Dear *anyone* - Jed Lowrie (you don't have to publish this one, but maybe it'll help?)
Thank you. For everything.
I’ve never been able to actually tell you this - in person or even by writing to you - because I’m just crippled by shyness and that exponentially multiplies when it’s someone I’ve never met but who means a lot to me.
I do have it in me, though, to tell the internet that you helped save my life.
See, in 2009 I had a full-on mental breakdown. I was losing my sanity to OCD. I was barely able to keep my head above water and I legitimately thought that it was going to kill me. My brain even told me itself that the only way out was to die, and when that hit me out of fear I started getting help.
That year was the first time I went to Spring Training, though, and seeing you there buoyed my spirits somewhat. Eventually, though, that year you ended up hurting your wrist and so we both ended up with 2009 as a lost year. I admired your resilience, though - no matter what happened, you were always smiling and trying your best, and I resolved to try and smile too. It was hard because the OCD was making things rather difficult, but I did my best.
2010 brought me back to Spring Training to see you again. I was at the game you left early because of what turned out to be mononucleosis (you athletes need to stop sharing water bottles!). I knew coming back from that was going to take a long time, but I also believed you could do it. I took some flack for it in baseball circles, but I stuck with you anyway.
I found out in 2011 that you used that downtime whilst you were sick to finish your Stanford degree. It was an amazing coincidence to me because I was graduating in 2011 and now we were getting our degrees at the same time. I remember crying about it a lot - I was struggling with what was an emotionally abusive friendship at the time and I needed all the positivity I could get. I clung to news about you as a result.
After a year in Houston you settled into Oakland in 2013 and you’ve been playing amazingly well - seeing you happy and healthy means a lot to me because it wasn’t so long ago that you had injuries and illnesses to fight through. 2013 was also a turning point for me - I started grad school and finally realized what it meant to be happy with myself. You and Milessa (and Saige now too!) are doing well and that makes me really happy, too, of course!
So long story short, thank you for everything. You inspired me to live.
