an extra long post because i have been on a bamf!q binge
1. the guardian of progress by thestalwartheart (@thestalwartheart)
Bond runs his hand over the lock of the gun case. “It’s the best thing they’ve done in decades, making you Quartermaster of this place.”
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A re-imagining of SPECTRE in which Q comes up against the perils of Smart Blood and the workplace politics of being the youngest Quartermaster in history.
~~~
honestly q being a fantastic quartermaster is just mwah. the way he takes on responsibility and looks out for his agents and doesn’t crumble no matter what just makes me feel so much respect and admiration i cannot
2. We're the Smoke Where There's Fire by Only_1_Truth
Q's world gets turned upside-down when MI6 decides that they want to recruit him. As a uniquely powerful magic-user, Q can usually handle himself very well, but will he stand a chance when it's just him against multiple highly-trained MI6 agents tasked to bring him in?
All Q knows is that this is going to end in flames - and that's before another stranger gets thrown into the equation.
~~~
i have no idea how i managed to go this long without reccing this author’s bamf!q fics but ngl each and every au they have features bamf!00q and i am here for it ++ superpowers??? yes???
3. Noster nostri by Only_1_Truth
What if Q didn’t run away - what if he was disowned?
What if Q had time to learn glyphs - and applied them to something else?
What if instead of becoming a hooker, Q became a Summoner?
(Set in the same AU as Part 1 of this series, "The Magic of Christmas," this story follows the same world-logic - but can be read as a stand-alone.)
~~~
q being a bamf magic man is such a guilty pleasure of mine + demon!bond is chef’s kiss
4. Sleep When We're Dead by Only_1_Truth
Bond has been kidnapped and tortured before, but this is the first time he's been with Q, and they've both taken the fall when a mission went wrong. Caught with no hope of rescue in sight, Bond realizes how terrifying it can be when villains go for the weakest link... and that weakest link isn't you.
~~~
q withstanding torture like a tough cookie is such a yes and bond beating ppl up for hurting q is also such a yes
5. Blue-Eyed Monster by Only_1_Truth
Yes, this version of 007 was a terrifyingly smart agent, and M wondered long and often whether it had been a good idea to promote him to the position. Usually, the title was the dangerous part - being 007 meant deadliness - but this time, M feared that a certain man with ice-blue eyes and scruffy blonde hair had dragged in more danger to the title than it had previously possessed
Enter MI6's new Quartermaster: an unassuming, bespectacled genius with no mind for subterfuge but plenty of genius behind a dry smile. Curious 00-agents and young boffins don't always mix in predictable ways...
~~~
q holding his own against bond!1!1!1!!1!
6. this madness of miracles (escaping the burning wait) by Rosslyn
“Oh shut up,” Q snaps, irate. “Don’t doubt me. I can think of forty-seven ways to fix this, just off the top of my head. Get off the island.”
So I got a wonderful anon today telling me this is their favourite Lily Rescues James fic, it’s part of my canon marauders fic We Can Be Heroes. But, because it works as a stand alone, I’ll be posting it in 4 parts here. I hope you enjoy it (Lily is very BAMF here but tbh so is James). Set during First Wizarding War...
James slammed the palms of his hands down on Dumbledore’s desk.
“What the fuck were you thinking?” he said, his eyes a hot mess of emotions.
“Get your oafish hands off my desk, now!” Lily said, recovering from the initial shock almost immediately with a flash of anger.
“Your desk?” James said, taking his hands off the desk, nevertheless.
“I’m using it now, yes, I need to get these mission forms finished and signed before bringing them for filing in the Room of Requirement,” Lily said, looking back at James angrily. “What the hell is your problem, Potter?”
“My problem?” James was furious. “I’ll tell you what my problem is, Evans. My problem is that my bloody wife thought it sensible to visit Walburga Black, the same woman who thinks nothing of throwing a Crucio at her children, whose husband tried to kill Sirius, who detests muggleborns, who tried to – oh fucking hell, Lily! What the absolute, ever-living fuck possessed you?”
She had never seen him so angry. She folded her arms defensively and glared back, wondering how he had found out.
“I’ll tell you exactly what possessed me, Potter,” she said coldly. “My problem is my dickhead of a husband who nearly got himself thrown into Azkaban by the Blacks, but then thought it sensible to attend a Black family funeral, and to top it all, decided to call over to chat to Orion’s heir, as you do! Do I need to explain it further? What exactly was I meant to do? Let you read the letter and let you waltz back in there so that bitch could finish you off, once and for all?”
She was standing up now, and he couldn’t quite understand how someone so slender and uncommonly kind could look so intimidating and fierce within the space of a few seconds.
“That letter was addressed to me, damn it!” James said, his voice rising with irritation. “You had no right opening my post!”
“I don’t care!” Lily said, looking more agitated and feeling guilty. “If you think I would have let you just go there, you’re even more stupid than I gave you credit for!”
“You’re a muggleborn, Evans, fucking bloody fucking…” James’ words ran out as he waved his arm about with rage. “You could have been killed, do you understand me? Killed, damn it!”
“Yes, well, so could you, at least I have more sense! Remus and I knew what we were doing!” Lily shot back, feeling angrier by the second.
“You clearly didn’t, Evans! What you did was grossly irresponsible and wilfully sly! I don’t care what you say, you could have been killed, Evans, for fuck’s sake! When I see Moony, I’m going to kill him!”
James made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat and slammed his fist against the wall. Damn it, he was furious and livid and scared out of his wits and fucking sick of this shit.
“Remus didn’t have any choice, I told him I was going, and he decided to come with me, surely a safer bet! Don’t you dare drag Remus into this!” Lily said.
“Don’t you dare, ever, ever go behind my back like that again, ever, do you hear me?” he shouted.
“You can scream all you like, Potter, you don’t get to tell me what to do!” Lily said, her voice rising angrily.
“Don’t you dare act like you’re the innocent one in this Evans, for fuck’s sake!” James said.
“Don’t you dare raise your voice at me, Potter!” Lily said. “Get out!”
Her voice was starting to wobble which made her even madder.
“You know what? Fine!” James said, gripping his wand tightly and watching as furious sparks flew from his wand tip. “If you want to tell yourself that this is my fault, if you want to lie to yourself so you can – ugh! Lily, don’t you dare defend this!”
“I’m not listening to your ranting any longer!” Lily said, slamming the book shut and flinging her quills and parchment into her well-worn bag.
She marched past him, livid and upset and boiling with rage. They hadn’t spoken since. James had slept at his parents’ house for a while and now, with Sirius and Remus gone, James had taken to sleeping in his friends’ bedroom. He didn’t like leaving her with only Wormy for protection. They avoided each other at mealtimes. Peter had cringed and disappeared into the relative safety of his bedroom. There was simply no way he could win if he took sides. They were both still furious.
***
“Looks like you swapped into an easy shift,” said Edgar Bones, loosening his collar and placing his cloak over his arm. “Nothing much happening, no handover.”
“Thanks,” said James curtly.
“Lily, James,” Edgar said, tipping his hat at them, sensing something was amiss but too polite to bring it up in conversation.
“Edgar,” said James.
“Bye, Edgar, see you soon,” Lily said, smiling at him half-heartedly.
“If it stays this quiet, I’m going to try going for a kip,” said Frank Longbottom, looking at the fireplace one last time and throwing a blanket over himself.
James nodded absent-mindedly, his left hand restlessly tapping on his thigh, shooting Lily fleeting glances when he knew she wasn’t watching. He hated whenever they fought, and this had been their worst row ever. The night stayed quiet, Lily dozed off on the armchair and James watched her. He was worried about her too, she looked pale and she seemed off her food for weeks now. It added to the leaden feeling of guilt he was carrying. It was his fault. He was right, he was damned well right, and he had nothing to apologise for, but he probably would. Because he knew what he was getting himself into when he married her, didn’t he? And wouldn’t he have done the exact same thing in her place, he told himself for the umpteenth time? He transfigured his jumper into a warm, thick blanket and placed it over her gently, doubling it up and kissing the top of her head tenderly. He watched the magical fairy lights on the tree twinkling merrily. He couldn’t have felt less Christmassy. He fell asleep eventually, having transfigured the rug into a scratchy blanket.
He was woken up by a loud shout emanating from the fireplace.
“You better get your sorry arses down here immediately! I’ve just intercepted intel that a couple of Death Eaters are planning an attack on a muggle school bus in the vicinity of Newcastleton!” Dedalus Diggle’s voice crackled.
“Where’s that?” said James, his voice still croaky from sleep.
“Border between England and Scotland. Dumbledore has left a special portkey in his room that means you should be able to get anywhere, immediately. Hurry! There’s nobody else around.”
“Great!” grumbled Frank, sitting up reluctantly, but shoving his feet into his shoes without hesitation. “Typical Dumbledore, never around when you need him!”
“Get some water and rations and let’s go,” Lily said, standing up and sitting back down rather suddenly.
“Alright, Evans?” James said, with a concerned frown.
“Fine, just feeling a bit sick, probably need to eat something,” she said.
“Maybe you should stay behind?” James said.
“No!” Lily said, forcing herself to stand. “It’s fine. We can’t risk it. It’s children, James!”
James nodded immediately. He wanted to apologise, but not in front of Frank.
“Dedalus, can you try and contact a few of the others in case anyone is available to join us? We’ll be with you in a jiffy,” he said.
“No can do, I’ve also had word of another attack planned in Wales, I’m trying to get in touch with Moody as we speak!”
“Got it,” said Lily, looking at Frank and James. “Don’t worry, we’re on it!”
***
“This place gives me the creeps,” said James, peering up at the tall trees.
The air felt thick and heavy, the branches seemed to vie with each other to block out the sunlight, suffocating. Thick moss, grey and faded, clung to everything, dried twigs and branches snapped loudly beneath their feet, disturbing the numerous birds whose harsh cries filled the air, as though spying on them, he thought, watching their acrobatic flight.
“Jackdaws,” he said quietly, moving closer to Lily.
Lily gave him a quizzical look.
“That’s their call - a short, loud, ‘kya’ sound, and they have distinctive, beady white eyes,” he added.
“Is there anything you guys don’t know?” grumbled Frank, shooting James a friendly grin.
“Nope,” James grinned back.
He moved closer to Lily, protectively, feeling a threat in the fabric of the forest, ancient memories, secret and forbidding. He had transfigured the portkey into a muggle leather bracelet, insignificant and worthless to any potential Death-Eaters, which he had placed on Lily’s wrist despite her protestations.
“They must be here somewhere,” Frank whispered, holding his wand aloft. “If we just keep walking, we’ll increase the chances of them seeing us.”
“Let’s split up, I’ll hide in there,” Lily said, pointing to a decrepit, large pine, whose gnarly trunk was rotting and held space for one person. “You two get on higher ground. We can all see the road from here. If you spot anything dangerous, send your signal.”
James’ was an owl hooting, Lily’s was the snort of a frightened deer, Frank’s was the harsh screech of a magpie.
“Alright,” James said, turning to look at Lily, feeling awkward and unsure. “Take care, please.”
“You too,” Lily said, her face unreadable.
“I’m glad Alice isn’t on call today,” Frank whispered after a pause, as they moved on carefully. “We just found out she’s pregnant. Bit of a shock really. Took us ages to figure it out, despite her feeling nauseated for a couple of weeks, being off her food, feeling dizzy and tired, you name it!”
He looked excited and pleased.
“Frank!” said James. “Wow, that’s… that’s brave of you, and rather wonderful news.”
He didn’t know what to say.
He stopped short.
Took us ages to figure it out, despite her feeling nauseated for a couple of weeks, being off her food, feeling dizzy and tired, you name it!
The night of Sirius’ twentieth Birthday. They had both forgotten to cast a contraceptive charm. Could that explain…?
“Frank, I forgot something, I need to run back to Lily, go ahead!” James said.
“You okay?” Frank said, seeing James’ face turn grey.
But he was already gone.
***
“Lily!” James said, catching his breath.
“What is it?” Lily said, wand ready to shoot.
“Lily, have you done a pregnancy charm?”
“A what?”
“To see if you’re pregnant?”
“No, why?”
They stared at each other for a moment. Understanding dawned on her.
“James,” said Lily, her green eyes searching his anxiously.
“Let me,” James whispered, taking hold of his wife’s slender wrist and turning her palm upwards, he pointed his wand tip at her pulse point. “Gravidam!”
They both watched as James’ wand tip glowed green.
“Fuck,” he said hoarsely, staring at her.
“What does that mean, James?” Lily said.
“It means… it means you’re pregnant,” James said, running a hand through his hair in agitation. “Fucking bloody fucking…”
Lily’s eyes were wide as his words sank in. As his reaction sank in. She turned away from him and swiped hastily at the tears that fell down her cheeks silently.
“We need to…” James said urgently. “Fucking Merlin… fuck, fuck, fuck!”
“I’m sorry, alright?” Lily’s voice broke as she spoke, her lower lip trembling. “I should have been more careful. I didn’t mean this to happen now, God I really didn’t mean this to… I understand if that’s how you feel, James, but I-“
“What?” James said, turning her around to face him and taking her face in his hands tenderly. “Lily, Merlin, I don’t mean –“
The screech of a magpie rent the air and they both jumped.
“Incarcerous!” numerous voices shouted, as thick ropes coiled themselves swiftly around them, James’ wand dropping to the floor.
“Expelliarmus!” a recognisable voice added, James’ wand flying through the air. “Where’s the other one’s wand?”
“Mulciber,” James said, the blood draining from his face.
“I said, where’s your wand, bitch?” Mulciber said, grabbing Lily by the throat.
“I dropped it earlier on,” Lily rasped, staring back at him defiantly. “I can’t find it.”
“Accio Lily Evans’ wand!” Mulciber ordered, pointing his wand at Lily.
Lily’s wand flew out of the thicket behind them. Mulciber leered at Lily.
“Grab hold of them and set anti-apparition wards around them! And get them to de Soulis Castle, now!” Mulciber said to the other Death-Eaters who surrounded them. “The Dark Lord will be very disappointed to find that it isn’t Sirius Black we have captured, just a useless blood-traitor and a vile mudblood. The information we received must have been incorrect.”
“Shut the fuck up, Mulciber!” James sprang forwards in fury.
“Quiet!” Mulciber said, coming right up in front of Lily and grabbing hold of her Jacket collar. “Or she gets hurt.”
James swallowed.
I tried to laugh about it
Cover it all up with lies
I tried to laugh about it
Hiding the tears in my eyes
'Cause boys don't cry
***
The weathered remains of the castle loomed, malevolent, as they crossed the bridge over the moat. Fragments of a tower emerged, the holes in its walls reminiscent of a skull. While the forest around it was dry and parched, wilting and unseasonably warm, as they neared the castle gates mist descended on them. The inside of the castle felt damp and cold. Much colder. Mulciber’s breath condensed in front of him as he spoke, frost clung to the corners of the walls, there were no windows in the great hall.
He had seen this room before… where?
The heavy double doors leading into the main banqueting hall swung open, and four men entered, none of their faces were masked.
“Villiers, Wilkes, Rosier, Snape,” said Mulciber, with a cold laugh. “Your very closest allies, I believe? I failed to retrieve the disowned Black heir, but I found these.”
Villiers and Wilkes giggled. Silence descended as another figure entered the room, the five men bowing immediately. Muciber pushed James and Lily forcefully and they fell forwards onto their knees. James watched as Voldemort approached slowly, with a gleeful expression. He zoned in on Snape, Snape who was watching Lily with terror on his face, before carefully schooling it into neutral.
The room.
McGonagall’s grim tones echoed in his mind.
“So, a group of Death Eaters, who appear to have captured Lily Evans, in an unidentified location?”
Divination class. His vision. He had forseen this.
“Lily,” he said quietly, speaking through his teeth. “Do you trust me to get us out?”
He was sure Voldemort could hear his heart pounding.
“If you have an idea, I’m all in,” Lily murmured, watching Voldemort as he drew nearer.
“Leave it to me,” he whispered.
Taking a deep breath, he turned and locked eyes with Severus Snape.
“Fuck you, Severus Snape! You absolute bastard! Stay the fuck away from my wife, do you hear? Don’t you dare go near her, you fucking piece of shit! I despise you, Snivellus! You fucking coward! Bastard cursed Death Eater! Stay the fuck away from her or I’ll kill you with my bare hands!” James screamed.
can we have even more bamf!q? that dynamic of others realizing q can and will rain hellfire is my favorite
1. Competing with Solitude by spotlightonmringenue
“Hello. Can you hear me?”
Bond would like to say no, just to distract himself from the lightning currently wrapped around his spine.
“I think you’re dying but I would appreciate it if you didn’t. I’d feel obligated to dig a hole and that’s not really within my body’s capabilities.”
He coughs in response, wet and uneven.
“Oh, a collapsed lung. Thank you for that.”
Perfect, Bond thinks. I’ve been saved by a smartass.
~~~~
i adore q’s sass so much in this fic. this author's dialogue and banter is always so spot on
2. A Second Time by SgtSalt
Bond's an old dog that's outlived his owner. Where else is his loyalty supposed to end up now that M is gone?
~~~
in this house we believe in q and moneypenny supremacy. discuss
3. Parachute by wirewrappedlily
It was all very familiar.
In the old days, he'd brought tyrants to their knees and toppled empires with a single shot--when his shots had been made to find the victim true love.
Eros, the Greek god of true love, oldest of the gods, had been trained as a sniper.
~~~
hello this is so good i adore the premise to bits and the execution is mwah
It's easy. It's simple. They just naturally fit one another.
~~~
q beating up errant double-ohs to protect his branch? yes.
2. Denominations by WriteThroughTheNight
"Q confirms that he's an Empath three months before his first day of primary school, and the deciding of Denominations that comes with it."
OR
Q is smarter than anyone gives him credit for, and an Empath to boot.
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that scene where q takes out 6 people with just the force of his mind is so satisfying.
3. oh mercy, i implore by sleeponrooftops (@sleeponrooftops)
Q wonders, briefly, how James could possibly think this is an appropriate time to profess his undying love—or whatever the hell it is he’s attempting to do; though, frankly, the skeleton suit did make him blink a bit stupidly at his laptop—but then something explodes to his left, and Q heaves a long-suffering sigh and snaps at him for ruining everything good in the world. James laughs and carries on wielding his Walther like it isn’t the 7500th replacement that Q has thrown at him.
~~~
ahhhhhh i adore everyone in this fic. they are all so well-characterised, and q is such a bamf boss.
