#beasteye denalien

[kehideni]

Finally i made Orrax!!!

[kehideni]

For Ash Legion.

[kehideni]

Beasteye Denalien and Raphael are ready to face Secrets of the Obscure!

[kehideni]

Recommended song before i forget:

Did you guys know that kittens, when they feel extremely threatened will spit in your eye, with very good precision! I got personal experience with that when Happy (my cat) was little and i was waaaay too eager to introduce myself to him :T it's ok, we're friends now.

I didn't much tell anyone, but i have experienced hysterical strenght before. Class was about to start but teacher wasn't there yet. Those classmates of mine that were already in the room decided to close me out, but they accidentally shut the door on my finger which hurt as all fuck and i opened said door 1 vs 6. I didn't much care for that when my classmates were bewildered with me (asking me "what are you?") because damn, i was just glad i could keep my finger. With all that adrenaline it was very hard to breathe, i felt like i ran a marathon on full speed, my finger would have been severed had i not paniced. Essencially, that's what happening with Deni in here now. It's not a panic attack, just hysterical strenght.

Oh yeah, i should remind you that this story is not really a... cute one. Eventhough our characters are mostly cubs. Things will happen that if get too... brutal i will cut away or just hint at it having happened because, soonish we will see atleast one brutal law in action that the Ash Imperator made.

But hey! Euryale and Howl the Brazen got introduced! How about that?

There are still things i could say, but this post is long as it is so... wait for the next update? idk..

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8(you are here)

Ps.: am i the only one confused as all hell with Arenanet's depiction of the charr growth cycle? They say they mature the same way as humans but then say things like baby charr can already follow their mother through the harshest terrains?? Biiiii- that's not the same as humans! That's advanced! Anyway, since i'm confused i just go with: they are 5 year olds here (give or take a few months), and let's just pretend 5 year old in charr equals to a 10 year old in human, and through the years the maturity levels equal arouuuunnnnddd 20? I guess??? So both humans and charr are fully mature by 20, aaaand charr just mature faster in the early years and slow down nearing 20? Understand what i mean?

[kehideni]

FINALLY got it...

Zojja is after my heart i swear...

She is so far the most open about her feelings towards the Commander and i appreciate that finally one of our companions appreciates us. Even Braham needed to be drunk for that smh

[kehideni]

10 FREAKIN’ IMAGES IN 2 DAYS UPDATE TO LAZY COMICS!!!

My hands hurt...

1 2 3 4 5 6(you are here) [the quality changes because i never drew these in chronological order, page 5 was supposed to be a one off thing but my mind span out of control] maybeishouldredrawpage5

Not much to say yet since this is pretty much a set-up update. Gonna have to figure out where to cut corners otherwise how TF am i to call this lazy comics?

I didn’t mention this before but the frame-story to these is that Aurene is asking Commander Denalien about his cubhood which is why these pages were named so.

BEFORE YOU SAY IT: i didn’t mean Primus Bullhorns to look like Bangar. Believe me it was an accident. I only knew he had bull-like horns and he needed to be a Veteran so when i came to drawing him Bangar came out lol xD i didn’t have the patience to change up his design so lookalike he stays. Don’t worry he will die. (spoilers oops)

I still can’t draw cute charr cubs... but to be fair this story is not going to be cute. We are about to meet Euryale though and Raphael is still a long way from hatching.

Now i’d link what music i listened to while drawing but pretty much my whole ass playlist. All of them...

But i do have a recommended song for this as a little foreshadowing that fits PERFECTLY:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYgrDcXHLwA

(pay very close attention to the lyrics)

[kehideni]

 :3

hmm? ohh i didn’t want to say anything with this picture, it’s just a mood drawing and a bit of a pose practice

Music i listened to:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLdCAVAEDic

[kehideni]

Song i listened to while making this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUz5pDWtjfA

(sush i know it doesn’t exactly fit as it’s about a ghost visiting his son, but the vibe is similar enough)

Ho boi... here comes the letter, it’s long:

 Taimi,

Honestly i don’t even know what i want to say, there are too many things i could talk about. From your condition to who i really am... this is why i write this letter in the first place though.

 Because everything i have to say is just too much, also whenever i try to talk about them i choke up. It’s funny isn’t it? “The Commander” chokes up on words. I guess this is a good place to start, did you know that “Commander” is just one of my titles? Just one of my identities? I know you know my name but do you know who that is? I used to know.

The fact is i had to sacrifice a lot of things for Tyria. Hence the Globe i gave you.

“Beasteye Denalien” is my full name, but i prefer to be called The Commander, have you ever wondered why? It’s because “Denalien” is buried far too deep in my past. Denalien was an Ash Legion charr cub, he had a few things in common with you, such as being a sort-of-orphan (long story). You’d think it’s easy to have an identity as a charr, since they beat it into us since birth. Turns out that identity is what the High Legion wants us to be: soldiers.That’s not an identity... I learned rather early that we were supposed to be easily disposable. Have you ever heard Rytlock talk about “acceptable losses”? We were raised to accept death, is what he meant. My “identity” was shaken already as a cub since for some reason no matter how much they tried to beat it out of me, i never could easily forsake anyone i grew to care about.

My sire- no. - My father once said i inherited my mother’s heart. How i wish i would have had enough time to get to know her... she named me, you know. She wanted to give me an identity too, with the name Denalien. Apparently a clever and strong beast, and if i wear his name too i will be clever and strong too. (As a cub i wondered if i was also supposed to be a beast by that logic...) to prove myself i tried to slay said beast, i was unsuccessful.

For charr, their warband is supposed to be their “family” and more. This was the one thing i could wholeheartedly get behind in my young years, and i still agree with it to an extent, as i think of Dragon’s Watch as a warband.

Another of my titles was “Legionare”, i came by that title because my warband - all but me and Euryale - died in the mission where i first met Rytlock. I didn’t keep that identity for long either, because i soon got promoted to Centurion, which was also rather short lived.

I joined the Order of Whispers, i’m pretty sure you read up on me from that point forward. I know you know who Tybalt Leftpaw was, you know how much i kept going and fighting.

Have you ever wondered why? I have... and looking back i honestly don’t know how i did it. People just kept on dying for my sake, how is that acceptable?? I told myself that i need to take one step after the other so their sacrifice would not be in vain. I got used to fighting a hopeless war.

You’d think the first breath of air i took was after Zhaitan’s defeat, right? Truth is, it was too close a call already. So many times “what if”s bombarded me in my nightmares: what if i wasn’t enough, what if there wasn’t a way, what if Logan and Rytlock didn’t listen to me, what if i couldn’t help Eir, what if i couldn’t calm Zojja down, what if i couldn’t keep Caithe from the Nightmare Court?

The airship we boarded got destroyed, what if Tyria’s hope didn’t catch us in time? What if the cannons didn’t have the promised effect on Zhaitan?

Truth is, the first time i realized i could breathe was when you came into my life. You cannot possibly fathom how close i was to shatter under all the weight the world was putting on me. Your help was invaluable, and often times i looked to you to help me. “Just tell me what to do, and i will do it, Taimi.” was often a thought i had.

Before you, i tried really hard to keep some sort of distance between myself and the people i met. I avoided the Pact and Trahearne, i avoided Destiny’s Edge, and i kept a healthy distance from Kas, Jory, Braham and even Rox. Even you, at the beginning.

Mordremoth’s arrival changed a lot of us, not just the sylvari. I can’t place when exactly, but around his awakening i realized i have let you and the others in.

I think of you as my own blood Taimi, you grew up right by me and i could always rely on you. I couldn’t ask for a better cub, if i could design them by hand. I love you, don’t ever forget that.

You taught me again who i am. Who i was. Denalien, the cub who fiercely protects those he views as family. A quiet cub, who would give his life for yours.

So please.

Don’t leave me.