Bartoned - Chapter 40
Bartoned - A Hawkeye Fanfic
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Buy me a ☕ Rating: E
Warnings: nothing really
Pairing: Clint Barton x F!Reader
Word Count: 3627
Summary: Clint’s name has become synonymous with fucking things up. When you have a one night stand with him, your whole life gets Bartoned.
A/N: Lyrics to the song; Marry You by Bruno Mars and an extract from ‘How falling in love is like owning a dog’ by Taylor Mali.
Chapter 40
You woke at five to your alarm, hungover, still exhausted, and regretting all your life choices. Clint started to push you using his knees, edging you to the side of the bed. You groaned, turned off the alarm, and sat up. “Fuck this,” you complained. “You sure we still have to get married?”
“Yes,” Clint mumbled. “You’re the one that had to have the D last night. Go. Get ready.”
You rubbed your eyes and dragged yourself out of bed and into the shower. When you got out, Clint was deep asleep again, his mouth hanging open, looking much like his daughter. You dressed in sweats and headed out still feeling nauseated and exhausted. Kari was dragging herself up the path of your house as you stepped outside looking just as miserable as you felt. “Hope it was worth it,” she teased.
“I don’t remember,” you grumbled.
“Alright, come on. I ordered a car so we can sleep in the back,” she said.
You did fall quickly to sleep in the back of the car only to be shaken awake again when you arrived at the hairdresser.
The next few hours were a complete whirlwind. You were given your first glass of champagne while they were doing your hair and it wasn’t until you were on your third at the hotel getting your makeup done that you remembered you hadn’t eaten yet.
Wanda arrived with Nattie at 11, both with their hair already set and you ordered room service and had lunch before you got dressed.
By the time you put on your dress, you weren’t feeling hungover, though you might have moved past exhausted to tipsy and a little bit loopy. You came out of the bedroom in your dress with your blue butterfly mask in your hand and Wanda squeaked. “Oh my god! You look like a fairy queen.”
“Mama… mama…” Nattie said toddling over, putting her hands on your skirt, and making cooing sounds. She was wearing a cute little purple gown with matching feathered wings and a filigree mask.
“You look beautiful,” Kari agreed as the photographer took photos of you and Nattie. “Are you ready to become Ms. Barton?”
“Yeah. I guess I am,” you said and Wanda handed you your bouquet of blue and purple orchids.
You went downstairs to where your limo was waiting and it was a short drive to the Brooklyn Grange. You got out and put on your masks. Kari and Wanda straightened out your skirts and checked your hair before heading up the stairs. Barney was waiting at the door to the roof and he gave Nattie the little teddy bear with the rings attached. While you were still hidden from view, you could see the crowd waiting for you. The aisle was set up between the garden beds with a long purple carpet and the guests stood in the gaps on either side. Down the length of the carpet were small jack-o’ lanterns and the garden was full of sunflowers. Clint stood by the edge of the roof with the celebrant, Natasha, and Kate. He wore a long velvet coat in purple over a black vest and dress pants. The vest had a strip of purple embroidery from the neck down to the hem and matched the purple of his tie. His mask was shaped like a hawk and in purple and black.
“You ready, Nattie?” Barney asked.
“Umm…” she said, looking around, obviously not sure what was happening, and looking up at Barney in his red suit and a simple red mask.
“You follow me, okay, kiddo? Go right up to your dad,” he said and gave a signal to the band.
A beat started that was not anything like the song you had agreed to walk down the aisle to and you looked at Kari confused. “Just watch,” she said.
Barney danced his way to the end of the aisle where all Clint’s and your friends and family were sitting and Bobbi got up and met him at the end. Then Clint began to sing.
“It’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something dumb to do, hey baby, I think I’m gonna marry you,” he sang as Bobbi and Barney did an elaborate dance routine down the aisle that included flips, cartwheels, and a part where Barney lifted Bobbi off the ground and spun her.
“Oh my god,” you said laughing. “This is what you’ve all been up to. You nerds.”
“Is it the look in your eyes, or is it this dancing juice? Who cares, baby? I think I want to marry you.”
Nattie charged down after them when she reached the aisle she began to bob and clap her hands as she watched her uncle dance with Bobbi.
“Well I know this little chapel on the boulevard, we can go, no one will no… come on girl.”
When Bobbi and Barney returned to their spots Clint danced down the aisle to meet his daughter. He kneeled down like he was serenading her and she rushed into his arms.
“Who cares if we’re trashed? Got a pocket full of cash. We can blow… shots of patron, and it’s on, girl…”
He picked her up and began to dance with her as he held her back down the aisle.
“This is so cheesy,” you said, though you couldn’t stop grinning.
“The song choice fits you two though,” Kari teased. “You gotta admit.”
“See you down there,” Wanda said, giving your arm a squeeze.
“Don’t say no, no, no, no. Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we’ll go, go, go, go, go. If you’re ready, like I’m ready.”
She crouched down walking to the beat of the music and clicking her fingers as she approached the aisle. Sam stepped out into the aisle facing her in the same position.
“I hate how I have to go after her. Her bit is so much more impressive than mine,” Kari complained, but she kept her eyes on her wife, the look of both complete love and awe etched on her features.
“At least you’ve choreographed,” you teased. “I’m the bride and I have no idea what is going on right now.”
“‘Cause it’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something dumb to do. Hey, baby, I think I wanna marry you.”
Wanda took off in a bright pink ball of light, using her powers to float down to Sam. He caught her around the waist and the two spun up into the air above everyone.
“Is it the look in your eyes? Or is it this dancing juice? Who cares, baby? I think I wanna marry you.”
They landed and Sam spun and dipped her before returning to his spot. Rhodey stepped out and spun Wanda into his arms, her powers flared out again and the two of them moved down the aisle spinning in the air like they were waltzing.
“Wait for Nat,” Kari said.
“Oh, I’ll go get a ring, let the choir bells sing, like oohh. Whatya wanna do? Let’s run girl.”
You gave her a nod and she kissed your cheek before moving out in that same couched move, clicking her fingers as she approached the aisle.
“If you wake up and you wanna break up, that’s cool. No, I won’t blame you. It was fun, girl.”
Steve and Bucky met her at the end of the aisle mimicking her moves. She ran to them and held out her arms. They lifted her and ran halfway down the aisle, before setting her to her feet and swing dancing with her in the middle of the floor. Spinning her from one partner to another.
They lifted her again and passed her to Tony and Bruce who stood another quarter of the way down and they carried her to the end of the aisle, spinning her between them before she took her spot next to Wanda.
“Don’t say no, no, no, no, no. Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we’ll go, go, go, go. If you’re ready, like I’m ready,” Clint sang as he carried Nattie back down the aisle.
Wanda, Kari, Natasha, and Kate all ran around the outside of the guest. Bobbi, Barney, Tony, Sam, Steve, Bruce, Bucky, and all the kids took after them as Rhodey moved down to the very end of the aisle.
“‘Cause it’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something dumb to do. Hey, baby, I think I wanna marry you. Is it the look in your eyes? Or is it this dancing juice? Who cares, baby? I think I wanna marry you?”
The whole group danced down the aisle positioning themselves at various intervals down the aisle as Clint backed his way to the end again as he sang.
“Just say I do. Tell me right now, baby. Tell me right now, baby, baby.”
Natasha came over and offered you her arm. You linked yours with her and tried to match the little groove she did as she moved to the end of the aisle.
“Just say I do. Tell me right now, baby. Tell me right now, baby, baby. Oh!”
She kissed your cheek and added a purple feather with a gold arrow painted on it to your bouquet.
Rhodey beckoned you to him doing a side-to-side groove and then repeated the kiss and addition of a feather to your bouquet. All the way down, the process was repeated again and again with different dance moves. Steve spun and dipped you. Bucky lifted you and twirled with you above his head. Tony did the chicken. When you reached Clint, the band dropped out and he took your hand and sang directly to you.
“It’s a beautiful night. We’re looking for something dumb to do. Hey, baby. I think I wanna marry you. Is it the look in your eye? Or is this dancing juice? Who cares, baby? I think I wanna marry you.”
Tears pricked your eyes but you couldn’t stop grinning at your dork. You leaned your forehead against his, your masks making a soft tap as they touched. “You nerd,” you whispered.
He chuckled. “I’m not the one crying right now.”
“Friends and loved ones,” the celebrant announced. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of these two people. A couple who for all intents and purposes did everything in the wrong order. And yet, here they are, standing in front of all of you, declaring that they are each other’s chosen person.
“This is not a union that should be entered lightly. It is not made simply by a legal contract between two people, but by love, respect, trust, and support. A good marriage is not made by a wedding but by those simple quiet moments, like holding hands when no one is around, and laughing at the ridiculous joke you share.
“In that spirit, Clint’s brother Barney will be reading ‘How falling in love is like owning a dog’ by Taylor Mali.”
Barney stepped up and cleared his throat. “On cold winter nights, love is warm. It lies between you and lives and breathes and makes funny noises. Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs. It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy. Love doesn’t like being left alone for long. But come home and love is always happy to see you. It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life, but you can never be mad at love for long. Is love good all the time? No! No! Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love. Love makes messes. Love leaves you little surprises here and there. Love needs lots of cleaning up after. Sometimes you just want to get love fixed. Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper and swat love on the nose, not so much to cause pain, just to let love know, ‘Don’t you ever do that again!’ Sometimes love just wants to go out for a nice long walk. Because love loves exercise. It will run you around the block and leave you panting, breathless. Pull you in different directions at once, or wind itself around and around you until you’re all wound up and you cannot move. But love makes you meet people wherever you go. People who have nothing in common but love stop and talk to each other on the street. Throw things away and love will bring them back, again, and again, and again. But most of all, love needs love, lots of it. And in return, love loves you and never stops.”
He returned to his place in the crowd and you grinned at Clint.
“We have now reached the point in the ceremony where our couple shall read their vows to each other,” the celebrant announced.
“I take you to be my wife,” Clint said. “I promise that you will always be my home. The person who I return to. The person I prioritize. My best friend and my lover. You will always have my trust, my support, and my heart. But most of all, I promise that when I freak out about stuff, I’ll talk it out with you.”
You smiled and squeezed his hand. “I take you to be my husband. I promise that you will always be my home. The person who I return to. The person I prioritize. My best friend and my lover. You will always have my trust, my support, and my heart. But most of all, I promise that I make sure I tell you exactly how I’m feeling so neither of us has to freak out.”
“May I have the rings please?” The celebrant asked.
Natasha took the bear of Nattie who was sitting on the ground playing with a sunflower. She untied the rings and put the bear back on the ground next to Nattie again. Yours was white gold and shaped like an arrow on the top so it would point inward and your engagement ring would sit against your engagement ring. Clint’s was white gold with a band of yellow gold in the middle shaped like an arrow.
“Please repeat after me;” the celebrant said. “I give you this ring as a symbol of my unbroken connection to you.”
You each slid the rings into place repeating the words the celebrant said.
“Now by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss each other,” the celebrant announced.
After the ceremony, there was the official paperwork to sign and photos to take. Clint kept looking over wistfully at the waiters handing out little paddles with mini burgers and tiny glasses of beer and mini pizzas until Natasha went and got him some and he ate them while you were setting up for a group shot looking over the water. The band played soft jazz as the guests waited for you and Clint to join them.
When you were finally done you wandered down to the covered area where several long tables had been set up under the canopy. The tables were decorated with pumpkins and candles, and long dark purple runners and paper lanterns hung from the roof. A long table ran down the wall where the different food stations would end up being set up, and right in the middle was the huge stack of donuts glazed in different shades of purple.
Steve got up to the mic and tapped it a few times before clearing his throat. He was wearing a long blue coat and a Venetian-style mask in blue and silver. “If everyone would go to their seats,” he said. Everyone moved to their allocated spot, though no one took their seats. All the kids were together nearest the dance floor, though Doreen was holding Nattie. “Our backward couple have all taken a strange road to get here, but here they are. So if you’d all welcome for the very first time, Mr. and Ms. Barton.”
You and Clint walked down the middle of the tables to applause and the band started playing ‘Are you gonna be my girl’ by Jet. Clint began to dance around you doing the well-rehearsed jive moves you’d both been working on. When the riff changed he spun you into his arms, so your back was to his and the two of you moved together, your feet matching each other’s steps as you moved forward. Nattie toddled out onto the dance floor and Clint spun you again picking her up as you twirled, the butterfly wings that made up your skirt flare out. He grabbed your hand and started to run. You grabbed Natasha’s hand and she grabbed Wanda’s, and so on, and so on until most of the wedding guests were running in a chain to the music, around the tables, winding in and out of each other, up and down the garden beds. You couldn’t stop laughing and you soon became breathless and giddily happy seeing so many people joining in on the ridiculous but fun first dance you’d both chosen that drew in everyone important to you both.
When the music stopped you took your seats again. Steve returned to the microphone and looked around. The buffet tables were set up with a pizza station with several different options of pizza, a salad bar, and a few other options for people who weren’t huge fans of pizza. “It looks like the first courses are ready. Let’s not rush them though. Wedding party first, then we’ll start from this table -” he pointed to the one furthest from the buffet. “- and move in.”
You got up with Clint and got yourself a small selection of things before taking a seat. Nattie came and sat on Clint’s lap and stole pieces of pizza toppings off his pizza as you ate. “This is good, isn’t it?” you said. “Fun.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “Everyone seems to be having a good time. And I’m eating pizza with my favorite people. Can’t get better than that.”
“Your favorite people?” you asked. “Which ones?”
“Well,” he teased. “I think Nattie here is pretty great.”
“That’s true,” you agreed.
“Natasha, Katie,” he added.
You giggled and stuck out your bottom lip.
“Steve is alright when he’s not busting my ass,” Clint continued.
“I like it when he busts your ass,” you teased.
He laughed and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. “You’re my favorite,” he said and kissed you.
There was a clinking on glass and you looked up to see Natasha standing. “I’ve been told by Mr. Bossy over there that now is the time for speeches,” she said, tilting her glass towards Steve. “Most of you have heard the term ‘Bartoned’. When you Barton, you’ve really messed things up. Often there’s an injury. Regularly it needs stitches or a cast. Clint Barton is such a human disaster that you just mention his name and people look around to see what’s gone wrong.” There was laughter in the crowd and Clint blushed a little.
“I have known Clint a long, long… long… time. I was in trouble when we met. My past isn’t exactly squeaky clean and, well, Clint had been sent to take care of me.” She chose her words carefully due to the large number of children that were at the wedding. “He did take care of me but not in the way he was meant to. He became my best friend. I’ve been by his side through good times and bad times. New friendships and broken marriages. Eating cold pizza on the couch and fighting off alien attacks,” she said and there was more laughter. “For quite a while Clint and Tony had been competing for the attention of a certain EMT that kept showing up at incidents in the city. Clint … for god knows what reason … won the battle for the fair lady’s heart. Well, just like Clint, he Bartoned it good. Instead of the casual friends-with-benefits arrangement, he was hoping for they ended up neither as friends nor there being any benefits and there was a baby on the way. But as well as being a complete disaster, Clint has a way of not just seeing the best in people, but drawing out the best in people. He’s still friends with all his exes. He collects random strays. There was no way he would ever let that situation stay broken. So maybe we’ve been using the term Bartoned wrong this whole time. Maybe Bartoning isn’t messing up bad. It’s having something be messed up but seeing the good in it and making it something good. Because here we have a situation right now where Clint has gotten a crush on someone, knocked them up, pushed them away, and yet still has managed to have one of the most wonderful relationships I’ve ever seen. She has been Bartoned in every sense of the term. The brand new Ms. Barton. I am so, so happy for them. I love them both so much and I’m so happy they worked this out and realized how good they are for each other. So I ask you all now, to raise your glasses to them at the start of this new chapter of their lives and to toast to getting Bartoned.”
You looked at Clint smiling and he leaned in and kissed you just as everyone held up their glasses and cheered; ‘Bartoned’.
~ END ~