Jiirah's Nerd Space

I'm a late-twenties female who loved all things nerdy so much that I decided to major in computer geekiness. I will dump random things from the internet here, so that I don't lose them. I will also post things related to my artwork, video games, and programming.

[trinketgeek]

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Update: my posts are all back. I’m not sure if how many other SFW blogs lost their posts, but they’ll probably be back soon. Still, be sure to back up your posts though no matter what kind of blog you have, it’s better to be safe than sorry!

1. Click account button (top right of screen)

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[nidoqueen]

[ruby-white-rabbit]

There’s a turtle in my yard laying eggs

This bitch really gonna dump her kids on me and vamoose

I’m not ready to be a single mom

I know shit about reptiles

[ruby-white-rabbit]

I had to put a stick next to the nest because she decided the MIDDLE of our yard was the primo spot to give birth

Mowing is gonna be interesting this summer

[ruby-white-rabbit]

Meet the mother leaving her wildlife progeny under my city girl care

[ruby-white-rabbit]

I’m googling turtles right now. I sent photos to my southern stepmom for help. Apparently she’s a box turtle?

[ruby-white-rabbit]

70 DAYS UNTIL THEY HATCH??

[timesalad]

You a mom now

[ruby-white-rabbit]

Text from stepmom “watch out for foxes, cranes, raccoons, and snakes. They’ll eat the eggs so chase them off”

I’m gonna fistfight nature

[ruby-white-rabbit]

@mrswinterbarnes you’re not wrong. When I came back from closing the barn doors she was gone. Nowhere in sight. I thought turtles were supposed to be slow

I was gone maybe ten minutes so first off, not even a goodbye??

[mrswinterbarnes]

I don’t think Box turtles return to their nest either, so until they hatch and dig out

YOU GONNA BE A MOMMA

[ruby-white-rabbit]

DAMN IT SHARRON

First that bird makes its nursery in my bike basket on our porch and now this

Why am I becoming a wildlife nanny??

[ruby-white-rabbit]

UPDATE

SHES BACK

[ruby-white-rabbit]

NEVERMIND

ITS A DIFFERENT TURTLE

That’s two deadbeat turtle moms dropping their spawn on me

[odinspattern]

Call this one Susan

[smalltall]

You’re like a really ticked-off nature witch who never signed up for this animal empath shit

[retrogamingblog]

NES Cartridge Nintendo Switch Game Cases made by saybobby

[rainyazurehoodie]

Thus Super Crown Kirby was born and chaos spread. That’s it

[presidentialpostings]

@officialfist help us

[yourplayersaidwhat]

The Quickest Way to End a Campaign

Context: I was a half-elf bard in a campaign in high school and after 4 sessions I singlehandedly ended the campaign in one move.

DM: You encounter a large fountain that is full of eldritch magic. Upon testing, you can only place your hands and feet in the sacred water, as it purifies only those parts. You can drink it to cure any ailments and purify your soul.

Me: Hmmmm…this is a great time to do laundry! I toss my drawers into the fountain.

DM: You what.

Me: My underwear. I toss it into the fountain.

DM: I…uh…*rolls dice* …well um. The Gods are mad and strike you down and… *rolls dice* …somehow destroy the world. Congrats, you’re all dead.

Friend 1: (They’re an elvish wizard polyglot) FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THE GODS YOU BLINKED THE ENTIRE WORLD OUT OF EXISTENCE WITH YOUR UNDERWEAR?

Me: Hey, they were dirty!

[updatebug]

As much as I love ‘Earth is space Australia’, I love ‘Earth is Space Australia and the aliens haven’t figured it out yet!’ far more. ‘Cause lets face it, humans have a great ability to go on and on about minor inconveniences while at the same time severely underplaying the big ones. So aliens get the impression that humans are incredibly weak because we spend a day in bed from a headache, or gripe for an hour about a paper cut and then turn around and walk on a broken leg or consider a gushing head wound nothing to worry about. 

so I want aliens to get the impression that earth is a perfectly normal place to live, a couple of dangerous fauna, maybe some troubling weather patterns but nothing too terrifying. Then an earthling makes an offhand comment about earthquakes (and the alien’s think that they are joking because the earth’s crust? moving? Ridiculous!) But another chimes in and they think that it’s just a normal thing? That happens sometimes? and then they start talking about tornadoes and what is this? 

And the weather has nothing on the animals! The aliens are used to some large toothy predators, maybe a couple of little poisonous skittering things. But large orange felines that are capable of blending effortlessly into their environment? Rodents capable of chewing through metal? Small fish that climb into your reproductive organs and cannot be removed?????? That is horrifying. Even the most innocuous of their tiny insects is capable of carrying horrendous diseases. 

Like I just want aliens standing there staring in horror as a group of earthlings casual discuss their near death escapes as though they are completely normal and nothing to worry about and slowly come to the dawning realisation that these people are insane. 

[mustard-boy-deactivated20250518]

I’m way too late to the party

But since humans are super hard to kill and try to be friends with everything, a common unspoken rule in space is that if a human is afraid, you better be pissing yourself in fear.

So the crew hears a scream from the quarters, and a crew member rushes to see what’s happening.

“Human Jane, what’s the problem? Are you hurt!?”

and she just fukin shrieks “SPIDERRRRRRR!!!!!” and everyone goes batshit insane and spiders are cataloged as extremely dangerous death creatures.

But then on another ship, a human crew member asks if they can bring a small pet, and it is approved as long as the human can prove that it’s not dangerous.

So they pull like a tarantula out of its little cage and let it crawl all over them and the other crew members stare in horror as the human just pets their eight-legged death beast and coos at it like a baby.

[bookwyrmnick]

Human Sayings are Weird

We have a lot of weird expressions.  Some are anachronistic, having come from a time and place that no longer exists, leaving us with a phrase that seems to have no context; one of these would be to “bite the bullet”, which referred to the practice of literally biting down on a bullet (or a piece of would) while someone operated on you/seared a wound shut, to keep yourself from screaming too much or biting your mouth and hurting yourself.  In an era of much more precise surgeries and anesthesia, the context no longer exists, but the phrase is still used. Then there are phrases that are deliberately hyperbolic.  “I’m going to tan your hide”. for example, is a descriptive way to tell someone you’re going to beat them, but odds are good you’re not literally going to be tanning their hide. So I was thinking that a group of enterprising aliens would form a betting pool around certain words and phrases; you can bet whether phrases are anachronistic, literal, or hyperbolic, and then the pool pays out when the phrase is confirmed one way or another.   Which brought me to an amusing little scene in my head. ———

Malchior 7 was an incredibly hostile planet.  All the local flora and fauna had self-defense features that would kill most species.  It was advised, if you were determined to visit, to wear full haz-mat suits and bring at least one human.  Most dangerous of all were the dominant species, a carnivorous form of primate with near-sapient intelligence, clever enough to use tools and form societies, but either not intelligent enough or too violent to have dialog with outside races.

So when a scouting party was ambushed by a large warband of these primates, the alien members fled in terror, only realizing about twenty paces down the path that the humans were standing and fighting.  Their hazmat suits were already ripped from the beasts’ claws, and their guns hand been knocked from their hands, but the humans still fought, wresting the primates’ weapons from their hands and turning them on their creators.  One of the humans managed to get a firm grip on the ankle of one of the beasts, and began slinging him back and forth, using the primate as a flail to slam into his cohorts.

One of the aliens let out a warble of delight, hurriedly pulling out its comm device and beginning to record, while simultaneously opening a codex page and beginning to type.

“Gor’thax, this is hardly the time!”

“You don’t understand.  I am about to make SO.  MUCH.  PROFIT.”  The alien uploaded the footage to the codex, with the title “[VIDEO PROOF - LITERAL PHRASE] “I’m going to beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker.”“

[humans-are-weird-postss-blog]

Humans are Weird- Ignoring Pain

I hit my knee against a table and it hurt like hell, but I was in a hurry so I just rubbed it off you know. While I was on my way to the beach, everyone was looking at me *btw I was panicking cause I thought I had something on my face* When I got to the beach where my friend was waiting for me, she told me my knee was bleeding *I was actually pleased it was that and not that I had something on my face lol*

Isn’t horrible when you hit your hip with the table? Or Oh, the pinky toe. That is a suffering which I don’t wish upon ANYONE.

I just can’t believe that I DIDN’T NOTICE, and then it got me thinking, how humans can ignore pain. Like it must be a survival trait we developed through our existence to survive in extreme cases. 

Just imagine aliens being like HOW THE HELL DID YOU NOT NOTICE YOU WERE BLEEDING!? and I can’t stop laughing. 

Or worse, imagine they could feel your pain in a more intense way since some of us if not most have developed to feel less pain. 

*———————*

He felt it. The sharp pain lanced through his head and colorful spots flashed in front of his four eyes. The pain spread through his body, feeling a wave of agony. Then he saw the Human.

She was biting her lips, making it look she was trying to keep a cry out. Taking a closer look, she had a nasty cut on her ankle. She shrugged it off and continued to shuffle past the crew. Terric would think she would head to the medical room, but instead she was heading the opposite direction. -She would have to take care of it before it was too late that they would have to cut it off…or even worse..that she could die- *he thought*

“Human-Sasha!” 

“Yes, Terr?” she answered him. 

“Why aren’t you heading to get medical attention?” he said concerned for her. 

Human-Sasha looked very confused, as if she had no idea what Terric meant. She had to know, right? 

“You’re bleeding!” he cried out. Scared for her survival. 

“Oh shit, I didn’t notice.” she mumbled, looking at her ankle. 

“You didn’t notice..? But didn’t it hurt?” 

“Oh it did. But I guess..how would you say it….we humans can ignore pain in some cases if our mind is somewhere else.”

“I wasn’t aware humans had superpowers…” he said in a very serious manner. 

Human-Sarah ‘laughed’ out loud, making it look she was choking. Terric would never understand how that could show amusement in their kind.

“No”-she blurted out while laughing- “I assume humans have developed over the years to withhold pain in extreme cases, to guarantee our survival.”

Terric was horrified. He would have to update the human manual. 

[impalalord]

You know, a lot of the Space Orcs posts have humans as the not-as-technologically-advanced species in the galaxy who came into whatever intergalactic government exists, but in reality humans would probably be one of the first species to achieve interstellar travel due to the fact that we have absolutely no sense of safety.

Humans say they want to go to the moon? Yeah right, they don’t even have nuclear power under control. But instead they just stick themselves in an explosive powered tube that has a computer less powerful than today’s average calculator and LAUNCH THEMSELVES INTO SPACE

The humans wanted to build a giant particle collider? Sounds good, but wait! There’s a chance that it could create a black hole, LETS DO IT ANYWAYS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS!

And how about the hydrogen bomb? Scientists thought it could LIGHT THE ATMOSPHERE ON FIRE. Did they stop? NO, THEY TESTED IT ANYWAYS

Imagine aliens going through our scientific records and realizing how little we care what negative results happen, they do stuff just to satisfy their curiosity. They threaten their very existence in the universe to answer a simple question, a question that brings fear to any non-human ears that hear it, and that question is “But why?”

[saynotodyedflowers]

So like I have one big question about human weirdness.

How did we figure out we can eat what we can eat?

Like who was the first guy to figure out if you boil those weird sea bugs (lobsters are arachnids I know i know) that runny gunk under their shells firms up and is edible? And delicious!

How many people did one village go through before they figured out which part of the pufferfish won’t kill you? And also WHY?

How much experimentation did it take to go “Okay that mushroom is really yummy and tastes like chicken and is safe but that mushroom that looks almost exactly the same will kill you dead.”   ?

Who was the first person to look at an alligator - that ancient and terrifying descendant of legit dinosaurs -and go “Imma gonna eat it!”  ?

Like how did we figure that out?

[peopleareaproblem]

concept: an alien race horrified by the idea of clothes

- You… you manifacture artificial skin? That you don over your own bodies? How utterly repulsive!!

-And instead of being rightfully ashamed of this practice you… pride yourselves on it?? You have performances dedicated to displaying weird varieties of it? You hold galas that are - for lack of a better term - ‘thinly veiled’ excuses for just such a performance?

-You try them on in specific stores and sometimes don’t buy them? YOU LEND THEM TO YOUR FRIENDS? You lend your weird fake skin to your friends???!!?

- What do you MEAN you have specifically designated sleep skin???

- An alien being forced to wear warm clothes because of the weather and begrudgingly accepting that it’s a pretty clever way of adapting to this crazy planet, THEY GUESS.

- Rebelling alien youths putting on sweaters to the absolute horror of their parents. So edgy.

[anachronic-cobra]

Alien: What are you doing?

Human, petting a cat: She’s sweet and sleepy, so I’m petting her.

Alien: But why is this other carnivore inside your home? Is it competing for territory?

Human: Lots of people have cats, they’re pets. But I mean, I’ve kind of accepted that she basically owns the place by now.

Alien: Does she serve any function for housekeeping? She seems too small the guard your home.

Human: Nah, she just naps all day mostly. She has been known to shred the furniture, though.

Alien: She provides no service and destroys your property and yet you allow her in your home anyway?! Why would y-

Cat: *starts purring and kneading paws*

Alien: *soft gasp*

[impalalord]

We abducted humans.

To be fair, we abducted members of every new race. Abduct a small percentage of the population, expose them to some galactic prisoners, and we get a good idea of what germs, diseases, and viruses will make the jump between races. Do this over the course of a [roughly equivalent to a century], and you get a good idea of what there is, how quickly it mutates, etc. You also have the time to develop vaccines for any races that might be affected by the new race (including itself- we’re not heartless).

But we underestimated humans.

It was [roughly equivalent to four decades] into our testing of humanity. We picked up a human from his transport and placed him in a containment cell. He had some nutrients with him, and we picked that up too: less we had to feed him later.

But we underestimated the resourcefulness of humans.

Something went wrong- we think it was a door malfunction- and he escaped the cell. He disabled the guards easily (we suspect they were less alert than they should have been) and took their weapons. We locked all hatches, hoping to seal him in the laboratory wing. Unfortunately, he hacked the shipboard computer, gaining control of all systems. He made his way to the bridge, where he took the captain hostage. We offered him riches, technologies beyond human understanding.

But we underestimated the stubbornness of humans.

He was paid us no mind as he wrestled with the controls, as if on some quest. He punched numbers and figures into the console, and mumbled something about ‘being lit on fire’ by a superior. He set the ship down on the other side of the city from where he was picked up and opened the doors. We braced ourselves for a military confrontation, but it seemed like we were outside another human’s abode. He jumped out, carrying the nutrients with him.

We underestimated Domino’s 30-minute or free guarantee.

[impalalord]

We abducted humans.

To be fair, we abducted members of every new race. Abduct a small percentage of the population, expose them to some galactic prisoners, and we get a good idea of what germs, diseases, and viruses will make the jump between races. Do this over the course of a [roughly equivalent to a century], and you get a good idea of what there is, how quickly it mutates, etc. You also have the time to develop vaccines for any races that might be affected by the new race (including itself- we’re not heartless).

But we underestimated humans.

It was [roughly equivalent to four decades] into our testing of humanity. We picked up a human from his transport and placed him in a containment cell. He had some nutrients with him, and we picked that up too: less we had to feed him later.

But we underestimated the resourcefulness of humans.

Something went wrong- we think it was a door malfunction- and he escaped the cell. He disabled the guards easily (we suspect they were less alert than they should have been) and took their weapons. We locked all hatches, hoping to seal him in the laboratory wing. Unfortunately, he hacked the shipboard computer, gaining control of all systems. He made his way to the bridge, where he took the captain hostage. We offered him riches, technologies beyond human understanding.

But we underestimated the stubbornness of humans.

He was paid us no mind as he wrestled with the controls, as if on some quest. He punched numbers and figures into the console, and mumbled something about ‘being lit on fire’ by a superior. He set the ship down on the other side of the city from where he was picked up and opened the doors. We braced ourselves for a military confrontation, but it seemed like we were outside another human’s abode. He jumped out, carrying the nutrients with him.

We underestimated Domino’s 30-minute or free guarantee.

[wearenotalone92]

but reanimation 

I mean… humans are so frigging hard to kill that if you die people will just be OH NO YOU DON’T and start pumping your heart themselves and breathing in your lungs until you do it by yourself again. most races consider someone dead when the heart stops, but not humans. not you-can’t-kill-me humans. until there’s even a teeny tiny grain of hope they fucking won’t let death have them. they know that they have a few minutes to do so, at best, and it would be simpler to just let go, but not humans.

cardiac arrest? not on my shift, buddy. respiratory failure? heck no. 

whatever happens, they will try to literally bring you back from the otherworld. 

MonCalamari: I feel very sad. Human Jessie died the other day… a cardiac arrest. She was such a good friend, I can’t even-

Human Steve: buddy, Jessie is alive and well. she’s still in medic bay of course, what with the heart problem and everything, but now she’s good!  who told you that she died? 

MonCalamari: … are you kidding me? her heart stopped, of course she is dead! 

Human Steve: she most definitely isnt, I just went to medic bay and she’s still kicking- mind you, they saved her by a hair, they tried for almost ten minutes… they almost had given up on her, but she is strong and they managed to restart the heart in time.

MonCalamari: they… they got her heart beating again? but that’s surely impossible…? 

Human Steve: go in medic bay if you don’t believe me. surely by now you should have learned that humans don’t like to die?