I was so excited to come to this stupid camp and it has turned into a really bad experience the past week… But the first 3 weeks were fun! To making friends and trying new things and hanging out with lostinsherlock (ofc) it was wonderful.
But.. last week my friends seem to be getting progressively annoyed and sick of me. Not that they were openly mean or anything. But it’s that underlying feeling of general unwelcome.
And I suppose I do it to myself, since I tend to lock myself in my dorm room… I guess they took it as I don’t want to hangout, which I do.. But.. When I think about it, I’m an only child. Both my parents work and the past 4 weeks I’ve been surrounded by other people 24/7. I have no sense of being alone, which usually drives me to go hangout with people. So, I suppose being here has had the opposite reaction. Though, that’s most likely unique to me as a person.
But I still want to be with my friends, I want to hangout with them. They’re great, nice, funny people. But, when I do manage to leave my room, I’ve missed out on too much. I feel so left out. And they talk about things they did that were fun. And that’s great! I’m glad they’re having fun. And I know they’re not trying to make me feel left out, but I do. And that might just be my own personal issue.
And sometimes I think maybe I’m imagining the unwelcome. They’re not those kinds of people… They’re all nice and sweet as always so maybe it’s all in my head.
On top of that… all of my classes are a bust. Physics I don’t understand, and there’s this one girl in my Creative Writing class who just glares at me… and Game Programming was just a disappointment regarding the software we used.
I’m just not cut out for boarding school life in general as well. I don’t like sharing my room. Not because the room is small or anything, just I don’t like the lessened degree of privacy. And that is definitely rooted in the fact i’m an only child and the only time I share a room is with my cousin 2 times a year during family gatherings.
This was supposed to be a great experience. And I see how it could be, just not for me. Obviously I’ll have to do this in college, but that’s in 2 years.. a lot changes.
So, if you’ve actually read all the way down here. Thank you.
