a fic, for @theballumplace and their amazing christmas advent calendar full of wonderful pieces of work🎅🏼
one
There’s a coldness all throughout the room, though there’s a contrast as the bright morning winter sun illuminates the surroundings, all white and golden and beautiful. The beams reach the walls and eventually cascade down onto the bed, hitting Callum’s face.
Callum twitches his nose and squints his eyes, the light already irritating him out of his peaceful slumber. He’s never been one to be able to sleep with any form of light near him. He stretches out his limbs, starting with his legs, and the sheets are still annoyingly tangling around his thighs. He kicks at the sheets gently, attempting to free himself from their tight grasp. Then he moves his arms, and he instantly feels a tension relieving crack at his elbows but mostly his skin is hit with a searing and sharp coldness and he suddenly regrets moving, quickly tucking his arms back under the bed sheets. A soft moan falls from his lips as he rolls over onto his side, getting comfortable and warm once again, clinging onto the last remaining dregs of sleep, hoping and praying for a lazy and slow morning. Ben’s sleeping soundly next to him, and Callum watches as his torso rises and later falls with every breath. It’s peaceful, a calmness between them with no rush nor desire to do anything.
Callum shuffles at an agonisingly slow pace, trying to not disturb Ben with his movements. With every moment that passes, he nudges closer and closer to Ben until eventually he lets his hand - now comfortably warm once again - touch Ben’s back. He delicately traces the curve of Ben’s spine up and down with his index finger, the touch from the knuckle to the fingertip.
A grumble falls from Ben’s mouth, the sound soft and his head falls forward, pulling away from Callum, as he rests it even further into his pillow. “Mornin’.” He says and his voice is thick and deep from his sleep, yet it’s unwittingly soft. Callum can’t help but smile at it, unbelieving that he gets to witness this everyday now. Ben reaches his arm out behind him and grabs onto Callum’s hand, not caring to lock their fingers together, but tugging gently.
Callum understands what Ben wants instantly and complies, shuffling ever closer to Ben, their bodies now finally touching as Callum wraps his arms around Ben, pressing gentle kiss after gentle kiss to the nape of his neck. His hands are touching Ben’s stomach, dropping lower by the second to rest against his waistband, comforting. Their fingers are locking now, threading in the gaps between each finger, all warm and soft. Ben lets out a dry chuckle, a bright beaming smile on his face, though he tries to disguise it by letting his pillow smother his face. Callum wraps his legs around Ben’s, trapping him as a way of stopping him squirming even further into the pillow. The soles of his feet press against Ben’s shins, cold skin against warm, and it’s an all too familiar feeling.
Ben lets out a squeal, which turns into a loud giggling fit when Callum nudges his nose against Ben’s neck even more, kissing him over and over again with hot, wet lips. “Get off!” Ben argues through the giggles erupting from him, showing that there’s not an ounce of malice in his body towards his boyfriend. “You’re freezing! You always put your cold feet on me when we’re in bed together.”
“How about you warm me up then?” Callum counteracts the argument flirtatiously, towering over Ben. He’s pinning Ben down into the mattress now, feet somehow still pressing against Ben’s skin. Their faces are now just centimetres apart, the tension building between them palpable. Ben looks at Callum’s lips and then his eyes flicker up to meet Callum’s, a silent conversation happening between them within just a matter of seconds, though it feels longer. Callum leans down, the muscles in his arms visibly shaking as moves in an excruciatingly slow press up motion. With every second that passes, Callum edges closer to finally share the first proper kiss of the day.
Closer, and closer still.
He can feel Ben’s breath hitting his face - that is, until Ben cheekily manages to break free from the hold Callum has over him, and he rolls over and stretches his body half out of the bed.
Callum rolls his eyes and flops down onto his back, letting out a soft exasperated groan though he’s grateful that he can relax his muscles temporarily.
Ben pops back up, sitting back on the bed, pushing his pillow against the headboard to make himself more comfortable. He’s holding something in his hand, which Callum instantly realises. It’s a present, with shiny gold wrapping paper obscuring the view of what it actually is, but it looks soft, because Callum can see that Ben’s hand just sinks into it without even applying too much pressure.
“Merry Christmas.” Ben smiles, passing the present over to Callum.
Callum takes it, of course he does, but there’s confusion on his face and in his voice. “It’s only the first.”
“I know.” Ben says, and he settles down in the bed, putting his head on his hand, elbow digging into the mattress. “I just fancy doing things a bit differently this year. Open it then.” He nods his head in the direction of the present.
Callum rolls his eyes but smiles nonetheless. He opens up the paper, ripping it right where the tape sticks it together and instantly he recognises what it is. He lets out a laugh, peeling the present from out of the wrapping paper that encases them. “Fluffy socks.” He chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief. “You really bought me fluffy socks?”
Ben grins, looking up to Callum. “I told you, your feet are freezing!”
“Alright, I’ve got the hint now!” Callum laughs. “So, er, if I put these on now, can I have that cuddle?” He asks.
A blush forms on Ben’s cheeks and a shy smile creeps onto his lips. “I suppose so.” He concedes.
two
It’s Callum’s day off from work, and he’s finally free to rest without worrying about anything outside of the four walls that contain him. Callum’s lazing on the sofa, the television playing some morning talk show, but the volume is down low, the sound barely distinguishable. He’s not watching it anyway, with his eyes firmly on his phone in his hands. Ben sneaks his way onto the sofa too, hooking one leg around Callum’s, resting his head gently against Callum’s chest. It’s an embrace exactly like one that would usually happen between them, except Ben’s wearing his suit, but he doesn’t seem to particularly care if it crumples up. All he seems to care about is having one last cuddle with Callum before he has to leave him to go out to work in the cold.
“What are you looking at?” Ben asks, his voice soft and low, barely that of above a whisper and it’s because he’s focusing on the rhythmic thumping of Callum’s heart. It’s calming, being able to hear that - especially when Ben is the cause of the beats thumping quicker occasionally.
Callum wraps one arm around Ben’s body, cradling him into a cuddle, all warm and soft and homely. His arm half loops around Ben’s body and his fingers start to curl through his hair, brushing a few strands that have fallen down, back up. It’s instinctive. “Looking at photos.” Callum admits, pressing a kiss to the crown of Ben’s head, his hair brushing against his nose, tickling him. He slides his thumb across the screen of his phone and another photo appears. A soft chuckle falls from Callum’s lips and Ben raises an eyebrow, silently questioning Callum’s laugh, though he doesn’t turn his head so that Callum can see him. The answer becomes evident once Callum starts to speak though. “That’s my favourite photo of us.” He explains.
“I wonder why.” Ben grins, leaning up to press a kiss to Callum’s lips, craving the warm tingling sensation of their lips touching. When he falls back down into their original embrace, he looks at the photo again. It’s one taken on their first holiday together, a last minute trip to Portugal. They’re standing on a beach, both shirtless with a nice tan warming up their skin. They both have bright, beaming grins and are staring at each other with their arms curling around each other's body. Even from the photo, happiness is just so perfectly evident. “Send it to me.”
Callum cocks an eyebrow, silently questioning Ben, but it’s soon forgotten when Ben straddles Callum’s body entirely, readying himself to climb away from the embrace and off the sofa. He quickly leans down for one final kiss before he has to leave the comfort of their embrace to go to work, knowing that time is unfortunately against him on this occasion. If he could, he’d never leave Callum’s side.
It’s much later in the day when the door finally opens and Ben walks in. The cold seeps in alongside him, the frosty air from outside mixing with the warmth of the house from the heating being on and Callum making their dinner. It’s already dark outside, Callum knows that without even having to look outside. The cold swirling in is more than enough evidence for him to know there’s a lack of sunshine outside.
Ben throws his coat over the arm of the sofa, letting it drop with a soft thud. He kicks off his shoes, not really caring how haphazardly they fall and he wiggles his toes free before he pads over to Callum, who’s standing at the stove. He grins tiredly, his day of work wiping him out, especially with getting home in the dark. He wraps his arms around Callum’s body and one hand is pressing against Callum’s chest, still cold from the sharp wind beating against it outside, and the other hand is holding something. Ben stands on the tips of his toes and leans up a few inches to press a soft kiss to the back of Callum’s neck.
Callum looks down at Ben’s hands and notices silver wrapping paper but he doesn’t really think about it. He turns to face Ben, pivoting on his feet, and instinctively falls into a proper cuddle, Callum’s hold warming Ben up, their hearts beating in time with one another. When they eventually pull apart, the present is between their bodies. Ben holds it out to Callum silently, but there’s a lazy smile on his face.
“Is that for me?” Callum asks, putting his hand to it. Ben hums and nods. “You’re still doing this?”
Ben nods again. “Told you I was doing it differently this year.”
“I didn’t think you meant a present every other day though Ben!” Callum laughs.
“Just, just open it.” Ben says, and he pulls his tie down slightly, letting it lay slack against his chest.
Callum finds the corner of the wrapping paper and opens it up, unfolding it and then ripping it. He lets out a soft chuckle when he rips the majority of the paper, seeing what’s hiding underneath it. “When have you done this?” He asks, laughter bubbling out from him.
“Went shopping during my lunch break.” Ben admits, a beaming smile on his face as he looks at Callum. “You like it?”
“I love it.” Callum says, admiring the photo frame in his hands, just a plain silver one, with his favourite photo of them pride of place inside of it. “Thank you.”
Ben bites at his lip, nervous. “I thought we could put it in our home. Whenever it is we manage to buy one.”
Callum chuckles softly and leans in to press a gentle kiss to Ben’s lips, hooking his index finger under his chin, pushing his face up slightly to get a better angle. He pulls away, but only a little bit, barely millimetres separating their lips. “Is that what you’ve been thinking about?” He asks, his voice soft. “Getting a proper home with me.”
“More than anything.” Ben admits.
three
It’s a crisp winter morning. The air is clear and the windows sit with sparkles of crystals on them, blurring the obnoxiously bright sun, and leaving only the clear blue sky and the yellowness of the sun visible, rather than being able to clearly see each house and bare tree in view. The weather reflects the Christmas season perfectly, and even though there’s only been a few hours of daylight so far, everyone seems to be in good spirits and ready for their day ahead. It might also help that it’s the weekend, which means no work for the most part.
Callum’s in their bedroom, pulling the quilt taut to the edges and tucking it down, trying to tidy the place up a little bit. For some reason, he can’t fully start the day if their bed hasn’t been made. Probably because there’s nothing better than coming home and not having anything to do. Music plays over the radio, slow and relaxing, an old Christmas song from decades past playing, filling up the otherwise silent and easy morning of the house. It’s nice. They aren’t in any sort of rush to get ready and get out of the house. Ben’s still in the bathroom, taking his time with his hair. Callum’s filling his time by doing chores, but it’s still perfect. He knows they will leave the house in their own time, and just take the day as it comes. He finishes tidying the bed, and plumbs up two cushions next to their pillows, letting them sit sloppily. It takes a moment for him to realise though, that there’s an extra thing in their bedroom that wasn’t there earlier.
“Ben.” He shouts, poking his head around the doorframe so see if he’s anywhere to be seen, but he’s not. “Is this my next present?”
He looks at the box left on his bedside table, shiny wrapping paper adorned with white glittery snowflakes obscuring what’s inside. The toilet flushes, and Ben opens the bathroom door. There’s a warm smile on his face, his cheeks all rosy pink before they even go outside. “Yeah.” He nods, walking over to Callum, picking his coat up from it’s temporary place strewn across the sofa arm.
“Can I open it?” Callum asks, picking it up.
Ben smiles softly, shrugging his coat on, over his shoulders. “Course you can.” He says. “It is yours.”
Callum rolls his eyes at that, but it’s more a sign of endearment than anything else. He’s used to comments like that from Ben now. He rips open the wrapping paper, revealing the box inside. He recognises what it is instantly, sort of. “A bottle of aftershave?” He questions, cocking an eyebrow at the same time. He takes it entirely out of its cocoon of wrapping paper, letting the waste drop gently onto the neatly made bed. “That’s not my usual one.”
“I know.” Ben says, and the smile on his face doesn’t fade or falter. He holds out his hands, taking the aftershave bottle from Callum’s hold. “Here.” He says, taking the lid off. Callum moves, trying to take it from Ben’s hands, but Ben somehow skips his hands out of reach from Callum’s, and puts the aftershave underneath his nose. “Smell it.” Ben commands.
It takes Callum a second. Literally only a second. But when he finally does understand, his eyes light up brighter than anything Ben has ever seen before, happiness just so real and right before him. It’s a beautiful, perfect sight, and Ben wishes and prays that he never forgets it for as long as he lives.
“It’s you.” Callum whispers out, like he can’t really believe it and tingles form all over Ben’s body at his words. “It smells exactly like you.”
Ben grins, and the colour of his blush on his cheeks deepen, not even trying to hide it now. He doesn’t care how ridiculous or stupid he may look, because it’s only Callum who gets to see this side of him - and he trusts Callum with his heart and his life. He threads his fingers through the thin hair at the side of Callum’s head, with flicks of his hair curling slightly as it falls next to his ear. “I thought you might like it.” He admits. “I was thinking, maybe you could put it on my clothes that you seem to steal when I’m away.”
Callum smiles softly, letting his head tilt to the side as he falls into Ben’s touch. “I don’t steal your clothes.” He says, but he’s hardly firm about it, because he knows Ben’s right. Callum has been stealing his clothes a lot over the past few months.
“Oh, so I’ve started to buy a bigger size for no reason then?” Ben teases. “There I was getting all my clothes so you could wear them too.”
Callum rolls his eyes, but a smile remains on his lips nevertheless. “Well, maybe a few things. But it’s only because I miss you.”
“I’m not complaining about it babe.” Ben chuckles. “To be honest, I love seeing you wear my clothes. It makes me all warm inside.”
Callum’s smile grows more and more with Ben’s words as he speaks. It gets to the point where he can’t help himself, and he closes the albeit small gap between them, to connect their lips together. Cheesy grins overtake them, and Ben holds onto Callum’s waist, never wanting to let go of him. Callum’s much the same, falling deeper and deeper into the kiss as time goes by, completely towering his tall body over Ben’s, and judging by how Callum’s hands now cover the majority of Ben’s neck, he’s craning backwards to let the kiss go on, allowing Callum to take complete control of it.
When they finally pull apart, their lips are plump and sore and glossy. “Do you like it though?” Ben asks, nodding his head to the bottle of aftershave between them.
“I love it.” Callum admits, linking his fingers with Ben’s, letting their hands fall loosely between them. “Who knew you could be so romantic?”
Ben chuckles softly. “It can be our secret, eh? I have an image to keep.”
four
Ben shrugs on his leather jacket and pulls the hood of his jumper out from where it’s bundling under his top layer. “Do you want anything?” He asks, watching Callum as he sits on the sofa, spread out and comfortable and warm. He looks peaceful.
Callum looks up at Ben, his hair fluffy from his shower and flat across his forehead. There’s a gentle smile on his face, loose but just unrelentingly happy. “Chocolate?” He asks sweetly, pulling the blanket up around his torso even further. “Pretty please?” He flutters his eyelashes dramatically, as if Ben would ever say no to him anyway.
Picking up his credit card and phone, Ben rolls his eyes with a soft shake of his head. “Course.” He says.
There’s a pause for just a moment, when Ben is standing upright, hands shut into a fist, hiding away in the pockets of his leather jacket, and Callum can’t seem to take his eyes off of him. The air between them is warm, probably borderline stuffy, and the smell of red berries from whatever candle Callum’s started to burn overtakes them. Ben takes a step forward, and then another one, and then he releases one hand from the warmth of his pocket, letting it fall to his side for a second before he reaches Callum, allowing his index finger to gently drag some loose hairs to meet the rest, and then the remainder of his fingers thread through the hair, cupping his ear and some of his cheek. Ben’s towering over Callum, and for that reason alone it’s so unlike their usual positions they take up. There’s smiles on both of their faces, happiness so pure and easy between them. Callum cranes his neck just slightly, and if Ben didn’t desperately need to go to the shop to buy some milk for the next morning, he would absolutely be perfectly happy just staying here and never letting go of Callum.
“The shop will be shutting soon.” Callum comments as he snakes his hand up to meet Ben’s, his fingers falling into the gaps left between Ben’s. “You might want to get a move on.”
“Alright.” Ben smiles and finally, finally bridges the gap between them, letting his lips collide with Callum’s, all warm and inviting and full of want. A gentle moan tumbles out from Callum’s mouth and Ben pulls back with a smirk on his lips and a blush flaring up on his cheeks. “I’ll be five minutes.” He confirms, and before he stands up fully to leave, he can’t resist kissing Callum once more.
“Don’t forget my chocolate!” Callum half shouts out once Ben’s near the door, reaching out for the handle.
A gentle chuckle falls from Ben’s lips, smile beaming and his eyes bright. “I won’t.” He adamants. “It’s on my list.”
Outside, it’s freezing. There’s a bitterly sharp wind, like tiny pins sticking into skin with every gust of it. Twinkling lights of multi colours mix with the street lights, illuminating the pavement so Ben can see where he’s walking - even if he already knows this place like the back of his hand. Each step, he’s taken before. He’s probably stood in the same gum mark on the path multiple times. There’s a calmness to the night, even if part of him jumps each time he sees someone coming towards him, or even hears a sound. He doesn’t falter though; instead he just carries on walking, twisting his credit card round and round in circles in his pocket. If he looks closely enough, he can see his breath curling into the air, thick at first and then fading away into nothingness. It distracts him for just a moment, until he’s brought back into his own reality when he steps into the Minute Mart, the bright white light blinding him temporarily with its sharp contrast to the outside
There’s a random shopkeeper behind the tills. Ben’s definitely seen him before, but hasn’t cared enough to find out their name. He doesn’t even care now, and he picks up the nearest bottle of milk he can find. He walks to where all the sweets are, and he realises that nothing has really changed from when he was Lexi’s age. The layout has largely remained the same. He finds Callum’s favourite chocolate easily, like a reflex he has just leads him there without ever really thinking about it. He looks at the wrapper, and notices a two for one sticker, so he decides to pick an extra one up, just to keep his boyfriend happy and content. He looks around the shop, quickly trying to decide if they need anything else in the house - and then he realises.
The only reason Callum wants chocolate, is because he’s been snacking on the sweets and chocolate in the Christmas drawer.
Ben rolls his eyes, and picks up an empty basket, putting the milk and chocolate bars in there, and then bags upon bags of sweets, and maybe a few extra chocolate bars. All because Callum’s been eating part of everyone’s Christmas presents. Ben’s just grateful he brought his credit card rather than cash.
He puts the basket next to the till and asks for a bag.
The walk back is even colder, probably because one of his hands are exposed to the elements, having to carry a bag. He’s grateful when he reaches the front door, ready to experience the warmth once again, and to stay basking in it for the remainder of the night. Mainly though, he’s got excitement bubbling away inside of him at the thought of seeing Callum again. When he opens the door, he can hear the television playing, and Callum laughing to himself at something that’s just been on. He steps closer to the noise and a smile creeps onto his face when he sees Callum, wearing Ben’s own dressing gown now, letting the material of it brush against his face comfortingly.
Ben picks out one of the chocolate bars and throws it gently onto Callum’s lap. “Your present for the day.” He announces.
Callum picks it up and smiles, his eyes matching the bright grin. “You’re amazing.” He coos.
A low hum escapes Ben’s lips, which are growing into a smile at Callum’s words. “Don’t think I’ve not noticed the Christmas chocolate going missing by the way.” He says absentmindedly, slotting the milk into the fridge.
Ben looks back at Callum and almost laughs. He’s got a faux innocent smile on his face, though Ben knows him well enough to also see the guilt he’s trying to hide.
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” Callum comments, looking everywhere but in Ben’s direction, knowing that his boyfriend can read him like a book.
“Course you don’t.” Ben nods. He holds up the shopping bag, now with just new sweets and chocolates in. “I’m hiding this lot, so don’t even bother trying to find them.”
five
There’s a lot of traits from Ben that it’s become clear Lexi has inherited. Their love for music and dancing and dressing up, just some of many. But if there’s one thing Lexi hasn’t inherited from her dad, it’s her height. She’s taller than most children her age, though it’s not really by a large margin. The thing is though, she’s still not really tall enough to reach certain things, but that won’t stop her from trying. Her stubbornness is definitely a trait her dad also holds.
It’s early in the morning, with the television playing children’s programmes. It’s something about a dance school, though neither Ben nor Callum actually know what’s going on. Lexi seems to enjoy it enough for the three of them though. Callum’s in the shower, and Ben’s in the bedroom, leaving Lexi to her own devices to watch her favourite show whilst he puts his clothes on for the day.
Snow is beginning to fall, just a light scattering of it straight after a night of downpour, meaning the snow disintegrates as quickly as it lays down on the pavement. It’s a calm morning all around. That is, until there’s a loud scraping sound and then soon after an almighty smashing sound, as though ceramic has hit the floor from a great height.
Ben quickly puts his shirt over his head, not caring to smooth it out before he leaves the bedroom and searches for the source of the noise. He notices it when he’s only two steps out of his bedroom.
Lexi’s standing in the kitchen, still wearing her pyjamas with her dressing gown warming her up. She’s not wearing any slippers though, and that’s exactly what scares Ben. Surrounding her feet are shards of ceramic, some tiny chips and some large and sharp and dangerous. She’s bright red in the face and looks as if she’s about to burst into tears at any given moment.
“Don’t move.” Ben says as he walks over to his daughter, not caring if he gets any shards stuck in his feet - he can handle it. He lifts her up swiftly, and she becomes almost baby-like again, letting her head fall into the warmth of his neck, shutting her eyes tightly. Ben turns on his feet and carries her to where he knows there’s no broken ceramic and puts her down again. “Stay over here, I’ll tidy it up.”
Lexi nods vigorously but she remains silent, rubbing at her red eyes.
The bathroom door squeaks open and Callum walks out, wearing joggers and one of his old shirts. His hair is dripping wet and falling all over his face in a mess. “What’s happened?” He asks, scanning his eyes around the room. “I heard a smash.”
That sets Lexi off then, tears bubbling from her eyes and her lip quivering like there’s no tomorrow. “I’m so sorry Cal!” She exclaims, running up to him to hug him. “You don’t hate me do you?”
“Course I don’t.” He says, using his soft voice that he reserves just for two of the most important people to him - Ben and Lexi. “It’s just a mug, I can get a new one. The most important thing is you’re safe.”
Callum picks her up and he watches as Ben brushes the broken mug into the dustbin. Lexi’s shaky breath falls against his neck but she soon calms herself down, and everything’s fine.
A few days pass, and Callum still hasn’t gone out and bought a new mug. The snow did continue though, this time actually sticking to the concrete, building thicker and thicker as time goes by. So he’s got a valid excuse as to why he hasn’t gone out to buy a new one just yet.
It’s the early morning and he’s standing in the kitchen, leaning against the cupboards. In his hands, is Ben’s mug, holding a cup of tea. Callum’s never really been a tea nor a coffee drinker, but it’s a newfound thing that he can’t get the day started unless he’s had a quick tea, rather than having a hot chocolate to start his day. It’s still dark outside, the street lights still beaming and lighting up the darkness, though it’s almost time for the sun to start creeping out.
Ben joins him, putting some bread in the toaster. He nods towards the mug in Callum’s hands, knowing that it’s his own. “Have you still not got a new one?” He enquires.
Callum shakes his head, putting the cup under the warm water tap, rinsing it out a few times before he puts it upside down on the drainer. “Not yet.” He says. “I haven’t been out anywhere have I?”
Ben lets out a soft chuckle and reaches into a cupboard, pulling out a brown box. He hands it out to Callum, who looks down at it and then back up to Ben. “Here.” Ben says, and there’s a smile in his voice, as though he’s giddily proud of himself.
The box has no wrapping paper on to hide what it could be, so Callum knows with just one look. “You didn’t.” He says, rolling his eyes but a disbelieving laugh bubbles out from his lips nonetheless.
“I’m not letting you use mine all the time.” Ben says. “I do love you, but I also love my coffees slightly more.”
“Charming.” Callum replies, but he knows Ben’s just teasing. He takes the small cardboard box from his boyfriends hand and opens it up, taking the new mug out of it. “When did you get this?”
Ben takes the cardboard box and flattens it in his hands. “Ordered it the other night. It came yesterday, I just forgot to give you it.”
Callum chuckles. “I was wondering when my next present would be.” He admits. “Thanks for this anyway, saves me a job of trying to find one somewhere.”
Callum mimics drinking from it, which allows Ben to see the base of the mug. A smile breaks out on Ben’s face, a toothy grin which confuses Callum, who raises an eyebrow. “What?” He asks.
“Nothing.” Ben says, and he’s grateful that his toast pops up so the conversation drops into nothingness.
Ben guesses Callum will find out the bottom of the mug is emblazoned with ‘gay’ in a bold print soon enough.
six
Windows ice over, all misty and frozen. It’s the early evening, and yet with the slow day and the night creeping around quicker and quicker each day, it feels much later. Stars are out in force, lighting up the otherwise black sky alongside the moon. Snow is still on the ground, albeit all slushy and brown and with more footprints than actual crisp, white snow. Inside, Ben and Callum are lazing on the sofa, the television playing a Christmas film, making them feel warm and festive. A fluffy blanket covers them, wrapping around their legs and running out of material when it reaches their stomachs. Ben’s leaning into Callum, his back just against Callum’s chest, allowing the older man to snake his arms around Ben’s body, holding him there and warming him up. Ben’s hand is against one of Callum’s, skin touching skin, and Ben can’t tell if it’s his hand that’s cold, or Callum’s. They’re one and the same. Their fingers entwine loosely, and they don’t even question it. Right here, right now, it just seems perfect to be in this position.
On the television, the romantic leads are having their first kiss, under the mistletoe and lit up in the technicolours of Christmas lights from the tree behind them. Music surrounds them and then suddenly the credits start to roll. Ben turns his face to get closer to Callum, not looking up at him, but putting his face into Callum’s chest.
“Do you remember our first kiss?” Ben asks, his voice full of sleep and exhaustion.
Callum lets out a soft smile and threads his fingers through the hair at the back of Ben’s head, holding him close. “Course I do.” He says. “How could I forget that? I was so nervous when I saw you there.”
Ben peels away from Callum’s chest and looks up at him through fluttering eyelashes. “You asked me there!” He chuckles.
“I didn’t think you’d come though.” Callum admits, looking down at Ben. They’ve really come so far. “I’m glad you did.”
“So am I.” Ben chuckles. “Even if you did threaten to smash my head in.”
Callum rolls his eyes and opens his mouth as if to respond, but his words quickly fall silent when Ben’s lips connect with Callum as if his life depends on the touch. Ben’s pushing himself up, allowing his lip to connect with Callum’s, a clash of teeth quickly forgiven and forgotten as Ben bites down on Callum’s bottom lip, enticing his way in. Callum’s hands quickly fall to Ben’s waist, holding him in place without any real pressure, making sure that Ben can move any which way he wants to move. It’s moments later, seconds really, that Ben starts to straddle Callum, his face now higher up than Callum’s, making the older man stretch into the kiss. There’s a huffing moan from Callum, right from his throat, and it fills the entire room. Ben’s lips curl up into a grin then, and he puts his hands at either side of Callum’s face before he pulls away. His eyes open a fraction before Callum’s, and he’s so grateful for that because Callum looks so full of bliss with his lips still in a puckering position and his eyes shut, not wanting to let go of the kiss. His skin is smooth, with not a crease to be found anywhere. Ben strokes at Callum’s cheeks with the pads of his thumbs and it somehow teases Callum’s eyes open.
There’s a silence between them for a moment, Ben looking at Callum full of love and adoration and surprise; and Callum watching Ben’s eyes as they trace Callum’s face. Callum notices tears start to form in Ben’s eyes, looking all glassy and wet.
“What’s wrong?” Callum asks, circling his thumbs over Ben’s skin, right where his jumper has ridden up, exposing parts of his flesh.
Ben shakes his head softly, dismissing Callum’s questioning. His thumb brushes against Callum’s bottom lip, just ever so slightly. Callum can’t help himself, and presses a gentle kiss to the pad of Ben’s thumb. Ben grins and falls down, finally kissing Callum again. It’s a slow kiss this time, full of emotions and memories and want and need and it’s just as perfect as a kiss can be.
When Ben pulls away again, it’s because tears are starting to make their way out of his tear ducts. “Our first kiss.” Ben speaks, trying to catch his breath. He sniffs his nose before he talks again. “It means a lot to me. It’s important to me.”
Callum smiles softly, his heart warm, and his cheeks replicate that with the blossom pink blush across them. He wraps his arms around Ben’s body, hands now spreading out across his back, somehow holding Ben closer. “It means the world to me too.” Callum admits, and even though Ben knows that already, hearing it is just something else entirely. “You allowed me to be me for the first time in my life, didn’t you? It was perfect, and yet somehow every kiss after that has been even better.”
Ben rolls his eyes endearingly and lets out a soft chuckle. “Soppy.”
“You still haven’t given me today’s present.” Callum says.
Ben raises an eyebrow questioningly. “Who says you’re getting one?” He teases.
Callum reciprocates Ben’s facial expression until Ben breaks out into a laugh, climbing out of Callum’s hold to stand up, letting the blanket fall to the floor. He stretches his hands out above his head and then walks into their bedroom.
Callum watches as Ben disappears from view, only to reappear moments later, holding a large gift bag in his hands, a present with wrapping paper all around it just peeking out over the top. Ben places the gift on Callum’s lap, and then walks around so he can sit down right next to Callum.
“Open it then.” Ben smiles and nods towards the present, watching as Callum’s fingers skim over it, as though he’s waiting for a sign to start opening it.
He tears open the paper at Ben’s allowance, a large rip all down the front of the present, quickly exposing it. Callum lifts the present out of the wrapping paper and turns it around so he can see what it is. His eyes scan over it, a poster in a black wooden frame. The background is white, and in the centre of it is a black circle, with white and golden flecks patterning it, almost creating an image. Underneath the circle is a date. The sixth of June, 2019.
“Our first kiss.” Callum breathes out, running his thumb over the glass where the writing is.
Ben grins. “It’s a star chart from that night.” He explains. “I wanted to remember it forever. I remember walking home afterwards, and looking up at the sky and seeing all the stars and it was so beautiful. I just kept wondering how I managed to get so lucky.”
Callum smiles softly and falls into Ben’s side, letting Ben wrap his arm around Callum’s waist. “You’re amazing.” He says, his voice full of love and adoration. “Thank you.”
seven
Ben’s sitting on the bedroom floor with his legs spread out in front of him. He’s aching, his bones sore because of the cold, but right now he doesn’t seem to care, not one bit at all. He’s having a lazy day, so lazy that he’s not even bothering to get out of his pyjamas, and all he wants is to play some music to accompany his morning.
In their bedroom is a desk, with an old record player on top of it. They found it not long ago on the market, being sold for only twenty pounds. It was a bargain, especially given Callum’s bulging collection of records with nothing to play them on. Underneath the desk is a cardboard box, fraying at the sides and the top, with industrial tape patching it up in places it’s broken over the years. Inside the cardboard box is the collection of Callum’s records. Some are the original releases, found in charity shops over the years, or ones he’s managed to hold on to from finding them in childhood, but some are new releases, all pristine and expensive. Ben’s looking through them, trying to find the perfect album to play.
Outside, it’s cold. Car windows are frozen over and there’s invisible ice laying on the floor. Inside though, inside it’s warm and homely and there’s a faint aroma of gingerbread left over from the evening before, when Lexi was begging and pleading for them to make gingerbread houses. Callum watches him, leaning against the doorframe. He’s silent, and Ben doesn’t know he’s standing there. His arms cross in front of him, right leg crossing over his left too. He doesn’t need to speak, not yet. He’s more than content with just watching Ben flick through record after record, occasionally turning the albums over to see which songs he recognises. There’s something just so perfectly domestic about it all.
Ben hums quietly, taking his time as he looks at each individual record, smiling softly when he notices some that Callum speaks about often, tales of how each record came to be in his possession. Ben remembers it all. He remembers everything Callum tells him, even if it’s just in passing.
Callum pushes himself off the doorframe, opening up his arms. He takes two steps, before he speaks, finally breaking the comfortable silence between them with an easy smile across his lips. “What’s your favourite one?” He asks, nodding towards the records in front of Ben.
The breaking of the silence comes at a cost, and Ben’s body instinctively jumps at the shock of hearing Callum’s voice all of a sudden. He looks up, and he’s got a smile spreading across his mouth, because how could he not? He loves mornings like this, he loves being able to spend time with his boyfriend.
Callum’s feet take him right to where Ben’s sitting on the floor. He joins him there, without question, and sits down too. He stretches one arm out across the floor, fingers spreading out as he feels the soft carpet underneath his touch, his index finger rising above the carpet for just a moment to touch Ben gently. Callum smirks when he notices that Ben’s starting to fall into him, edging closer and closer. Their lips finally meet for a moment, and when they pull apart, Callum’s hand is against Ben’s cheek, allowing them to look at each other for just a while longer.
“What did you say?” Ben asks, completely forgetting Callum’s question because of the distraction his boyfriend proves to be.
Callum runs the pad of his thumb over Ben’s cheek, noticing that his stubble is thicker today, probably forgoing to trim it. He nods in the direction of the records again. “What’s your favourite one?” He repeats.
Ben smiles softly, instantly knowing the answer without even having to look through them. He finds it straight away and lifts it up, presenting it to Callum without a word. The album sleeve is a pale yellow, more an ivory shade than anything else. Rumours, by Fleetwood Mac.
Callum lets out a soft chuckle, because he just knows. He knows exactly why this is Ben’s favourite.
“You bought this because of me.” Ben beams. “It’s what was playing on our first long car journey, and then you went out and bought this album.”
Callum grins and nods his head slowly. “I found it in a shop, a week after we made it official between us.” He explains, the memory is warm and fuzzy and it makes him happy. “I thought it was fate.”
Ben slips the vinyl out of the sleeve, gripping it harshly. Callum winces slightly, and wraps his hand around Ben’s without even thinking.
“Don’t touch that part.” Callum teaches. Ben moves his fingers away from the surface of the vinyl, allowing Callum to move his hand into the correct position. “You have to hold the edges, otherwise you could ruin the sound.”
Ben smiles softly and does as Callum tells him, and tentatively puts the vinyl down on the turntable, and gently places the stylus on top of the record. A rhythmic guitar sound starts to play as Ben sits back down on the carpet, this time much closer to Callum, a deliberate move. “I, er, I actually wanted to give you your next present.” He says.
Callum turns to face Ben, and watches as Ben stretches out his body, reaching under their bed. His pyjama shirt rides up, exposing his midriff. “Is it a record?” Callum asks, even though he knows by now that Ben won’t tell him.
Sitting back upright, Ben lets out a soft chuckle. The present is directly behind Callum and he hasn’t even thought about turning around. “Close.” Ben admits, and picks the present up to hand to Callum, shiny red wrapping paper all around it.
Callum furrows his eyebrows as he looks at it, all large and square.
“Go on then.” Ben says, nodding towards it.
Callum doesn’t need to be told twice, and so he starts to rip at the wrapping paper bit by bit, exposing the present. When all the paper is on the floor, he finally realises what it is. Ben caught him looking at it, the last time they went shopping together. “You got me it?” Callum asks, looking at Ben with bright, watery eyes. It’s a record storage box, all leather and cream and perfect. It’s the perfect accompaniment to the record player of the same colour.
“Course I did.” Ben grins. “I saw how much you wanted it in the shop. And to be honest babe, it’s doing me a favour, getting rid of that manky cardboard box.”
Callum lets out a giggle - and actual giggle - because Ben’s right, this is so much better than the very old and very broken cardboard box. He opens it up, and notices that there’s slots for each individual record. “I love it.” Callum says, leaning closer to Ben and pressing a soft peck to Ben’s cheek. “Thank you.”
eight
It’s a freezing morning, the air just unrelentingly icy cold. Even with the windows shut and the heating on, Callum can still tell just how cold it actually is. It’s the perfect day to have nothing to do, and that’s exactly what his plans are. He’s wearing comfortable clothes, a pair of joggers and a hoodie to match, with his blanket slumping against the sofa, ready to wrap around him as a way of adding some more warmth to his body. The pan of milk boils steadily, the bubbles of pure white indicating that it’s ready. He lifts it up carefully, and pours the boiling milk into his powder of hot chocolate, watching as the pale brown turns to a dark sludge, until it finally looks perfect when he starts to stir his spoon around and around in circles, creating a mini tsunami in his new mug. If it was anytime but the morning, the cream and mini marshmallows in the fridge would be the perfect accompaniment, but he can’t get too hyper too early in the day, even if he does have the perfect excuse of it being Christmas.
Callum walks over to the sofa, and carefully places his hot chocolate on a coaster on the coffee table in front of him. Nothing seems amiss, apart from one little thing. There’s a box on the table too, with rainbow wrapping paper enveloping it. It’s right next to the hot chocolate, directly in front of Callum. He smiles softly, because he just knows that this is his next gift. It hadn’t been there before, so it must have been put down there when he wasn’t looking. “Ben?” He calls out, sinking into the back of the sofa, craning his head to try and look into their bedroom. “Is this my next present?”
There’s a pause for a moment, and then Ben finally arrives in the doorframe of their bedroom. He’s just hooking his shirt over his head, and Callum’s grateful for a sneak peek of Ben’s bare chest. There’s a smile on his face when Callum can finally see it, a soft blush creeping onto his cheeks. “It is.” Ben admits, and he turns his body for a moment, looking down at the floor. When he starts to walk, Callum realises he’s put his slippers on.
Ben walks over to Callum, joining him on the sofa as he sinks down next to him, picking his feet up to rest them on top of the coffee table. He picks up the remote control and places it down on his lap, before picking up their fluffy blanket and putting it around his legs. Callum watches his every move as if his life depends on it. Ben knows this, without even having to look up at his boyfriend, because he can feel Callum’s eyes on him, as though they’re burning into his body. A smirk grows across his lips, and when he eventually settles down from moving constantly, prolonging the anticipation for Callum, he looks up at his boyfriend.
Callum speaks again then, as he refrains from rolling his eyes as Ben’s childish antics. “Can I open it?” He asks, and he’s actually somewhat shy in his words.
Ben nods his head and the nerves start to kick in then, though he tries his hardest to hide how he feels. He shoves his trembling hands underneath the blanket, blaming the cold on how much they’re shaking. Absentmindedly, he bites at his bottom lip and feels the top layer of skin peeling off underneath his harsh touch, until he remembers how Callum once told Ben that he can always tell when Ben’s nervous about something, because he starts to bite his lip as a distraction tactic. Ben knows why he’s nervous - because of what this present hopefully leads to - he just never thought he would be this nervous.
There’s a tear of wrapping paper, that now familiar sound, and it interrupts Ben’s daydream, bringing him right back down to earth. The tearing continues, until finally, Callum takes the white box out of the wrapping paper, brushing the paper off of him, onto the floor for him to deal with later. It’s a white box, long in size, rather than large.
“Are you sure you haven’t given me one of Lexi’s old shoe boxes here?” Callum turns to face Ben, chuckling to himself.
Ben paints on a smile, though it’s not his usual bright one because of the anxiety coursing through him. “It probably is.” He admits. It definitely looks like it could be. “I just found it when i was trying to find an empty box I could use.”
Callum looks down at the box in his lap, and reads the words on the lid, written in black marker in Ben’s neatest handwriting. ‘Open when…’ Callum furrows his eyebrows, confusion taking over his face. He remains silent though, unquestioning. He takes the lid off, opening up the box, and inside, there’s multiple envelopes, all different colours and shades, looking like an avant garde rainbow. He places the lid of the box down next to him, and Ben picks it up without a second thought, more than likely needing to hold onto something as a distraction. Callum takes a couple of envelopes out, one by one, and looks at the front of them. Ben’s handwriting is a common theme, but now in some of Lexi’s felt tip pens, rather than the thick black marker.
Open when you’re feeling sad.
Callum looks at Ben and smiles softly. He reaches out and takes Ben’s hand in his own, squeezing it tightly. It’s scary sometimes, how much Ben knows and understands Callum.
Open when you’re mad at me.
A breathy chuckle falls from Callum’s mouth, and Ben joins in, letting his head fall onto Callum’s shoulder, resting his forehead there as he shuts his eyes for a moment as he tries to collect his thoughts. “You might need to use that a few times.” Ben teases.
Callum snakes an arm around Ben’s waist, holding his body close to him. “I could never be mad at you, not really.” He admits, letting the tips of his fingers run over Ben’s side.
Ben moves his forehead off of Callum’s shoulder, and presses a warm kiss to it instead. “I’ll remind you of that.”
Callum picks up another envelope, and reads out the front of it. “Open when it’s Christmas Day.” He says, tilting the paper to show to Ben. “Intriguing. What happens if I open it before then?”
“Then you won’t be getting your main present.” Ben confirms, and though his voice is teasing, he’s deadly serious, and Callum knows it.
Callum lets out a chuckle, and puts the box onto the coffee table, before moving back next to Ben. “Thank you though.” He says, and he rests his arms on Ben’s shoulders, hooking them around so they’re face to face. “You can be soft sometimes, can’t you?” Callum leans in for a kiss, and he’s just millimetres away when Ben recoils slightly, running his eyes over Callum’s face.
“Don’t go telling anyone though.” Ben says, and a smirk creeps onto his lips. “I’ve got an image to maintain.”
Callum rolls his eyes, but it’s long forgotten when Ben finally, finally presses his lips to Callum’s.
nine
It’s a calming evening, the bedroom warm and inviting, even though there’s a downpour of rain outside, the pitter patter of rain rhythmically beating against the window, trying to disrupt the peace and quiet.
They’re both in bed, tired eyes still trying to stay awake for as long as possible, knowing that the earlier they fall asleep, the earlier they would wake up the next day.
Ben’s on his side, holding himself up with one hand, pressing his elbow into the mattress. He’s on his phone, scrolling through social media aimlessly. There’s nothing really else to do. Nothing on the television interests him enough to require watching it there and then. He wouldn’t want to watch television anyway, because he’s more than content staying in bed with Callum by his side, and watching television would mean leaving Callum alone.
The elder man is sitting upright, and he can feel Ben’s warmth against him, their bodies dangerously close together. Callum’s reading a book. It’s a new thing for him, starting in the summer. It’s calming for him, a kind of escapism, to leave his own life and travel in a new world alongside the protagonist and all the other characters. Ben was his usual self about it at first, teasing Callum about reading a book at night, but there was no genuine malice behind it - there never has been. Secretly, Ben loves it too. He loves when Callum talks to him about all the characters and the stories, even though Ben has no idea what’s really going on. It’s just genuinely nice to see Callum excited about something. Plus, it’s been helping to inspire Lexi to read books too.
Callum’s about three-quarters of the way through the book, and Ben can tell by the way his eyes are starting to fall shut and flicker, he’s almost ready to sleep.
Ben locks his phone, and puts it down gently on the mattress, trying to not make any sudden movements so as to not disturb Callum. Instead, he just watches him. He watches as Callum holds onto the top corner of the page before he flicks it over, letting his thumb hold it down as he reads the next page. Ben notices how Callum mouths certain words, his mouth opening slightly before shutting again. He notices that the bedsheets which were once resting high up on Callum’s chest have now fallen down, exposing the bare skin of his pecs. A soft smile rises on Ben’s lips, lazy and tired but Callum is just so distracting. There’s a gentle pink blush on Callum’s cheeks, all blotchy and yet perfect. The light from the lamp to the side of him illuminates him beautifully, casting somewhat of a silhouette over the outlines of his face. Ben can’t believe his luck, that he gets to see Callum like this every night. It’s everything. Ben can’t stop looking at his skin, and how warm and inviting it looks, and he’s just about to move forward to press his lips to any part of Callum’s skin he can reach - when Callum moves abruptly.
There’s a soft scratch against the cotton bedsheets and a quiet moan from Callum’s lips when he feels a bone crack under his movement. He pats down on the quilt, clearly looking for something. He starts off closer to his body, and then in the small gap between his body and Ben’s, and then further down the bed, though he’s certain it can’t have gone that far. He lifts the quilt up next, and looks into the dark shadow that he can just about see into, and sees that nothing is there.
Ben chuckles softly, because he’s seen Callum do this so many times now that it’s well on the way to becoming a nightly ritual. Callum’s incredibly forgetful sometimes. “Have you lost your bookmark again?” Ben teases, his voice light.
Callum turns his head to face Ben, the blush on his cheeks now getting deeper and brighter as the seconds tick by. He lets out a sarcastic laugh, narrowing his eyes at Ben for a moment before his face returns back to normal, when he finally admits it. “Yeah.”
Bookmarks are the bane of Ben’s life. Callum refuses to fold the pages of his book, and looks at Ben with so much offense and disgust every time he so much as breathes to suggest it. He loses them so often, and then replaces them with another cheap one before he finds the original. He seems to misplace so many things, unless it’s expensive or has sentimental value. Then, he’s careful.
Ben chuckles and there’s a grin on his face. He leans over to his bedside chest of drawers, and picks something out. When he turns back around, Callum is watching him in confusion and anticipation. “Close your eyes.” Ben instructs.
“What?” Callum asks, a laugh bubbling out of his mouth.
“Close your eyes.” Ben repeats, and looks at Callum, waiting and waiting until he finally concedes and shuts his eyes.
Ben sits back upright, shifting ever closer to Callum, until he’s sure Callum can feel their bodies touching, he can feel Ben’s breath hitting his skin. He puts his hand in Callum’s temporarily, turning it around so his palm is facing upwards before he lets go, unlinking their fingers, losing the warmth or Callum’s hand in his own. He holds onto it for a moment though, silently indicating to Callum for him to keep his hand like that, and then Ben finally lets go. He puts the present down into Callum’s hand gently, and waits for Callum to speak.
“Can I open my eyes yet?” Callum asks, tilting his head to the side, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. It’s almost childlike, something that Lexi would do, and for that reason, it warms Ben’s heart.
“Yeah.” Ben breathes out, and he watches as Callum opens his eyes and looks down at his hand.
He’s holding a leather bookmark, with frilly parts at the top of it. It’s black and smooth, and embossed in gold at the bottom is Callum.
“I didn’t get the chance to wrap it up.” Ben admits, explaining the lack of wrapping paper covering it. “Don’t go losing that one though, it was bloody expensive!”
“I won’t.” Callum says, putting the bookmark in place in his book, letting his thumb run over the gold of it before he shuts his book and puts it on his bedside table. “I promise.”
He rolls back onto his side, facing Ben, and holds his face in his hand, stroking Ben’s facial hair softly. “Thank you.” He whispers, leaning in to press a soft kiss to Ben’s lips. “For everything.”
ten
Different aromas fill the building, coming from the pots and pans on top of the stove. Ben’s standing in front of the oven, stirring a sauce around and around in circles, watching as the bubbles rise, growing larger and larger only to subsequently pop. Music is playing from the television, red and green and a bright snowy white beaming against the wall opposite, changing and flickering as the Christmas music videos continue. It’s a nice evening, a calm one. Ben’s wearing his pyjama trousers, blue and checks all over. On his top half, is the matching shirt, a navy blue plain t shirt, the hems of the sleeves curling over his biceps. It’s been getting colder and colder as the winter progresses, especially in the evening and at night, so he’s wearing a jacket to keep him warm. But it’s not his jacket. At least, it wasn’t his jacket originally. It’s Callum’s. Grey in colour and long, sitting below Ben’s hips and the sleeves stretching out over the palms of his hands. He’s well aware it doesn’t fit him properly, not as it does Callum - but he doesn’t care. It’s become somewhat of a comfort blanket as of late, being able to wear Callum’s hoodie, the faint scent of his aftershave still very prominent, to Ben’s nose at least.
The sauce continues to bubble and boil as Ben remains stirring it, almost in a trance now. His mind is going around and around in circles, just as the sauce is in the pot. All he can think about is Christmas Day, and how hectic it’s going to be. A Mitchell Christmas usually is, but this year even more so. It feels like the family has grown beyond belief, somehow. It’s an important one too, or, he hopes it will be. He’s got a plan, a perfect plan, and if something goes wrong, it could all fall to pieces. It’s stressful, and for some unknown reason, he misses how Christmas was when he was a child, though he never really had much of one. He envies his daughter, and how her Christmas is going to be full of joy and happiness and presents and food, whilst his right now is just stress upon stress - though he’s beyond grateful to be able to make Christmas so happy for her, when it was never really a happy time for him at that age. It’s completely distracting him from reality, so much so that he doesn’t hear the door creaking open and then closing to a shut behind him.
Callum quietly toes off his shoes, putting then near - not on - the shoe rack. He slips out of his coat, and gently places it on the coat rack, covering up one of Ben’s many jackets that have started to overflow. A smile creeps onto his face when he notices what Ben’s wearing, the lamps illuminating the living room just creeping into the kitchen, lighting up Ben’s body. He moves forward, one, two, three steps and then finally talks, breaking the almost deafening silence between them. “So that’s where it’s gone.” He says, his teasing voice adding to the growing smile on his face.
Ben visibly jumps, turning his body around to face Callum, recognising his voice instantly. His heart beats faster than before, and he’s not certain it’s entirely because of the shock, because Callum’s wearing a suit and he’s rolling the sleeves of his shirt up his forearms. Ben tries to calm himself down, and does so by raising one eyebrow questioningly. He turns back around, and puts the flame down on the stove, only a small, thin flicker of an orange flame remaining now. “Where what’s gone?” He asks.
Callum grins, and steps ever closer to Ben. He wraps his arms around Ben’s body, pressing his front to Ben’s back. His hands hold onto the material of the jacket, and tilts his head down to press a warm, inviting kiss to Ben’s shoulder, and then rests his chin there too. Callum tugs at the material, making sure Ben understands. “This.” He explains. “I was looking for it in the wardrobe the other day but I couldn’t find it anywhere.”
A soft laugh falls from Ben’s lips. He’s been hiding in his own chest of drawers instead of in their wardrobe for weeks now, just so Callum can’t attempt to try to claim it back. “It’s comfy and it smells exactly like you.” Ben explains.
“Really?” Callum asks, moving his face to press his nose against Ben’s neck. He sniffs dramatically, Ben twisting and turning under his hold to try and escape. “I reckon it smells just like you now.”
“Give over!” Ben giggles, pulling away from Callum until he loosens his hold on Ben. “You’re freezing.”
Callum chuckles throatily and soothes down the grey material of the jacket. “You suit it. Plus, I think it’s cute you want to wear my clothes.” Callum admits, a blush rising on his cheeks at his words. He’ll never get over being able to compliment Ben so openly. Ben turns to face Callum, and the older man takes his opportunity then, moving in to leave a searing yet soft kiss to Ben’s lips. “Looks like I’ll have to buy myself a new one then, if you’re claiming that one as your own.”
Ben’s eyes flicker over to the Christmas tree in the corner of the room, the colourful fairy lights illuminating the busy branches, baubles and chocolates and candy canes aplenty hanging off of them. “Actually…” He drawls out, and makes his way out of Callum’s embrace. He walks over to the tree, and quickly looks through all the presents beneath it, all with tags on to say who they’re for. He finds it easy enough, because he’s not long since put the wrapping paper around it. He picks up the present, and walks back over to his original position, handing it over to Callum. “This one.” He says.
Callum rips open the wrapping paper, exposing the present instantly. He takes it out of the paper and holds it aloft. In his hands is a new jacket, the exact same as the one on Ben’s body. Except this one is brand new and without any staining on the sleeves, or any holes from wear and tear. He puts it down and Ben finally sees the smile on his face. “Thank you.” Callum grins, pressing a gentle kiss of gratitude to Ben’s lips, before folding the jacket up.
“That one’s just for you.” Ben confirms. “I promise.”
eleven
The thing with Ben giving Callum presents pretty much every other day is, it’s a routine now. Callum knows when to expect one, so the surprise element of getting one is beginning to fade away, even with so little left to go. At least he never knows what he’s getting, so that much is still a surprise to Callum.
It’s now night, and the moon is hanging high in the sky, the bottom of the crescent only just visible in the bedroom window. Callum draws the curtains to a close, but he’s on a mission. Ben still hasn’t given him his next present, and has spent much of the day trying to convince Callum that there’s no more presents now until Christmas Day. It seems plausible, given how close it is to the day, but then Callum sees Ben’s face and he knows Ben that well now, he knows exactly when he’s lying. He always has a guilty expression on his face, as well as the inability to look Callum in the eyes. Which is exactly the sort of thing that has been happening all day.
Ben walks into the bedroom, joining Callum and lets out a loud laugh when he sees Callum looking all around the room with a pout on his lips. “Who said you’re getting a present today?” He chuckles, sitting down on his side of the bed, hooking one foot under his thigh.
Callum moves over to Ben, standing in front of him now. He runs his fingers through Ben’s hair, making Ben instinctively look up at him without even trying. It’s unbelievably cute, the way Ben is so responsive to Callum’s touch. “Come on, I know you.” Callum practically whines, moving his hand from threading through Ben’s hair, letting it now rest on his cheek, feeling the increasingly warm skin underneath his touch. “I can see in your eyes when you’re lying. I know what you’re thinking. I know you, Ben Mitchell.”
Ben grins wildly, and tilts his head to the side, watching Callum intensely. “Really?” He quizzes, cocking one of his eyebrows. “Go on then, Mystic Meg. What am I thinking about, right this second?”
Callum leans down slightly, getting closer and closer to Ben’s face. He looks directly into Ben’s eyes deeply, admiring the dark blue swirls mixing in with the light blue, with flecks of what looks like gold adding to the perfection of the colour. He keeps watching and looking and staring and it all gets too much for Ben, the intensity of Callum’s eyes on him. He looks away for just a millisecond, eyes flickering down to Callum’s lips. It’s only a millisecond, but Callum catches it. He pulls away, releasing Ben from the intense, surreal moment, and speaks. “How much you want to kiss me.”
It takes a moment for Callum’s words to make sense in Ben’s head, having them swirl around and around like he’s never even heard of them before, until finally he realises. He raises both eyebrows and smiles softly. There’s a blush on his face and he tries his hardest to dull it down, though it’s proving an impossible task. Ben being embarrassed of his blush is somewhat endearing to Callum. “Impressive.” Ben lets out, like a breath he’s been waiting to release.
“So what’s my present then?” Callum asks teasingly.
“Glad you asked actually.” Ben grins and he stands up, gaining more height on Callum, though there’s still a considerable height difference between the two of them. “Close your eyes a sec.”
Callum rolls his eyes at first, but does as Ben tells him to. There’s a gentle smile on his face, all warm and soft and Ben’s so lucky that he gets to see Callum like this.
Ben reaches until his bedside drawer and pulls out the present - a piece of mistletoe. He holds it above them. A soft chuckle falls from his lips at the ridiculousness of the situation. He’s standing on the tip of his toes, holding mistletoe directly above him and his boyfriend, standing in their bedroom as it edges closer and closer to midnight. It’s moments away from being Christmas Eve, and he’s doing this. It is well and truly ridiculous. “You can open your eyes now.”
Callum’s smile grows at Ben’s voice, and he opens his eyes, excitement evident, written all over his face. “Where is it?” He asks, not understanding what’s going on. All he can see is Ben standing on the tips of his toes, their faces close together.
There’s a pause for a moment, and Ben’s eyes flicker up to the greenery above them and then back down to Callum.
Callum’s eyes follow Ben’s and then he notices what Ben’s holding up above their heads. There’s another roll of the eyes from Callum, though the smile never once threatens to fade - instead, it only grows stronger and wider, turning into a grin. “I should’ve known.” He says, trying his best to put some faux disappointment into his voice, but he fails miserably.
“Does that mean you don’t want to accept?” Ben teases, and makes an attempt to put his arm down and put the mistletoe back.
“Don’t you dare.” Callum says, and he grabs hold of Ben’s arm, not harshly at all, but with just enough pressure to stop Ben from moving.
A low chuckle escapes Ben’s lips and his hand remains above them. Callum licks at his lips, his tongue just peeking out of his mouth, and then seconds pass, but for some weird reason it feels like it’s a lot longer - as though minutes pass, in theory. Callum leans forward, hooking an arm around Ben’s back, holding them together. Their lips finally touch whilst Callum’s hold on Ben’s arm loosens, and Ben relents, letting the mistletoe fall to the ground. A giggle and a moan later, Callum gently pushes Ben onto the mattress and straddles him. It’s an electrifying touch, just as perfect and pure as their first. When they eventually pull apart to breathe, Ben leans down and picks up the mistletoe from the floor.
“I might keep that.” He says. “Just in case I see anyone fit in the Vic tomorrow.”
Callum narrows his eyes and tries to grab at the mistletoe, but Ben pulls it away from Callum’s initial reach. Callum’s face is close to Ben’s again now, and he leans down into a soft peck of a kiss. “On second thoughts.” He starts, before he falls into the next kiss. “I don’t think we need to go to the pub tomorrow, we’ve got beer in.”
twelve
It’s officially Christmas morning, the brightness of the deep blue sky creeping in through the cracks in the curtain where they’ve sloppily been shut. It’s early, stupidly early, but Ben doesn’t mind one bit. He’s perfectly content to stay there, his eyes stinging slightly because he’s only just put his glasses on. He’s grateful to have this time to himself, to allow him to just breathe, ready for the busiest day. The time on the alarm clock reads just after half seven, and he knows by now that Lexi will be about to wake up and everyone will have to keep her away from her presents for at least another hour. He rolls over onto his side with a slow, lazy smile on his face and watches as Callum drinks in the last of his sleep. There’s a gentle pink flush of his cheeks, and his lips part slightly, a faint whistling snore falling out of his mouth. His hair falls down to his eyebrows, some strands even longer and brushing against his eyelashes. Ben runs his index finger along the bottom of Callum’s hair, brushing it backwards so Ben can see more of his face. Callum twitches slightly, moving his hand under his pillow before resting again. Ben chuckles softly, knowing that Callum needs to wake up soon. He leans forward and presses one singular searing kiss to Callum’s forehead before he pulls back to look at Callum again, watching as his eyebrows furrow in his sleep, creating wrinkles on his forehead before he relaxes again. Ben moves once more, this time leaving a kiss to Callum’s cheek time and time again. He’s got a giddy childishness about Christmas Day for the first time in years - possibly ever, really.
A grin grows on Callum’s face, wide and warm and perfect. Ben can feel it grow underneath his touch and he grins too, pulling his face away to see Callum.
Callum, on the other hand, clearly doesn’t want Ben away from his body, so he quickly wraps his arm around Ben and pulls them closer together again. Ben chuckles and links their legs together, Ben’s leg threading between Callum’s thighs. Callum’s fingers trace patterns of all kinds on Ben’s back, warming him up and leaving an unrelenting tingling sensation wherever he traces. “Merry Christmas baby.” Callum whispers, his voice warm and inviting.
A soft sigh leaves Ben’s mouth, relaxing into Callum’s hold. He rests his hand against Callum’s chest, fingers spread right over his heart, feeling each thump. It makes him smile. “Merry Christmas babe.”
There’s a pause for a moment, peacefulness just cascading over them. A nippy cold is in the air, but neither of them seem to mind at all.
“What time is everyone expecting us?” Callum asks, running his fingers through his hair.
Ben chuckles softly, right from his throat. “We’ve probably got an hour. You know what Lexi’s like, she’ll have been up before the sun this morning, demanding to open her presents.”
“An hour?” Callum repeats, cocking an eyebrow as he turns back on his side now, Ben moving instinctively alongside him. Ben nods slightly, though he’s not confident Callum really needs confirmation. “Looks like we have plenty of time for this.” He says, and confusion runs through Ben for a few short seconds before a soft kiss is presented to him, gentle and reassuring and perfect. It’s all warm and fuzzy and inviting and it blows Ben’s mind that Callum still makes him feel this way, even after all this time. He hopes it never fades away. “And this.” Callum grins, leaving a teasing nip at Ben’s bottom lip, letting his hand slip down, his fingers hooking under the elastic of Ben’s boxers.
He knows now, this is it. This is the perfect time.
Ben pulls back from the kiss, his heart shattering to pieces when he sees Callum’s little pout. “Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to open a present now?” He asks, running his thumb over Callum’s lips, trying to tease him out of the pout that sits there.
Callum furrows his eyebrows. “I thought you wanted to wait until everyone’s together to open the presents?” He asks.
It’s true. Ben said that last night, but now is the perfect time. He’s less nervous, with it just being the two of them with no interruptions possible at all. Ben nods. “I do.” He confirms. “It’s just this one present. Please?” Ben watches as Callum’s eyes trace Ben’s face, moving everywhere.
“Go on then.” Callum concedes, but smiles nonetheless, all shy and innocent. He rolls onto his back, pushing his pillows up so he can shift to sit upright.
Ben smiles and takes out an envelope he’s had in his bedside table for the last day or two, grabbing the actual present alongside it, hiding it underneath the bed sheets quickly, so Callum can’t see it. “Here.” He exhales a shaky breath and hands the envelope to Callum with equally as shaky hands.
Callum smiles when he recognises it as one of the letters from his box - the one that reads: Open when it’s Christmas morning on the envelope in Ben’s recognisable handwriting. He runs his thumb over the writing, and turns to face Ben, who’s looking increasingly nervous, with redness creeping onto his skin, from his neck to his cheeks. He opens up the envelope, the first one from his box that he’s had the pleasure of opening, and takes the letter out, putting the envelope down on his lap. He reads it all, word after written word, flowing perfectly.
Dear Callum,
Sometimes I try and put into words how much you mean to me, but it’s impossible. You mean the world to me, but also so much more. You make me so happy, every single day. Even when I don’t want to smile, you make me smile without even thinking about it.
I got so lucky when we met. I didn’t think I would ever be happy again, or in love, but you’ve allowed me to feel all of that and more. You changed me, for the better, and I never thought anyone would be able to do that.
I love you, so much, and I get to feel that love back every single day and for that I’m so grateful. It’s funny really, how I once thought I would never be able to feel love again, but now I want this for the rest of my life.
Forever yours, Ben x
Ps - look at me
Tears are already welling up in Callum’s eyes as he reads the words, slowly taking them all in one by one. He folds the paper back up and silently turns to face Ben.
Ben, who’s also got tears in his eyes.
Ben, who’s blush remains strong on his cheeks.
Ben, who’s holding a small, velvet box in his hands.
Callum looks down at it and his mouth falls open in shock, before he looks back up at him. “Ben.” He breathes out, shock in his voice. This is happening.
Ben clicks open the box and sitting inside, cushioned in a red material is a simple silver band, gleaming in the now appearing sunlight, right at Callum. “Will you marry me?”
“You’re serious ain’t you?” Callum asks, a tear falling down from his eye and streaming down his cheek, reaching his chin. Ben nods, a smile growing on his face as he holds his hand out to wipe Callum’s cheek free of the tear tracks. “Of course I will. Always.”
Ben grins and leans forward, pressing his lips to Callum’s, holding them both in time as place as they move together. When they eventually pull apart, Ben holds onto Callum’s hand, and pushes the ring onto his finger. “We’re actually getting married!” Ben says, a beaming smile on his face.
They eventually make it over to the Mitchell’s house, just over an hour later, a large sack of presents between them. Christmas music plays over a speaker, and alcohol is already flowing, even at breakfast time. There’s laughter and shouting and it all seems so familiar, just like a typical Christmas morning. The door slams shut behind them and they make their way into the living room, Ben putting the presents down on the floor with everyone else’s. Lexi runs over to them and hugs Ben first, giddy that she can now start to open up all her presents, all the one’s she’s been eyeing up since she first saw them. When she pulls away from Ben’s hug, she runs over to Callum and hugs him too, and then grabs at his hand. “You two have to sit here!” She says. “All your presents have been left here. Did you not get any at your home? I’ve been waiting all morning!” She’s a proper little chatterbox, especially on such an exciting day. And then she notices. Whilst everyone else is distracted and chatting amongst themselves, she sees it. “Callum! Are you going to be my daddy?”
Silence slowly falls over everyone as they turn to look at Ben and Callum.
“Surprise?” Ben jokes, trying to break the silence. “I asked him this morning. He said yeah. We’re getting married. Lex, you can call him whatever you want.”
There’s another silence for just a few seconds as everyone processes Ben’s words. The silence is only a few seconds long, but it's an agonising wait, even if both Ben and Callum know that everyone would accept it and be happy for them.
Then finally, there’s a cheer.
Kathy’s sitting there, bucks fizz in one hand, and her other hand over her mouth in shock, though her eyes are wide and tears are threatening to fall from them already. She hugs them both silently, bundling them into one long hug, actions speaking louder than words, but she was only silent because of the fear of bursting into tears at her youngest son growing up.
Jay walks over to them and wraps them both up into warm, welcoming embraces. “Yes bro.” He whispers into Ben’s ear, his hand falling down Ben’s back. He turns to Callum and hugs him too. Ben can just about hear Jay saying “Welcome to the family mate.” to Callum and it warms his heart. That’s what he is. Family.
Lola’s just as giddy as Lexi, giving them both a kiss on their foreheads, bright beaming smile. “Finally!” She says teasingly. “Me and Lex said it would happen this year, didn’t we?” Lexi jumps up and nods, skipping over to sit on her mum’s lap.
Last, it was Phil’s turn. He repeats Jay’s sentiment, even without hearing them. He shakes Callum’s hand and pats him on the shoulder, eventually welcoming him into the family with somewhat of a smile growing on his face.
Everyone was merry, and spent the remainder of the day opening presents and being giddy and starting the initial planning of the wedding, teasing Ben and Callum with fake speeches and ideas of wedding songs.
It’s the best Christmas Ben and Callum have ever had.
welcome back to the ballum place!!! we’re back with another event for everyone to get stuck in to - and this time it’s, of course, a christmas one!!!!
the ballum advent calendar will take place from the 1st through to the 24th of december. the aim is to have a different person post one (or more if we have the numbers) to post a piece of ballum fanwork on each dat of the lead up to christmas. we could all do with a little extra love and joy this year; and what better way to do that than combining everyone’s two favourite things ✨
to participate in the advent calandar, please follow this simple steps:
step one:
fill out this form by november 13th (friday) (spooky)
step two:
we will get back to you as soon as possible (by the 18th at the latest) with your assigned posting date. once you’ve received your date, please confirm with us that you’re happy with that particular date. if not let us know and we can move it around for you!
step three:
work on your piece!!! you can create anything you like, as long as it’s ballum related - fics, gif sets, edits, playlists, quizzes ... etc. please don’t feel as though your piece has to be christmas related, of course it would be nice, but it’s not a requirement at all.
step four:
posting day! we will be in contact with you in the days before your posting date, just to check everything is okay and on track. when the day comes, all you need to do is post your work as you usually would and tag it with ballumac2020 and theballumplace. it’s important that they’re in your first five tags, in order for us find the post and reblog it.
This was supposed to be their best Christmas. Callum had well and truly fucked up, big time. He wished that the thought of ever joining the police never crossed him. Because look where he is now. He saved the one he loves from a prison sentence, but now there was not much to show for it as he sat in the box room of his old flat that he shared with his brother Stuart and new wife Rainie.
He was back to where it all began. Back in the same place where he put on a front to try and be happy in what would have been a long suffering life with Whitney, even though she was the most beautiful girl in his eyes. But that life wasn’t for him.
Callum’s life was supposed to be with Ben and his eyes started to glass over with wet tears as he delicately held a shimmering label, that is a deep shade of red and had an image of a snowman, between his fingers. Sucking in a breath, he turned the label round and felt his breath being held back from his with a choke as the words on the label bravely spoke: To Ben, Merry Christmas! All my love always, Callum xxx
Callum swallowed down the lump in his throat and scrunched his eyes shut as fresh tears came seeping out. He covered his mouth with the back of his hand as he choked out a sob. This was not how it was supposed to be. Last year was a shitty Christmas followed by a pretty shitty year but at least they had each other. But now, Callum is lonely again. This Christmas was supposed to be special, laying presents under the tree, snuggling up on the sofa watching classic Christmas films in which Ben claims that every Christmas film seems to have the same sort of plot outline everytime. But all of that was the magic of Christmas, but most of all it was celebrating the magic of them and that they were together and happy.
But not anymore.
Keep Reading
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Here’s Day 13 of the Ballum Advent Calendar!☃️❄️ I am so so so sorry for the delay in getting this posted. Things have just been mental this week and I wanted this fic to be perfect. I know this fic seems angsty but I promise that the second half is full of Christmassy fluff!🥰
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
🎄🎄 happy 2nd day of the advent calendar, everyone! 🎄🎄
this is definitely the cheesiest thing i’ve ever written so enjoy.
Rating: Teen and up
Words: 3.140
Some Tags: Childhood best friends to lovers / alternate universe / Christmas / so much fluff oh my
Summary: They haven’t seen each other in close to fifteen years now. In fact, the last time they had seen each other in person was through the rear window of Callum’s dad’s car when they had moved away from Walford after his big brother went to prison. They had tried to keep in touch through email and letters after that but just how it always is with these kinds of long distance friendships, they had eventually lost touch with each other.
It doesn’t mean that Ben hasn’t spent the last thirteen years thinking about Callum again and again. He definitely has.
