#barry and sofia

[lostsyren]

AGED UP RAFE, BARRY & SOFIA

fancast: christian bale as rafe / ana de armas as sofia / skeet ulrich as barry

[beautyinsteadofashes]

obx - bafia

[lostsyren]

⟢ scrupulosity

{summary: with fishing season coming to an end, barry starts to work at the pawn shop again, when one day he sees sofia, a girl he knows in passing, trying to sell a shiny, diamond ring…}

{a/n: wrote the barry x sofia fic that 12 of you were intrigued by! hope you enjoy! it’s long– 6k words}

{warnings: mentions of sex, drugs,}

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　

After the gold ran out, Barry had enough money saved up to get out of his shitty, little trailer.

He honestly wanted out of Kildare– out of the endless bouts of dead-end jobs, the crackheads that came knocking down his door in the night and the clinging sense of hopelessness that pervaded every street corner of The Cut. But life had a way of keeping him stuck.

The money trickled in and once he and Rafe sold all the gold, they once again drifted apart. It wasn't sudden and stinging, like being doused in ice water or pricked with a needle. But slow– like a numbness that grows when you’ve been sitting on your feet for too long.

Rafe went all real estate mogul on him and Barry had neither the time or patience to entertain that kook bullshit. So he picked up a job at the docks: Cap’n Barry at your service, and all that.

So if a fisherman and a businessman walked into a bar what would happen? One unfunny joke– that’s what. And both Rafe and Barry knew that. So they spent less and less time together, both making money elsewhere. Stick to their zones. Figure 8 and The Cut. Luxury yacht and fishing trawler. They didn’t need each other anymore.

But as one last gesture of goodwill, Rafe helped him find a house. Maybe having a real estate friend had its perks, Barry thought with a snicker, when Rafe handed him the keys to his new place. It was near the docks, hidden away next to the marshes and it was everything the trailer wasn’t. Spacious, clean, more windows than he could count on one hand.

Barry Riva had finally made it out of that fucking trailer park.

Days were simple and easy. He no longer had to sell drugs to survive; he could just use them like a normal person. His favourite thing to do was to light a blunt when the sun was setting, sitting outside on his porch (cause he had one of those now) and watch the light sink into the horizon as he blew smoke rings up into the clear air.

When fishing season was coming to an end, Barry picked up his job at the Curio Pawn Shop. Alice gladly welcomed him back– his partner in crime she’d nicknamed him. Barry enjoyed it. The old woman told dirty jokes which he smirked at and let him swig some of her brandy that she kept under the counter.

He liked fixing up trinkets and gadgets and gizmos, whether it be the engine of his motorbike or the gears of a pocket watch. And that’s what Barry was doing the day Alice called him over from the front counter.

“Barry! Come over here and check this out!”

Barry slipped off his glasses, putting down his tools, before shuffling past the blue curtain to the shop floor.

The place was usually very quiet– save for a couple regulars coming in to hock a bunch of shit and the occasional customer who was looking to find a good deal on some vintage furniture. And most of the clientele were old. What person past the age of forty went to a pawn shop?

So when Barry saw the girl standing at the counter he was mildly shocked– he was expecting a pensioner, stirring up some trouble for Alice.

“Come check this rock here– see if it’s legit.”

The girl at the counter turned her head towards him. Mild shock transitioned to regular old shock– Barry was also not expecting to recognise her.

“Oh I didn’t know you worked here,” said the girl, who had her arms wrapped around herself as if she was cold. Or uncomfortable. And considering they were stuck in a sweltering, North Carolina summer, Barry wondered why she was so uneasy.

He nodded his head playfully to her statement, “I’m multifaceted y’know?” He tried to put a name to the face. It was Sophie– no, it was Sofia. Her name was Sofia. That’s right, Rafe’s girl.

“Take her round back and check it out.” Alice handed him a silver ring, a big fat diamond sticking out of it. Barry raised his eyebrows in interest.

“Come with me,” he said, leading the way to his ‘office’– a small space equipped with a decrepit TV box connected to the CCTV, a desk strewn with receipts, and cabinets of stock they still needed to sort through.

Alice stayed on counter-duty, so it was just him and Sofia in the room. Barry still held on to the ring. He noticed Sofia’s eyes flit from the floor to the diamond, her teeth sunk into her bottom lip, gnawing until the flesh turned pink.

“Sofia right?” Barry said, taking a seat. He pulled out the diamond tester whist Sofia just hovered awkwardly beside him.

“Yep.”

“You remember my name?” He probed with a smirk, flashing her his gold tooth. Sofia let out a soft laugh.

“Yeah. You’re Barry.”

“Good memory.” He held the tester on the rock, until it emitted a shrill beep.

“100% real.”

Sofia just nodded, as if she was already expecting it. Barry looked between her and the ring. Her pallid face and taut jaw. The way she dug her nails into her sides.

“Why are you so nervous? You pawning off Rafe's engagement ring or somethin’?” He chucked, half-joking. But Sofia didn’t find it funny: her brows cinching together, eyes flashing with an undeniable sheen of guilt.

Barry’s interest in her suddenly piqued. He roved over her regretful demeanour, glancing down at the diamond straight from Figure 8 in his hands.

“Oh shit– you are, aren’t you?”

Sofia shook her head with a vehement scoff, “just give it back. I’ve changed my mind.” She lunged forward, but Barry pushed back in his seat.

“I’m not judging you– just calm down a’ight?” But Sofia didn’t calm down. Her big, shiny eyes suddenly glossed over with tears.

“Shit, you don’t need to cry– here, have it.”

Sofia grabbed the ring unceremoniously, about to leave.

“Look– if Rafe did somethin’ you can tell me, yeah?”

Sofia paused. Barry heard her take a shuddering breath.

“I thought you and Rafe were friends?”

Barry laughed at that, watching Sofia turn to face him, distrust evident in her features.

“I wouldn’t call us friends.”

The two shared a look. Barry couldn’t decipher her– and he was usually good at reading people. She was upset, clearly– but why? And who was in the wrong here– her or Rafe? If Barry was a betting man (which he was) he had his money on Rafe.

He stood up, but Sofia slid past the curtain as if she was a skittish deer, jumping at the first sight of movement. He heard the rattle of the bell and the click of the door shutting, leaving Barry with a head full of questions and a corroding interest in the girl with dark hair and a diamond ring she never slipped on to her finger.

***

She came back to the pawn shop a couple days later. He saw her in the security feed first, meandering about the shop floor aimlessly, eyes wandering over the shelves of knick knacks.

Barry watched the staticy screen, waiting for her to make the first move.

“Can I help you?” He heard Alice ask, in that usual, crude way of hers.

“I’m just looking for Barry– is he in?”

He tensed up wondering why she returned. Did she want to finally sell that diamond of hers– or Rafe’s diamond, he should say. Then why was she asking specifically for him?

Alice came in a moment later, shutting the curtain behind her. “Got the same girl from a couple days ago asking for you.”

“You can send her in,” Barry instructed, curiosity getting the better of him.

Alice raised her brows in a provoking flash, “ok then boss.”

He tapped his foot against the faded carpet. Sofia came in as Alice left.

“Back so soon huh?” Barry pulled out a stool for her to sit on, which she gingerly accepted. Barry thought back to when he saw her last. She hung around the house a lot when he’d come over while Rafe and him were still selling the gold. She was different from then. He always thought she looked too happy– a sweet smile paired with even sweeter words. But now dark bags marred her under eyes and it was as if her lips were stuck in a perpetual frown.

“You mentioned I could tell you– if Rafe did something.” She began, wringing her hands in her lap.

The initial amusement stirring in Barry was quickly replaced with a sobering concern. What the fuck did Rafe do this time?

He nodded in what he hoped was a reassuring way.

Sofia’s breath hitched, her eyes darting upwards, her mouth opened in a little ‘o’. “It was an engagement ring. You were right– Rafe proposed.”

Barry nodded again, leaning forward in his chair. Country club getting married? The thought was laughable. But seeing the distraught girl in front of him snuffed out the humour of the notion real fast.

“But he ended it, before I could even tell anyone. I’ve just had to pretend like everything is ok when it’s not. So when you said I could talk with you…” Sofia trailed off, looking Barry in the eye. “I’m sorry this is stupid– I should go.” She got up to leave, her hair falling into her eyes, dark curls matching his own.

Barry instinctively reached out to grab her wrist, “nah it’s not stupid. You can tell me, yeah?”

Sofia gazed down at him, then down at his hands encircling his wrists. Barry let her go.

Sofia bit her lip. “You sure?”

He didn’t know why he was saying yes. There was something about Sofia that drew her to him– he knew she was from the Cut like himself, he knew she’d dealt with Rafe’s bitch-ass too. There was an affinity between them and he could sense it. Even if she couldn’t.

At that moment, Alice poked her head around the curtain, “time to close up Barry.”

“Shit,” he muttered, glancing at the clock. It was nearing 8 PM.

“I can come back another time.”

“No no, you’re good. We can talk after. Just give me five minutes to close.”

Sofia scrunched her face watching as Barry unhooked the keys from their perch. Her arms found themselves wrapping around herself again. “And where will we talk?”

“My place? If that’s ok with you.”

Sofia simply nodded, that same vacant look floating back in her eyes.

***

He drove her to his house, picking up some food and beers on the way. They made small talk–

What was his job at the pawn shop like?

Were they hiring?

Didn’t you work at the country club?

You quit? Why?

Barry led her inside, the sun beginning to set.

They were sitting in front of the coffee table in the living room. He’d bought burgers. She took a couple bites out of hers before pushing it to the side, sipping regularly at her beer instead.

“So– tell me. What happened?” Barry began, mid-bite.

Sofia sniffed, shifting uncomfortably on the couch.

“Well you know he proposed. I wasn’t expecting it. I didn’t think he saw us as anything serious, you know?” Her eyes flickered up to Barry, who understood too well. Rafe had a penchant for duality– saying one thing then doing the other.

“He told me to move into his house and quit my job– he painted this picture-perfect future for us. I can’t believe I fell for it,” she chuckled sardonically, sipping some more of her drink.

“He can be a real sweet talker.” Barry wiped his mouth clean with a napkin.

“But then he called me, a couple days ago. Told me to– and I quote– pack my shit and get out of his house.”

Barry let out a hiss of air, face creasing in a sympathetic wince as he leaned back into the couch.

“I didn’t even have any time to tell my family or friends about the engagement– so I’ve just been miserable, fending off questions about why I look like crap.”

“Is that why you were askin’ if we were hirin’? You actually went ahead and quit your job?”

Sofia nodded, cheeks burning red in what Barry assumed to be shame– God did Rafe Cameron know how to make someone feel ashamed.

She finished her beer, opening up another can and taking a big gulp. Barry eyed the girl sitting across from him. Her unassuming manner, her angelic features, her small frame. Barry already knew she did something– Rafe wouldn’t have just kicked her out like that. The boy may have been dangerous but he was never cruel. Well, at least not cruel without reason. But the question now was: what the fuck did Sofia do? She was conveniently leaving that bit of the story out.

Sofia gazed across at him, with waterlogged eyes and a trembling Cupid’s bow. “When I saw you that day, in the pawn shop I got scared. I thought you’d tell Rafe I was selling his mother’s ring.”

“Shittt– his mama’s ring? Wouldn’t take you for a bad girl Sofia.”

“I’m not– I’m not bad. He just– he’s never been so horrible to me before. And I was angry. I was angry that I listened to him and quit. I was angry that he broke up with me over a phone call. I was angry that he didn’t even hear me out.” Her voice rose to an impassioned outcry, before abruptly cutting off. She paused. Looked down. And then, her voice softer, “I was angry at myself too.”

“What did you do huh?” Barry probed, with an eager interest. He told himself he was doing a good, decent thing– helping out a poor girl. She clearly didn’t have anyone else to talk to. And that was somewhat true; Barry wasn’t heartless. But there was a masticating intrigue inside him. Barry wondered if Rafe also felt that way about Sofia– the need to find out what was behind the cheery smiles and pretty eyes. What darkness lay in her that made her attracted to someone as depraved as Rafe Cameron?

“I betrayed his trust.” She admitted meekly, her body almost folding in on herself.

Barry furrowed his eyebrows wondering how she managed that. “And how did you betray his trust exactly?”

“You know Hollis Robinson?”

It took a while for him to recall why that name sounded familiar– Hollis Robinson. The biggest realtor on the island. She had her face plastered to every park bench and notice board: Call Hollis today! Next to the picture of her smiling– all teeth, no sugar. Her death had been big news on the island– her murder, Barry should say.

Fuck. Did Sofia have something to do with that? Nah. She couldn’t have.

“Yeah– the realtor who was murdered.”

Sofia nodded, her face blanching at the mention of murder, “yeah her. She asked me to convince Rafe to do business with her. It was obviously a scam– 400k for Goat Island? The promise of millions in ROI? My dad always taught me if something sounds too good to be true, it usually is. But Rafe’s always been unsure of himself. Hollis knew he was malleable. And I stupidly agreed to push him for it.”

“But why? Why would you agree if you cared about him?” Barry wondered, listening to Sofia’s panicked stringing together of sentences.

“I overheard Rafe say some things about me. He called me a pogue he was just hooking up with saying how he wouldn’t ever live with one. And instead of talking to him about it, I turned around and took Hollis’ money.”

Barry nodded his head, listening solemnly to her story, which was more like a confession. “How much?”

“25 thousand.”

“You use any of it?”

Sofia shook her head, gaze flickering onto the carpet.

“Feel bad?”

She nodded, taking another sip of her beer.

“How did he find out? You tell him?”

Sofia shook her head again, “no. I should’ve but I didn’t. Groff told him. Him and Hollis were business partners, but Groff took off with the money– Rafe’s money. And he went off to go get it back.”

“Where?”

Sofia simply just shrugged.

“Well damn– looks like you scammed him fair and square Sofia. You can add another 10 to the 25k from the ring.”

“I’m not selling the ring– that was a moment of bad judgment. I was bitter.

“And you’re not bitter anymore?”

Sofia‘s face creased into a frown, her eyes once again tearing up.

Barry’s heart dropped at how despondent she was. Rafe really sunk his teeth into her, sucking all the light straight from her marrow, didn’t he?

Barry neared her on the couch, placing a consoling hand on her forearm. The action felt alien to him. He was unused to this level of vulnerability. The last time he remembered consoling someone was actually Rafe– back when he had a prepubescent face and wore solely pastel. He’d tried to knock some sense into him; he needed that then– a bit of roughness. But with Sofia? He didn’t think he could be that coarse with her.

“I thought he loved me,” she whispered, looking up at Barry. The tears overflowed, spilling down her ruddy cheeks in heavy streaks.

Barry didn’t know what to do– a predicament he wasn’t faced with often.

Sofia suddenly snapped out of it, probably spurred on by Barry's blank expression, “I’m sorry,” she wiped her tears away in a frantic rush, Barry’s hand falling from her arm, “this must be so weird for you.”

He just laughed, relieved he no longer had to comfort her. Retracting his hand from hers, he let out a soft inhale, “nah you’re good– weirder things have happened if you can believe.”

Sofia giggled, Barry finding himself mirroring her smile. He wanted to eke the sound of laughter from her again.

“I should probably go,” Sofia suddenly stood up, smoothening the wrinkles in her jeans.

Barry found himself wanting her to stay longer. With a bigger house came a lot more empty space. He’d grown to feel lonely.

“Ok, you good to get home or do you need me to drop you off?”

Sofia gave him a polite smile, “thank you, but I’ll just catch the bus.”

He quirked his brows up at her “you sure? You don’t think I’m a creep do’ya? Like you didn’t jus’ spend the past hour or so in my house.”

Sofia laughed softly, shaking her head. There it was again– that pretty, little sound. The thought of how much Rafe made her laugh passed through his brain. His jokes used to always grate on Barry; he wondered if Sofia found them funny.

“No you’re not creepy at all. A little intimidating but that’s ok,” she teased. “And besides, I’m grateful that you let me talk– you don’t understand how horrible it was pretending like everything was ok. So thank you.”

Barry nodded at her sincerity. Being an ex-drug dealer (for the most part) meant he’d heard a ton of sob stories, dealt with a whole horde of whinging customers– Rafe used to be one of them. But not once did he feel some sort of pride for lending them an ear for their troubles. It was always just business to him– the customer service bit of it. And none of them were ever grateful. Like him listening to all their bullshit was part of the transaction. But Sofia had a way of making him feel good. Barry could understand why Rafe used to want to be around her so much.

“No problem. And if you’re still up for it, Alice was gonna hire someone to help sort through all the stock and deal with customers– come down tomorrow and I’ll put in a good word with her.”

“Oh my gosh, really!? Thank you so much Barry.” She bubbled up, her hands instinctively reaching up to grab his shoulders.

He swayed on his feet, “it’s nothin’ don’t worry about it. It’ll be nice to have someone else to talk to.”

They shared a look, no longer than a second, but Sofia withdrew her hands from his skin instantly.

“I appreciate it– truly.”

And with that, she left, leaving Barry with a half-eaten burger and the feeling of being a little more whole.

***

The next morning, Barry found himself anticipating Sofia’s arrival. His ears perked up whenever the bell at the entrance rang.

He’d told Alice about her. She’d given him a scalding look that he brushed off. How could he explain that it wasn’t a stupid, school boy crush. He understood her. And he felt bad for her. He knew what Rafe was like– more than anyone else. And that just increased his pity for the girl even more.

She arrived at 10 AM. Not too late, not too early. Dressed in the same jeans as yesterday and a simple T-shirt, her hair bundled up on her head, she approached Alice first who talked her through the job and the pay in a mini-interview. Barry watched on the CCTV feed, smirking at how polite and attentive Sofia was– kiss ass.

Alice eventually led Sofia round back, where she introduced him to Barry.

“Yall already know each other I presume– that means no fucking around. In more ways than one alright?”

Sofia’s cheeks reddened, her gaze avoiding Barry’s, who just rolled his eyes. “Thank you Alice for that warm welcome.”

The old woman let out a gruff mumble, before slipping behind the curtain once again.

“You get used to her.”

Sofia nodded, giving him a small smile.

Barry stood up, with a ceremonial nod. “So then, let’s get to work.”

***

Work ended, Sofia and Barry leaving the shop after closing. Her first day had been great– her customer service from the country club really came in handy when dealing with the cranky old folk who’d try and sell plasticky, fake shit. Alice would usually get into a shouting match with them and Barry would just kick them out, but Sofia managed to deal with it smoothly and fuss-free.

“So how did you find it?” Barry asked, pulling down the shop shutters and locking up. The sky began to darken, twilight fast approaching.

“Good, it was a nice change of scenery from the the country club. Serving kooks all day really takes a toll on you.”

“The pay is probably not as good though is it?”

Sofia shook her head, Barry turning round face her after he clasped the padlock.

“No– but it’s ok. It’s nice to have something to do. And I guess I should pick off where Rafe left me.”

Her tone took a dismal shift, but Sofia quickly brushed past it, looking at Barry with shiny eyes, “thank you again.”

***

They ended up back at his place again– “your first day deserves some sorta commemoration ain’t it?” And Sofia happily agreed.

Barry supposed she was quite lonely too. The times where he and Rafe discussed business at Tannyhill, where she’d inevitably linger about– cooking something in the kitchen, stealing kisses when Rafe left the room– Barry always wondered if she had any friends? Did they not miss her when she was holed up on Figure 8 with Rafe? She was either working in the country club or shacking it up with country club.

And the fact she told no one about the engagement? How fucking isolated did Rafe keep her?

“To your first day,” Barry toasted, holding up his can of beer to her can of White Claw they’d picked up at the convenience store.

“Thanks to you,” she clicked their drinks of choice together.

Eventually they became tipsy, exchanging stories on the couch, bodies sprawled like water and laughter bubbling from their chests.

“She was my 6th grade teacher too!” Sofia exclaimed.

Barry scoffed, taking another swig. “I thought she’d for sure be fired– she couldn't even teach math properly.”

“Nope, she’s still there. Now my siblings are coming to me and asking for help on their algebra.”

Their laughter faded into chitters.

“It’s nice talking about the Cut– Rafe always hated it. Even when he picked me up, I could tell he didn’t like to drive all the way down here.” Sofia glanced down, irises darkening.

Barry rolled his eyes, “he used to always be down here. It probably just brings back bad memories or somethin’.”

“Like what?” Sofia probed, meeting his gaze.

“Nothin’…” he quickly shut up. Barry was many things but he was for sure no snitch.

Sofia closed her mouth, questions dying on her tongue. She respected his boundary. The first one he’d placed.

“Look– I don't know what he’s told you.” He began, turning to face her on the couch.

“No, I know. It’s ok. I knew he was keeping things from me. I just feel stupid that I let him.” Her demeanour again shifted, her hands wrapping around herself, teeth sinking into her bottom lip.

“Sofia…c’mon.”

“I let him take so much you know? I thought that getting at least 25k was my right? Shit–“ she’d began to cry again, pushed by her inebriation and heady mess of emotions. Her voice dropped an octave– barely a rasping whisper. “I feel so guilty, all the time Barry.”

They were centimetres apart, Barry hyper aware of the tears beading her lashes, each tremor that befell her lips. Another whimper left her throat before he felt her head fall on to his chest, her hands clutching at his shirt.

He froze, stuck still not knowing what to do. Slowly his hand lowered, one resting on the back of her head, atop her soft, dark curls, and the other on her knee, careful not to inch up to her thigh.

She stayed like that for maybe half a minute, before pulling herself off of him, “I’m so sorry. I just– ” she paused for a moment, catching her hitching breath, “I should go.”

“No. Stay.” He said quickly. His hand shot onto her leg.

He watched as Sofia’s teary eyes fell onto his vein-strewn hands back on to his darkened stare.

They remained like that, suspended in a moment, Barry’s thoughts blurring with the consecutive beers (more so with how fucking beautiful she looked in front of him). He’d noticed her before, sure. But she was always ‘Rafe’s girl’. It was only now did Barry see her as her own person and not just an extension of Rafe– the hot girl who always lounged by the pool, or pattered around in her tiny pyjamas, Rafe’s side chick who’s name was barely worth remembering.

Now she was Sofia. And she was in front of him.

He wasn’t going to do anything. He was sober enough for that. He reminded himself she was upset, she was drunk.

But it wasn’t him who made the first move.

Sofia suddenly bridged the gap, pressing her brine coated lips against his, kissing him until she was out of breath– that’s when she parted from him, shaking her head and covering her mouth.

“I’m so sorry–“

Barry was quick to shut her up, “don’t be,” he drawled, before hooking his lips with hers yet again, but this time on his terms.

His coarse fingertips, weathered by years of manual labour and lighter burns, gripped her silky roots. He groaned into her mouth, revelling in the sensation of her warm hands travelling up his shirt, pressing firm on the planes of his abdomen.

His arms travelled around her waist, hoisting her up as he stood on his feet, carrying her body weight easily.

Sofia gasped against his mouth, her soft, pliant lips brushing against his stubble, “you ok?” He murmured, holding her tighter.

She nodded, looking down at him with a hazy stare.

“Use your words darlin’.”

Sofia pressed a soft kiss against his lips, “yes.”

They eventually ended up in his room, Sofia sprawled underneath him, her jeans discarded on the floor, her shirt pulled up revealing her milky ribs.

“You sure about this Sofia?” He forewarned, holding himself up on his elbow, that caged her small and lithe body in between his.

She nodded, Barry tilting his head to the side, eyebrows cinching at her silence.

Sofia giggled, pulling him down closer, “yes I’m sure Barry– there, that enough words for you?”

“Perfect,” he mused, capturing her in yet another kiss, letting his hands slip further down her feather-soft skin, feeling himself melt at all the sounds he drew out of her plush, pink lips.

***

They lay on either side of the bed after they fucked, the sheets messily sprawled over their naked bodies.

Barry reached over to the bedside table, pulling out a pre-rolled joint and a lighter, before sitting up against the headboard. Sofia turned her head up at him, her hair crowing her face like streaks of ebony.

“You mind?” He mumbled, joint between his lips, already about to light it.

She shook her head softly. “Go ahead.”

“You ever smoked before?”

“Once– I hated it. It made me all paranoid.”

Barry let out a little laugh, inhaling and exhaling a cloud of white smoke, “more than you already are?”

Sofia scoffed, shoving him playfull from across the bed.

They settled into a comfortable silence.

Barry glanced over at her, seeing the glint of gold on her bare décolleté. He recalled the necklace swing between them like a pendulum as she writhed atop of him. Seeing it more clearly now, Barry realised it was a cross.

“You religious?”

Sofia followed his gaze to her chest, “My mom told me to wear it– she said it’ll keep the bad spirits away since I wasn't acting like myself apparently. What about you?”

Barry blew another hazy sheet of smoke, “I’m Italian– whole family’s Catholic, so I know my stuff.”

“Same– Mexican mom’s don’t play when it comes to brujería.”

Barry recalled the Cross of Santo Domingo. There had always been a festering guilt inside him about that, seeing it desecrated. He wondered how Sofia would feel knowing Rafe destroyed a religious relic– how faithless that boy really was, how much bad juju he had brought unto himself.

“What has Rafe told you then?” Barry asked abruptly. He could tell Sofia was taken aback with the way she broke eye contact with him and shuffled about in the sheets.

Barry kept up his stare. “You can tell me.”

“He told me about the drugs.” She mentioned quietly, her fingers reaching to the golden cross between her breasts. “And how you used to sell them to him.”

“And what d’you make of that?”

Sofia shrugged, “he said he was clean.”

“No. What d’you make of me– not him.”

Sofia licked her lips, inhaling slightly, “I kinda already knew. I had a couple older friends when I was in high school who used to buy weed from you.”

“Not very Catholic of me, is it?”

Sofia breathed out a laugh, ”no– but we're all human. We all make mistakes.”

“So then why are you beatin’ yourself up about your mistake.”

Sofia was quiet at that. He saw that she began to gnaw at her bottom lip again, turning her head slightly from his unwavering stare that she could surely feel.

“What you’ve done is nothing. Rafe’s done worse– hell, I’ve done worse. You gotta give yourself grace.”

“I don’t–” her words caught in her throat, a single tear running down the side of her face, “I was the one who ruined it all.”

Barry inhaled, deep and slow, white smoke billowing from his pursed lips up into the dusky room, “He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. Forgive yourself Sofia. That’s what we all do.”

How was he supposed to divulge all of his sins, all of Rafe’s sins too? The dark, sordid stains in her ex-fiancés life that she had no fucking idea about. Barry found himself wanting to confess them all, his and Rafe’s, at the prospect it would make Sofia absolve herself from hers– seeing her impiety thwarted in the face of their misdemeanours.

She didn’t answer him, her teeth clasped viciously on the soft flesh of her lips and her fingers rubbing the metal crucifix across her collarbone. Barry put out the joint on the ashtray beside him, gently turning her face towards his with an extended hand. He brushed his weed-stained fingers over her red, abraded lips.

“Stop that.” He slunk his body down, his arm reaching over her recumbent body. “If you miss him so much, I’m tellin’ you, he’ll come crawlin’ to you soon enough. He’s like a kicked dog– he’ll always come back, tail between his legs and all.”

“How do you know that?” She simpered, gazing up at him as he hovered over her. Barry shamelessly took her in– her wide, honey eyes, her pouting lips, her freckled skin.

“I’ve hurt him too. Sold him out for money. Then he asked me to be his business partner so it worked out in the end I’d say.”

Sofia sniffed, her bottom lip grazing his thumb.

“Ok,” she simply murmured, her fingers slipping from the cross to his face, smiling sadly as she leaned up and brushed a chaste kiss atop his lips.

Barry’s face scrunched in a confused smile. “Ok– what?”

“Ok I’ll listen to you.”

“And stop worrying so much?”

Sofia nodded, her eyes fluttering shut, “yes. Make my peace with it.”

“Good girl.”

She hummed in amusement, eyes still shut.

“You tired?” He whispered, fingers carding through her hair. She let out an airy, “yeah.”

Barry hated how intimate this had become. How open and raw. Their breaths intermingling, their chests pressed against each other, the thuds of their hearts nearly synchronised. When they fucked it was all heady pleasure, carnal distraction. And now he was studying the planes of her face, wondering if Rafe just fucked her or made love to her? And how it felt to have someone as pure as Sofia pour all her affection into you?

He moved off her quickly, swinging his legs off the bed.

“Where are you going?” She asked, half sitting up in bed. Her hair was tousled around her flushed face, the bedsheet barely slipping over her curves.

Barry pulled on his jeans, grabbing the lighter from the bedside. “To smoke outside.”

“You can smoke here, I told you I don’t mind.” It's like she didn’t want him to leave and that made Barry even more eager to go.

“I thought weed made you paranoid? Wouldn’t want that now– just after you’ve mellowed out, do we?” He teased, flashing her his gold tooth in the semi-darkness.

She laughed softly, “ok. Be back soon.”

He left for a while, wanting to make sure she was knocked out and when he returned, Sofia was curled up in bed, fast asleep.

Barry sat down, the bed dipping with his weight, but she didn’t stir. He sighed deeply, running a hand down his wearied face.

He slept on the couch that night, trying to wean himself off her presence that seemed to quickly consume him.

He understood Rafe a bit better now– understood why he became obsessed with Sofia so quickly.

She had a way of making you feel light and untethered. You only exist in the now, and the shitty mistakes of your past ceased to exist.

Fuck.

Barry did what he always did when he got too close to someone. He pretended like nothing happened.

He made her breakfast in the morning, but he shied away from her touch, sitting across from her on the kitchen table.

They worked together at the pawn shop. The first couple times Sofia tried to initiate the same level of intimacy from that night, Barry chuckled lowly, redirecting her kisses to his stubbled cheek. She pulled back with a frown, arms still anchored around his neck.

He’d shrugged off her caress, ruffling a hand through her hair and looking down at her short frame. “You heard what Alice said– no fuckin’ around, kid.”

Sofia’s face ruptured in confusion at his sudden change up. She’d avoided him after that for a while, swinging from anger to sadness, from hateful glares to contemplative frowns. But soon enough she came round to it and accepted a friendship–rather than a messy in-between thing of hookups and the undefined.

It was for the better.

She’d already fucked things up with Rafe. Barry wasn’t going to hurt her. Or get hurt by her too.

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