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Feb 13, 2018

Loki’s Baby Day Out

@teckmonky This is for you <3

“You are going to get us all killed” Steve pointed out helpfully “Including yourself”

Tony chuckled “Sure, if Thanos couldn’t kill you, I sure as hell won’t”

Steve only rolled his eyes, leaning casually on the work bench Tony was currently using to store all the garbage he might need later. There were cogs and wheels and screws all over the place, a haphazard mess of nothing and everything.

Steve was not allowed to clean it.

Steve already hated this bench, but every other bench either had something spilled on it or moved when it shouldn’t be moving.

‘Classified’ Tony had said ‘Don’t look at it, though, it doesn’t like that’

He had his arms crossed before his chest and watched Tony work on his latest invention. It had the approximate shape of a Russian jet engine, but it was blinking and beeping, all sorts of lights and wires coming out of it.

It made no sense to anyone but Tony.

“So, what is this again?” Steve dared to ask “a toaster?”

Tony, who was welding a side of it, gave him a look Steve didn’t think he could through his welding goggles.

“I don’t want to say” Tony told him “You will judge me”

“I always judge you” Steve said, walking over “what is it?”

“I believe the peasant term for it is Death Ray”

Steve blinked “Death ray? You’re making a death ray?”

“Not exactly” Tony told him, fixing another minute detail only he could see “but yes, it’s a death ray”

“Did SHIELD authorize this?” Steve asked

“I think you know very well that SHIELD does not own me” Tony said calmly “Now be a good boy and be quiet, this is a very delicate procedure and I require silence”

“You-”

“Silence, Muscle Man”

Steve exhaled, crossed his arms and looked to the side, shaking his head, only to do a double take when a bench growled at him.

Oh yeah, don’t look at it

Steve went back to glaring at Tony, silently, as the genius had asked, but he had more than a few words for it.

Neither of them noticed the doors to their lab opening and letting in a villain god turned anti hero turned Avenger walk in.

“Stark!” Loki snapped “You need to…”

The beam exploded and their world quickly turned white, then shockingly black.

Yet, somehow, even in the midst of blinding pain and darkness, Tony could hear Steve’s words very clearly.

“Told you…”

***

Of course they were all alright.

More or less.

Tony and Steve got minor burns, which were quickly treated and left them well enough to move about and get on with their day.

It gave Steve the power to point out a few things Tony was likely missing.

“I was wrong” he admitted “You weren’t going to kill us. Thor is going to kill you”

Tony stood there, eyes wide, hand over his mouth as he stared at what had become of Loki, the villain god turned anti hero turned Avenger turned …

“A baby?” Natasha asked “You turned him into a baby!?”

“I didn’t mean to!”

“Guys, lower your voices” Steve said “He’s…staring”

And there, on a medical bed, staring at them with his beautiful big green eyes, sat their former villain god, Loki. He was barely a year old and looked at each of them with curiosity and interest. He made soft, cooing noises whenever either of them moved, but remained seated in the towel they had wrapped him in.

He was unhurt physically, which was more than could be said for Tony – who would likely die the moment Thor arrived, what with his history of being strangled by powerful gods.

“Uh … what do we do?” Tony asked

“The fact that you ask me this, worries me greatly” Steve said

Natasha stood looking down at the baby, all green eyes and innocence.

“How can this turn into … Loki?”

“Rather how can Loki turn into this” Steve chuckled “He’s so cute”

Loki looked at him and smiled, eyes squeezed shut, four little teeth out on display for them.

“Aw” Tony smiled “look at that”

“Yes, he’s cute, isn’t he?” Steve said, then smiled when Loki reached for him “Okay, little guy, come on. Time to show uncle Tony what happens when he messes with things he shouldn’t”

He set him on his hip and Loki watched them all one by one.

“Uncle Tony?” Tony scoffed

“Well, what else do you want me to call you?” Steve carried Loki to the door “besides, don’t you have better things to worry about”

“Yeah, like not dying” Natasha pointed out helpfully, following them out “Thor’s going to kill you”

“Thor is not going to kill me, relax” Tony told them

Or so he hoped.

Thor did try to kill him.

Tony had bruises on his throat to prove it and sat having a glass of scotch as Steve, Clint and Bruce all tried calming Thor down while the god yelled insults at Tony.

The fact that he held Loki in one large hand only made it that much more ridiculous. Add to that fact that Thor had dressed him up in an adorable Mighty Thor onesie, complete with tiny booties, made the whole thing – unbelievable.

“You hear me?” Thor snarled “Your innards, Stark! You will hang by them outside your own home if you do not fix him!”

“Thor, he’s fine, physically, it could have been much…” Steve tried

“Fine!?” Thor roared “He’s a child, he is an infant, how can he be fine!?”

“He could have been seriously injured and he isn’t, be thankful” Bruce said “This is easy to reverse, all I need is…”

“I am not letting any of you near my brother again!” Thor snarled “None of you are trustworthy, you have always…”

“Thor” Natasha cut in

“No, I am not being unreasonable!” Thor snapped at her “He has shown you time and time again…”

“No, Thor!” Clint pointed to him “Look at the baby, he’s gone!”

Thor blinked and looked down at his hand, then paled when he saw nothing but the fading mist that signaled that his brother had teleported.

Loki was gone.

***

New York was the best.

Or at least that’s what new baby Loki thought.

He crawled when he didn’t want to walk and his tiny hands clapped on the marble flooring as he calmly snuck into the places he would never admit to liking as an adult.

The hit in Tony’s lab should have killed him, it was brutal. This was a way his magic defended him – turning him into a babe as it tried to heal enough to have him back at full power.

Once he got his power, he would surely exact painful vengeance on those responsible.

Tony, Steve and Science.

Stupid science.

Not that he minded it now, he simply crawled his way into the building he wanted to – a small museum which was famous for its tribute to the Avengers. They had replicas of their costumes, weapons, their stories, filled with things that the masses loved and wanted.

It was filled to the brim right now – a few schools had decided to take a field trip here and girls and boys filled the halls, chatting and talking loudly.

Loki made his way across the floor, looking up at all these tall people, trying to find something that would help him move around faster. He was barely noticed as he walked past people’s ankles, sometimes looking up at them when he got tired and sat on his tiny rear, head tipped up, looking around.

This place was a maze and he navigated it, crawling along the walls and touching the glass cases he liked.

There was a large replica of Thor, made of wax and standing there, imposing and majestic. Loki grinned at that, his tiny teeth glinting in the dim lit room. Slowly, he dragged himself closer to it and pushed himself to his feet, slapping the glace and looking up at his big brother.

“Ah!”

His tiny voice was lost as he pat the glass again, wanting his brother to look at him. His big green eyes were focused on his helm and his Mjolnir replica. But Thor didn’t move and Loki plopped down beside it and sat there, waiting for Thor to move.

Thor, who was flying through the skies above the city, looking for little lost brother. Lightning forced him above the city and his eyes glowed with his anger and irritation.

He had no idea where Loki had gone and for once even Stark was subdued – possibly because Thor was one second away from killing him until Loki was found.

Tony flew alongside him, tapping into his computer to see if he could trace his magic. The suit was designed and perfected a few months back, so he didn’t have a reason for it to not work properly.

“I sense energy that could be Loki by the museum” Tony told him “Come on”

He dove down, Thor following, and landed before a group of stunned students leaving the museum.

A second after, screaming erupted as they gathered around the heroes, who had to stay calm even if they were not, more for publicity and politeness’ sake.

Inside, Baby Loki turned to the hallways that looked appealing and found himself crawling in an exhibit that showed off dangerous weapons used throughout time.

He grinned and crawled towards a particularly dangerous looking canon, possibly used in the first world war.

It didn’t take long for him to sneak in to examine it, his face glowing with delight.

Outside, Thor and Tony managed to make their way past the screaming students, some parts of Thor’s cape missing, and tracked Loki once more.

“He’s in there” Tony pointed to a large hallway to their left, his mask lifting to show his face “Come on”

What happened next – Tony could hardly describe.

Loki sat atop a huge canon, his expression utterly delighted. Thor saw him and heaved a sigh of relief

“Brother!”

Something flashed to life and both Thor and Tony looked at the wick of the canon and Loki’s sparking fingers.

“Did he just…”

“Stark, get down!”

Thor shoved Tony to the floor and the next moment, the room exploded as the canon fired, blasting a thick iron ball through the walls, the wood, concrete and destroying it upon impact.

Loki’s delighted squeals echoed in the destruction and devastation around as both Thor and Iron Man were crushed under rubble and cement that had once been the museum ceiling.

By the time authorities arrived and the sirens reached them, Loki was once more, long gone, the shimmer of his magic left behind.

***

The news was running about a supposed bombing at the museum and various electronic shops and stores played it on their televisions to entice potential buyers. People were gathered around windows, watching it, watching security tape footage of the incident, everything.

Loki was not.

Loki had more important plans.

His onesie was already a mess, there was nothing anyone could do about it and he scuttled like the little menace he was, towards his goal.

It was late now, everything was closed. There were few people around here and he was left alone.

The Zoo was a secluded place unlike the museum, it was peaceful and easy to sneak in. but by now, Loki was hungry and he whimpered, sitting on his little rump, looking around when he reached a bench and climbed on it.

His little belly rumbled and his tiny mouth turned down into a pout. He raised his eyes to the skies and asked for the one person who could get him something to eat.

“Tho..” he cooed for his brother “Tho?”

There was no answer for once and Loki whimpered, tears filling his eyes as he sat there, all alone.

“Tho…” he sniffled.

Again, no answer came to him, so he waited. Perhaps his brother was busy or sleeping.

Yet, he always called him when he came, always!

Loki tried again, calling him over and over until he began to yawn. He fell to his side on the bench, curling up and weeping softly.

“Tho…” he whined, rubbing his eyes with his tiny fist.

An image flickered to life before him and he looked at it.

Thor’s illusion smiled at him, his hair long and blonde, his eyes, both of them, blue and focused on little Loki. There was a gentle glow about him and he came to sit at Loki’s feet and place a hand on his arm.

He didn’t saw anything, but he was a comfort to the baby as he sat beside him, giving him the peace he needed until Loki dozed off and the image vanished.

***

The next day, Thor was desperate.

Tony and him spent ages at the SHIELD office despite Thor telling them he didn’t have the time. He had to find Loki, his brother was missing!

They sent agents after him and kept them detained through the night. It was only the next morning that they both left and Tony insisted on having a bite to eat.

It pissed Thor off more than he already was.

“You won’t eat?” Tony asked through a mouthful of pancakes

“No” Thor snarled “My brother is likely hungry and alone. Every bite I eat will be betrayal since he cannot have anything. Stuff yourself, by all means, though”

Ah, Tony realized, the god was still pissed.

He finished quickly afterwards, so Thor didn’t tear his head off or something, then started to track Loki once more.

“The … Zoo?” Tony frowned “There are signs of his magic there, too”

“Then hurry up” Thor growled, once more going after his brother.

His brother, who was currently feeding himself with another baby’s bottle in the playpen.

The Zoo has a small day care and children of all ages, and Loki, were sitting and playing with the toys provided.

Loki had made himself a small throne from lego and blocks and sat upon it, chugging down the contents of the bottle brought to him by another baby.

His minion.

Two babies sat watching him, their eyes big and unintelligent in his opinion, and he smiled, finished the bottle and threw it aside.

He burped loudly and hummed in pleasure, watching these peasants play around him.

They were entertaining, if nothing else and soon enough, Loki had them all playing a game where they bowed and he beamed.

He then took the most beautiful binky, popped it into his mouth and headed out once more, leaving the crofter class behind him.

Tony tracked him to the daycare and Thor followed, pushing their way through and looking around. There were babies in the pen and most of them looked at him, but there was no sign of Loki.

“Damn it” Tony cussed “I don’t see him”

“Well, he was definitely here” Thor pointed to the throne the other children were taking apart “That’s something he would do”

“Okay…” Tony frowned “So where did he go?”

“Possibly elsewhere” Thor frowned, then pat his arm “Come on, remove that costume, you are scaring everyone, then follow me”

Tony scoffed “This is armor, not a costume”

But it clicked and clocked out of existence, leaving Tony looking normal as he followed Thor out.

“Here” Thor smiled, pointing to tracks in the dirt and dust on the zoo grounds “What parent would let their child crawl like that? Come on, he went this way”

Tony nodded, impressed, then jogged after Thor.

The god of Thunder led him to the herpetarium, which was crowded with people. The lights were dim and it had a strange, cryptic luminosity about it. Tony didn’t like it one bit, but Thor was charging through like nothing mattered or bothered him. His eyes searched for anything resembling Loki and he walked so fast Tony had to actively jog beside him.

Which was why he bumped into Thor’s back when he suddenly stopped.

“Oh my God” Thor whispered, his eyes focused on an enclosure to the right.

A huge boa python was curled on the false tree it was given, its coils huge and intimidating. Its head was turned to them and its sinister looking tongue flicked out every now and then.

But that was not what Thor was looking at.

Up in the coils so heavily laying on the top of the branch, was Loki, calmly playing with a round rock he’s clearly picked up from the floor of the enclosure.

There was a binky in his mouth and it moved as he bit on it and he wasn’t bothered by anything or anyone.

Thor was stunned and shaken out of it when Tony nudged him.

“Hey, I said what are we going to do?”

“Uh…” Thor frowned and walked to the enclosure “Loki. Loki!”

He tapped on the glass and the snake spun to look at him. Loki did, too and his face lit up at the sight of Thor.

He squealed and kicked in joy, screeching and clapping his hands.

“Tho!” he pushed himself to sit, shrieking in delight “Tho! Th-“

Loki let out a startled yelp when his binky fell from his mouth and plopped into the small fake lake at the bottom of the enclosure.

He stared at it, his face stunned.

“Oh no” Thor whispered, backing away “Stark, get these people out of here”

Loki’s lip quivered and he looked at Tony and Thor, his face crumpling.

The next second, he began to howl and the walls started to shake in response. People gasped and cried out, startled while Thor tried to get his brother’s attention

“Loki!” he called “Loki, look at me! Baby, look at me!”

But Loki was inconsolable, he screamed and cried in his anger and the windows cracked and broke, the floors shook.

Tony guided them to the exit and Thor cussed as it only got worse with Loki’s tantrum.

“Loki!” he punched the glass and it cracked “Loki, stop it, you’re going to hurt someone!”

Loki only screamed louder, howling and wailing in anger as his binky got lost forever in the dark water.

The lights around Thor flickered and he hissed, trying to ignore the bits of ceiling that were falling on him.

“Loki!”

The world turned dark suddenly and the shaking stopped, the rumbling stopped, the howling stopped.

Silence fell around him and Thor startled when the emergency lights flicked on and revealed the destruction before him.

“Ah…shit” Thor whispered.

Loki was gone again.

***

The news got a hold of them again, then the police, then SHIELD.

Thor couldn’t stop rolling his eyes and Tony couldn’t explain how they were at the sight of another destruction, twice in two days.

And Loki was nowhere to be found.

“Listen, I don’t care about your ridiculous protocol” Thor snarled at the agent “My brother is missing and I have to find him, what part of that do you not understand?”

“Our agents are looking” the man sighed “They will find him…”

“They will not” Thor told him “ I will find him and if you don’t let me out right now, I will break through this facility and destroy anything that tries to stop me”

It didn’t take long after that for Tony to step in and once more, Thor was out searching for his brother.

Loki was in a park now.

He’d found a spot beside a young man who was dozing on his picnic cloth and dug into his basket of food.

His hands and face were streaked with sauce and sticky with the juice he’d stolen and he sat calmly chewing and gumming on the food.

There were other children playing around, all of them happy and with their parents. All of them overjoyed, running around with dogs, or Frisbees, anything that interested them.

And here was Loki, eating the best damn food he’d had in two days.

He tossed aside the last of the food and stood, wiping his hands gently on the man’s shirt, then waddled his way towards the manmade lake to sit and watch the ducks.

Or at least, that was what he wanted.

“Well, well” a familiar, evil voice spoke “What have we here?”

Loki turned and looked up to see Victor Von Doom looking down at him and smiling.

“A tiny tot who has no business being this when he could be the infamous god he was”

Loki frowned at him and pouted when he picked him up.

Doom laughed at his tiny growl “How cute, you think you can scare me”

He was in his civilian clothes, so no one was raising alarm. He was going to take Loki and they couldn’t stop him.

Loki arched his back and twisted, trying to get out of his grip, making Victor chuckle again.

“Come on” Victor teased, giving him a shake “Hit me with your best shot”

Loki stopped struggling and looked at this man, giving him a cute, adorable and utterly terrifying smile.

On the other side of town, trying to track him again, Tony and Thor stood on a roof.

They were about to lock in on his location when a sonic boom of dramatic proportions made them raise their heads and look up.

There was smoke and fire rising in the distance, possibly from a huge detonation of energy and power.

“You don’t think…” Tony began

“Yes, I do,” Thor moved to the edge of the roof “Come on!”

Tony watched him jump off and lightning surround him as he was launched into the sky.

“Show off” he grunted

His suit appeared over him as he walked on and by the time he jumped off, he was already Iron Man and ready to find Thor’s wayward brother.

It wasn’t hard, following the screams, the destruction and the angst that brought him to his brother. It was a little difficult for him to take in the scene he came upon.

There was a huge cavity in the ground, likely the blast area, created by the sheer force and energy that erupted from there. The smell of magic and dirt filled the air and Thor had to squint past the haze of dust and smoke to see the poor, unfortunate form of Victor Von Doom laying in the middle of the carnage, groaning in pain.

Loki sat atop his chest, calm and unhurt, tapping on the notorious doctor’s phone.

The beeping and blipping of the game were the only noises there as Thor climbed down to get his brother.

He saw Loki hear him and turn, then give him the biggest smile he could.

“Tho!” he grinned, raising his arms

And finally, finally, Thor’s hands closed around him and he found himself curling up against his warm chest.

“Tho” Loki sang, nuzzling his chest and wrapping his arms around his neck.

“Ah, brother” Thor kissed his head “I missed you, too”

He kissed his hair and started to climb out, holding Loki in his arms tightly and lovingly. He could hear the sirens and saw Tony land on the ground before him.

“Goodluck explaining this” Thor winked at him

“No, Thor, no you’re not…”

He broke off as Thor simply shot into the clouds again taking his brother with him and leaving Tony behind.

“Ah, poop” Tony sighed, turning and raising his arms for the police as he was taken in again.

***

“You’re joking”

Thor smiled at his brother as they two sat opposite each other at the kitchen table.

“Over a pacifier?” Loki asked, flicking his hair out of his eyes with all the grace a fourteen year old could manage

“Aye” Thor chuckled, sipping from the beer can in his hand “the whole enclosure”

Loki pulled a face, impressed with himself “Wonderful”

Loki had started to age again. The process was slow, Tony and Bruce reasoned it would take him about six weeks to get back to his normal self, and till then, Thor had a completely new experience with his brother.

He’d gone through all the phases of childhood with rapid succession and realized he would likely never have children and more than that, never let Loki have any children if they were anything like him.

No, not a risk he was taking.

“And I took down Doom?” Loki asked “he got taken down by a baby?”

“He was laying there, whimpering and crying while you sat on him” Thor laughed

“Norns” Loki chuckled “I must have been unbearable”

“Neh” Thor shrugged “your cuteness made up for it”

Loki knew Thor had a phone filled with pictures of him as a babe, then a toddler, then older, till now. He knew there would be many, many more in the coming weeks.

He pretended he didn’t mind.

“Give me a sip” Loki nodded to the beer

Thor shook his head “No, you are fourteen, not allowed”

“I am not fourteen” Loki said “My body is fourteen”

“Earth rules” Thor said “Sorry”

He took an obnoxiously long sip and Loki narrowed his eyes at him

“Monster” he hissed “ I should set you on fire”

Thor chuckled “Me thinks you are getting grumpy”

“Don’t you dare” Loki rasped

Thor only grinned and finished his beer.

And if, when he went to throw the can away, he brought Loki back a carton of milk, then it was only out of goodwill.

And if he got a laugh even as Loki hurled stinging, burning curses at him, well…

It was so entirely worth it.

#thor #loki #bby loki #inspired #teckmonky #one shot

theuninspirednovelist