Cameron unintentionally flinched at the bite to Hudson's words, not having expected them, though he was grateful his back was turned so he couldn't see the reaction. He slowly pushed himself up onto his elbows and let out a soft sigh as he tried to find the right words to respond with. By now, the high between them had faded, leaving behind the cold reality they always crashed into afterwards that he hated more than he cared to admit. "That's not fair," Cameron finally said, though the defense lacked any real bite behind it. He hated how defensive he sounded, but more than that, he hated that Hudson was right. They were ignoring each other. They had mastered the art of sharing a bed while keeping a mile of emotional distance between them the second the clothes went back on. He stared at the defined line of Hudson's shoulders, wanting nothing more than to reach out and touch him, to pull him back under the covers where the outside world couldn't reach them. But the fear stopped him. It was the same paralyzing fear that choked him every time a reporter got too close, or a teammate made a careless, offhand joke in the locker room. "I don't want us to ignore each other," Cameron admitted softly, then sat up fully, pulling his knees up to his chest and resting his chin on them. "I'm just... My head is a mess tonight. I feel like I'm drowning in all the lying, and the second I try to breathe, I just think about what happens if we get caught. What happens to the team... To our careers." He swallowed hard, finally looking directly at the back of Hudson's head, pleading silently for him to just turn around. "I don't want you to go," Cameron whispered, his voice cracking slightly. "I just don't know how to do this anymore without feeling like everything is about to blow up in our faces."