PITY SEX, WHOMPS & GET WELL @ BLOC 21/05/15
First on is Egyptian ex pats ‘GET WELL’.
Previously called We Are The Physics but after 6 previous bassists died from singer/real life crab Snippy Steves repeated pinchings they’re celebrating their 7th gig with the rename and new 2 piece lineup.
The set starts raucous enough with Snippy leaping from his murky fish tank to scream into the mic but looks on angrily at drummer Beef Tabernacle as his heavy footed double bass drum assault has disheveled some of his beloved barnacles from his huge tank (some say they hold the key to the bands unique sound others say the barnacles feast on Snippy’s waste).
This tension only adds to an excellent performance as the pair make it through most of the set without one death.
Next up, fresh from recording with top producer Steve McFadden, are Falkirk heroes WOMPS.
The band gained infamy when they hired lotto lout Michael Carroll on front vox and punching last week and are here to prove a point to local nose ring enthusiast and radio personality Victor Galloway who slated them recently by way of writing 'womps are rubbish’ on the side of his new mitre delta football then kicking it through the window of guitarist Kev Kandys dads shite motor (Fiat Samba in Loser brown).
Taking on a new oasis style sound these self styled tuff guys have all the swagger of Liam Gallagher and all the hair of Bonehead as all the band members are completely BALD apart from Carroll.
Stand out tracks included 'Burnt oot motor foo of hash’ and 'Baw Booter’ but the place goes crazy as John Barrowman accent when they unleash glam stomper 'Punch the Polis’ featuring Mad Chef on backing voKILLS and CURRY!
Carroll calls for his pal Big Zeek to join him on stage and he does in the most rock and roll ways slum dwellers can manage!
Zeek parts the crowd with his Ford Fiesta but due to the amount of Valium and pickled eggs he’s consumed he loses control and destroys the drum kit along with drummer Punch Petersons body subsequently turning him into a GHOST.
PITY SEX’s set is now cancelled which as just as well as bass player Tex Baseball is now intoxicated more than a bad Dad after feasting on one of Mad Chefs legendary Tennents Super hot dogs with Lambert and Butler fries and is now being escorted away by the police for stripping naked and arguing with bar staff who are perplexed at his demand for 'God dam soda and some god dam guns’.