#beautiful messages

[okamirayne]

Hi Rayne!

I’m a longtime fan (I read BtB when you were releasing OtC).

I just wanted to pop by as I’m doing my regular reread of the series, which is a habit I reserve for my most favourite books, and say hi and check in on you.

How are you? And (no pressure at all) how are you getting on with your original works? I look forward to the day I can read more of your wonderful writing. I’ve seen your updates on burnout and I don’t think this will help much but I want you to know you have a loyal fan in me who would enjoy and applaud anything that you write. I hope you have a wonderful rest of the year and festive season if you celebrate!

Hello, my dear Anon!💜

I’m a longtime fan (I read BtB when you were releasing OtC).

Oh wow! That's just so awesome. Thank you so much for the love you've shown the series. I'm so ridiculously touched that you return to enjoy the BtB madness and that it ranks among the stories you revisit. So, so happy and insanely chuffed to hear this. 💜💜💜

[..] say hi and check in on you.

How are you? And (no pressure at all) how are you getting on with your original works?

...there is a picture somewhere (a meme) of what looks like a hedgehog losing it's shit...*searches for it*

This, presently, is me. I am this spiky little ball of hot ballistic head injury waiting to happen.

Slightly more realistic representation:

Not sure whether that answers your question, my luv. 😅

My idiocy aside, it's so very sweet of you to check in. Thank you 🙏🏼 💗💜 I'm sadly still muscling my way through the shitshow that is creative burnout and trying to put out a few personal dumpster fires. My recent return to the BtB series has been an attempt to reconnect myself to my creativity...

I've been eyeing HHU for a few weeks now...

I’m considering flexing the atrophied muscle of my writer's brain by working a little on this BtB instalment, just to see if it gets the vital life-giving creative blood flowing again...

My original works remain preserved in a freeze-frame -- not abandoned, just locked behind a bloody glass wall (hence 'holding the wall and screaming'). My poor OCs are a collective entity, sitting with their chins in hand, eyeing me from beneath heavy lids, eyebrows cocked, waiting for me to come alive again.

And messages like yours?

They're a life-giving shot. Hugely nourishing to that deeply sad and starved part of me.

Thank you. 💕💜💕

Seriously. My earlier humour aside, your message has found me grasping another life-line of hope, and another reminder why I will not give this up - Screaming Hedgehog will prevail.

I’ve seen your updates on burnout and I don’t think this will help much [...]

Oh my dear, sweet, humble, beautifully kind, Anon -- how profoundly wrong you are about that, my friend. 🥹 You could not be further from the truth.

[...] but I want you to know you have a loyal fan in me who would enjoy and applaud anything that you write.

*hears her own heart break -- in the best way* 💔💔❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Anon...This message from you impacts me in ways that, as usual, I fail to be able to communicate in words. I might be able to choreograph it in some dynamic form of hug/glomp/undying-embrace, from which you might not be able to extricate yourself without a tasergun (or tea, I'll take the carrot over the stick). But please, PLEASE, know that by reaching out to leave me this message, what you've done does WAY more than help. It heals. It hits. Hard. Right in the heart. And I clearly need that.

🤔 I recognise that doesn't make much sense, but it helps to remember why it hurts so damned badly not to be writing, otherwise I numb out, and that's devastingly worse than feeling the bottomless sadness. Your message lets me access that, which then lets me access the deep joy, gratitude, and encouragement which comes from hearing that my particular strain of storytelling madness is still wanted, still desired, even after so much time has passed since I last wrote...

I never assume this.

Christ, it's a fear that haunts me at every turn, so to have some of that demonically painful terror exorcised by your beautiful message goes waaaaay WAAAAY beyond helpful. Please don't ever doubt the power your words have had or how deep they reach. I'm talking deep deep roots here. My appreciation is boundless.

Thank you. 💕💜💕

I wish you a generously blessed rest of the year, Anon, however you do your wintering, festive or not, I hope it's fun and fulfilling🌟. Thank you also for your warm wishes! Yes, I usually celebrate, though this year will be a more subdued time due to a personal loss; that said, I will embrace all good tidings for the season of giving -- starting with this beautiful message from you. 💕

[eclipsewarrior101]

PLEASE WATCH In The Heights

in the heights is an emotional rollercoaster of love, understanding and family. It was a beautiful movie with real world issues and it made me remember how important my family is. With Covid it helped me realize how much family means to me. The songs were beautiful, the dancing was incredible and the messages were inspiring.

remember who you are, fight for what you believe and family is your greatest treasure.

the movie is available in the theaters or on HBO max. Please watch this. It is a movie you won’t forget.

[blossomfully]

i fell in love with a boy who was supposed to be my roommate, but we fell in love before i could even get my foot through the door. we kissed for the first time on a pier on the mississippi river under the guise of getting to know each other. i moved into his front room and made his house look like a home. he took me to dinner every night. we made love in the shower. i'll never forget how much i loved kissing the underside of his jaw. i've never regretted leaving someone more.

[ticklygiggles]

It's tiiime for meeee to give you a bit of loooove~ Hello, Mia dear! I hope you're doing well right now and aren't getting too overworked! I just wanted to say you're a wonderful human being and I'm super happy that you are my friend! Take care of yourself and don't push yourself to do anything. That's all I have to saaay. I hope you're having a good evening! <3

WHAT’S THIIISSSS!!! Why are you all being so nice to me tonight? What’ve done to deserve you TT-TT)9

Emma precious ♥ I am not overworking too much, I promise! You are so so beautiful, Emma, let me love you forever ♥♥ You take care of yourself too! Thank you for being so lovely and for being my friend, deeeaarrrr. Have a beautiful evening!! *smooches*

[blossomfully]

I fell in love with a boy who lived at the other side of a lake from where I live. When we met it was like love at first sight. He made me believe that love was soft and warm and he told me how happy he was that he met me because he knew that I was missing in his life, after four months he broke up with me without any explanation. Two years later we are back together and I still don’t know if I’m back with him because of love or because missing him became a habit.

[blossomfully]

I knew he’d never love me. At least not in the way I loved him. But I still couldn’t stop myself from falling. Sometimes, when we were laughing so hard we couldn’t breathe, or when we just sat together in silence enjoying being in someone’s company, I could see it. See what’d it be like to love and be loved by him. See how our connection would transform into the kind of love they write poetry about. I could sit there and see our possible future in his eyes, but he could only see me as a friend.

I’m sorry

[blossomfully]

Two years. Two years of this dance and in some ways, it's beautiful. When we met, we were children - fighting to be known, wishing that we had the words to describe everything that we felt. I wanted him, crooked smile and so much passion. He was strong and brilliant and sweet and foolish and arrogant and careless with others. God, I wanted him to want me. Now, almost three years later, I have hated him and cried for him and left a thousand times. But he always comes back. And I always let him.

God.

[blossomfully]

We sat there alone, smoking and he looked at me and there was this split second of realization when I knew I was in love with him. I never meant for this to happen. You never do, right? He's talking about his girlfriend. He's spending the night at her place and he's telling me about how sex is fucking amazing and that she's beautiful and I sat there, looking into his eyes and everything hurt. He was right there. But I couldn't reach.

Oh man.