After a fine morning of arguing about how right I am about everything with ChatGPT at the Butler Public Library, my bladder needed relief, and was found in the restroom. A momentary stretch in the mirror gave me pause. Having admired the Adonis staring back at me for all of my life, I stood now confused. After my 45 years of substance abuse, lack of exercise, and sheltering in trashbags on the sides of highways it had finally happened. My dad-body had set in, and there I stood with no children to blame it on. Having been skinny all of my life, having a stomach was something I simply thought I would never have to contend with, yet there it was in all it's jiggly glory. A little disheartened I left the bathroom and said out loud, "Well that wasn't there before.". Being the current banner bearer for the Universe's Cosmic Jackass fate found it appropriate to station a pleasantly perfect little granny directly to my left. She looked up at my from her canary yellow cardigan with a snarl fit for a fantasy's finest fire breathers. My guess I that she had a different interpretation as to what the hell I was talking about that had something more to do with perhaps the discovery of something that shouldn't be there on an unmentionable part of the body. Before I could alleviate her disgust by cordial explanation in front of the public bathroom of the public library, the door had already shut and locked. I almost knocked, then it hit me. I finally found that moment of surrender that I had been hearing about from all of those meetings I go to daily. Why should I care at all about what someone I don't know thinks incorrectly about me. It doesn't matter! I know who I am. I know what I was talking about. This isn't a boat worth bailing, and I don't need to give it a second thought! Plus there was a strong chance she would die in there before she had a chance to tell anybody. Even if she did who would listen. Just a crazy old lady talking about random dude's dicks at the Butler County Public Library.
