#incorrect marvel quotes

[highladyofterrasen7]

[writing-fandom42]

Him coded 100%

[hurtspideyparker]

Tony: I'm buying you a Rolex

Peter: What, why! That's way too excessive

Tony: You need a proper watch

Peter: I have a proper watch *shows off children's Spider-Man watch*

Tony: That is not a watch, that's an embarrassment

Peter: Just wait till you see this—*presses button so it flashes coloured lights* bet your dumb Rolex can't do that

Tony: It can't, and if it did I'd return it

Peter: Sounds like you've never been kidnapped in the dark with nothing but this bad boy to try and pick the lock with. And those suckers said it was too worthless to take, pft

Tony: ...Why do you create more problems for me every time we have a conversation?

[shadyfestivalperfection]

Dating Loki Would Include…..

• He flirts like it’s a weapon—sharp smile, silver tongue, every word tailored to make you flustered.

  But when you call him beautiful? He gets quiet. Almost shy. Like he doesn’t believe it yet.

• You’re the only one allowed to see him undone—crown off, hair loose, voice low. When he’s with you, he’s just Loki.

• He gifts you enchanted trinkets: a ring that glows when you’re in danger, a pendant that warms with your heartbeat, a mirror that always reflects your true self.

• You find out he leaves glamoured illusions of himself to follow you when you travel alone—not out of control, but out of protection.

  “You think I’d let you walk Midgard alone without a shadow watching your back?”

• When he’s thinking deeply, he braids his fingers into yours absentmindedly. You’ve become his grounding spell.

• Arguments are… intense. Words like daggers. But apologies are poetry. He will kneel, kiss your palm, and whisper,

  “You are the only soul I kneel for willingly. I’m sorry, my storm.”

• Midnight conversations often spiral into things he’s never told anyone:

  how the stars whispered to him as a child, how Asgard never quite felt like home, how you do.

• He keeps a journal. You find it once—full of sketches of your eyes, notes about your laugh, a spell for keeping your dreams sweet.

• When you fall asleep beside him, he traces constellations on your skin with his fingertips. And sometimes he says,

  “Even if the Nine Realms fall, I would still choose you.”

[fake-tweets]

[abi7100]

Peter: *sneaks into the tower at 2am*

Tony: *turns in a swivel chair* Care to tell me where you were?

Peter: I was with.. uh... Harley..

Harley: *also turns in a swivel chair* Care to- *keeps spinning* Tony- I can't stop the chair-

[coffeeandjuice]

Bucky every 2 seconds: …You know, Sam—

The rest of the Thunderbolts*: oh my fucking god please stop talking

[hetaczechia]

Yelena, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Ava, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids.

John: What the fuck are you two doing?

Yelena: Playing systemic oppression.