#bd&h-progress

[lukas-clost]

pretty much done with the first draft of chapter 4! I'm so happy with how it's turning out, even though rewriting is gonna kick me in the ass, lol

I should be able to post it on time next Sunday!

Also, I keep writing future chapters in Pap's POV because oh my gosh, his reactions to things (things being Kate, lol) just keeps running through my mind as I write the chapters. Tee-hee, I'm excited to share :D

[lukas-clost]

I have been meaning to change this one character's name for the longest time and I have finally done it!!!

I didn't realise the full extent of how necessary this rewrite was!!! 'Cause so much has changed in the past 4 or so hours of me writing, scratching my brain and talking with my sister. I'm quite pleased with the results and I'm almost done rewriting chapter 1!!

Woop woop-

[lukas-clost]

I have the sudden urge to abandon my story to instead better understand Undertale's story as a whole

I've been reading and watching a lot of reviews and analyses that really highlight my shortcomings in understanding stories and characters and I genuinely want to step back from BD&H until I have a secure grasp on it.

Cause I've been drafting and rewriting and editing and rewriting chapter 6 for what feels like forever, but I'm not satisfied. And all this as I watch analyses doesn't help my confidence in my writing skills, lol.

I am genuinely struggling with writing out this chapter and I'm starting to think that it's because I still don't have a decent grasp on stories and characters and storytelling as a whole, which I was aware of long before I started posting the chapters, but it feels like I know even less than I thought I did. Undertale, even less, it seems

But I won't stop writing the story.

I can't guarantee that it won't end up kinda off, and that I might not like it and that it may get a lot of plot holes and lots of inconsistencies, but I'm hoping that it'll help me grow in my storytelling anyway.

That being said, I am still struggling to get this chapter out the way I want it to, because my awareness of different takes is now warring with my original perception of the character and I have this itch to just abandon the original plot in favour of producing a character that is more canon, I guess. But I won't. I don't know how long it's going to take for me to accept the direction I originally wanted to go in, but I don't want to betray that version of the story because I'm rethinking things. Mostly because it'll change the entire plot (which doesn't feel like a lot, having posted only five chapters so far, lol), but also because I don't know if I'll even like the new version I'm thinking of, so :/

In any case, I guess I only feel so strongly because this chapter will literally determine the nature and development of Kate and Papyrus' relationship from here on out. Which gives it a lot more stakes than the other chapters did where they were just acquainting themselves with each other

I dunno. But I do know that I have some writing to do, no matter how unsure of it I am slowly becoming...

[lukas-clost]

I don't think I mentioned it here, but I've been struggling to get chapter 5 of BD&H to a place of satisfaction; hence no update

But! the chapter has been drafted and I mostly like it. I just have to insert and fix some dialogue, fix any continuity issues, add some details and then I'm pretty much done!

I think I'll post it on halloween in celebration of deltarune so that I can give myself time to actually get it done, lol

I posted a companion book that I'm gonna fill with one shots, cutscenes, original drafts, and chapters in other people's POVs on Wattpad, Quotev and Ao3 so that there's something to read as you wait, so you can go check those out if you want

[lukas-clost]

this story is transforming before my very eyes and I am loving it!

In other news, I haven't written chapters in weeks(?) (I've been reading and writing short scenes that I like) and finally cracking open my pc and hearing the gentle click of the keys was such wonderful feeling that I wondered why I hadn't been writing

I know exactly why

I'm lazy, lol

[lukas-clost]

frustrated with myself rambles below, lol

I'm so excited to share my fanfiction to the world; I've got chapter banners and book covers and so much lore and worldbuilding lined up to share, but there's no writing to begin with! T~T

I am struggling to actually write the chapters, but I'm so in love with the idea of the story already being out there, the story already being written and I get to read it to myself over and over again giggling and kicking my feet, but there is no story!!!

I want to scream

I really want this story to be written, but I can't find it within myself to like what's already been written so that I can move on to more chapters. ugh

maybe a hiatus from the hellsite. I have been scrolling obsessively for a while now and seeing all the writing progress and completed stories has been depressing me somewhat

I'll be back in July to strictly update my Camp NANO progress, and BD&H progress, if I have any

toodles, I guess?