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Ojiro Gets a BBL | Crack Fic
"Ojiro. My love. It's time to have a serious conversation." Toru Hagakure stands in the hallway of her apartment, staring down her boyfriend with such intensity that he averts his gaze. Of course, he can't really see her intense gaze since she's invisible. But he feels it. Kinda.
"W-what's up?" Ojiro asks nervously. Hagakure has been cagey all week, hinting that she wants to have a serious talk. He rests the full bag of KFC takeout on her magazine-covered coffee table and sits down on her purple couch. He pats the spot next to him, inviting her to sit. She joins him on the couch and he fears the worst - she's going to ask him to move in with her.
Of course he wants to move in with her! But he doesn't feel it's the right time. His agency is just getting up and running and he keeps wild hours some weeks. It wouldn't be fair to her to move in together when he doesn't really have the time to focus on taking that next big step. He bites at his lip, worried he'll need to tell her just that. He's already dreading seeing the disappointment on her face. Or, well, assuming that her face is filled with disappointment. Once again - his girlfriend is invisible. In case you forgot.
"Oijiro. I know you've been busy at the agency lately, but we really need to have this talk." She sucks in a deep breath, and he feels her hand wrap around his. He can't actually see her hand, because she's invisible. But he can feel it. He supposes it could be her foot but - wait, no, those are definitely fingers intertwining with his own. Although, for all he knows she could have a quirk mutation causing fingers to grow form her feet. He's never seen her, after all. And weirder quirk things have happened. He's got a goddamn tail for goodness sake! Hagakure waits for him to refocus his eyes on her. He turns and gives her his full attention.
"Ojiro. I think the time has come...for you to get a BBL."
Oh. Um. This was not exactly what Ojiro was expecting!?
"A BBL!?" Ojiro can't help but yell out in surprise. BBLs are expensive. And he already has a reasonably bouncy ass. Also - what benefit could a BBL possibly give him in battle? And how would his tail factor in to such a surgery? He quiets down, looking at his invisible girlfriend expectantly for an explanation.
Of course he's open to getting a BBL. Many famous women on television have them, after all. So they must be useful in some way. Hell, even Mount Lady's BBL has her glowing! And Ojiro has been envious of it every time he passes her during patrol. So, yeah, he's open to it. But he needs to hear Hagakure's reasoning.
"I've been reviewing the coverage of your recent villain fights on YouTube, and I agree with what a lot of the people are saying in the comments. Your ass is juicy, but it could be juicier. Imagine how much better your fighting style would be if we artificially lowered your center of gravity! Plus, with your agency getting off the ground and a spike in journalist's interest in interviewing you...it's the perfect time in your hero career for some enhancements."
"Well, I can't argue with that logic." Ojiro says gamely. And it's true - he literally has no arguments. This sounds like a fail proof plan.
"Great. Amazing. I already spoke to your secretary and we scheduled your BBL appointment for tomorrow. You'll need to fly to America for it, though. None of the doctors here feel comfortable performing the surgery, what with your tail and all. They said I could come and help, too! I'll be the one plumping up your cheeks." Hagakure beams at him, happy to be involved in the process. Well, she's probably beaming. She sounds like she's beaming. Did I mention, she's invisible?
"Wow, you are just the best girlfriend a guy could have!" Ojiro smiles fondly at her, reaching out to hold her. "This is just like that time you convinced me to get botox in my forehead. Now I never need to worry about moving my eyebrows again!" Ojiro smiles and Hagakure glows as she takes in the ever present look of surprise he's had glued to his face ever since the botox procedure.
"Wow do I love you Ojiro! And just think - after you get your BBL, we can finally think about getting your tail pierced!"
"YES!" Ojiro is so excited at the prospect of all of these body modifications, he's practically buzzing with delight. "I've always wanted to shop at Claire's for some cool earrings to put on my tail! Hagakure, you really are a genius."
"Don't I know it!" Hagakure shimmers. Literally shimmers! It's part of her quirk! (Do you even read MHA!? Why do I keep needing to explain Hagakure to you?)
"Now let's go look on Pinterest at different butt shapes - we'll need some reference photos for the big procedure." Hagakure says, reaching for her laptop.
"Oh wow, I can't wait for my BBL!" Ojiro says loudly, grateful for the wonderful life he's been granted by fate. Things are so delightfully good. And they're about to get even bigger better.
End.
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This is the worst thing I've ever written. Enjoy.
Bedtime scent round-up
Today’s makeup 👀. #glossier #glossieraffiliate #makeup #beautybloggers #bbloggers #luxurybeauty #beautygram #skincare https://www.instagram.com/p/CVa_v5Ev8Sv/?utm_medium=tumblr
After seeing a couple of beauty bloggers I follow on Instagram talk about this foundation, I thought I'd give it a whirl. It's only around the £5 mark, so I figured if it wasn't for me I hadn't wasted any money.
Boy, was I surprised! Not only does the shade 008 Fair Beige very closely match my skin colour, but it has a really nice soft matte finish. It's marketed as being mattifying, as well as sweat and waterproof, and it definitely ticks the first two boxes as it hadn't budged after a 45 minute exercise class! I haven't tested whether it's waterproof as swimming's not my thing 😆
The foundation is formulated with Niacinamide (Vitamin B3) in order to support a refined skin appearance over time. I've never got on well with this particular ingredient before (it's previously caused break outs), but it hasn't affected me that much so far. It's also vegan and microplastics particles free, as well as having no parabens or mineral oil added.
You apply the product using a pipette, which I've never used with a foundation before. It can be a bit messy, if you're as clumsy as I am you may need some Vanish on standby in case it drips from your face onto your clothes! A cleaner way may be to put the foundation straight onto a brush or your hand instead of directly on the face.
Overall, I'd definitely recommend this. It looks much more expensive than it is in a luxe looking glass bottle. Catrice does multiple shades and has a whole range of makeup and skincare products to try!
Back in May, I made a Bite Beauty order as the brand is discontinuing all its products apart from its Lip Lab range. Everything was 50% off, how could I refuse? 😆 I love the brand's lipsticks so thought I'd give its mascara and primer a go.
The Upswing Full-Volume mascara is a pretty good one in my opinion. It claims to be volumising, lengthening, lifting, curl enhancing, smudge resistant and offer intense colour. It definitely does the first four, the fairly chunky brush is wider at each end and smaller in the middle in order to catch every lash and really lift and thicken them.
Although it's not waterproof, it doesn't smudge throughout the day and is easy to apply - you don't need loads of coats to get a lovely look.
The Changemaker Skin-Optimising primer is also a great product. I've used many foundation primers in my time and this one works a treat. It includes Bite's Powerpure Maqui Berry, which helps to hydrate and mattify with its antioxidant properties. Other ingredients are olive oil and hyaluronic acid complex that hydrate the skin, and willow bark that controls shine and minimises the look of pores.
Bite does two varieties of this primer, one for more oily skin and one for dryer skin. I got the one for oily skin and it really does help to mattify and control shine, which is an issue I always have. It helped my foundation to last all day in pretty warm weather when I tested it, so it's a winner in my books. You can still buy this on Feel Unique, so I'd recommend heading there to pick it up, but be quick!
Bio Balance Super Serum Hyaluronic 3D review https://ift.tt/mNyilq9
🎀 I Love Ballet Badges - perfect keepsakes for ballet clubs and performances
