#bed bugs boh

[bunsofhoney]

Peter: Is that a bazooka in your closet?

Wade: ...Or am I just happy to see you?

Peter: You can't have that thing in downtown Manhattan.

Wade: It barely works.

Peter: Barely???

From Bed Bugs

[bunsofhoney]

Peter: I need to go apartment shopping. I can't stay here when my new arch-nemesis knows where I live.

Wade: I could come with you. Give you some professional advice on...security.

Peter: Professional advice, huh? From a professional criminal?

Wade: Hey, baby, nobody knows the business better than me. Want to make your website secure, hire a white-hat hacker. Want to make your apartment secure, hire the guy who broke in and kidnapped you.

Peter: *Massive eye roll*

From Bed Bugs

[bunsofhoney]

Hey honey buns!

I'm just sitting in my corner shipping Wade, Peter, their other loves, other Spider-people, and Symbrock, in various configurations. Original fanfiction and reblogs of art and errata. NSFW content.

Attention! If you're wondering why I haven't updated a fic, it's because I have a 2-year-old and any kind of long form writing is not being prioritized. Yes I'm still thinking about it and yes I'm still planning to update. Eventually. A lot of my creative juices are going into RP right now, which is just as fun and even more masturbatory than fanfic. :D

#My Work, #My Memes, and buns.txt have original content, or search by work title in the tags below for inspo and excerpts. Fic descriptions below the cut.

Questions welcome! Look for #ask game for ideas.

Follows from my secret identity @harrowitzer

Peter B. Parker RP blog: @bstandsforbabydaddy

AO3: BunsOfHoney | Buy me a kofi

For the record, my favorite/recommend works are:

Snake Oil

Better than Beyond Beef (and Tear You Apart)

The Bell Jar (and Bed Bugs)

Watching You Watch Me

Toxic

Fic Master List

Standalone Stories and AUs:

Toxic: Peter wakes up with a familiar if unsettling alien friend. He introduces them to Wade (it doesn't go well), fights some crime, learns about phenethylamine, and tries to start unraveling the mystery of Venom's illness. Oh, and don't forget the tentacles. Rated E. (In progress)

BAMFs: 5 times Assassin!Peter tries to kill Wade and 1 time he doesn't. That's it, that's the fic. Rated E (In progress)

Luck and Left Turns: Peter Parker has more in common with a career criminal than he'd like to admit. Or, five times Peter lets Felicia get away with grand larceny, and one time he doesn't. Rated T (for now) (In progress)

Snake Oil : 1920s/religious AU. Peter Parker is the next in line to run the small Methodist church in Middle Grove, NY, a heritage he has begrudgingly accepted. But his flock is wooed when a snake oil salesman boasting supernatural healing powers comes to town. Peter is equal parts aggravated and entranced by the smooth-talking Wade Wilson, and the literal devil on his shoulder. Rated E.

Fools' Gold: the sequel to Snake Oil in which Peter and Wade visit the Tuberculosis Sanatorium and learn more about Peter's, er, powers. Rated E, in progress

Better than Beyond Beef Series: When a sudden explosion leaves them both badly injured, Wade discovers that Spider-Man's mutation can make him a little...feral. Wade makes an offer to help Spidey heal faster and satiate his craving. What's a little cannibalism between friends?

Part 1: Better Than Beyond Beef, Featuring Feral!Spidey, based on this post from @babyblankyerror. Rated T.

Part 2: Tear You Appart, an NSFW epilogue, basically PWP with hunting and chase scenes. Rated E.

The Bell Jar: Wade and Spidey are friends, but Wade doesn't know the high-value mark he's just kidnapped is also Spidey's secret identity. Written with prompts from #febuwhump2023. Rated T.

Bed Bugs: the sequel to The Bell Jar with lots of food and cuddles and angst and healing. Rated M.

Watching You Watch Me: Peter gets a little caught-up in watching Wade, who is caught-up in jerking it to Spider-Man pictures in the Daily Bugle. Or, five times Peter enjoyed watching Wade and one time he got caught. Rated E.

Flufftoberfest: A series of drabbles in which Peter, Wade, their friends, family, and exes get cozy. Rated T.

Parker Photography: "Photographer Peter Parker and his muse Wade Wilson who doesn't think is pretty due to scars but Peter thinks he's literal art." - @babyblankerror. Rated M.

When the War has Took it's Part: inspired by @ primewritessmut's fic, They're Coming to Get You, Barbara. Peter and Wade have a moment of, er, connection in a cold and scary world. Rated E.

Keep a Friend Serene: inspired by love-punch by @ punch-love. The boys get a little intimate. with a knife. Rated E.

Arachnoia: Peter is dealing with a really inconvenient side effect of having spider DNA, and Wade gets him high about it. Rated M

Xanadu AU

Ongoing relationship AU, mix of cannon and headcannon. Peter's in college. Sense and Insensibility was written first.

Pumpkin Spice: Peter hates Halloween, and Wade tries to get him in the mood with gifts of a decorative gourd and expired Halloween candy. Violence ensues. Rated T.

Touching Exchanges: Spider-Man and Deadpool have been fighting together a lot. Peter is growing increasingly... excited...by the various ways Wade touches him while they're working together. Rated E.

Sense and Insensibility: Spider-Man and Deadpool have been palling around for months now, fighting together and building a rapport - but could it be something more? A major conspiracy falls in Peter's lap, and he and the Avengers need Wade's help to solve the case. To make matters worse, the mission takes Deadpool away right when things are getting steamy. Will the dynamic duo save the day, and will love win? Only Wade knows, because he read ahead. Thanks @babyblankyerror for some cute art :) Rated E.

Also there's an alternate Chapter 15 with a panic scene (rated T)

Love Heals All Wounds: One thing no one ever tells you about being in the Avengers: it's fucking hard work. Inspired by the art of @kodomon. Rated E.

Crime Rates and Ice Cream: It's too hot for the rooftops. It's too hot for leather and spandex. Peter and Wade look for something to cool them down. Something sticky and sweet, maybe. Inspired by @thefuzzyaya. Rated E.

Along Came a Spider: Wade is quite insistent about the inappropriate use of a nursery rhyme in the dressing room of a pop-up costume shop. Rated E.

Spatch' It To Ya: Wade's miffed when Peter doesn't call or text that he's running late. Oh and they're married now...A cute little spanking fic. Rated E.

[bunsofhoney]

Bed Bugs

"What are you doing?" I ask, squinting at him blearily, although it's pretty obvious.

He smiles. "Making pancakes, Princess Aurora. I went out for a quick raid on the shop across the street and found a mix. I considered a kiss to wake you up but thought a good carb load would work just as well.” . . . After the events of The Bell Jar, Peter and Wade try to find some comfort and normalcy amongst the emotional fallout.

*There are no actual bed bugs in this fic. I considered the idea but it was too squicky. It's just a cute metaphor.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works