HELLO!! We're a group of music enjoyers who got together in november '24 with the goal of preserving and nurturing emo music, art and culture. We wanted to create a space where bands and people in "the scene" can use as an outlet - we want to help give them a voice, spread the word about their projects, and find their next favorite artists! We LOVE post hardcore, metalcore, emoviolence, hardcore, screamo, all that stuff.
What we're trying to do here…
This started when one day, one of us (hi i'm mio) came across an old, dead blog dedicated to this type of music while trying to learn more about a band from the 90s or early 00s. I was moved by the fact that I could still find bits and pieces of information about bands that were playing, and stopped playing shows, before I even had the ability to have memories (I'm 20 at the time of writing this:)). I couldn't think of many similar channels for this new generation of bands. We have social media pages for this, but we wanted a publication that all different kinds of people could enjoy, that features art, news and "opinions", something formal enough but REAL - something a little scrapbook-y — a zine.
Our plans going forward
The internet is clearly not as permanent as we once thought it was. We're losing fuck-tons of media every day, and the thought of losing, not being able to re-discover, share or pass down our favorite music is daunting. We didn't start this to be an archival project, but we hope to help make this content less easy to disappear by branching out into email newsletters and physical forms of media.
Also, we're looking for bands to interview and review, guest writers and photographers who can have their work published on our blog, and even labels and record shops that would like to work together in any way. If you're interested or know someone who might be, please contact us!
We're super excited about this and we've already got a few bands on our roster. Be prepared to see some familiar names!
Last but not least, we're brown, queer, and this is NOT a safe space for racists, homophobes, transphobes, misogynists, zionists, ableists and assholes.
We cant wait to show what we have in store for y'all!!
Lots of love,
aflowerdrops — mio, rania, taro, ricky, and goose. 🖤
"You might as well tell the truth and be unapologetic about what your truth is.": Interview with Frank Iero
Interview by Molly Louise Hudelson.
Last October, Frank Iero released his new record, Parachutes, with his band Frank Iero and the Patience. But- as you’ve undoubtedly heard- the first several months of touring post-release were cancelled following a terrible bus crash while on tour in Australia.
In contrast to Stomachaches, which he recorded in a room “with a drum machine and a computer, just kinda figuring it out”, Parachutes was “very intentional” as a record. While it was released on its planned date in October, having to wait so long to play the songs live was “excruciating.” But maybe things happened for a reason, and when things knocked him down, “that opportunity to grow and get back up is imperative.”
Frank recently wrapped up a long round of touring with a hometown show at White Eagle Hall in Jersey City, with The Homeless Gospel Choir (Derek Zanetti) as support. I sat down with Frank before the show to talk about the making of the record, sharing it with the world, and the comforting realization that he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Read on for the full interview!
CIRCLES & SOUNDWAVES: You did a bunch of touring overseas earlier this year, you had some headlining stuff in the US earlier, then you did the tour with Deftones and Rise Against- and today is the last day of the headlining run. How does it feel to be playing a hometown show?
Frank Iero: It's rad- especially to end it here. It's the end of this run- it's kinda nice to be home to do.
C&S: Was it intentional to end with a hometown show?
FI: You shoot for that, but sometimes it just doesn't work out. It's kinda like a happy accident- it's one of those things that you shoot for but you really don't have much say over it. It's what's available within the mileage. There was definitely gonna be a Jersey show, it was just a matter of when that was going to land.
C&S: I also am from New Jersey and to me, I go to shows in New Jersey and I go to shows in New York. Does playing New York City feel like a hometown show too, or not so much?
FI: Yes and no. Friends will come to New York; my family won't go to New York.
C&S: Really?
FI: Yeah, cuz my family's all from South Jersey, so you say New York and it's like, "Oh, that's real far."
C&S: But- well, Starland Ballroom-
FI: Starland's perfect for them, yeah- they like that.
C&S: You have The Homeless Gospel Choir out on this run- why did you choose to bring Derek out?
FI: Derek's just amazing as a person and as a musician. I love playing to a crowd after he's played. He says everything I want to get across without me having to say it. I don't know how he does it but he embraces the entire room with a huge hug- he's fantastic at that.
C&S: I saw him a year and a half ago opening for Anti Flag and I had no idea who this guy was and then he gets on stage, and I'm almost crying.
FI: It's everything. It's such a good vibe when you walk in to that room after people have seen him. He's so engaging. Plus he's a good friend of mine; it's a good hang. So anytime there's a show, it's like Silent Bob- whenever Jay makes a movie he's like, "All my friends are coming."
C&S: "Of course my friends are gonna be here." Had you toured with Derek before this?
FI: Oh, yeah, yeah- we've [done] quite a few tours- three or four. Anytime there's a show I'm like, "Can Derek come?" That's kinda how it goes.
C&S: Like, "This is an artist that I really enjoy seeing."
FI: Yes.
C&S: So you put out a record about nine months ago, Parachutes; after the bus crash a lot of the initial touring was cancelled. Does the record still feel very new?
FI: It does, it's kinda strange. We didn't get to start touring until four or five months in, and that was crazy. I mean, that's a really, really long time, especially in this industry.
C&S: I had interviewed you right when you put out Stomachaches, and the record came out and the tour started the next week, or something.
FI: Yeah, that's how I usually do it, you know? This was excruciating.
C&S: I can imagine it's tough to feel like, "Okay, I have this thing and it's out and it exists in the world"- but you don't get to share it live in that space with people.
FI: Exactly. And it was very much a record written to be in that environment, you know? But also, I think everything that happened and the time leading up to it allowed the record to really evolve in my head.
C&S: How so?
FI: The things that I wrote about took on this whole other life after the accident. And it was because I wrote a record about things happening for you instead of to you. It was like I had written this letter to myself and it was like, "Don't open until this fucking horrific thing happens to you." It really got me through it and a lot of the things meant so much more. It's strange, yeah, but it was something I was able to work towards and it really forced me to get back up on this horse of playing, because I really didn't think I was ever gonna play. So to do that, it meant so much more, it was crazy. Everything happens for a reason.
C&S: Definitely. And whatever perspective you come from- whether you're someone who believes in astrology or you're religious- you never want to believe "Oh there was a reason, someone intentionally made me go through this shit, or whatever"- but things do come out of it, sometimes you learn things about yourself that you wouldn't have expected to, for better or for worse.
FI: Absolutely. I feel like those things that knock you down- that opportunity to grow and get back up is imperative.
C&S: When you were making Stomachaches, that was a record that was not intentionally going to be a record when you were writing it- this one was.
FI: Yeah. Very intentional.
C&S: So how does that- I mean when I'm writing in my diary vs. writing an article that I'm gonna publish on the internet- how does that impact your writing and your ability to open yourself up when you're just making songs in your bedroom or whatever versus, "Okay, we're making a record, we are going to put this out for the world"?
FI: So the initial mindset is- it is writing a diary for the masses, basically- divulging things to people. And the decision comes in to play where it's like- alright, do I veil this, do I make things up, what do I do, do I hide? Or do I just go for it- no apologies, no regrets?
C&S: So you went for it.
FI: Yeah! So I was like- "fuck it." Here's the thing. If you're gonna fake it, you can do anything else. You can be- I don't know, you can work at the mall and fake it. If you're gonna do this, you might as well tell the truth and be unapologetic about what your truth is. And that's a hard thing to do sometimes. So- once you make that conscious decision to really go for it, the other thing that comes in to play is, "Alright, how do I do this in the most clear and concise manner, knowing that I'm not speaking to myself anymore, I'm speaking to maybe people that don't know exactly what I went through" and how do you communicate these emotions without confusing the issue?
C&S: So this time around you were writing with the band, right?
FI: Yeah- so I was writing and then bringing things to a live practice room and being like, "this is the idea, let's play this" and then listening back, recording it on a handheld [recorder] and then going home and re-listening and changing everything and going back the next day and [doing] that process for months.
C&S: Do you think working with other people helped you at all to be clear in your communication of ideas?
FI: Absolutely. Completely. It definitely, I'm sure, drove them crazy- but it had to happen that way. The record that we ended up making couldn't have been made any other way. Stomachaches was a moment in time; it was me in a room with a drum machine and a computer, just kinda figuring it out. I didn't know what I was doing, and-
C&S: Do you think you know what you're doing now?
FI: Fuck no! [laughs]
C&S: I think that if you ever think you know what you're doing, you probably don't.
FI: Oh no, absolutely not.
C&S: In a way, that realization that you don't know what you're doing, that you have a lot to learn, is what prompts you to keep working on yourself- personally, emotionally- as well as on your ability to communicate and share that with people.
FI: Yes. I'm a big fan, too, of going in to a medium with a pure intent and even though you don't know your way around, the meaning behind it is so pure that you're going to figure it out. Whether it be divine interference or whatever, you use your deficiency as your strength and make it work. I had a conversation with a person yesterday about how if you were to give a guitar to a monkey they would probably play it in a very percussive way- in a way that no guitar player would play it- and that is what's so special about that.
C&S: A theme that I got out of the record was this idea that you have these "demons" or whatever's going on in your life and you're wondering to some extent how that effects other people and how they see you and think of you and do they still care and accept you. A song like "Oceans" sees you kinda coming to that point where you're like, "Okay, maybe there are people who understand and accept what's going on"- when people say, "I relate to this" or "this makes sense to me"- what goes through your mind when people are saying they get that, or they get anything out of the record?
FI: I'm over the moon about that. Whether people love it or hate it, those are all emotions that are valid. I want people to feel something. If people are indifferent to it I think that's the only problem. You want to invoke some sort of thought process- some sort of feeling, some sort of conversation. And a lot of times, people are not getting out of it what I expected them to- or my original intent on that- and that's fine.
C&S: I mean it even sounds like the record took on a new meaning to you in a sense over the past year.
FI: Oh definitely, definitely. But that's what's so wonderful about music- I could be writing about, you know, ice in a tray, but what you get out of it is not gonna be that, and that goes on and affects somebody else in a different way- and then maybe it comes around again to ice in a tray but maybe it doesn't, you know? It goes off in this ripple effect. I'm sure we grew up in different households and different things like that- that means nothing when it comes to art or to music, I can affect you in a totally different way through that.
C&S: I was just outside and I saw people that have been out here for hours with sleeping bags and lawn chairs that have been waiting a long time- and I bet that if I talked to every single one of those people, they would all say, "Oh Frank's music means a lot to me"- but they'd probably all to some extent have different answers of why, which is cool.
FI: I totally agree. That's the point, you know.
C&S: If everyone got the same thing out of it-
FI: Well- that's what I think is so wonderful about people, is that we're all just so fucking different- even if you hate somebody, they're different from you and that's a wonderful, miracle thing.
C&S: Definitely. Well- thank you, Frank.
FI: Yeah, my pleasure!
C&S: Anything else that people should be on the lookout for this year, anything else you want to say or add in general?
FI: We're announcing a tour Monday. We're doing UK and Europe with Dave Hause and The Mermaid and The Homeless Gospel Choir and Paceshifters. We're releasing an EP on the 22nd of September so I'm looking forward to that as well.
C&S: Awesome, well thank you so much.
FI: My pleasure.
Thanks Frank!
See a full list of tour dates on Frank Iero’s website. Frank Iero and the Patience will be releasing a limited edition EP, Keep The Coffins Coming, on September 22 through Hassle Records. Keep up with Frank on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Hey y’all so I started this website where I interview bands where I go to school in Ithaca, NY and if you’re really nosey and wanna see what I look like and sound like then follow this link and watch this video and you can see how awkward I truly am.
Sorry for the mini hiatus but we’ve given this website a new face-lift and a new name and it is now called Beyond The Pit Press (forerly MelissaMusical.com). Based from our upcoming alternative radio show Beyond The Pit on KCOD Radio CoachellaFM. We’re here to bring you more than just good music! Good things are in store this year so stick around or follow if you haven’t! Thank you for the support!
This piece is a part of an interview series called Inner & Outer Portraits. Inner & Outer Portraits features in-depth conversations exploring personal experiences and the connections that we all feel with music, in combination with photographs of the subject. The goal? To showcase who they are from all angles, both inside and out.
When you write or create something personal, there's often a bit of hesitancy in putting it out into the world. Suddenly, you're revealing some of your deepest truths to the world. Once it's out there, it can feel freeing, but the biggest relief of all comes when you find someone who connects with what you wrote or created. Cory Castro of Free Throw (lead vocals and guitar) says he tries to write songs in a way that listeners can "take their own meaning from it" because "if they relate to it that means I'm not alone."
On May 26, Free Throw released their second full-length album, Bear Your Mind, on Triple Crown Records. From the opening track "Open Window" to the closer "Victory Road", Castro bears his mind for the world to hear, exploring topics like anxiety, family issues, body image, and loss. While Bear Your Mind dives deep, it remains completely self-aware; it’s introspective and personal while also being relatable.
Free Throw's recent headlining tour stopped at the Foundry in Philadelphia on June 24, where I met up with Castro for this piece. In our conversation, he talked about some of the bands he connected with immediately, and how powerful that immediate connection can be. If a flurry of social media posts are any clue, plenty of people have felt this immediate connection with Bear Your Mind. Our conversation got deep, but Castro seemed at ease as we talked, and when it came time to take portraits, there was a lot of laughter as we both joked around.
From why music is important to him to the meaning behind the album title Bear Your Mind, read on for the Inner & Outer Portrait of Cory Castro.
CIRCLES & SOUNDWAVES: What music have you personally connected with?
Cory Castro: There's a lot of it. Music's always been my thing since I was younger; even before I started playing music, I just loved music. I skateboarded a lot and skateboarding and music go hand in hand. When I skateboard, I've always got something in the headphones.
C&S: Which came first- a love of music, or skateboarding?
CC: Love of music, for sure. I've loved music since I was probably 4 or 5 years old- [that] was when I first realized, "oh my god, music is the coolest thing in the world"- but I didn't start skateboarding till I was about 10 or 11.
But as for bands that I've really, really connected with emotionally over the last few years, there's a band that used to be around called Grown Ups- they're from Indiana and the singer of that band is now the singer of Cloakroom- and they have an album called More Songs that is basically one of the hugest influences on what Free Throw does now.
Lately I've been really connecting with Hall & Oates for some reason. I think I'm just getting older, really- getting in to the things that my mom and dad would listen to. The first time I ever heard The Get Up Kids, that was a big one for me.
C&S: What was it like the first time you heard Grown Ups or The Get Up Kids?
CC: It's that moment of epiphany- like you just finally found something that captures inside what you were thinking of, I guess. It was a glorious thing. And some bands that doesn't happen immediately, it takes a little bit to listen to and then it happens- but Grown Ups was definitely a band that it immediately happened for me. Brand New, obviously, was a band that it immediately happened with. When I was in high school in the mid-2000s, Taking Back Sunday and Brand New and bands like that were really popular and so I immediately was like, "Oh man, everybody likes this kind of music that I like"- and a little bit off the topic, but Iron Maiden is a band that I absolutely love for some reason.
C&S: It's interesting- when I was in middle school and high school, it was Taking Back Sunday, Good Charlotte, blink-182 was a big one for me- and for a while I thought, "Well, I don't want to listen to anything else, because I listen to this and there's a stigma of liking anything else"- I don't know if stigma's the right word...
CC: Sometimes you get trapped into a certain scene of music and you find yourself only listening to that kind of music. I definitely went through phases where that was the only kind of music I listened to. Even when I was listening to Grown Ups, the only bands that I was listening to were, like, Algernon Cadwallader, or Snowing, and Grown Ups- all these bands that, outside of Philly, no one really listened to that much. Or they did but not, you know, normal everyday people.
C&S: Philly is the place right now for music.
CC: I love Philly. I love it. Every time we come here I have so much fun and I get to see so many friends- the music scene here is just wonderful.
C&S: What is your favorite song?
CC: My favorite song- like of all time?
C&S: Yeah.
CC: Oh man, I don't know- that's a hard one. I have a favorite song of right now which is probably "If This Tour Doesn't Kill You" by PUP. I love PUP, that band is an amazing band. But of all time? That's a really hard one. We'll go with something funny- the Space Jam theme song. I love that song.
C&S: As a follow-up to that, can you tell a story about a moment or a time when the PUP song really connected with you?
CC: Oh, yeah- every day of my life! [Laughs.] You know, when you're in a van with a bunch of people for a month, month and a half, two months at a time, of course little things start to get to you and you have these moments where you're just like, "Ugh"- but in a real sense, I don't have too many of those true moments where I'm like, wishing death upon someone. Our band is really a group of best friends. We hang out at home; we all- with the inclusion of Kevin over the past year and a half to two years- are just a group of best friends. You know, we get in to our spats, and then we listen to that song and everybody feels better.
C&S: Why is music important to you?
CC: It's my outlet. It's my saving grace, I guess- without it, I don't know what I would do. I don't know what I would be doing, I don't know what my career would be. I have no idea what life would be like, and it's honestly the most therapeutic thing I've ever had in my entire life.
I've struggled my entire life with mental health issues and anxiety disorder- I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder when I was I think 4 years old.
C&S: I honestly did not realize that they would diagnose someone so young.
CC: I was starting school and every time my parents wouldn't show up on time, I immediately started freaking out and I was convinced that they were dead and those kind of things. I ended up going to therapy and my therapist was pretty sure from a young age that I was suffering from anxiety disorder. And not being able to cope and handle situations the way I should- I freak out way too easily. So I've been dealing with that my entire life and have found a way to express it through music; even if it's not about that subject, playing music in general is something that takes my mind off of it.
C&S: For someone who hears Free Throw for the first time, what do you want them to get out of your band?
CC: Most people immediately establish that we're a drinking band, which is funny but I try really hard to write the songs in a way that is relatable and that people can insert themselves into the lyrics and into the situation and take their own meaning from it…. I want the band to be relatable- I want people to relate to it because if they relate to it that means I'm not alone.
C&S: So it's a circular thing, in a way.
CC: It is, it helps me just as much as it helps other people to realize that they're relating to something- to realize that they're relating to it helps me. It's very much my therapy process and my way of making it through life.
C&S: You put out a new album, Bear Your Mind, about a month ago- tell me about the album title.
CC: Oh, wow- it actually was the last thing to come about. When Kevin tried out for the band, "Weak Tables" was the first song that we wrote for the album. He flew from Boston to try out for the band and we wrote two songs and we were like, "Well, we guess we wrote these songs, so you're in the band now." Immediately after we wrote that song, I knew what I wanted to write the album about- cuz I had been struggling about what I wanted to write the next album about, because the first one was about a very bad relationship that I had.
C&S: And this record is very- what I said when I wrote about the record was that it's very introspective but without being in a way that you're stuck in your own head.
CC: Without being too specific, you know- I wanted it to be introspective and broad. When we wrote [Those Days Are Gone] it had this distinct thing behind it, this distinct event that made me want to write the whole album, and this time around I was like, "I don't want to write another break-up album"- recently I was in a serious relationship for two years but up until that point I hadn't had any kind of break up to want to write about. I'm not just gonna make up things.
I wrote "Weak Tables" about my struggles with social anxiety and sometimes not wanting to leave my house, but I wrote it in a very broad spectrum. As soon as we wrote that song I knew exactly what I wanted the record to be about. I knew that I wanted it to be about my personal struggles since that relationship, and how at first I blamed it on the relationship but then I realized that maybe it was me all along.
It's kind of a journey through my thought process, my brain- the album is basically picking my brain, and that's how the title came about. We were looking for album covers and Cody from the band Alaska had taken some photos while they were in the UK that he sent to us. That picture came up, the one with the mannequin with the TV sitting on its shoulder. Kevin and I were going back and forth trying to come up with album titles and we weren't getting anything great, and I was like, "Dude, I really like the idea of that mannequin holding the TV on its shoulder and not having a head- it's almost like it's carrying its head…. I say 'Bear in mind' a lot on 'Andy And I, Uh...'- what about the idea of if you had to carry your brain around, you had to carry your thought process around? I feel like it fits the record"- and so that's where Bear Your Mind came from.
C&S: You were talking about how "Weak Tables" dives into your struggles with social anxiety- is it hard to talk about that?
CC: It gets a lot easier. Especially after putting the record out and opening myself up to everybody- it's a little bit easier to talk about. There are a lot of songs on the record that I was worried about putting out cuz you start getting hesitant about actually putting yourself out there like that. Especially "Better Have Burn Heal"- I got really, really hesitant about putting that song out because it was such a struggle for me to admit that I was having these problems and that I was struggling with myself- I didn't even talk to my parents about this! And I knew that everybody was gonna hear it and I was gonna have to talk about it, but I think putting it out there and being able to talk about it was part of the healing process.
Now with the social anxiety thing- yeah, it's kinda hard sometimes; sometimes you wanna clam up and go inside your shell.
C&S: "How do I talk about the fact that I think everyone hates me and I'm just gonna mess up this social situation?"
CC: Mhmm! I have that same thing happening all the time. I always think that people think I'm annoying, for some reason, which is a very strange thing to think about because I don't really think that I'm that annoying of a person, but I get it in my head that everyone thinks that I'm annoying.
C&S: Right!
So you said that you were hesitant about putting "Better Have Burn Heal" on the record, but you did.
CC: Well, it also came with help from those guys. They liked the song and said, "We should put it on the record"; I was like, "I don't know if I wanna talk about really personal things on this song."
Growing up my whole life, I was a bean pole- this small, skinny, somewhat athletic person- I played basketball and I rock climbed and stuff- and then I decided to try a new medication for anxiety. I had been going on and off medication my entire life and I was going through a really bad time for my anxiety, so I tried to go on a new medication- and one of the side effects was rapid weight gain. And I didn't know that at all- the doctor hadn't told me at all.
C&S: All the side effects are like, "Well, it might be this...".
CC: Yeah. And I was also hitting my mid-twenties around this time, so as a growing adult my metabolism was starting to slow down, and then with the side effects from that medication, I gained so much weight so fast. I had also quit smoking cigarettes around the same time- a side effect of weaning yourself off tobacco is gaining weight as well.
I went from about 175 to approaching 250- so I gained well over 50 pounds in a small amount of time, and I freaked out. You get used to yourself as one way and then you have to…. I started doing all this other stuff- dieting and trying to work out and none of it was working the way I wanted it to. Then going on tour, it started to be harder because I couldn't work out or diet on tour. So I started finding little ways to try and make myself feel better about it- and I've lost weight since then but I fluctuate, it's kinda hard- and in a way I learned to accept myself for who I am, which is really nice.
I tried to write the song in a way that people who struggle with not only that but things like gender identity, or anyone who struggles with their identity in general, could insert themselves into that song and realize that it's okay to be who you are. It's cool to be who you are. And sometimes, yeah, it's hard to look at yourself in the mirror or whatever, but then you realize you're here for a reason.
C&S: Every couple of days, I see someone post "Better Have Burn Heal" on Facebook or Twitter saying, "Oh my god, this song hits me." I'm sure you have people coming up to you and telling you what either that song or any song on the record means to them; what's it like when people say, "Wow, this means a lot to me" or "I relate to this"?
CC: It means the world to me when people tell me that. Because- like I said earlier- I wrote the record because I was putting myself out there and I like when people relate to it, because it makes me feel better to… Whenever I used to hear songs that I related to, it made me feel so much better because even if it was a song about something that I hated going on in my life, I heard someone else having the same problem and it was like, "Okay, well at least I'm not alone."
C&S: Were you someone that would ever go up to your favorite band and be like, "Hey..."?
CC: Absolutely. Well, I don't know- I get shy and nervous sometimes. Actually when I first started meeting a lot of the bands that I'm friends with now, I would catch them at a time when we were just all kinda hanging out and be like, "Hey, so, uh- I hate to be a fan right now- but this song did a lot for me, thank you." You know- I still do it from time to time.
But I love it when people come up and tell me that. I know that some people don't like when people like approach them randomly, but it doesn't bother me at all. Even though I have social anxiety, I feel like doing music is kind of my purpose in life, so it kind of forgoes it sometimes, if that makes sense.
C&S: I get that- this is where you feel like you're meant to be.
CC: It's still there, but it helps to know that people are relating and it makes them feel better, too. That definitely helps.
C&S: You have a song on the record called "Dead Reckoning", which you wrote about losing your grandfather when you were 13; when you wrote the song, were you thinking of where you were in your mind then, or how you feel about it now?
CC: When I wrote the song, the music had been written for a while and I knew what I wanted to write the [lyrics] about, I just really couldn't get the words out. It was one of the last songs I finished the lyrics for. One night while we were at the studio, I was sitting there drinking whiskey and just looking at the bottom of the glass, thinking about how I wanted to write this song. I wrote it about my entire thought process from that moment; it's written in a very real-time aspect- that's why it says, "Reflections from the bottom of the glass." I spent the whole night thinking about the idea of losing someone close to you and how it affects you, and I knew that I wanted to include the loss of my grandfather in it, because it was the first loss in my entire life that I experienced that truly destroyed me.
The song is about me sitting there thinking, looking at the bottom of that glass and remembering what it was like. The memory of when my mom told me about my grandfather's passing is so vivid; I have a photographic memory. When I listen to that song, it brings me back; it's kind of hard to listen to. I was downstairs at my other grandparents' house, on my mom's side- this was my dad's father that had passed away. [He passed away] in a car accident actually, which is one of the reasons why I have vehicular anxiety so bad now. My mom had gotten off the phone and I was standing there, wondering why she was so upset, and she told me to sit down. I sat down on the stairs and that's why- even that part is in the song, "I sat there on the steps and did my best to take it in"- and I remember when that had happened I was trying to think of the last thing I said to him, the last moment that I had with him, the last time he gave me a hug, and I couldn't think of any of it and it just overwhelmed me.
I knew when I started writing music that one day I'd write a song about it, I just didn't know when and then it finally happened for this record.
C&S: This is your first official headlining tour; being on a headlining tour vs. supporting another tour, do you feel like you have a different connection with the people there?
CC: Yeah, sometimes- absolutely. When you're headlining and you're the last band there every night and you see all those people still there, you know that they're there for a reason- even if they like the bands before you that have played, the fact that they stuck around means that they're at least interested.
So yeah, I definitely feel a little bit more of a connection with the people, and especially since we're playing longer sets- doing a headlining tour, you go from playing 25 to 35 minutes to playing 45 to 55 minutes. You go to this longer experience of being in front of these people and honestly- starting this headliner the day that the record came out, it's been really, really cool to watch the progress of the crowds learn the lyrics to the newer songs. The first day, they knew the singles, and now people are singing along with songs that I never expected them to sing along with, which is really cool!
I kinda miss being a support band because it's a little bit easier- being a headlining band, you're the first band to arrive and the last band to leave, and there's a lot more to do all the time- but I definitely think the connection with the people is a lot stronger. You're no longer playing for someone else's crowd, I guess, if that makes sense.
C&S: That totally makes sense.
CC: You're playing for- hopefully- people who are there to see your band, which is really cool.
C&S: What does music mean to you?
CC: Absolutely everything. It's- like I said, it's my life. It's my therapy. It's my entire existence, really, I've 100% always been a musical person [and] I don't see that ever changing.
It means everything to me because all the connections I've made in life have mostly been through music- all the times I've had to deal with my own problems and get over them, I've done it through music. I've seen the world through music now. I've seen Europe and the UK and all of the United States and Canada- I've gotten to do everything I've ever done because of music. So- it is most definitely my everything. It comes first for me.
C&S: Is there anything else you want to say?
CC: Thank you to everybody that got us to this point, whoever has ever supported our band or listened to any of our records, our EPs- even the joke ones, even the "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" song that we did for Christmas once- thank you. From the bottom of my heart and I know from the rest of the guys' hearts, too- it means the world to us. And I hope that people can relate to the new record and enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it and making it.
Bear Your Mind is available now here and streaming on Spotify here. Read Molly’s thoughts on the record here and see photos from Free Throw’s show at The Foundry in Philadelphia on June 24 here. Keep up with Free Throw on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and their official website.
Stream More Songs by Grown Ups on Spotify here. Stream “If This Tour Doesn’t Kill You” by PUP on Spotify here.
