♡ HAPPY HYUKA DAY ♡
i am wishing our beloved tubatu maknae a day filled with love, laughter, and happiness! i hope this coming year is fruitful in all the ways he wants it to be, and that amidst tubatu's packed schedule, that he has time to rest, relax, and recharge as he deserves.
quick cc note: no it's actually quick this time, i'm serious! if you want to know what i think about hyuka in greater length, pls revisit my past bday posts ;LKAJDF;ALKJA there's really only so many times i can talk about how proud i am of my tubatus and how they've grown SO well. that being said... i DO want to say this: the longer i watch txt as a group, the more i appreciate each member and the overall dynamic, and how each person contributes to the overall atmosphere and helps the team move forward.
i touch upon it on the back of the trading card above, but huening kai impresses me SO much with his consistency and excellence onstage. he is so steady, so dependable. i'm never nervous watching him; you know without a doubt that he'll always deliver. and it's not even just when they're performing. it's more or less a sure bet that even if the other four members are in tears and unable to speak, hyuka WILL be smiling at them and ready to take the mic if needed.
he's always been like this, a solid presence for the group through thick and thin, but as time goes by and he grows more and more into himself, it's even more evident. and i think part of it is just his nature, right, but it's also something he works hard for! and it pays off. you can absolutely tell how much the members lean on him and trust him.
i think huening kai is just such a lovely human being, and i hope he treats himself with as much kindness as he does others!! and that he continues to grow in all the ways he hopes to, and that all of the love he pours into the people around him comes back and reaches him in the high and low moments alike.
♡ HAPPY BEOMGYU DAY ♡
to txt’s resident multifaceted moodmaker, who never fails to lift his members’ spirits and always makes sure to care for them in all the ways they need, i am wishing a birthday full of love, laughter, and as much relaxation as can be managed as they prepare for tour!
quick cc note: first of all. a formal apology to my beomgyutuals and also to beomgyu himself that his bday zine still sits like 60% finished on my external hard drive. i’m so sorry like i HAVEN’T forgotten it’s just like. i don’t want it to suck. u know how it goes!!! anyway !!! moving on....
there’s of course so many sides to beomgyu and so many things that we could spend time talking about. i love that he likes to and often does present such a bright image, and i love the way that he naturally lights up a room, especially when he’s with people he loves and trusts. and i equally love his gentle and quiet nature, and the way all of this combined and juxtaposed comes together to make up a one-of-a-kind beomgyu!!! i love how empathetic he is and how clearly he cares about the people around him. i think at his core he is a caretaker in the way that he is always looking out for his members, and how he will make sure they’re doing okay before he even thinks to think about himself. along these lines i how unfailingly kind he is and how he’s the sort of person that naturally lifts others up without even seeming to consciously realize he’s doing so. people gravitate to him, and it’s no wonder!
i think another incredible strength of beomgyu’s is his ability to acknowledge when he’s struggling. i really admire the way that he’s able to be open about the natural ups and downs one can go through, and i think he makes more of a difference than he knows by sharing his lower moments with his fans even though he has no obligation to whatsoever. it’s so brave of him. he’s really brave, the way he lays his heart bare and the way he shoulders the weight of being seen as the moodmaker of the group, and the way he squares his shoulders and keeps moving forward through the good times and the bad.
and the thing that really leaps out to me about beomgyu? honestly, i think it’s the way he lives and breathes music. all the tubatus love music and love performing, but i think for beomgyu it’s literally his lifeblood. i think music to him is something as integral to living as air. you can tell how sometimes a song he loves is so personal to him it almost hurts. you can tell that even if he wasn’t an idol, even if he wasn’t doing something involving performing, music would still be central in his life somehow. there’s something unadulterated and pure about the way he loves it.
to beomgyu, who often looks after others before looking after himself! i hope you give yourself the same grace you give to those around you, and that you allow yourself time to rest even when the world seems more hectic than ever. i hope you always love music and the stage as much as you do now, and that it continues to bring you joy even as the years continue to pass. i hope this trip around the sun is fruitful for you, that there are more good, warm days than there are bad, that as many opportunities to do whatever you want fall right within your grasp, ripe for the taking. i will always believe in you and will always be cheering you on. i hope you spend today and this year and all of those to come smiling as often as possible. ♡
♡ HAPPY TAEHYUN DAY ♡
to my star boy, my very best boy, my boy with entire universes in his eyes. i don’t know that i could say it better than yeonjun so i’ll just echo his words — i hope taehyun can have a better birthday than anyone else can.
quick cc note: ah, taehyunnie! i always say he’s my most special kpop boy and like! i mean it! from the drop he has had such a particular place in my heart. and by from the drop i literally mean from day one when txt hadn’t even debuted yet and we all thought taehyun was a rapper. ah, the good ol’ days. we’ve come so far since then!
every time i look at how well he’s growing up, how he’s really coming into his own, i just feel. SO so proud. i worry that i’m getting repetitive in these tubatu bday notes always talking about how they’ve grown so much and so well but it’s just. i can’t help it. to me the tubatus are like. my little brother group? it is such a privilege to me to have been able to watch taehyun turn from this clever, bright eyed, ambitious little rookie to... well, he’s still clever, bright-eyed, and ambitious! but he’s older and wiser and even steadier than before. he’s always been so confident and surefooted about what he wants but now he’s also got all the weight and knowledge of nearly four years of working as an active idol behind him.
i love how quick-witted he is and how genuinely funny he is around his members and when it’s just moas, but how he gets shy and says he is no fun on variety shows. i love the way he tries to make eye contact with every fan he can at performances and the way he spends so much time interacting with moas on weverse. (i love when he uses weverse as google... like nothing makes me feel more embarrassingly fond than when he’s desperately asking whether it’s okay he swallowed a feather or casually inquiring about geopolitical relations in europe.) i love the way he throws himself into this job with his whole self. i love that he’s so passionate about it, that he’s so serious about it. this is his craft and he really doggedly pursues the avenues he wants to — i’m glad he’s getting to write and topline more and i’m over the MOON that he’s been discussing releasing a mixtape with the company. i love his tenacity to continuously improve and his tenacity to maintain his own standard of excellence. he works so hard to do so. another thing i love SO much is like. okay so, i’ve said this before but. if yeonjun works hard and likes that he can make things look effortless, taehyun works hard and likes for us to see that hard work. :’)
speaking of yeonjun, i think the other thing i love so so much about taehyun is how much he loves his members. he has so much faith in them and you can just tell that if he could do it all over he’d choose those four boys every single time. when soobin said that taehyun really cares about the people in his circle and not at all in a personal way about those not in his circle and that he can tell that they are in taehyun’s circle.... well what am i supposed to do but cry? the way he and hyuka are forever soulmates, the way he never stops telling yeonjun that he’s his driving force, the way that he always lets soobin know that he’s the best leader, the way that he and beomgyu pretend that they’re so different with their mbtis but are always, always there for each other and looking out for each other in every way that counts.
to taehyun!! my boy who lives so tucked inside my heart, who has lived there ever since that little intro video over four years ago now. i think no matter what happens, no matter how busy i am or where i am in life, i will always be rooting for you. i will always be proud of you. every which way i look at it, you have so much still ahead of you and i have no doubt that you will excel at everything you choose pursue — if not right away, then in no time at all. i hope this year is just the biggest one yet and that it gives you so many reasons to laugh. and most of all, i hope that you always, always keep those stars in your eyes.
♡ HAPPY HEECHAN DAY ♡
everyone wish my yangstar a happy birthday RIGHT this instant!! he'll know it if you don't so do it right now before he gets sad!!
quick cc note: omg long time no talk guys...... but i'm back i am spilling out my feelings i bet you MISSED this!! (pls do not feel obligated to read all of this u know how it goes!)
anyway... my heechan my yangstar my little mirrorball.... i don't know if it's evident because a lot of times i can't even speak about him because i feel too protective of him LOL but i really love him So much.
the thing about heechan is that he is so incorrigibly himself at all times that i never stood a chance. i think i've mentioned before how lune charmed me like thirty seconds into dkb's first peak time segment but heechan was NOT far behind! during their intro stage when he strode up, all swagger, absolutely thrumming with energy and yelled 이게 바로 멋인기라 !!!! i was TOAST. i didn't know it at the time but i was a GONER !! honestly. i can't think of a better introduction!! like. what could be more indicative of heechan as a performer. god i love him.
i think one of the reasons i do feel so protective of him is because he is always trying so hard. he is trying so fucking hard all the time he is always ALWAYS giving it everything he has and then he somehow finds it in himself to give even more. lmao it makes me want to cry ha ha ha. i am grateful every day for how hard he worked to get to where he is now and i want everyone in the world to perceive him!!! and also i don't want anyone to look at him unless they LOVE and RESPECT him as he deserves!!
heechan on stage is a force to behold — obviously i was absolutely enthralled by him lol like i was not immune to the sheer force of his presence !! but heechan offstage is like... so endearing. he's very earnest (i think his stage presence is earnest too, if you know what i mean) and is always striving to make sure fans feel seen and heard. i joke very often that heechan should be paying ME for subscribing to his bubble given that i do nothing on there but ply him with reassurance and praise lmao but honestly! he is so active and diligently sends photos to make bbs happy and he always updates us on how his day is going and as he goes to bed he often reminds us to send anything we want to tell him and that he really truly does read everything fans leave for him whether it's on fc or bubble or comments on his fancams (that he checks religiously aslkdjfalsk).
i think it's pretty clear that heechan is really someone who thrives in the spotlight, who loves being the center of attention, but !! he gives that energy back! all of the love and enthusiasm that's poured into him he gives back tenfold, with his boundless exuberance and his innate desire to make people smile.
my yangstar i hope you save some of yourself... for yourself. i hope you know that you shine so brightly even when you're not putting SO much effort into it — but that we do see you working so hard and always, always appreciate it. i hope that you are always surrounded by love and that you know that you're doing so well and that the coming years bring you joy and fulfillment and laughter to spare! ily my yangstar!!!
♡ HAPPY HYUNGWON DAY ♡
wishing the happiest of birthdays to hyungwon, who is still mid-comeback week and likely will have! very little time to relax because of their whirlwind schedules! nonetheless i hope he snatches some moments to do what makes him happy, that he’s smiling all day, that the people around him make him feel extra special amidst all of the hustle and bustle. :’)
quick cc note: ah well we all know how this goes right!! i don’t know how obvious this is, but for as quickly as kihyun cemented his status as a resident of my heart, hyungwon was barely a step behind. and like. i simply accepted it. i was like. ah yes. this makes sense. (it didn’t! he’s not my usual bias type at all. as opposed to minhyuk, who IS, and who i fought tooth and nail.) it was like. what. was i supposed to say NO to this silly lanky string bean of a man who is so endlessly graceful onstage and then. regularly falls over his own feet when he isn’t performing? absolutely irresistible imo.
[enter brief delusional paragraph im so sorry] ok. in the most normal way possible. if u were like. megan who in monsta x do u think you would Actually be good friends with. hyungwon is the obvious pick!! and the reason i think this is. a) infps tend to get along with other infps and i think our energies match well. b) i would go get seafood with him all the time so kihyun doesn’t have to. c) on a worldview level i am nearly perfectly aligned with minhyuk and as we know hyunghyuk are soulmates! in conclusion i just think. we would get along. in my mind hyungwon is my friend. let me have this!! okay. end delusions.
because it’s his birthday... and bc you all know it already, i’ll admit once again that hyungwon is my absolute favorite mx producer. (shh don’t tell the others!) the sheer DRAMA in most of his songs and the way he writes so compatibly with kihyun’s wheelhouse is so <3 to me...... but like. genuinely, every time i see his name in a song’s credits, i KNOW that it’s going to be one of my favorites on the album, no exceptions. (by the way, spotify code in the second panel is active and goes to a playlist of his songs! i’ll keep it current.) i love the progression of dj h.one (MY BELOVED) to producing songs for his group, and even outside of his group!
hyungwon i think more than any other member has really come into his own in the past year or two, and it’s like. really lovely to see. he has always been charming and handsome and he has always had a smile that could knock you right off guard, but lately he has been brimming with confidence! (which. i love.) it’s in the way he carries himself, the way he’s so much more sure-footed and is just comfortable in his skin. i really admire the way he’s so steady. i think his personality, while so incredibly endearing and often playful, is maybe less flashy than some others in the group, but he is still such a force to be reckoned with. i think often of that interview he did recently, where a fan talks about feeling like it’s too late to try learning new things, and he rebuts that notion firmly, talking about how he himself was a “late” bloomer in so many things in his life, but that there’s no such thing as TOO late, as long as there’s a willingness to learn. i’ve been carrying those words with me, have held them close and reminded myself of them whenever i’ve felt myself shying away from starting something for fear of not being good at it right away, for fear of being “behind” everyone else.
i’m really happy that he seems to finally be getting broader recognition. i know that he doesn’t need outside validation really, and that he’d be just as happy as long as the group was doing well, but he deserves the millions of views on his my alcohol diary episode, and he deserves that drama gig, and he deserves to be getting invited to luxury brand events left and right! he deserves the korean gp falling over themselves to talk about how handsome and kind and wonderful he is!!
i think 2023 is going to be his YEAR. he is riding momentum, he is catching fans left and right, he is, as i said, brimming with such energy and confidence and i cannot imagine a world in which that energy isn’t returned to him. i think so many more opportunities are going to come to him, and i’m looking forward to seeing what he chooses to do.
but career advancement aside, chae hyungwon i hope that you continue to love what you do, and that you get time to rest at some point, hopefully soon! i will always be rooting for you, i cannot wait to see what the future brings. at the end of the day i hope you are happy, i hope you are laughing and smiling more often than not, i hope that you get your introvert recharge time as needed, and most of all, i hope that your wishes, whatever they may be, come true all of this year and beyond.
♡ HAPPY MINHYUK DAY ♡
with all the fondness i hold for him in my heart i am wishing minhyuk a day full of warmth and happiness spent with people he loves in the comfort of his own home or an equivalent safe and cozy place.
quick cc note: hi i think we all know at this point <3 it won’t be quick i won’t even pretend this time! so buckle in babes i actually have an unexpected (or maybe quite expected!) great many feelings about minhyuk!!
ok ok first thing i want to say is. we don’t know our idols i would never presume to know what they’re like in their day to day life BUT i have a strong suspicion that if i’d be in such danger of falling in love w/ minhyuk if he was just some guy i knew. ;LKASDFJKL;ASJ. ok that was humiliating glad i got that out of the way! <3 now we can get started.
minhyuk is an INTERLOPER!! he stole his way into my heart and took up residence!! he simply arrived and settled in and REFUSED TO LEAVE!! the audacity of it all. i was sitting so so pretty w/ my mx megline i was perfectly happy and comfy with my three guys and then it was like he stomped his foot and said BUT WHAT ABOUT ME and my resistance buckled. (what actually happened is that wings wore me down and i had to admit that i did like him so much in fact.)
what actually actually happened is that i came to. really appreciate the way he has steel in his spine, but most of the time, before you ever even get to that, you get his winsome smile and his twinkling eyes and his voice and his words laden with honey and you blink and suddenly he’s gotten his way. i like that he always stands up for his loved ones and isn’t afraid to tell fans to stay in line and i like that in 2020 he took stock of his group and their situation and the terrible song that their company wanted them to come back with and he said. we will not be doing that, actually. and he convinced them and then jooheon said ‘here’s gambler’ and the rest is history!! we get jooheon title tracks now!!!
i like that he doesn’t enjoy being the de facto eldest and in charge of greetings with shownu in the military but that he puts his best foot forward to represent his group anyway! i like that he loves narrative driven music videos and that he’ll analyze storylines and scenes with enthusiasm! i like that he loves whales, and i like that the reason he loves whales is that to him they represent being able to carry his loved ones towards good things. i like his tenacity in the face of adversity and the way he proved himself on no.mercy so many years ago and hit the ground running and has grown in spades since then, but still thinks so fondly of the fabric softener that he and hyungwon would use during their hard trainee days.
i like his sense of humor and his seemingly boundless energy when he’s got his entertainer hat on, and the way that he’s such a homebody on his own time. i like that he is keenly aware of the effect he can have on others as an idol, and that he thinks a lot about the bond between kpop stars and their fans, and that he in turn seeks to maintain a healthy relationship with mbbs.
i like that he’s an artist through and through, and i like when he paints to express himself and i like when he paints presents for the members and i like when he does crafts on vogueshipshow and his brow furrows when he focuses hard.
the thing maybe i don’t like is that !! he never really. seems to acknowledge how important he is to the group and i would like to grab him by the shoulders and tell him that he is so so vital to their dynamic and their success as a group and that he works so hard and has done so much to get mx’s name out there and that without his particular vocal timbre mx songs would sound empty and without him onstage you’d acutely feel that something special was missing.
whew anyway. lee minhyuk i adore you in a normal, non-parasocial manner. i hope that this next year ushers in a chapter of your life that brings you a measure of peace and a chance to rest, and that you can take the time to breathe and just be. and i hope the year brings you so many reasons to laugh and smile. we love you and we’ll keep walking with you no matter what the road ahead brings!!
♡ HAPPY JOOHEON DAY ♡
i am wishing jooheon a really, really nice day. i imagine the monstas are back to being quite busy, but i hope that jooheon can take some time for himself and have some good old fashioned fun, whether that’s a night out on the town or a quiet evening spent relaxing.
quick cc note: HELLO... we’re in meg’s monsta bday graphics era :) who better to kick us off than THE incomparable and incorrigible JOOHONEY ONE HUNNIT? i admit to feeling a little bad because i know i so rarely post him on this blog, but i want you all to know that he lives, of course, in my heart along with like. the rest of the monstas.
to me, honey is like. okay so. i feel like kpoppies as a whole have gotten REAL used to throwing around the word “ace” and “all-rounder.” and like... sometimes... not that any idols in question are NOT extremely talented and probably excellent in several categories... but ARE they lee jooheon. jooheon to me is like, really a true ace in that he does it all and THEN some, and he does it all WELL. he outsings he outdances he outcomposes and outwrites and of COURSE he outraps. and on THAT subject! i have often said that they don’t make idol rappers like they used to and i stand by it. honey is a rapper who is also an (excellent) idol. there’s a reason that the monstas are so looked up to and well thought of in the industry, and honey is a huge, huge, part of it. and the thing is! he knows he’s good, right? and when he was younger, that came out in this brashness, a chip on his shoulder. but he’s mellowed a lot and i think now it’s more of a confidence where he doesn’t need to SHOW that he’s good because he knows and we all know he’s good. and as he’s said, he’s gained perspective through his time in the industry. i just think he’s grown up so well and into himself in such a beautiful way <- embarrassing and sappy.
i think the main thing that. really stands out to me about jooheon is the honesty in his music, especially his solo work. he lives and breathes music (every moment can be music!!!) and it shows. he can be so raw and direct that it’s like a punch in the gut. i don’t think i can explain what it’s like seeing him perform smoky live except to say that afterwards, you feel like you’ve been wrung out emotionally. i will always be so grateful to him for sharing that and laying his own struggles out bare in order to share and shoulder the burden.
i’m also grateful to him for the way he is the engine of monsta x, the way he is the heart of so much of their music, and i’m grateful for the way that even though he’s been through some really hard times and has found the courage to not only keep on walking, but to keep us by his side and let us have a look into his most vulnerable moments through his music.
i hope that he knows that! so many of us appreciate him and love him and really wish for his continued success and happiness. i for one can’t wait to see what’s still to come for honey, and like. not to be sappy but i’ll keep on walking with him wherever he happens to find himself headed.
