The Chronicles of War: The Conflict of Stabbing
Well --
I --
uh --
Well there’s stabbing involved in war, isn’t there?
Isn’t there?!
So let’s take a look at the war with the second most amount of deaths, between the Robust Gulf and the Silvery -- now hold on a second --
Oh
Fuck
I think I started this one
Yep, that’s right folks: in my bid to Destroy All Elves I may have accidentally started a war with over fifteen hundred deaths.
I didn’t think I killed that many elves, but apparently I did.
And I definitely started it. I recognise the name of my commander in the first battle:
Dear Commander Kivish, the Ochre Ape of Fragrances, the aunt of Zan and Kivish, who were both injured when some elven prisoners got loose and wrought havoc.
*Clears throat*
Right.
The actual spotlight. So uh, time for me to air my war crimes I guess.
On the 27th of Obsidian, 166, the Silvery Glazes attacked the Late Zephyr of the Robust Guld at Watchgulfs. Due to Commander Kivish’s brilliance, the defenders were caught with their pants down, and the Silvery Glazes rampaged throughout Watchgulfs.
It was the beginning of many assaults.
The Silver Glazes was brutal. Out of the over fifteen hundred kills, fourteen hundred belonged to the dwarves. 167 saw many more battles, but the Robust Guld wasn’t incompetent, merely outmatched; battles that didn’t involve Murderbell were sometimes won by the elves.
Ah, how naive we were to assume the elves wouldn’t lash out at other Silvery Glazes settlements, because lash out they did.
Remember this picture, and how I mentioned something was hidden in it?
You may have spotted that one of the dwarven settlements wasn’t highlighted red. If you have a particularly good memory, you may have realised this was Beeglen.
It was Beeglen that paid the price for Murderbell’s bloodthirst.
In 167, the Robust Gulf, led by Sethe Diamondstones, lashed out at Beeglen. The attackers lost over half of their force, but Beeglen lost all but three of their citizens, losing a grand total of 111 people and animals. They attacked Beeglen again later that year, but by then reinforcements had come; although Beeglen’s denizens were far outnumbered, they lost nobody and took down 11 attackers. Despite that, the Robust Gulf insisted it was another victory.
One might call them arrogant, but their confidence was well-founded:
Next time the Robust Gulf marched on Beeglen, they stayed. Beeglen became an elven settlement.
The dwarves did not take this insult lying down.
In 169, Gorgemine was roused like a cloud of angry bees, furious at its brother’s demise and humiliation at the hands of elves. Dastot Gloveglowing the Intricacies of Slaughter led a force of six against impossible odds. No less than 177 elves had swarmed the site since its occupancy, and if you thought Dastot was suicidal, you’d probably have many agree.
Dastot and her squad slaughtered a hundred and seventy three elves, and faded away into the night with zero casualties.
Only four elves survived, and those survivors later fell in the war anyway. Beeglen belonged to the dwarves, regardless of who dined in its halls, and Dastot would remind the Robust Gulf of that over and over again with however many elven corpses it took.
Fittingly, this particular battle was called the “Assault of Smoke.”
In the years that followed, the Silvery Glazes would scorch the earth and burn Beeglen until nothing was left, rather than let the elves keep a hold of it. The slaughter continues to this day, and shows no signs of abating.