#bastard iii

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Papa III came all the way to Germany just to flex with his Grammy 💪😤 I’m boutta knock him out with it

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“You guys wanna hear Mo Bamba or Sicko Mode?”

-Papa Emeritus III

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how did swiss react to finding out that he actually drank papa’s ashes instead of chocolate milk powder like he thought 👀

I’m going to summarize it with bullet points:

The Ghoulettes were the ones that told him because everyone else wanted to see him drink the rest of it [Ghouls don’t have boundaries when it comes to pranks I’m being real with you. I also didn’t have the heart to tell him either.]

He immediately felt sick to his stomach and rushed to get it out of his system, but after that he started panicking and apologizing to the vase whilst the Ghouls laughed their asses off in the background. [He won’t go within 20 feet of it now, which is great blackmail material for the other Ghouls and Ghoulettes.]

He’s been feeling sick for the past few days because he keeps thinking about it, so I told the Ghoulettes to make sure he’s been eating properly and also to give him some support.

The other Ghouls [Especially Aether and Dewdrop] keep making jokes that he’s been possessed by Papa III because his spirit must be mad that Swiss drank his ashes, which makes him even more terrified.

Swiss is just scared out of his mind and he’s really paranoid right now, so I’m probably going to have to talk to the other Ghouls about their jokes.

But don’t worry, he’ll be okay eventually.

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Good morning Cardinal! Have you ever witnessed the Papas struggling with modern technology? Especially Papa I, he is so devoted to books...

Ah, good morning! Also I absolutely love this question, because they do actually struggle with technology and it’s so hilarious to see! 

Let me tell you something, all the Papas do have to have the mainstream social media [whether they use it or not doesn’t matter, Sister Imperator thought it would just be a good way to connect with our more younger followers] and they know how to use phones to some extent?? Oh yeah, and don’t even get me started on the whole gloves thing, it’s funny watching them forget and see them tapping at the screen rapidly. As for laptops, I know Papa I doesn’t even go near the stuff.

More details here:

Papa I

He’s an Android user, he just doesn’t get the hype for Apple. [Of course he has the latest version, Papa III says his brothers need to “flex” on the rest of the clergy and it’s so-]

He rarely uses his phone and barely even touches social media.

He does slowly text his brothers if they send him something, but also I do get texts from him with memes he thinks are funny [To him, that is. But I play nice]. 

Papa III got the hang of phones pretty quickly, so he does help Papa I whenever he needs it. If Papa III is busy, he just asks a ghoul or clergy member for help.

He’s very patient though, so he doesn’t get frustrated with modern technology.

He knows the basics like texting and calling, but any part of social media is confusing and he doesn’t understand it. Facebook is easy to understand, but he’d rather not go on there if he can just literally “Have his face in a book”. 

But if you try explaining more technology beyond laptops and phones [Like VR headsets or some shit] then he’ll definitely feel overwhelmed. 

Papa II:

Was a Samsung user, but Papa III forced him to switch to Apple.

Also has a laptop for eh, “professional use”, as he tells me. 

At first he did get frustrated, saying shit like “I don’t get you kids with these useless bricks, these are such a waste of time and money.” Until Papa III told him to get social media.

Papa III and him may be the same age, but III definitely got into phones sooner than Papa II. So, he basically just taught everything he knew to Papa II and now they’re around the same level of knowledge [Internet-wise, he does get some memes but stays off that shit for the most part].

At first he was barely active on social media, but he felt like he was missing out so he did force himself to get the hang of social media. 

Now he’s pretty active on instagram and snapchat, but he doesn’t talk to anyone and just posts on his stories of the latest party he’s at or the dates with his newest eye candy. Have you ever been left on read? Message Papa II, if you want to know what that’s like. Just kidding, he replies most of the time but he’s really not much to drag out long conversations. [Most of the conversations I have with him are pretty brief.]

Has a facebook, but doesn’t use it. Most of the shit on there’s boring, so I understand. But I do see him check the fan pages for the band every now and then.

You know those phone screens where you can’t see what’s on it if you’re at a different angle? He has one of those, so the rest of the shit he does is a mystery. 

It took him a bit longer than Papa III, but he does understand the ins and outs of phones, laptops are easier to understand as well so he does know how to use modern technology. 

Papa III:

Oh boy, you should’ve seen him at first. 

Getting frustrated, cursing and saying “These stupid things-” and tapping rapidly at the screen. 

He does attract mostly younger people in the clergy though, so they were quick to show him all that he needed to know about phones.

Then less than a week later, he was suddenly a fucking pro at using phones? [Tech support who? Naw, we got Papa III it’s all good.]

He’s extremely active on social media and I don’t know how he keeps up with all of that because his phone is always blowing up with notifications [He doesn’t want to turn off notifications for either and it’s pretty annoying when he forgets to turn off his ringer].

As for computers, he has a pretty nice set-up [Again with the flexing, I hate him so much like- wow your Daddy’s gonna run out of money if you keep spending it like that].

But I think it’s mostly just for looks, as far as I know he mostly just uses his phone. 

So short answer is, he keeps up with the times and that’s actually a good thing for a person with his rank in the church! 

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Hi Cardinal! I was wondering, if you had to go gay for the any of the papas, which would you choose? Much love 🐀🐁 -💙

Oh boy, this question had to be asked sooner or later I assume. I hate them a lot though [not really], but if I absolutely HAD to..I’d pick..

Well, let me examine the options first. Also Papa Nihil is not going to be part of this, he’s my boss and I for one only see him at a professional standpoint! Also, scroll all the way down for the short answer 👀

Papa I:

Incredibly nice, also has a very gentle demeanor when he’s in the church.

Though he’s very devoted to religion [As any Papa should be, *Looks over to the other two Papas*] And I do feel like he wouldn’t be looking for any sort of relationship at the moment, as I do know religion is his #1 priority at this point in his life.

Even if I am as devoted to Satanism as he is, it’s not the only thing I want going on with my life. So with him, it would be a hard no.

 As far as Satanism goes, we wouldn’t have anything else in common and our personalities wouldn’t exactly click, you know?

Papa II:

He’s a big scary and grumpy man, I hate him so much.

Not only that, but he definitely parties more than he works, it’s such a shame that the title of Papa was wasted on him. [Though, I do believe he drinks and parties to distract himself from something, just not sure what.]

Even so, he’s definitely someone I wouldn’t want to be with. He’s so-Well there’s something about him that I don’t like. He makes snarky comments all the time and the only reason he hasn’t been fought yet is because he’s too scary to fight in the first place.

It’s just, there’s a time when he says too much, you know? He doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up and I don’t think there will be a time where someone teaches him to.

He’d probably be a big hassle to deal with, as he always is on the daily.

Papa III:

Just as snarky as his brother, if not more.

Though, that could be because his personality is a bit sassy. He tries to be charming to everyone, but his personality just seeps out sometimes and he might say something insensitive. If he notices it was too mean, he’ll probably apologize.

He’s a lot more devoted to the Papa position than Papa II, which also makes him quite a good Papa. He’s made it far and he really gave the Emeritus bloodline a good name.

As flirty as he is onstage, that’s not the only reason why he has so many admirers in the clergy. Those who know him see that he’s really devoted to being a good Papa. He’s smart and studies a lot, he works hard, and his performances are near flawless [besides the times he falls, that is]. And let’s be honest, people that have a passion in life are attractive. [That goes for everybody.]

But his flirty personality does get fucking annoying sometimes. Like dude, stop for a bit and take me seriously for a second.

However, if I did get to know what Papa II or III were really like when they’re not hoes  behind the scenes, I think it’d be nice to be gay for either of them.

But to break it to you, all of the Papas and I see each other on a professional standpoint. Everyone in the Senior Clergy should see each other as only that, since we are public figures for a church. There are just boundaries, we’re trying to be a good influence on our followers rather than having to focus on each other. Take it as a couple of teachers- We wouldn’t want to be focusing on our co-workers, since we all have the same goal to guide our students and we are all busy trying to achieve that. It’s not like we’re being forced to not think about each other in that way, it’s more like a personal thing we all understand. Besides, there are a lot fish in the sea, eh?

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Observations about Papa III

It may be a surprise, but Papa III actually has some level of social anxiety, though it’s not as severe as mine and Papa I’s. 

P.3 may seem like an extrovert, but only because he knows how much someone of his position requires a good reputation and that impressions matter regarding our followers [albeit, anyone with that position would feel any form of pressure]. 

It’s all just for show, but he’s honestly pretty socially awkward when he’s not with his brothers. 

He doesn’t like crowds, yet it seems he attracts them quite often. As soon as he slips away, he needs time alone to recharge so that he can keep up his appearances. 

He can speak just fine one-on-one, but sometimes he just doesn’t know what to say and ends up butchering his words. I understand that because everything feels so vulnerable when I’m alone with someone. 

I feel bad for him, sometimes I catch him asking one of his siblings for advice on how to talk to some of the brothers and sisters of sin. [But what can I say, I need advice as well sometimes. It’s always tough trying to connect with everyone in order to help them with their needs.]

He looks up to his siblings more than he would like to admit/show, and tries to follow in their footsteps in order to be a good Papa. Papa I and Papa II don’t know it, but they have the greatest influence on him and it matters a lot. 

Because of this, he was able to develop his own on-stage personality that soon melded into his actual self. P.3 is at his best when he’s on stage and there’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to hold back, since there are actually people that want to see you perform. 

As much as I hate him, I noticed that he’s driven with determination and that he really puts more effort into contributing to the church than his brothers. His soul is eager for him to be as good as them, possibly even better than they were. He’s the last of their bloodline, and he’s going to show the world that the best is always saved for last.

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Every so often I think of that compilation of Papa III falling and start laughing to myself

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I killed the Papas to assert dominance