It was Valentine’s Day and Jooheon was very excited. However, it had nothing to do with Valentine’s Day, or girls giving chocolates, since he knew that he wouldn’t eat sweets for a long time, but because, finally, after a little more than a year in hospital, he was finally receiving discharge. A private nurse would keep him company while necessary, but comparing this with being watched by so many doctors and nurses - people whom he was eternally grateful to - he loved the idea of having a little more freedom, and mainly, privacy. He was comfortably seated in the wheelchair that the younger member of the group was pushing, sometimes he was moving it sideways more abruptly, which made both of them laugh loudly and receive a disapproving glance from the boy’s mother, though she didn’t say a thing, once she was worried about that childish play, but happy to see her son and his friend interacting in such a good mood. Jooheon felt as happy as he didn’t remember feeling before, just the fact that he was leaving behind those monotonously white corridors, could make him feel like he was finally getting his life back. He was trying to not think about the fact he didn’t know when he would walk alone again and, even more, if he would be able to stand with his group mates in this lifetime, he was trying to focus on the fact he was there, alive even against the probabilities. It was a time to be hopeful. Finally they reached the courtyard, the daylight making the boy’s eyes hurt, while a smile grew bigger as he felt the heat against his extremely white skin. They went into a van that would be his during that period, where the wheelchair could fit perfectly and he knew the back seats could turn into a sort of stretcher, but he wished to never need this functionality. They went to the apartment his parents rented in Seoul, since he begged to don’t go back to Daegu, he didn’t want to stay away from the members, he would feel even further away from Monsta X. The request was accepted with good will, his parents understood how much the group was important to him. They went up the elevator, talking loudly, on a video call with the other members of the group who, because of the tight schedules, couldn’t be there to see him, but who already promised to spend the night there with him, Minhyuk playing about being his Valentine’s gift , which made the mother sigh,she couldn’t actually understand how they could be such innocent brats. Changkyun continued to guide the other to the room, which was very colorful and with posters attached to the wall, another request from the young man who said he couldn’t bear any white place. The Monsta X’s boys took care personally, with posters of girl-groups and female solo singers, a Spica poster had been put there by Wonho, hoping it could help him remember, even if they couldn’t talk about it. “You can’t create false memories”, the doctors who accompanied the boy used to say. He knew he would remember. Or he’d like to believe he would. “I asked the doctors and they let me give you that”, he said, holding out the cell phone so the other man could take it. “Is it mine?”, he asked, looking at the device with a sense of recognition that was probably not real. “Yes, I kept it charged for you”, he teased, waiting for the other to hold. Changkyun erased the messages he sent to the woman, but after much thought, he decided to not erase the romantic messages, neither the quarrel part, that he believed it caused the whole tragedy. He had shown the messages to the doctors, asking if it might or might not be harmful, but reading messages he had sent wouldn’t create false memories, according to the doctor in charge, on the contrary, it could help him. And emotionally the rapper was fine to deal even with the most turbulent messages there. “He is a strong little man”, the doctor repeated, like someone who talks about a child who took injection without crying or grimacing. Changkyun said goodbye to the other, promising that he would come back later with the other group mates after fulfilling the daily schedule. Jooheon felt a little jealous, but at the same time he was happy that the group was holding on, he knew that they were holding on tight and struggling to keep his place alive in the fans’ memories. As soon as he left, the boy looked at the device, the face that was thinner with a longer hair reflected on the black mirror. ‘I look like a beggar,’ he thought, before unlocking the screen. He decided to look at his photo folder first. There were pictures of his friends and pictures of his dog, Sanche, who now slept comfortably on the boy’s bed. There were pictures taken by Kihyun, which he always sent to everyone. Some landscapes. Photos from the sky. A derp face he saved from twitter. Pictures of shoes that were probably more expensive than it should be… Until he saw pictures of him dressed as a vampire next to a woman.She was also dressed as a vampire, although she wore a short, tight dress. They both smiled and embraced with a strange intimacy. Jooheon recognized her from the visit she made to the hospital a few times. A friend he couldn’t remember at the moment. Going up on the camera roll, more pictures with her. Some seemed to have taken without her noticing. She was cooking while wearing something that looked like pajamas. One of them she was wearing his cap. Until he found a photo with a writing below. Bbo noona. He recognized his own disastrous handwriting as he tried to write using his fingers against the cell phone screen. He decided to check her name on his phone. And suddenly he started reading the messages they sent to each other for a year. At first she just looked like a friend, but that seemed to change in the most recent messages, if he could call ‘recent’ messages from more than a year ago. She was definitely more than a friend. He didn’t keep reading until the last messages. He stopped where they were deciding about the Halloween’s costumes. He wanted some different costumes, like Captain America and Agent Carter or Superman and Wonder Woman, she laughed at his absurdity, at last they agreed to go like vampires. There would be many others so it wouldn’t be suspicious. He laughed alone in the room, seeing the emoji they exchanged and the photo pretending to cry that he sent after agreeing. It was the last message he read before deciding to send a new message to her. He didn’t know if it would be a good idea or not, but he knew very well that life was not very good with third chances, so he decided to do whatever he wanted with the second chance he had. | 안녕? | Happy Valentine’s Day? ㅋㅋ | - Jooheon He didn’t know how she would answer to that message and he knew he should 'avoid false memories’, which he repeated even in his dreams, like a mantra. But depending on her response, who knows if some real memory wouldn’t manifest?
Bohyung visits on the hospital weren’t frequent. There were a lot of reasons for her to avoid that hospital. She didn’t want people to start rumors or to go too deep into her visits. She didn’t want to catch any attention or end up being on those mean comments people would leave in those gossip sites. But she couldn’t help but also avoid to not feel hurt. Because every time he looked at her like she was a stranger. He talked to her in a extremely polite way, things that were slowly dropping when they were intimate. At first she hoped he would slowly remember her, at least as a friend. But no, every visit she paid to him he would smile at her with those eyes that apologized for not remembering her. His mother would always be nice to her, asking her to be patient with him. And she was. But maybe it wasn’t for him to remember her. Maybe it would spare him. So if her visit was at least weekly at first it was turning into a visit every 15 days. And then once in a month. It had been 2 months since she last visited him. He probably didn’t care either. But she missed him everyday. Her best friend kept telling her she should move on, that living in the past would be a mistake and she would turn into a prisoner of memories she was the only one still having. She tried to leave it all behind. She tried to delete his pictures from her phone but she was unable to do so, the pictures they were together the ones she had of him. Small candid pictures. Pictures he would randomly send her to try to convince her to do something with his silly expressions. They had a special folder on there with just a heart on it. The guilt would also join her in the loneliest nights. “That’s what you deserve.” The voice in the back of her head told her. She had to fight it everyday when she laid down to sleep. That day she didn’t expect anything. She didn’t make chocolates to anyone, even friends or anything. On that Valentine’s Day she just hoped the world would forget she existed. The vocalist was smart enough to avoid social media the entire day. Maybe watching a movie would keep her mind busy. Two entire movies and some good popcorn. She thought it was the best to avoid the romantic movies just in case. She also didn’t even change her clothes deciding to spend the day with her pajamas on, after all no one would see her that day. She allowed herself to just not care about anyway. She was searching for a third movie to watch when she felt sleepy and decided to take a nap then. What she didn’t expect when she woke up was to find a message from that number. But even before opening it she told herself to calm down. It was probably just a message from one of the guys again. She hoped it would at least be good news, he was stable now but the fear of him getting worse all of sudden was what haunted her all the time. Reading that message her heart pounded on her chest and she could feel her entire skin growing cold, her blood pressure going low for the surprise. Her mouth got dry as she wondered. Has he reminded of her? What did that message meant? It was signed under his name. Bohyung spent some time looking at the screen of her phone before she finally decided to type back | 오래만에… | Happy Valentine’s Day, Jooheonie. | | 뽀 Without noticing she was crying, tears streaming down her cheeks while she stared at that phone. She wanted to ask him so many things, but she didn’t want to pressure him. She still wondered if she should make her way back into his life after all. She sure didn’t feel like she deserved that. She should have even avoided answering that message. But she couldn’t. She simple couldn’t. | Do you remember me? | | 뽀 The second message was tapped even if her hands were shaking and she seemed to have a hard time to breathe in that moment.