#because its working

[gl1tzygl0ck]

How quickly do you think you can drink 1 litre of water

Hmm if im really thirsty then in 5 minutes i think

[judithchopsley]

Holding you perfectly still and staring at you.

blinks at you. what spell are you trying to cast on me?

[rt3nenbaum]

Ready for qualifying day. 👊

[hopkei]

only the most authentic of vlog content

[goodiecornbread]

Danuary, day 13

This pic has it all: brows, curls, scruff, lips...

Happy [belated] birthday, Lydia! Sorry that Redmond usurped your actual day. Hope Dan makes up for it

[veenxys]

shigiraki is a simp for u (/pos)

[chaoticenergyradiating]

your dose of san to lovingly wreck you 🥰

also

Thank you for the loving wrecking 😭 I accept it with open arms ❤ San is so soft and squishy I just

THAT LAST ONE! MIA, IM

[rabble-dabble]

Idea: John and Karkat have been noticeably acting different around each other. Curious, Dave asks if John is Karkat's boyfriend. Karkat just hears the words "Boy' and "Friend" and assumes humans divide up their friendships for some reason, so he just goes "...YES? I THOUGHT YOU KNEW THAT?" Dave spreads word and now everyone thinks they're actually dating even though they aren't. Everyone gets a laugh when they do actually start dating and make their relationship public.

Hushed whispers that start out ridiculous and end up gentle. Nights going out to fun events where they both end up at each other’s side. The overwhelming stack of Karkat’s favorite troll movies right next to John’s stack of horrible Earth ones. 

Dave knows exactly what’s going on here. 

Of course, he doesn’t let on that he knows yet. It’s his two best bros, after all, and he wants to give them an out if they just so happen to have been getting more chummy around each other than Dave himself would be usually comfortable with. It’s not like he has all of the free time in the world as those two do, really, so if he happens to be wrong about it (although Dave isn’t really ever wrong) he can just blame it on how many times he finds Karkat more and John’s than he does at his own house. 

His strategic plan is simple: ask one of them until they give in. 

John’s too squirmy, so his default choice is, of course, Karkat. Karkat’s definitely going to chew his head off, whether in embarrassment or being found out, so, he’s gotta make this count. Dave, although not much of a planner, knows a good opportunity when he sees one. He abides his time, and waits, and waits, and waits…

John taking a leak is the perfect cover. 

“So,” Dave starts, one hand full of porcelain counter and the other with a red cup of cold soda that bites fuzzily at his mouth. “You and John, huh?”

“What about me and John?” Irritated already, Karkat stands in front of a heat box that is popping the third mess of popcorn waiting to happen. “I have no fucking clue what that’s supposed to mean.”

Dave takes a sip of his soda. “I mean, that’s a thing alright.”

Karkat squints his eyes over to him, his face akin to someone who has heard the stupidest thing in their entire life. 

Dave doesn’t falter as he continues. “I just mean that my two best bros have really been hitting it off for a while. I mean, it’s not like I have anything against that, ‘cus I’m cool with all that, but I’m just wondering when y’all plan on, I don’t know, actually admitting it.”

Karkat stares blankly at him for another three popped-filled seconds, before grumbling, “Dave, stop being a shithead and just ask whatever it is you’re thinkpan is attempting to S.O.S. into the world without giving you a mental breakdown.”

Dave frowns, but he tilts his face enough that one could spot the start of red eyes. “Bro. You have to tell me: is John your boyfriend?”

Dave doesn’t get the look of shock or flush he expects from the troll. Instead, clear as day, Karkat looks almost bored.

“Of course we’re boy friends, you shithead. I’m pretty sure that’s been established at some point in our twisted fucked-up version of life that we have pretty much always been boy friends.”

Dave’s eyebrows skyrocket to the moon. “Wait, shit, really?”

Karkat nods without looking at him, eyeing the popcorn bag intensely. “Uh. Yeah? When has that never not been a thing? With what we’ve all been through, it would be just a complete lie to say that we aren’t, like, the best of boy friends. I mean, he’s said to me before that I am. I think it’s completely idiotic, really, but at least this is better than nothing. You humans and your weird shit is so confusing at times, but at least he’s enough of an idiot to dumb it down for me.”

Dave sips his pop a considerable amount to think. Holy shit, his mind whirrs, I didn’t expect him to actually admit it.

And then Dave’s cheeks flush, because oh, how many times did he invite himself over without understanding he was interrupting something?

“Shit,” Dave hisses. Karkat turns to him with an eyebrow perked, but Dave just chugs the rest of his pop, waving him off, and heads towards the kitchen door. “Sorry dude. I didn’t know.”

Karkat’s face is undescribably irritated with a mix of confusion. “Um. Okay then, well, at least you know now? Where the fuck are you going.”

Dave excuses himself gracelessly. “I have to not be a cockblock somewhere else. See you guys later.”

Karkat doesn’t even get a word in before Dave’s shut the front door. 

The timer on the microwave beeps, and John enters the kitchen with wandering eyes. 

“Where’d Dave go?”

“I don’t know,” Karkat mumbles, taking out the steaming bag and careful not to burn himself. “Something about not blocking something else? He was being weird.”

“Yeah, okay,” John giggles. He points to the popcorn bag. “You going to share?”

“Only if you let me put on my movies.”

“Aww man! Fine. Don’t forget the salt!” --- As Dave Strider walks down the road to the city, he does a very, very, uncool Strider thing. 

He calls first. 

“David.”

“Hi Dave!!”

Dave brushes off anything said afterwords to interrupt and go: “Guys, shut up, you’re not going to believe this. John and Karkat are dating.”