My body is rebelling today
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My body is rebelling today
Silencer
My company had its employees work remotely for much of the pandemic. In June, with the widespread availability of vaccines and the dropping infection rate, we were recalled to the main office.
This was, personally, a terrifying prospect; for I had left the office a Lawrence, and returned as Lauren. Acceptance of my transition was overwhelmingly positive; but such events took place during the remote work era.
Put simply: in-person is a different matter.
Put bluntly: I was deeply frightened of now having to share a bathroom with my cis female coworkers; and how they might react to my presence.
For weeks and weeks post-recall, I tried to time my bathroom breaks in such a way that I never interacted with another employee. I wouldn’t enter the restroom if it was occupied; I would hide in my stall if others should enter the space.
Eventually the inevitable occurred, and I crossed paths with my coworkers. Some were obviously surprised at my (wholly logical) presence; but remained true to their word on embracing the new me.
I’m not sure I will ever quite shake the fear of a bathroom interaction gone bad; but for now, matters are manageable.
This does however bring me to a wholly unexpected observation, and the title of this post.
It’s a multi-stall bathroom. There were times where cis-women were present, and using a stall for one of its many intended purposes: peeing. Not just peeing, but peeing loudly. It was if someone had turned the spigot on a hose pipe!
The difference was only noticeable because I had, at times, found myself also trying to pee; and as stealthily as possible at that. Where theirs was a torrential downpour, mine was but an imperceptible and gentle stream.
It was in one of these strange moments of comparison that it occurred to me that I was capable of such feats - and they were not - because, anatomically-speaking, I am currently equipped with a silencer... And this metaphor has not left me since!
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On an overly exuberant toilet...
On an overly exuberant toilet…
I hate overly exuberant auto-flushing toilets. While attending a conference this week, I used my 15-minute breaks between workshops to use the bathroom and find the one water station destined to serve the thousands in attendance, lugging my suitcase with me because the conference refused to check bags on the second day though it had the first. (I had arrived from the airport to go straight to…
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One of the struggles of being constantly sick: Taking a slightly longer time than other people to use the toilet and the restroom motion sensor lights go off.
Nancy Drew in: How Many Times Can I Pee Before My Guests Think I'm Weird