“leave me alone to the books and the radio snow / leave me alone to the charcoal and the dancing shadow”
solitary daughter, bedouine
[what’s on my baran playlist? part 1]
it’s been proven to baran over and over again that she has to carry certain things alone. so maybe she leans into it, takes comfort in the solitude where no one can disappoint or hurt her. sometimes it’s lonely. sometimes the weight of carrying herself is unbearably oppressive. and sometimes it’s such a relief to come home and hold kaveh as his breathing evens and slows. to drink hot tea and watch the moon rise and let everything and everyone slowly slide off of her.
when she learns to let people in, to let them give her what she so freely gives to others, something fundamental shifts in her. she still needs the solitude, the quietness to reset herself. but she also needs someone there next to her to share it with. to feel the stillness breathe in time with the two of them like the universe saying, this is right. this is good.
