[there was some kid laying down outside the treehouse, spots on his face bleeding]
@youstillhauntthecornersofmyheart
//child Alex
[Lucy jumps down from the treehouse, landing quietly on her feet. He smelled so familiar. Just like Alex, but less like Enjia and the Treehouse. Was this like little Vin? She nudges him gently.]
[Lucy is sitting with her arms around her knees, back against the wall of Vincent’s room, trying to hold back tears. She’s turning the good luck charm she made him over and over in her hand, mumbling to herself]
From the Personal Archive of Lucille Alonzo Knight - Document dated May 4th, 2026
The purpose of this document is to record the instance of my second death. As it seems I have a history of memory problems after an episode induced by the Eye. A Fear which I am more certainly marked by. Though, as I’ve explained to many, I am not an avatar. I know this because I do not have control.
Before I became of the Hunt, the bloodlust was insatiable. Nothing I did ever stopped it and it became unbearable. The Hunt trying so much to feed through something it did not entirely sustain that nothing was enough. I could have taken entire ecosystems and it would not have let me breathe. Then I Became, and the hunger, while it did not cease, I could control myself. It wasn’t perfect, it still isn’t, but it keeps me sane. Because if there is one thing I cannot stand, it is being out of control.
The Eye wants me. And honestly I cannot blame it. I’m basically the perfect avatar. I know well enough that my dedication to my research is abnormal. I write down everything because it sustains me. I understand the world so much better written down. It makes me happy. But, recently, I’ve realized it is sustaining me physically too. When the Eye has taken enough, it gives. I haven’t slept in four weeks, I haven’t needed to. But, because of its fascination, its desire to have an avatar that feeds it so well, it has taken to draining as much as it can from me. There are days I cannot stop writing things down, cannot help but compel information from people, look into their heads and catalog their thoughts in journals that I have started burning because living with the idea that I did that to them is hollowing. I did it to Jonah. My best friend. I did it to Misty and to Sal. I’m starting to get scared to see my friends because what if I lose control and I do it to them too? I don’t even want to think about if Pixel. . . I can’t hurt them like that. I cannot lose the people who are most important to me. I need control over it.
I’ve been thinking of how to do it. And I think the best option and the safest for both me and Bird Dog is poison. Simple and easy. 10 grams and I’m out for good. I bought some juice for the occasion. I haven’t had it in years, but I think for the event of my death a little celebration is earned.
But I can’t put this off any longer. So, to whoever finds me first, just know these few things:
- I don’t know when I’ll wake up, or if I’ll remember any of this when I do
- If I don’t remember anything, considering you found me in my own home you’re probably one of the people I’m closest with. And I just ask that you please do not let me be alone. I’m gonna wake up scared. Nightmares are common when doing this and I am more prone than most.
- In the event I come back wrong and I am not safe for you. Run. Forget about me. I do this to avoid hurting the people I love most, and if it backfires get as far away from me as possible and do not come back. It’s a slim chance, but don’t think for a second to come back for me if it will hurt you.
Now, I’ve got some juice to drink.
End of entry.
[She put down her pen, leaving the page open so whoever found her could see. Her hands were shaking as she reached for the glass. Her body determined to stop this but her mind made up entirely. The Eye controlling her to this degree ended tonight. If giving herself over to another Fear gave her even a chance of being safer for the people she loved, she would take it. This was for the love of her life, her friends, her brother, and for Bird Dog.]
[She raised a silent toast to her final minutes, and drank. And within a few minutes. Lucille Alonzo Knight was dead.]