldn’t.
“Y/n,” Izuku called, “I really think we should sit down.”
Your eyes shifted between the married couple before deciding with a sigh to give in. You stepped aside and pulled your door back to open wider to allow them both entry to your apartment. You all talked for hours while you sat silently, processing and listening without uttering a word. They told you everything. About the rough patch Ochako and Izuku had been in. About their fights. How bad did they get that theirs were even worse than the ones you had with Katsuki? About how Izuku pushed the affair onto you because he was so insecure, it made him feel better if he wasn’t going through it alone.
About the café. About what happened after the cafe. About their rekindling when Ochako told Izuku about your breakup. About Katsuki, truly just being a friend for both the couple and helping both of them get through it. About how Katsuki explained to them how he’d been too distant with you, you truly believed he was cheating. He never came home anymore, and when he did, he never acknowledged you. How you told him the lust in the relationship was absent, and he didn’t help the affair rumors by cumming in his boxers after rubbing one out because of how late he came home and not being able to indulge in sweet love with you. How stressed and frustrated he was, but he kept away from you. How you found Ochako’s makeup on his collar from the nights she hugged him for dear life after venting about her fight with Izuku. And all you could do was sit with a fearful realization in your eyes.
"He never cheated, Y/n. Neither of them did." Midoriya finished.
Tears welled up in your eyes. Your heart constricts painfully at the realization of your mistakes.
"Why didn’t he say something?" Your voice cracked as your eyes glazed heavily with tears.
Ochako smiled sadly. "Because he thought you wouldn’t listen."
“He thought it no longer mattered. It was too late,” Izuku added as he took his wife’s hand in his.
You abruptly got up from your seat, rushed to the console table behind her couch, picked up your phone, and rushed to your bedroom. The married couple smiled at each other before giving a quick peck on the lips, before they got up to let themselves out of your home.
Katsuki didn’t even let the first ring finish. He clicked the accept call button a little too harshly as he shot up from his bed.
"Y/n?" His voice was desperate and vulnerable.
You hesitated. "Can we talk?" Voice broken within the words.
‘ Of course, what-umm- are you okay?” He asked nervously, unsure of the need for your sudden phone call.
“I just- I needa talk to you..” You bit your lip to hold in your cries as your eyes welled with more tears.
“Okay, I’m here,” He responded.
“No,” You rushed your response before taking a deep breath, continuing.
“In person, I need to talk to you.” Your voice grew more petite, more vulnerable, and smaller after every word.
“ ‘Course,” He shot out of bed as he rushed to dress into something more decent than his pjs.
“Can- can you meet me at the park?”
“In five."
Rain again. Ironic.
He stepped out of his car and began his search. He didn’t really search because he knew where you’d be in the park's secret garden. You were already there. Standing silent.
"You should’ve told me." You started the moment he got close enough to hear.
“I tried, but you wouldn’t listen.”
“I know, I’m sorry, it just felt so unfair at the time.”
"Unfair…?" Katsuki’s voice is barely a whisper at first, hoarse like he’s been shouting at ghosts.
"You think I don’t know it’s unfair? You think I don’t replay that night over and over — the way you looked at me like I was a stranger, like I was the one who stabbed you in the back?" His voice rose with every word.
His eyes shone, red-rimmed and tired, and his hands trembled as he tried to keep them at his sides. "I couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t eat. Couldn’t do anything but wonder if you were safe, if you were hurting as badly as I was. I wanted to call. God, I wanted to. But I thought… I thought you hated me. I thought if you heard my voice, it’d just make it worse for you. And when you came to my agency for the first time, you proved me right, and I couldn’t be mad at you. I probably would’ve felt the same if our roles were reversed. But then, then we got closer. Started over just for you to shit on me again!" He swallows hard, voice breaking.
"You say you were the victim, but Y/n, I was already on my knees begging every fucking night. I was drowning. Every fucking rumor, every side glance from our friends — it was like everyone was screaming that I’d lost you and it was all my fault."A single tear slips down his cheek, and he doesn’t bother to wipe it away.
"I didn’t cheat. I’d never do that. But when you saw us together, the look on your face… it broke me. Because I knew you’d already decided what kind of man I was. And nothing I said could change it."He moves closer, almost reaching for you before pulling back like he’s afraid you’ll shatter if he touches you.
"I was never asking you to say sorry. I just… I just needed you to know I love you more than anything, and I’ve been losing my mind without you. And if you still think I’m the villain in this… then I’ll go. But don’t ever think I didn’t fucking care. Don’t ever think I wasn’t fucking trying, Y/n. Because I never stopped trying."
"Trying? Katsuki, you think I didn’t see that? You think I didn’t know you were hurting too?" Your voice cracks, thick with tears you've been holding back for too long.
"But every second I waited for you to come for me after that night of our first real argument, the one where you left for days, it felt like proof you didn’t care enough to fight. I kept hoping I’d wake up to a message, a call, something. But there was nothing—just… silence. And I spiraled. I told myself you’d moved on, that the rumors were true, because at least that made the pain make sense." You let out a shaky breath, tears streaming now, unstoppable.
"I ran because I was scared, Katsuki. Scared that I wasn’t enough, that you’d found someone who made you happier, someone easier to love. And when you told me all those horrible but true things about myself, when I saw you with her, it was like every nightmare I had about losing you was playing out right in front of me." Your hands ball into fists at your sides as you try to keep your voice steady, but it’s hopeless.
"And you — you were so desperate to explain, but all I heard was the sound of my heart breaking. Because what if you were lying? What if I let myself believe you, and I got hurt even worse? I couldn’t risk it, Katsuki. I couldn’t." You step closer, breathless, eyes searching his like they’re the only thing tethering you to the world.
"You think I don’t trust you, but it’s not that simple. I want to. God, I want to. But I don’t know how to come back from this. How do I pretend I didn’t see what I saw? How do I un-hear all those venomous words and those rumors that ate me alive?" You cried.
You finally reach out, fingers brushing his shirt like you're afraid he’ll disappear. "I don’t hate you. I never did. I just… I’ve been so lost without you. So lost in my self-plaguing thoughts that I wasn’t good enough for you. That I was dragging you into that rabbit hole of toxicity and despair, I had to give up on us, even if I didn’t want to, even when my very soul was breaking. But if there’s even a chance you still haven’t given up on us… I don’t know if I can let you go a second time." Your eyes were filled with hopefulness.
The sky above is an endless stretch of black with grey clouds heavy with unshed rain — like the world itself is holding its breath. You stand in the middle of your old meeting spot, the park where you’d once shared secrets and laughter under the stars. Now, everything feels cold. Hollow.
"Y/n," he breathes, voice softer than you've ever heard it. The sight of him — tired eyes, clenched jaw, the desperate vulnerability in his expression — makes your heart twist painfully.
"Why does it feel like we’re standing at the edge of the world?" You whisper, voice breaking. "Like if I take one more step, I’ll lose you forever?"
He steps closer, hands reaching for yours, fingers brushing like they’re trying to memorize the shape of them one last time. "Because we are," he says hoarsely.
"I don’t want this. I swear to god, Y/n, I don’t want this. But we’re tearing each other apart. Every fight, every doubt… It’s killing us."
Your lips quiver as memories flood in — the way he’d pull you into his lap after a rough day, how his laugh could fill a room, the way he’d whisper I love you when he thought you were asleep.
"I don’t know how to stop loving you," You choke out, tears slipping free.
"I don’t think I’ll ever stop," he admits, voice raw. His thumb brushes a tear from your cheek, lingering like it’s the last time he’ll ever get to touch you.
"Then why can’t we fix this?" You plead, voice cracking. "Why does loving you hurt so much, but not having you hurts more?"
His eyes shimmer, bright with unshed tears. "Because love isn’t always enough," he whispers. "Not when we don’t trust each other. Not when every word we shout feels like it could shatter us when we fight."
The wind picks up, rustling the leaves overhead. For a moment, you both just stand there. His head came down to press his forehead against yours. Neither wants to move. Neither wants to let go.
"I wish things were different," You murmur, voice barely audible.
"Me too," He breathes. His hand drops from your face, but his fingers linger on your sleeves like they don’t want to leave. "You’ll always be my what-if, Y/n. My almost. My everything."
A sob rips from your chest. You clutch his shirt, desperate to pull him close — but instead, force yourself to step back, each inch of distance feeling like tearing open a wound.
"Goodbye, Katsuki," You whisper, voice breaking completely.
He stands frozen, breathing hard, eyes locked onto yours like he’s memorizing every line of your face.
"Goodbye, Y/n," he says raggedly, voice barely holding together. He forces his lungs to stop breathing because if he takes one more breath, he’ll let all his cries out. So he lets his eyes water and reden from his tears.
You turn and walk away, every step heavier than the last. Behind you, you hear a strangled sound escape him — and when you risk a glance over your shoulder, he’s still standing there, eyes wide and shattered, like his whole world just walked away. Because it was.
The rain finally starts to fall, soft and cold, masking the tears on both of your faces as you part ways — two hearts still in love, but too broken to stay together.
The rain soaks your hair as you walk away, each step feeling like a betrayal to your own heart. You don’t dare look back again — because if you do, you know you’ll crumble, and you need to stay strong. The path feels endless, every footfall echoing along with the words goodbye in your head.
Behind you, Katsuki stands frozen, the cold rain dripping from his hair, mixing with the tears he refuses to wipe away. He watches your shrinking figure until it blurs into the mist of rain. He wants to scream, to chase you, to do anything — but his feet are rooted, heavy with heartbreak.
"You’re really going to let her walk away?" a voice cuts through the storm behind him.
He whirls around to see Ochako, umbrella forgotten at her side, her eyes fierce despite the rain pelting her face. "You think you’re sparing her by letting her go? You think you’re protecting her? Katsuki, she doesn’t want protection — she wants you. She was begging for you." Ochako let out her own sob, her heart broken for you both.
He clenches his jaw, chest heaving, eyes broken. "She deserves better. She deserves someone who doesn’t make her doubt herself, someone who doesn’t mess everything up—"
"She deserves someone who fights for her," Ochako snaps, stepping closer, voice shaking with urgency.
"Do you really think she’ll stop loving you just because you let her go? Do you really think either of you will ever be whole again if you don’t at least try? News flash, idiot," She stepped before him, fire in her eyes. “You both tried that, and where did it lead you? Here, back to each other, and you finally get her back just to turn her away?!” She practically shouted beyond confused and angry for him. For years, he's moped and gone about his life, being sad and depressed about losing you, and he finally gets you back just to reject you?
"Are you trying to be petty?"
"The fuck? No-"
"Then what could you possibly have aimed for by turning her away?" She shouted through the rain. He stood quite, unable to answer because he didn't even know why he did what he did.
"Do you not love her?"
"What?" His eyes got dark with something new. Something different than sadness.
"Do you hate her?" He was back. His eyes flared with rage as he crowded her.
"Don't you ever say some bullshit like that again to me." He snarled like she'd personally offended him and his entire bloodline.
"Then that's enough, Bakugou." She reasoned, to which his interest peaked at her words, not fully understanding her yet, so she pressed on.
"Loving someone is more than a reason to stay." She paused before continuing. "That's like the whole fucking point to loving someone you moron!" She finished, loud and proud as she spoke with her own experience in her mind and heart.
Katsuki’s eyes widened, his breath catching painfully in his throat. Ochako’s words hit him like a blast, rattling the fear that’s kept him paralyzed. Images flood his mind: Your smile, your sleepy voice murmuring his name, the way your hand always found his even in a crowd. The time when you were broken up. The sleepless nights. Seeing that precious smile for another man. The nights he lay awake, wishing he could hold you. Crying and begging anyone at the darkest of nights to bless him with getting you back in his arms.
"Fuck," he whispers, eyes darting in the direction you left. "Fuck, fuck, fuck—"
"Go!" Ochako shouts, her voice fierce even through the storm.
He bolts, sprinting down the path you took, water splashing up around his feet as he tears through the rain. His lungs burn, but he pushes harder, heart pounding with a single desperate thought. I can’t lose her.
He catches sight of you up ahead — a lonely figure in the downpour, head bowed, shoulders trembling. His voice rips from his chest, ragged and raw.
"Y/N!"
You freeze. Turning around, eyes wide with disbelief, tears already blending with the rain. Katsuki skids to a stop in front of you, breathless, soaked, eyes blazing.
"I was wrong," he gasps, voice cracking. "I thought letting you go would protect you, but it’s killing me. I can’t live like this — I can’t live without you. Please, Y/n, I’ll do anything. I’ll prove every day that I’m worth your trust. Just… don’t walk away from me again."
You stare at him, eyes shining with fear and hope, chest heaving like you can’t catch your breath. "Katsuki… You’re right. I don’t know if we can fix this," you whimper.
He steps closer, cupping your face with trembling hands. "I was wrong!” He cried before continuing desperately. “Let’s try. Let’s mess up together. Let’s learn together. Just don’t leave. I love you too damn much to let you go again." He begged as he allowed his tears to fall. Only ever for you will he let them.
For a heartbeat, the world is silent except for the rain — then you throw your arms around him, burying your face in his neck. He holds you so tightly like he’ll never let go.
"I love you," You sobbed. "I love you, Katsuki."
"I love you more," he chokes out, pressing his forehead to yours, the storm raging around them — but in their arms, they’ve found shelter again. Katsuki pulls you in for a kiss—deep, passionate, yearning. Years of suffrage and pure yearning were extinguished and instead replaced by the sparks of their returning love.
Tears welled in your eyes, spilling down your cheeks and mingling with the kiss. He kissed them away without words, his mouth moving against yours with a hunger that carried both apology and promise. Every press of his lips said what neither had dared to speak aloud.
I’m sorry. I need you. Don’t let this end.
When they finally broke apart, both were gasping, foreheads pressed together, their breaths mixing in the fragile space between them. Katsuki’s voice was low, almost broken.
“I thought losing you was something I could handle, something that we needed,” he admitted, thumb brushing your jaw. “But I was wrong. So very fuckin’ wrong. I can’t—I don’t want to live without you.” He finished with a hand moving wet strands of your hair out of your face before resting it to cradle it with his giant palm. Your heart ached, but in that ache was the fierce relief of finally being seen. Your voice was soft, trembling.
“Then don’t let go this time. If you stay, Katsuki… if you really stay… I’ll forgive everything.”
“I don’t want you to forgive everything. I'd like us to start fresh. Start over. Let’s forget everything and build something new. I want to grow with you. I want to build something better with you, only you.” He whispered breathlessly just above your lips. You smiled with true love and adoration before speaking.
“I’d love that.” You nodded your head in agreement, and with those words, he kissed you again—gentler now, reverent, as if you were the only thing left in the world worth holding onto. Because You were.
It wasn’t perfect. Their relationship. They still argued. Still had their baggage. Still hurt, sometimes.
But they faced it together now. Never turning or running away, just running to each other.
No more misunderstandings, and if there were, they sat down and honestly talked to one another.
No more silence.
Only love.
And the fire that never really went out with the Sparks That Stayed…
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{A/n} Thank you all for reading this fic! To those who've been waiting since Spring, I'm so sorry it took me wayyyy longer than I promised to get this one out. I took a break from writing as life has gotten the better of me. I hope I delivered this fic beautifully, and I hope you all enjoyed it! I wanted to experiment and try something
a little different, and have a very long argument, as I felt it was
more realistic than something short. I also wanted this to be more angst than fluff, as the whole point of this fic was yearning angst with the slowest of slow burn of exs to lovers. If you loved this story and haven’t already, feel free to check out my master list to read some others!! Tysm for reading, and please come again!!🥰🫶🏼💕
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You're a starry-eyed freshman who's whole life has been nothing but rules. However, college meant freedom.
During move in week you spend the first few days acclimating to campus life, you know the mundane things like showering with your sandals on and navigating your tiny closet. It wasn't until a couple of the girls on your floor you befriended started talking about this party that you realized how promising this new environment could be.
Upon hearing it your ears perked up. Not that you had never partied before, but this was new, and you were fully prepared to take full advantage of your situation.
So you and you spent that Thursday evening preparing for war. SigEp was the house on campus, and it was no laughing matter. You were only a freshman but already had plenty of knowledge on the kind of boys found behind the walls of the castle (or whatever they called that place).
Before you knew it, your new entourage stumbled into your dorm, decorated with glitter, swinging bottles of Svedka, and fierce spirits ablaze. It took no time at all before the lot of you were giggling obsessively. Then, after a final round of shots, the uber arrived. Your chateau.
You linked arms with one another and compliantly stepped into the vehicle, silly girls looking for silly trouble, with no regard for what's about to take place.
The drive was short, and while sitting atop your friend's lap in a vehicle pushing 60 in a 40, you come to the conclusion you may have overdone it at the pregame. Bu the minute the car comes to a halt, all that unsureness dissipates, leaving behind a vodka filled excitement that has your stomach turning and legs wobbling.
While practically falling out of your uber your eyes catch a glimpse fo the house, and see a Line out the door. Down and around the block, your breath hitched.
"Is it always this long?" You leaned over and murmured to your roommate, Ochaco.
"Momo said she knowns a guy, I wouldn't worry!" She chimes.
So filled with drunken fear, and painful excitement, you and your crew fumbled to the front of the line, where a loud boy with bright red hair called out to Momo.
She waved back and smiled, while they exchanged a few slurred words.
"Come in! Come in! Pledges are in the back passing out seltzers, or whatever the fuck. Todoroki is in charge of them tonight, he'll be excited to see you."
You hear some people huff behind you, regardless Momo giggles and gives her thanks.
The SigEp house was huge, the brothers called it the castle because it had 4 levels. There was also a funny victorian-esque quality to it as they had decorated the house with suits of armor and flags. However, at this moment, all you could see in front of you were sweaty bodies thumping around.
You stayed with your cohort, unsure of the atmosphere, loud music threatening your eardrums and beating your heart on command. Stained sofas and bright lights. Sticky floors attempted to twist your ankle as you stumbled around in awe.
The stench of sweat and tequila filled your nose while you surveyed the room, along with the bodies in it, until one catches your eye.
A tall man, blonde, wearing a black polo with some light blue shorts and flip-flops. He was huddled around some friends, with a discerning amount of boredom considering the current surroundings you found yourselves in. You couldn't help but admire his strong arms, muscular from working out you assumed. The you moved on to his legs, also tone and powerful looking, you wondered what they felt like under your hips. During your ogling, he looked up from his drink, and in a moment of weakness had caught you.
You locked eyes for a moment, before you smirked and turned away.
Little did you know your moves were being watched. Sharp, red eyes with calculating movement watched as your slender figure swayed with your friend. Processing the way your hair moved across your back.
After one too many bapples, and an ungodly amount of bong rips, Bakugou felt invincible. He know he has his pick of the litter when it comes to women. However most of them never made it past a drunken one night stand. He has yet to find one who he deems worthy enough, one that he can call his.
Although, in the moments you two shared eye contact he saw something vaguely familiar in your eyes. Something taunting that he wanted to learn more about. So he sought you out. Quick, pointed steps were taken while seemed to open a path leading directly towards you.
Meanwhile the drinks left your head buzzing and your hips loose. Your mini skirt was riding up in the back while you bounced around with Mina and Ochaco. Suddenly you felt something -- no someone press up behind you and your stomach dropped.
"Come with me, now." A rough voiced grumbled into your ear. You turned and realized it was him. Your stomach tightened in want. You both looked at eachother for a moment, analyzing eachothers features. You noted the blown out pupils in his eyes and the way his tongue slid across his lips as he awaited your response. He looked determined and sure, it made you fucking horny. You spun around, back to Ochaco and Mina, only to find them dancing with some other boys. Seeing as your friends were occupied, you slipped away with the boy.
He lead you away, up a staircase, through dark hallways and stuffy chambers, until you guys made it into what seemed like a bedroom. It was surprisingly clean for a fratboy's room. After you heard the door click shut you turned to face the boy, only to be assaulted by a pair of rough lips.
Your body keened at the contact, rough hands melted to your waist as he moved you toward the bed, bodies held close together. Your head was spinning from the alcohol, or was it him -- you weren't too sure.
You both crumbled on top of the mattress, kicking your shoes off in the process. He licked up your jaw, you let out a soft hum.
"I can see right through you. I know what you want, you'll have to work for it." He mused.
summary: katsuki doesn’t speak much these days, or listen for that matter. he just tries his best to hold on, like he can keep you here if he never lets go. but the rainy thunder rolls, your breath slows, and goodbye lingers on his coffee mug where your final stain of lipstick clings.
notes: katsuki bakugou x sick!reader, based on heaven by mitski, angst, death
word count: 881
˚○ ୨୧ masterlist navi
all of our love filling all of our room
your low warm voice curses
as you find the string to strike within me
that rings out a note heard in heaven
your hand is warm in his. damp with sweat, your fingers curl weakly around his. katsuki presses his other hand over yours, as if his touch alone could anchor you here. his eyes stay fixed on your chest, watching the slow, unsteady rise and fall, it being his only sense of hope.
you're sick, and all you can talk about is what heaven will be like. he can't bear to listen, so he's tuned you out.
your voice is quiet, raspy at the edges, murmuring names of people you’ve missed and places you hope exist on the other side. he nods when he needs to, hums in the right places, just enough to convince you he’s with you in the conversation.
you’ve made peace with dying. you speak of it with a strange calm, like you’re planning a trip. he hates it. hates the way you’ve described your own funeral in detail. hates that you made him promise things he doesn’t remember because he was ignoring your stupid rambles. you have no hope. any shred you once had left as soon as you became bedridden.
every morning, you ask your fiancé to do your makeup. you hate watching him sit and stare at you, all of the words he has stored inside of him unable to spill out. and anyhow, it gives you something to hold onto— a little routine, a little vanity, even as your body withers. he painted your lips with a shade you used to wear out on dates, even though it only ends up smudged on his mug as you sip from it with shaky hands. it's cold now, he only took one sip before forgetting about it entirely on the nightstand.
katsuki grunts softly, brushing his thumb over the back of your hand. when your voice finally quiets, he exhales like he's surfaced from underwater. "you look pretty." he murmurs.
really, you're far from it. your hair is tangled, skin pale and stretched thin, your lips cracked beneath the lipstick. but it warms your slow beating heart.
you hand the mug to him, letting him put it back on the nightstand. your lipstick's a little smudged, worsening how it looks on your dried out lips.
"when i die," you begin to croak out after a passing moment, and he’s slipping back into the fog, blocking out your words like static. small curses tumble out, his voice low and gruff. your head turns to a window in the shared bedroom, watching as rain begins to pour from the sky, hard and heavy.
katsuki knows you like the rain. you liked snuggling up with him in bed as he read to you, his voice gentle and warm. you liked going outside and kissing him, all soaked like in the movies. you liked the adrenaline of running to the car when you were both on an unprepared walk back from a restaurant.
his grip on your hand tightens. he lifts it to his lips, pressing a kiss to your engagement ring, his mouth lingering there like a prayer.
your eyes are glued to the glass, smiling faintly as you spot lightning. "zeus is saying hi!" as you used to say whenever you spotted it. you don't now, because truthfully, you know this is one of your last if not the last moment of your life.
katsuki's finding it harder to tune you out. he's overwhelmed by the loud pattering of rain against the window, deep thunder growling every few seconds, your nonstop rambling, still going on about heaven this and heaven that.
"i love you, katsuki bakugou." you mutter, finally turning away from the window to look at your lover one final time. his eyebrows pinch, the wrinkles on his forehead deep as he scowls.
"don't do that." he says, soft but firm. it slips from him like he's been rehearsing to tell you. he squeezes your hand, his gaze intense as a tear slips down your cheek. he shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut as he drops his head, drowning out your words. he doesn't want to hear it. it's not your time yet. the world can't really be this cruel, not to you.
he doesn't hear you as you mutter, "i'll see you in heaven, husband" with a weak smile and tears falling down your tired face.
thunder rumbles again. katsuki releases your hand just for a second, rising from the bed to shut the curtains— the ones you insisted on picking out. the light vanishes. the room sinks into gray and quiet.
it's dim and gloomy, but as he steps to sit next to you in bed again, he can just barely make out your closed eyes.
he stares, frozen right in front of the bed. his hands clench at his sides, blinking profusely. he swallows, reluctantly sitting down, the mattress shifting beneath his weight "you goin to sleep?" he whispers, clinging to the illusion, of the one strand of hope you offered to him.
when you don't respond like he thought you wouldn't, he hesitantly presses two fingers to the pulse point on your wrist. and the shred of optimism handed to him by you falls away into the abyss. there’s nothing waiting for him except for silence. the kind that swallows everything whole.
now i bend like a willow
thinkin of you
like a murmurin brook
curving about you
as i sip on the rest of the coffee you left
a kiss left of you
CheatingHusband!Bakugou who knew his world was over when he made direct eye contact with you while another woman was naked underneath him. Panic washed over him when you turned around and started running.
CheatingHusband!Bakugou yelled at that other woman to get the fuck out and went to you for forgiveness. He was on the ground tears falling begging for you to not leave. He didn't care how pathetic he looked all he cared about was not losing you.
CheatingHusband!Bakugou who didn't earn a forgiveness from you but did earn a second chance. Relieved and happy he gets up and goes for a hug, but you push him away, it's ok you need time and he understands.
CheatingHusband!Bakugou is working hard to earn your trust again. He's a lot more gentle with you, careful not to overstep any boundaries and shows his respect for you. He tucks you in bed and gently strokes your hair and then kisses your head, "Goodnight baby" he'd say with a soft smile before going back to his place in the couch.
CheatingHusband!Bakugou who started forming tears in his eyes hearing you say what everyone else has been saying. You deserve better. With clenched fists and teary eyes, he sighs and looks away. He let you go because he loves you and that's what you do when you love someone.
CheatingHusband!Bakugou thirteen years later who saved a little boy from a villain attack and brought him to safety. The little boy runs towards his parents where Bakugou catches a glimpse of the mother and the father. The mother looks very familiar and that's when he realized that it was you.
CheatingHusband!Bakugou who stared at the family with wide eyes. The little boy ran into you arms crying, you picked up your son and held him tight with tears in your eyes. The boy's father went in and held both of you.
CheatingHusband!Bakugou who laid in bed looking up at the ceiling that night and started shedding tears as he remembered the years with you. He missed them and he still loved you and he realized you were the one who got away.
a/n: I know I'm all about writing comfort fics but I've had this idea in my head for a while and wanted to write it ^^
